Saturday, August 13, 2016

Honoring the legacy of Althea Hayton

It's been two years since Womb Twin founder, Althea Hayton, passed from this realm in body - yet her spirit continues to infuse healing miracles all around the world because the work she developed is so effective. She dedicated the last seven years of her life to developing Womb Twin syndrome theories and healing path and we have since carried on the work with impressive results - it holds up for the older womb twin survivors as well as the new crop of IVF babies coming of age.
Today let us remember and give thanks to a great woman who dared to dream beyond the limits in order to carve out new territory for womb twin survivors to have a place to go for help and understanding, which the world is getting closer to embracing. She always said one day the world will get it and then it will be huge. We've gone from baby steps to toddler steps and continue to adapt the work to the needs of Womb Twins everywhere, no matter their age or womb story. We can help now, thanks to Althea.
Everyday she is very much alive in the Womb Twin realm and we couldn't be luckier to live in a time where she made this possible.
Blessings!

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

The Physical Challenges of Very Young Womb Twin Survivors

Question:
What physical challenges does a newborn Womb Twin Survivor face?
Answer:
Because mind body & spirit are interconnected, separating out physical symptoms is difficult because they include deeply emotional/psychospiritual components. All symptoms are a direct result of the what happened in the womb for the survivor and each womb story is unique, so how the symptoms manifest depends on the experience. Details such as when the twin was lost, how it was lost, gender, zygosity, etc. shape the outcome. There are trends seen among womb twin survivors such as:

-Newborns can be in shock not only from the trauma of losing their twin but having to navigate birth solo and thus separate from the mother, when separation already means death. They may be unable to sleep or unable to wake up, they may cry incessantly and be clingier than other babies.

-Sometimes symptoms arise from the NICU depending on the length of time & experience there. The baby, in shock, loses critical attachment bonding with mother due to the often lengthy stay - which is an important "twin replacement" bond that would ease the transition into born life alone but instead, being cared for by various nurses reinforces separation anxiety which can stress the baby and have all kinds of physical repercussions.

-They need to feel a physical barrier in their proprioception to remind them of the good time with their twin (when space was tighter), rather than feel the vulnerability of open space such as when their twin died leaving them alone in it, which they feel guilty about taking up by themselves. The baby will smash it's body into the corner of the crib or cling tightly to another object. (google "The Rescuing Hug" videoclip)

-The baby may appear despondent with inward eyes due to their intense inner nature and hypersensitivity. They may delay speech to hold on to the non-verbal relationship imprint of their twin.

-They may exhibit anomalies such as dermoid cyst, chimerism, 3rd nipple, extra digits or teeth or other unusual markings/features. Ambidexterity. Skin sensitivity/Hypersensitivity.

-All kinds of eating issues show up, from mild to severe, usually originating from feeling guilty about getting more food and surviving. WTS often want to stay small and not be bigger than anyone, not grow, so they can be like their twin or they will show up the size of two or three people, eating for them all. Alternating between the two (as in yoyo dieters) is wonderful way to express duality which is their twin nature. (Not all WTS have these issues, it depends on what happened in the womb).

-As toddlers they may follow/stay in close proximity to caregivers in order to bond and make sure their "twin replacement" doesn't disappear.

-They may exhibit twin confusion by treating a favorite pillow or blanket like a person and go into panic if the object is lost. (buy two of a favorite thing so you have a replacement to avoid this).

-They may have a different sense of boundaries and safety - both personally and interpersonally (usually lacking).

-They may express thoughts about death, dying, killing, etc. as a way to articulate the confusing, unspeakable death which they witnessed before birth.

What can you do to help a very young Womb Twin Survivor? Foster their brilliance while dialing down their triggers, this will help give them the energy to navigate the day and grow. Give them comfort and love. Pick and choose when to give in - they need alot of attention generally but proper boundaries shouldn't be compromised, they should be reinforced (WTS need to learn to navigate the world just like everyone else even though they are quite different). Disagreements, disapproval, separations of any kind are threatening to a WTS so be ready for an unusual amount of anger (too much or too little). Do your best not to judge, be consistent and authentic. Be patient when they flip flop from alpha to beta, they are often two people in one so it gets confusing! Awareness is key...and we can learn to bring out the best in our very special Womb Twin Survivors.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Womb Twin Presence for the Holidays


Holiday time is upon us...it can be a difficult time for those in grief, particularly Womb Twin Survivors who may feel sad or guilty celebrating without their twin or who feel different from their loved ones at times of "togetherness". It can be a busy time of comings and goings and symbolic representation, a reflective time and a depressing & disappointing time. So how can we get through another holiday successfully? What strategies might we use to get through the holidays, year to year and how does that change over time?


I spent many years in agony during this time because all in a row were big dates which were excruciatingly difficult yet I had to be "on" in a world that didn't understand:

Dec21- Womb Twin Day (reflection)
Dec22- My birthday (weird being celebrated without my born twin)
Dec23- My twin death date (she lived 24 hours)
Dec24&25- Christmas Eve & Christmas (rejoicing)
Dec31- New Years Eve & my son's birthday (renewal)

The balancing act between our inner and outer worlds, with all the triggers inherent in family gatherings, can be managed with a little care and foresight. The key is to not let your beta-sabotage take over your annual memory as a way to keep your twin alive. This is your holiday and you deserve to enjoy all the blessings of your life. You deserve to connect and share bonds of love with everyone dear to you, regardless of who is here or who is not. So here are some tips for staying in the alpha-present as you approach this tender time:

-Take control & don't get overwhelmed. Say no if it doesn't feel right and own your decision. Don't feel guilty about anything - it's up to you how you spend your time, who you spend it with, what you eat or drink, where you travel or stay, how active or restful you choose to be. So be sure to say yes to all you need to create for who you are now. It's all up to you, after all it's your holiday and these are your born memories to create.

