New: Inner/Outer Womb Twin Imagery on Facebook

One of the many frustrating things about being a womb twin survivor is that our inner reality does not match our outer reality because there is no way to express our true identity as twins when there is no twin there. It's like a man who is really a female inside before sex-reassignment was possible or an obese person who is really a thin person inside before lap-band surgery - there is nothing we can do to prove to the world who we truly are, as we identify ourselves to be twins & multiples. Because WTS are born alone we are somehow supposed to be ok with this and not talk about it, while singletons have their funerals and grief ceremonies for every type of loss, including pet loss, military loss, etc. complete with outpourings of comfort and sympathy from their friends, family and workplace.

Most of the time, people don't know what to say to someone who lost a twin in-utero and usually consider the survivor wrong to be "stuck" or talking about it, surprised that someone would be affected by such an early loss, or downright judging them as crazy - resulting in behavior which is unintentionally dismissive causing the survivor to feel even more alienated and alone than they already are. This is extremely painful because twin loss is the biggest grief loss there is because it means a part of the surviving twin dies too, further, they still trade places and pick up the thoughts and feelings of their twin - even though their twin has died, so the grief is loaded with identity confusion and survivor guilt.

This lack of comfort and expression causes the grief to remain repressed resulting in a sense of turmoil and identity confusion for the survivor who does not feel "normal" and does not know how to articulate it and does not find many places to go for it. The discrepancy between their inner world and outer world widens unless proper channels are made to express the trauma and affirm & heal the ego identity of the survivor.

One tool I found useful during my healing journey was a technique called "picture letters" - my adopted twin and I would send each other letters in the mail of images torn out of magazines which we would write over in our own twin-loss language. It gave us so much joy to make the outer world match our inner world and also to know someone else saw the same things and felt the same way, we felt less alone with our thoughts and feelings and had a safe place to poke fun at our own anger and bitterness about life and the constant irony and duality we felt.

I recently decided to use Facebook the same way - to share the mental imagery of the mind of a Womb Twin Survivor with the world, in hopes that other WTS will have a-ha moments of wonder that someone sees things like they do, that they are not alone, that our condition can even be fun if we embrace it! They can also make comments back to make it an interactive experience which can be instantly gratifying because lone-twins find great comfort in seeing eye to eye with each other the way they would have with their twin.

Please friend Twindividual to view regular womb twin images on Facebook.
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