-Don't have any expectations because you are bound to be disappointed - someone will say the wrong thing, you will get the wrong gift, or any other mechanism will come up to prove that nobody else can ever be your twin. Don't go down this road!

-Channel Emotions in Separate Buckets: use Womb Twin Day Dec 21 to have your twin reflection/ritual time, or do something to celebrate the upcoming holidays privately with your twin first so that the twin part of yourself is acknowledged. Then you can face the holidays without feeling like something is missing. It's ok to acknowledge the part of you that is a twin, if it helps you feel balanced going into the holidays as an individual. Delineate both identities in yourself and create appropriate holiday rituals for each.

-Prepare an out so you can easily get a break from the overstimulation - of lights, colors, shiny textures, laughter, gluttony. Remember to have some down time, this is your time to relax after a year full of hypersensitivity and navigating emotional landscapes just to feel "normal".

-Affirm "this is my memory to have and it's ok" - enjoy yourself!

-Give yourself a symbolic twin gift. Wrap it and open it. You can be the Self who gives a gift to their Twin AND you can be the Twin who receives a gift from their Twin as well as a Self who receives a gift from their Twin. Feel all the ways of being and allow them to resonate. (I thought I was a Self giving a gift to my Self all these years until I realized it was a twin ritual.)

-Be present, that's the best gift of all. Don't disappear or feel invisible just to feel close to your twin. Your twin is where your twin needs to be and you are where you need to be. Now be here!! You just have to give yourself permission...

Happy Holidays to all the special Womb Twins of the World! May your holidays be happy and free, allowing you to shine!

Saturday, August 15, 2015

One Year since Althea left her Legacy to Us

It's been one year since Womb Twin founder, Althea Hayton, passed from this realm on Aug 13 2014 leaving a rich legacy that is being realized more and more with each passing day. To honor her life and work, I have made it my personal mission to do what I can on her behalf to push forward her ideas, raise awareness, practice the healing techniques, document findings via the blogs and continue to adapt what Althea started to fast-changing times in order to ensure relevancy to the younger womb twins coming forward - for the womb twins Althea based her foundational work on were different than those coming forward now. Early days included work with older womb twin survivors who often had no proof but found tremendous healing with this discovery/modality after years of other attempts not quite solving it. Today we see younger womb twin survivors who always knew because they had proof of Vanishing Twin Syndrome or knew they were conceived as a twin/multiple through methods of IVF/ART. Future work will need to facilitate the changing needs of survivors of Multi Fetal Pregnancy Reduction. And I'm seeing new synergies among Living Twins whose pre-natal imprints cause issues and how this work can help them get to the source. I'm seeing more people who are both Living Twins and Womb Twin Survivors. The walls between camps are coming down as we realize that people can be all: a living twin can be a womb twin survivor triplet who becomes a twinless twin who then must come to terms with their individuality. Although the landscape has become ever-more complicated, the healing set forth by Althea Hayton holds up through it all. Her development of this syndrome and healing path have been the extraordinary solution for some already but, in my opinion, the real power of what it's meant to transform is yet to come. I'm proud to say the work is proving effective in every type of scenario.


To recap the year, here are some highlights of the work I have been doing:

- Leading healing sessions by skype from NYC across Europe and US (one brave soul did her first womb regression while traveling by ferry from Finland to Sweden - a wi fi-enabled amniotic reenactment!)

- Two effective healing cases both involving womb triplets with eating disorders/body dismorphia/depression/suicide, others in progress

- Launch of new website Twindividual (still in progress) to broaden the scope of womb twin survivor syndrome to accommodate the new complexity discussed above

- Blog Posts linked to pop-culture events like 'Caitlyn Jenner's transformation' or 'Evil Twin removed from Brain' were placed on social media to insert Womb Twin into the mass conversation causing spikes in visits to our sites

- Our Blog & Womb Twin clip was quoted by a preeminent German prenatal psychologist at a lecture to psychologists, gynecologists, mid-wives, teachers, social workers etc. to make a broader public familiar with the effects of prenatal traumas one of which of course is the loss of a twin in the womb

- Developed a new womb regression technique utilizing float pods (a sensory deprivation saltwater tank) which can be used for anyone - the masses can access their potential 1 in 8 wombtwinness, womb twins can float safely with guidance to access and resolve womb trauma, any kind of womb/birth memory can be worked with in this state of relaxed regression.

- Documentary: shooting a film which will showcase Womb Twin Survivor syndrome featuring a 15 yr old Vanishing Twin Survivor who bravely speaks her truth and exposes her coping journey. After 3 therapists and psychiatric hospitals failed, just 5 months of womb twin work gave her a new level of comfort in life eliminating unwanted behaviors such as eating disorders & self harm, releasing survivor guilt and allowing her to step into her Alpha power. Several other subjects have been shot and will also be featured as smaller youtube segments (coming later this year) including: a revealing conversation with a transsexual who admits she was probably a twin as she discovers the idea for the first time and we trace her history to put the clues together and a state-of-the-union chat with twin psychologist Dr. Barbara Klein, author of Alone In The Mirror among other books, in her Beverly Hills office.

- Future Podcast: developing a live podcast in conjunction with twin psychologist Dr. Barbara Klein because we believe living twins, twinless twins and womb twin survivors all have the same stuff and can all help each other. Because people can fit more than one of these categories, synergy is needed across the board.

- Womb Twin seeds were planted at the Twin Days Festival in Twinsburg, OH in August. Any volunteers for next year?

- Beginning efforts to lobby legislation to make Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome listed as a risk/side effect of ART/IVF methods

There are more things in the works to keep the healing legacy alive, for Althea lit a flame that will continually be an inferno of transformation for those who need it & find it and have the diligence to see the work through, in order to reclaim their rightful inheritance to a comfortable, happy life! Passing the work on continues the healing, so feel free to volunteer time or help with donations for research by contacting us...please help pass Althea's torch! There's so much to do...

Friday, July 24, 2015

Twinning show helps the world understand Twin Bonds, sets foundation to understand the loss of them too, hopefully

Twinning show on VH1

The VH1 premiere of “Twinning” featured a whole bunch of twins who would be separated into two separate houses, then pit against their twin in challenges to test their twin psychicness when they are separated. When the twins are told they will be separating the whole mood of the show changes…faces look shocked, worried, confused. Some cry, one almost pee’s his pants, one says she would “lose her mind” without her twin, yet another says “Without my twin I’m nothing.”

Their strong reactions to twin separation demonstrate just how difficult it is for a twin to function without their twin. Why wouldn’t this be the case for womb twin survivors who must be born without their twin? Being born is the scariest thing we will do, aside from dying, a time when the comfort of familiarity would be extra important. Add to this the biggest death trauma possible (twin loss is bigger than losing a child or a spouse or a parent), not to mention the fact that newborn babies are extremely vulnerable, and you have a recipe for disaster. This emotional disaster is the birthright of a born-alone twin.

Back to Twinning, the show ended with the twins reuniting…one twin says it’s like “the whole is put back together, it’s amazing to be together again” – and so it goes that womb twin survivors must put the wholeness back together in themselves by reclaiming both their twin and individual identities.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Preemie 1 lb baby fights for life but life without her twin will be her biggest struggle

This is a gut-wrenching story that happens more than most people realize...the journey to become healthy twins is often perilous and frought with many hurdles which keep presenting themselves as quickly as they can be overcome.
Portugal Babymoon Couple Stranded Twins Article

Despite the tremendous fight Hayden Grace is up against, living life without her twin will be worse than all of it. It may even cause her to give up the fight. Most womb twins feel they got the raw end of the deal and, if given the choice, want to be with their twin - even more than life itself.

On a more positive note, Womb Twin Survivors are super-charged with fight-or-flight adrenalin so their "survival" instinct is in full gear, and they have the power of two in them, so hopefully this is enough to overcome the psychospiritual shock which has become their birthright - not to mention the medical/biological challenges of extreme prematurity.

I too was born at six months - 3 months premature with a twin (I was 3 lbs, she was 2 lbs), spending two months in NICU without attachment bonding, way before they knew the value of touch and light therapy. It took two months for me to gain the 2 lbs needed to go home a 5 pounder and the psychological impact of this ordeal has taken years to heal. What could've been 60 days and nights of breastfed bonding to help ease my twinloss turned into 60 days of abandonment and isolation on top of my twin loss but thankfully the nurses on duty got me through.

The knowledge we have gleaned in the past half-century since my birth is a blessing which allows many more preemies to survive, we know so much more about what to do (i.e. the "rescuing hug")but our continued ignorance prevents prevention. Every day we learn more about the mistakes we make, and how to manage them, but as the world continues scratching its head about the reality of womb twin survivors, we miss chances at prevention. We need to raise awareness so that people can make informed choices about their procreative decisions. What can we do? Here are some ideas

- Talk to people in their 20's and 30's about starting families earlier - delayed conception is risky
- Lobby Government to include Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome as one of the risks factors in choosing IVF/ART and Multiple Fetal Pregnancy Reduction
- Speak out about how you, as a Womb Twin Survivor, are affected
- Volunteer at your local NICU to help cuddle preemies which are often Womb Twin Survivors, the recognition Womb Twin Survivors feel with each other can only help these little ones thrive.

Don't miss all the opportunities which exist every day for Womb Twins to raise awareness, we are walking billboards for the cause because we live with the effects everyday. Sheer persistence alone can strengthen the case that we are not making this up (which is what the world conveniently wants us to believe).

Saturday, June 20, 2015

New: Inner/Outer Womb Twin Imagery on Facebook

One of the many frustrating things about being a womb twin survivor is that our inner reality does not match our outer reality because there is no way to express our true identity as twins when there is no twin there. It's like a man who is really a female inside before sex-reassignment was possible or an obese person who is really a thin person inside before lap-band surgery - there is nothing we can do to prove to the world who we truly are, as we identify ourselves to be twins & multiples. Because WTS are born alone we are somehow supposed to be ok with this and not talk about it, while singletons have their funerals and grief ceremonies for every type of loss, including pet loss, military loss, etc. complete with outpourings of comfort and sympathy from their friends, family and workplace.

Most of the time, people don't know what to say to someone who lost a twin in-utero and usually consider the survivor wrong to be "stuck" or talking about it, surprised that someone would be affected by such an early loss, or downright judging them as crazy - resulting in behavior which is unintentionally dismissive causing the survivor to feel even more alienated and alone than they already are. This is extremely painful because twin loss is the biggest grief loss there is because it means a part of the surviving twin dies too, further, they still trade places and pick up the thoughts and feelings of their twin - even though their twin has died, so the grief is loaded with identity confusion and survivor guilt.

This lack of comfort and expression causes the grief to remain repressed resulting in a sense of turmoil and identity confusion for the survivor who does not feel "normal" and does not know how to articulate it and does not find many places to go for it. The discrepancy between their inner world and outer world widens unless proper channels are made to express the trauma and affirm & heal the ego identity of the survivor.

One tool I found useful during my healing journey was a technique called "picture letters" - my adopted twin and I would send each other letters in the mail of images torn out of magazines which we would write over in our own twin-loss language. It gave us so much joy to make the outer world match our inner world and also to know someone else saw the same things and felt the same way, we felt less alone with our thoughts and feelings and had a safe place to poke fun at our own anger and bitterness about life and the constant irony and duality we felt.

I recently decided to use Facebook the same way - to share the mental imagery of the mind of a Womb Twin Survivor with the world, in hopes that other WTS will have a-ha moments of wonder that someone sees things like they do, that they are not alone, that our condition can even be fun if we embrace it! They can also make comments back to make it an interactive experience which can be instantly gratifying because lone-twins find great comfort in seeing eye to eye with each other the way they would have with their twin.

Please friend Twindividual to view regular womb twin images on Facebook.
Thanks & don't forget to join and comment!

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Bruce Jenner: Caitlyn may not be your ticket out of Manhood

If Bruce Jenner is keeping an opposite-gender female twin alive by becoming Caitlyn - will he really be "free" once he transitions?  Sure, being a male who repressed his inner female all his life makes it seem like becoming "her" will be the solution to suddenly liberate him from the chains of identity repression, however, what if he is a womb twin survivor?

If he's a womb twin survivor, he might be happiest keeping both the male and female alive in order to live his "dream of the womb" - if so, being "her" won't be everything.  It will still be half of who he is.  He will still be a little bit male, but this time he will feel more comfortable because he will be giving "her" a turn to be the alpha.  Where will his new male beta side go?  Unless he resolves his inner womb twin conflict, even transitioning genders won't solve it.  He will still feel incomplete, like something is missing, that being Caitlyn alone cannot resolve.  

It could come crashing down on the other side, once the media spotlight settles down, that waking up as a she everyday isn't the final answer.  Then it will be too late.  Hopefully, his post-op version will give him the comfort he hopes for, if not we will be here for him ready to explain his next steps on how to heal this inner conflict no matter what gender or number of bodies he chooses to house his soul in, in order to express who he needs to be. We need to make Womb Twin Counseling part of the psychological prep gender-transition candidates undergo to ensure thorough clarity because they may need to do inner work rather than outer work. If they still choose outer work, we can help them better own their decision either way.

If there are any transgender readers out there, please share your thoughts and let us know if you have ever questioned your decision or comfort level post-transition.


Click here for more details on my theory about Bruce AND Rob Kardashian being
Womb Twin Survivors.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

CARL(A) - "Transgender" or "Bigender Womb Twin"?

The cause(s) of transgenderism are still unknown. There are currently a few suspected factors, like Genetics, but none are conclusive, among them "Biological and Environmental Factors" - like losing an opposite-gender twin in the womb, perhaps? Check out this new film on the subject and you will notice many familiar themes that Womb Twin Survivors share: dual identity, family alienation, feeling misunderstood, quest for authenticity, alpha/beta struggles, etc. In fact, one of the stars of the film, Laverne Cox, is a twin to a male, could there have been a female triplet lost that Laverne is keeping alive by being both genders?

I recently interviewed a transgender MTF, who was also at the opening of this film, who admitted she thinks this theory could be true for her, she said it could be the explanation for why, as a small boy, she dreamt of women having penises. Where would that come from at age 5 when she had no recollection of seeing such body parts on other people to know? Further examination revealed many twins in the family (genetic component confirmed) and 4 older brothers (which increases the chances for transgenderism due to Androgen exposure). Perhaps all these factors and the timing of how they were laid down caused her to be born male yet need the fluidity of both genders to feel complete. So much research is needed to confirm this theory but it seems this person has many of the known factors. Maybe science can't confirm the cause conclusively for each hunch because it's the combination of all these factors together that make a transgenderperson really a bigender person at their core who needs their outer packaging to reflect this duality, we just happen to call it transgenderism for now. To be continued...

Please donate to Womb Twin in order to support much needed research on this topic - and please support this film to raise awareness:
This link allows you to donate and gain access to view film online thru June 4th
www.carlathemovie.com

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

What is the correlation between Personality Disorders and Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome?

This question often comes up due to the common occurrence of misdiagnosis that happens for Womb Twin Survivors who are wrongly labeled/treated until they find the Womb Twin Healing Path as a solution which allows them a comfort level with living not previously achieved with other methods.

First, let’s look at the PD’s and their descriptions:

Millon's brief description of personality disorders

Paranoid

Guarded, defensive, distrustful and suspiciousness. Hypervigilant to the motives of others to undermine or do harm. Always seeking confirmatory evidence of hidden schemes. Feel righteous, but persecuted. People with paranoid personality disorder are characterized by a pattern of pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others which last for a long time. They are generally difficult to work with.

Schizoid

Apathetic, indifferent, remote, solitary, distant, humorless. Neither desire nor need human attachments. Withdrawn from relationships and prefer to be alone. Little interest in others, often seen as a loner. Minimal awareness of the feelings of themself or others. Few drives or ambitions, if any. Is an uncommon condition in which people avoid social activities and consistently shy away from interaction with others. It affects more males than females. To others, they may appear somewhat dull or humorless. Because they don't tend to show emotion, they may appear as though they don't care about what's going on around them.

Schizotypal

Eccentric, self-estranged, bizarre, absent. Exhibit peculiar mannerisms and behaviors. Think they can read thoughts of others. Preoccupied with odd daydreams and beliefs. Blur line between reality and fantasy. Magical thinking and strange beliefs. People with schizotypal personality disorder are often described as odd or eccentric and usually have few, if any, close relationships. They generally don't understand how relationships form or the impact of their behavior on others.

Antisocial

Impulsive, irresponsible, deviant, unruly. Act without due consideration. Meet social obligations only when self-serving. Disrespect societal customs, rules, and standards. See themself as free and independent. People with antisocial personality disorder depict a long pattern of disregard for other people's rights. They often cross the line and violate these rights.

Borderline

Unpredictable, manipulative, unstable. Frantically fears abandonment and isolation. Experience rapidly fluctuating moods. Shift rapidly between loving and hating. See themself and others alternatively as all-good and all-bad. Unstable and frequently changing moods. People with borderline personality disorder have a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships.

Histrionic

Dramatic, seductive, shallow, stimulus-seeking, vain. Overreact to minor events. Exhibitionistic as a means of securing attention and favors. See themself as attractive and charming. Constantly seeking others' attention. Disorder is characterized by constant attention-seeking, emotional overreaction, and suggestibility. Their tendency to over-dramatize may impair relationships and lead to depression, but they are often high-functioning.

Narcissistic

Egotistical, arrogant, grandiose, insouciant. Preoccupied with fantasies of success, beauty, or achievement. See themself as admirable and superior, and therefore entitled to special treatment. Is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings.

Avoidant

Hesitant, self-conscious, embarrassed, anxious. Tense in social situations due to fear of rejection. Plagued by constant performance anxiety. See themself as inept, inferior, or unappealing. They experience long-standing feelings of inadequacy and are very sensitive of what others think about them.

Dependent

Helpless, incompetent, submissive, immature. Withdrawn from adult responsibilities. See themself as weak or fragile. Seek constant reassurance from stronger figures. They have the need to be taken care of by a person. They fear being abandoned or separated from important people in their life.

Obsessive–compulsive

Restrained, conscientious, respectful, rigid. Maintain a rule-bound lifestyle. Adhere closely to social conventions. See the world in terms of regulations and hierarchies. See themself as devoted, reliable, efficient, and productive.

Depressive

Somber, discouraged, pessimistic, brooding, fatalistic. Present themself as vulnerable and abandoned. Feel valueless, guilty, and impotent. Judge themself as worthy only of criticism and contempt. Hopeless, Suicidal, Restless. This disorder can lead to aggressive acts and hallucinations.

Passive–aggressive (Negativistic)

Resentful, contrary, skeptical, discontented. Resist fulfilling others’ expectations. Deliberately inefficient. Vent anger indirectly by undermining others’ goals. Alternately moody and irritable, then sullen and withdrawn. Withhold emotions. Will not communicate when there is something problematic to discuss.

Sadistic

Explosively hostile, abrasive, cruel, dogmatic. Liable to sudden outbursts of rage. Gain satisfaction through dominating, intimidating and humiliating others. They are opinionated and close-minded. Enjoy performing brutal acts on others. Find pleasure is abusing others. Would likely engage in a sadomasochist relationship, but will not play the role of a masochist.

Self-defeating (Masochistic)

Deferential, pleasure-phobic, servile, blameful, self-effacing. Encourage others to take advantage of them. Deliberately defeat own achievements. Seek condemning or mistreatful partners. They are suspect of people who treat them well. Would likely engage in a sadomasochist relationship.


These descriptions read like classic Womb Twin Survivor symptoms/feelings/traits – the remarkably high incidence of similarities makes it plausible to ascertain that Personality Disorders (PDs) are clusters of womb twin phenomena previously characterized as such due to lack of Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome (WTSS) knowledge (established in 2007).

To single out one of the PD’s, Borderline Personality Disorder, its description sounds exactly like the inner life of a Womb Twin Survivor. If this were true, and they are indeed the same thing, then these Symptoms of Disorder would actually be An Appropriate Reaction to Womb Trauma related to Twin Loss. When we look at them that way, we dial-down the “crazy” aspect and dial-in the fascinating understanding of how the psyche copes with trauma, pre and post limbic.

So what are the chances these are the same thing? When we look at research, it shows that BPD does appear to be a distinct diagnostic entity, although it co-occurs frequently with other mental disorders such as major depressive and bipolar II disorders, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), substance use disorders, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and with several other personality disorders.3 Being that these are also textbook symptoms of Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome, this seems to further the case.

Going further into the correlation between the two, we must not only look at the symptoms – we must look at the cause. It is generally held that biological and environmental risk factors interact to reach a critical level of brain dysfunction resulting in symptoms of BPD. Further, it appears that this critical degree of disturbance of brain function can be achieved by a large amount of biological risk, sometimes combined with a low amount of environmental risk, or as low biological risk coupled with high environmental risk, or intermediate levels of both.

I can’t think of a bigger explanation of Biological Risk than the pre-natal loss of a twin and the grief trauma suffered by the surviving twin, who may also have suffered Environmental Risk factors in utero.

It makes sense that a twin without a twin, who has nowhere to put their twin identity or express the unknown trauma their body memory holds, would show up with a label like

Multiple Personality Disorder because they are truly more than one person, who lost a twin or multiple in the womb. Unaware singletons in charge of writing diagnostic codes and ordering courses of treatment can only do their best, but unfortunately it’s not enough given the twin/multiple epidemic we are facing… which brings us to the the real issue: there aren’t enough practitoners in the know about pre-natal psychology and Womb Twin Healing.

According to Theodore Millon, Ph.D., D.Sc. "PDs's are inflexible and pervasive due to the fact that such behavior may be ego-syntonic (i.e. the patterns are consistent with the ego integrity of the individual). This behavior can result in maladaptive coping skills, which may lead to personal problems that induce anxiety, distress or depression". I would like to put forth the question: What if the ego-integrity of the individual is already compromised/damaged at birth due to womb twin loss, resulting in anxiety, distress, depression which is then exacerbated as life continues without acknowledgement or remedy? Are we sure we are putting the right horse before the right cart?

It’s my belief we can use Womb Twin healing techniques to get to the cause of the problem for many sufferers of PD’s who are wrongly labeled and mistreated because they are being misdiagnosed due to lack of a better explanation – until now. Perhaps not all of them are WT’s, but based on my research and work in the field, I would guess many of these people are Womb Twin Survivors who don’t know they are.

The quickest way to confirm the relationship between WTSS and PD’s would be to treat these personality orders with the Womb Twin Healing Path, preferably without traditional medicine/psychotherapeutic approaches, in order to assess whether symptoms are alleviated. If lessening or diminishment of symptoms is achieved, then we can prove a relationship exists between WTS and PD’s and perhaps help people alleviate these symptoms, which may really just be manifestations of keeping their ‘dream of the womb’ alive (as well as expressing their twin nature, who uses these devices to make itself known until we can know it consciously).

With open minds, we can see these symptoms as an innocent reaction, which need acknowledgment and release - rather than a label or disease to be medicated or institutionalized. We can go beyond asking What If? to What Now? and strive to provide proper treatment. The proof of the correlation will be in the healing and of course, this work may need to augment some traditional approaches in some cases, but at this writing too much research and support is needed to crack the true answer to this question, even though we probably already have the answer.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Bruce Jenner's Gender isn't such a Bender when seen through a Womb Twin Lens

This evening is Bruce Jenner’s big reveal to the world about his upcoming Gender Reassignment Surgery on ABC. While the world awaits a mysterious explanation about this surprising and personal choice, I would like to offer a possible explanation in advance, one which perhaps not even Bruce has considered about himself.

Seen through a womb-twin lens, I can intuit exactly what’s going on for Bruce, as well as Rob Kardashian. I can offer a theory as to why their relationship is strained now that Rob is clearly against this gender change while all his other siblings endorse it and support Bruce.

I believe they are both Womb Twin Survivors! And this is what makes them similar yet at odds, perhaps a subconscious competition between them. I believe Bruce had a female twin in the womb (most likely, 2 identicals - making him a triplet) and Rob had a male twin in the womb (most likely identical). Here’s my guess:

If Bruce is a male to 2 twin identical females, he would’ve been alone in his own sac. Could this be why it felt natural for him to create an off-site residence for only him, separate from the girls nearby? When his twins disappeared, he needed to keep their feminine energy alive inside him, but being an alpha male athlete he couldn’t admit that. So instead he finds fulfillment in marrying a woman who has lots of girl children, their union producing twin daughters. He would’ve felt natural to be around all that feminine energy but also left-out in his maleness (matching his womb dynamic). Could it be that seeing his twin daughters bond and come of age triggered an internal jealousy & sadness in Bruce, which, when combined with his switch from alpha male to beta male (thanks to his wife Kris being all business) was too much for his psyche to endure? The isolation/abandonment he felt could have caused him to fall deep into his black hole of needing his twin and all the identity and gender confusion which comes with it, needing to feel close to the girls inside him.

With no awareness that such a complex exists within him, his goal would be to remedy his sadness & confusion by keeping his dream of the womb alive - indeed, surpassing it - and trading places with his girl twin who was closest to him in the next sac. That would alleviate survivor guilt and merge him with his twin, heaven! If there was another identical, perhaps, more distant to Bruce, but closer to the other female, he could have picked up her desire to be with her twin and it would come out as him becoming a ‘she who is close to another she’ - the perfect amalgamation to recapture his original womb story. He wants to become a woman who is a lesbian, that way his maleness will be diminished (eliminating survivor guilt) and he’ll be reunited, actually merged, with the girls who are such a part of him. The alternative is so painful, he will suffer public humiliation in order to get his twin/triplet fix.

Then there’s Rob, the only Kardashian son, who has been depressed, isolated from the family and less successful than the rest. All typical womb twin traits. Poor Rob seems to have fallen deep into his black hole and no amount of money or fame can get him out of it. I believe Rob lost a male twin, likely identical - he and his father would’ve been the ‘two boys’ among all those girls, until his father died rendering Rob abandoned and grief stricken again. As all the girls around him rose to alpha fame, Rob slipped further into his black hole beta-space, becoming invisible.

The girls attempts to rescue him (with career, dieting and well-being help) made it worse because he wasn’t meant to merge with females, he was looking for his male counterpart to rescue/be rescued by…but he was outnumbered and overshadowed and the only male. Could his weight gain be contributed to this need to increase the number of males in the family, or be a way to show the world there are two of him by doubling in size? Yo-yo dieting and the media-spotlit alpha/beta struggle would only exacerbate his depression in this endless cycle of failure. Being elevated to alpha fame didn’t match his womb story, so he may have subconsciously decided to stay stuck keeping his dream of the womb alive, looking for his male counterpart. As his sisters brought male suitors into the family, he may have bonded with them as twin replacements, particularly Lamar Odom - this is when Rob seemed happy and strong enough to launch his own business, until Lamar too disappeared sending Rob into weight gain/isolation mode. Now, the only male left in the family, his step-dad Bruce, has decided to change gender from male to female, committing yet another familiar betrayal - leaving Rob alone with all those girls and no male twin replacement. No wonder he is the only child who does not support Bruce’s decision.

These behaviors are perfectly explainable and logical when seen through a womb twin lens, they may be nothing more than an appropriate reaction to a series of prior in-utero events which look very odd & confusing without knowledge and belief in the everyday life of a womb twin survivor.

Now let’s tune in to hear what Bruce has to say about all this!….

Thursday, April 23, 2015

"Evil Twin" found in Woman's Brain - Admission that Teratoma is an Embryonic Twin

It's nice when they admit a teratoma is an absorbed twin. will Yamini feel the loss of her twin now that they have been separated via surgery, despite never knowing about her twin before?  We are here for you if you need us Yamini!

http://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/Embryonic-Twin-Discovered-in-Womans-Brain-During-Surgery-300891281.html

Monday, March 2, 2015

The world is getting better at acknowledging Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome

The world is acknowledging more and more that womb twin loss is a thing and has an impact - for years this point was missed or questioned & not easily believed, which has been extremely frustrating for Womb Twin Survivors whose lives are affected everyday. Not finding widespread help only compounds this feeling of isolation, given that we live in a cause-curated world. The tides are changing now that the masses can no longer look the other way due to headlines such as these:

http://www.parents.com/blogs/baby/2015/02/10/news/these-remarkable-babies-were-born-without-their-twins/?utm_source=scarymommy.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange

Sunday, March 1, 2015

The Unborn Ultimatum

This brand of humor speaks for itself, but it is interesting that the mass psyche is starting to wrap its head around intrauterine rights and twin absorption as seen in this skit about FETUS LAWYERS:

http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/ouq3mw/the-unborn-ultimatum

Rare birth: Born inside Amniotic Sac

This baby was born inside its amniotic sac three months premature...could he be a womb twin survivor?

http://www.cnn.com/2015/02/25/health/rare-en-caul-birth-amniontic-sac/index.html

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Twins Reunited on Facebook

Now that Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome is on the scene, I wonder of these twins would've diagnosed themselves with it....before finding their lost twin on Facebook. Instead, they get to live their true twin identity through a fairy tale ending which womb twin survivors will never experience..what a happy story!

http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/12/living/separated-at-birth-reunited-on-facebook-parents/index.html?hpt=us_t5

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The Twin Bond Remains..no matter what life brings or doesn't bring

A new film about the bond of twins separated and reunited, although they are growing up in different countries it will be a huge relief for them to know the other exists and to understand their twin identity. See NY Times Article "Twin Sisters from China Stay in Touch"

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/20/arts/twin-sisters-from-china-stay-in-touch.html?_r=1

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Womb Twin Is Alive and Flourishing!

With Althea's passing, it is important we all recognize the significance of carrying on her work so that future Womb Twin Survivors get the help she worked so hard to make available. While this marks the end of Althea's active participation, it is by no means an end, nor is it a slowing down, instead it heralds a new chapter to take her work forward based on seven years of refining and effectiveness so that her legacy can be realized and utilized - particularly since the in vitro/selective reduction babies are coming of age. So here's what's next:

- Womb Twin as a non-profit organization is alive and well in St Albans, UK with Celeste Hardingham as Chairman, appointed by Althea.

- Womb Twin will continue indefinitely as an administration with a board of directors, however, it relies on donations so we need help with fundraising. Write a letter of request to 20 people with the womb twin donation link (from website) so that they can make direct donations. It's that simple and you never know until you ask! Remember, We no longer have Althea's efforts to populate the donation pool, so all hands on deck!

- Wren Publications will be administered by Philip Hayton, Althea's son. What a blessing to have his help managing Althea's vast world of books which she published herself out of her determination to help womb twin survivors get the material they need, and which is available nowhere else.

- Monica Hudson is actively practicing the healing techniques taught to her by Althea from New York with new and existing womb twin survivors all over the world (in person & skype). Her Twindividual/Twindr initiatives are still in progress and will soon be launched as the next evolution of the womb twin work.

- Keep Spreading the word about this syndrome and Womb Twin organization in order to raise awareness, so that those who need help can get it, and hopefully to help prevent future cases.

-Expand the work in guiding Therapists, which was Althea's last effort "Ripples from the Womb" yet which was only the beginning of a much-needed way to bridge traditional therapy with the special needs of this under-the-radar population. In other words, if those who need help don't seek us out, we can at least prepare therapists to identify and then treat womb twin survivors.

Onward and Upward, it's time to reciprocate Althea for her generosity of spirit and pay her work forward into the world now...

Sunday, August 31, 2014

A dance for Althea on August 28, 2014

As requested by the Goddess of All Things Womb Twin, here is a special dance for Althea, may she rest in peace. At the time of her passing, I was in New York sharing her Healing Path with a new recruit - Nicholas is a young dancer who will benefit from finding this work early in his life. She would've liked that. Since I sadly couldn't attend her burial on Thursday, we chose to honor her spirit with the dance of life from Fifth Avenue. The ripple effect of your dance is alive and well, Althea!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Dance for Althea on Thurs August 28th

Our beloved Althea, will be laid to rest on Thursday in the UK, her burial will be well attended by her family, church and community. She asked for donations to be given ALS (isn't it just like her to pick a disease that is trending via Ice Bucket Challanges?) but isn't that also just like her to ask for something unselfish to the cause she worked so hard to make into a non-profit organization serving what turned out to be roughly 3000 womb twin survivors of which 1000 have proof. The truth is, Womb Twin needs donations more than ever, without her. So please give to one or both in Althea's memory. The other request Althea made, was that there be dancing. So, everyone in the USA, please do a dance for Althea when you wake up in the morning!

The need for her work in the world is invaluable to those who need it. Here is a letter from a womb twin on the East Coast which really sums it up:

I came to know Althea and the Wombtwin Community at one of the lowest points of my life. It was about 10 days after I had made a very serious suicide attempt. Somehow I survived and was placed in a mental hospital for about a week. They wanted me to stay longer, but it was almost Christmas Day and I wanted to go home.

A few days later, I happened to be on the internet and in the search bar I keyed in the words "I had a twin who disappeared" and it was like I rubbed the magic lamp, because immediately a plethora of things came up, most of them titled "Wombtwin Survivors". Wow!! I had never heard of that term before. For at least 50 years, I had felt like I should have been a twin, always felt the presence of another little girl, I had all the earmarks of a twin. I had been hospitalized in mental hospitals on and off my entire life. A lot of psychiatrists thought I had multiple personality disorder, I was delusional, etc. Nobody could tell me anything definite.

That was until December 30, 2008. That was the day the biggest light in the universe came on, and I found Althea and the world of Wombtwins. I wasn't alone! I wasn't delusional! I was part of a big, beautiful family all over the world.

Thank you, Althea, and God Bless you in heaven for showing all of us the way. I will be eternally grateful to you. Love Always, Kate

This is just one example of how Althea gave so much to others with her generous spirit, now go be still and rest in peace knowing you have given us a place to understand ourselves and learn how to do our dance.

Besides - If we don't Do Our Dance, who will?

Friday, August 15, 2014

Althea Hayton, founder of Womb Twin, leaves rich legacy

With great sadness, let it be known that pioneer and "Goddess of All Things Womb Twin" as I liked to call her, Althea Hayton, has left our little world for the great beyond. She passed peacefully with loved ones, succumbing to ALS on Wednesday. Though this loss will be felt surely by all who ever came into contact with her, the impact of this loss long term cannot be measured. The progress she made to identify and treat a condition so off the radar, has not only saved and improved lives directly but has radically transformed everything we know about humanity. She did so much in the past seven years to establish this syndrome and its healing path, this leaves much for us to build on for an idea whose time has not yet come but is getting nearer. As the person who received the most guidance & mentoring from her, both personally and as a practitioner of her work, I shall endeavor to pass on the knowledge to keep the spark alive and to do the work, raise awareness, and continue to make Althea proud by helping people with her wisdom. It's up to all of us now to make Althea proud given the rich legacy she has left us and we know too much now to ever turn back... Farewell, Althea, Let us pray that you are at Peace with your womb twin, Ben, together again at last! Love & Blessings from Monica Hudson,Womb Twin USA
Althea Hayton, March 2014, at the womb twin capital of the world - the white structure is her Conservatory where many powerful breakthroughs occurred.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

It All Originates From The Womb

Whether you are a living twin, a twinless twin or a womb twin survivor, your in-utero relationships gave you an awareness singletons don't have. These early imprints created dynamics that play out in relationships, which can be harnessed & healed, when made conscious. Many people find it hard to believe early loss of a twin or multiple in the womb can affect someone. In my experience of working with many twinless twins and womb twin survivors - of all genders, zygosities, ages - the earlier the loss, the deeper the trauma. That being said, let us be grateful that the twinless twins mentioned in this article, got to be born and have a relationship with their twin. Each sacred day, hour, moment they had together was a cherished gift before it all changed forever...

https://abcnews.go.com/Health/twinless-twins-grieve/story?id=24780120

Monday, July 14, 2014

NEW: Guidance for Therapists working with Womb Twin Survivors

-New for Therapists- Therapists working with womb twin survivors now have their own forum (http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=4bdd13e87f&e=e27d2206b5) where they can discover the latest in healing techniques & developments and connect with other therapists who're working with this population. It's free to join (http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=0486be993a&e=e27d2206b5) ! Althea Hayton's introductory book for therapists has just been released on Amazon, it's called "Ripples from the Womb" - the ebook is free here (http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=13a2a3d26b&e=e27d2206b5) . (At the landing page, hover over the "books" link; click "ebooks" and scroll down to the image below.)

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Morbid Anatomy Museum - a new showcase for Womb Twin specimens opens in Brooklyn

The world is starting to catch on .... step right up! Those two-headed creatures are conjoined twins, people!! http://www.newsweek.com/morbid-anatomy-museum-opens-brooklyn-256709

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Proof of Intra-Uterine Bonding: Twins Hold Hands after birth

These Monoamniotic twins shared the same sac before they were separated by birth and then quickly reconnected by holding hands outside the womb! Such a miracle they both made it, imagine if one hadn't and the other wanted to hold it's hand? This is the reality for womb twin survivors every day...

Thursday, April 17, 2014

News acknowledges Baby born with extra limbs has a headless twin!

Wishing this little baby strength as his twin is removed from his body...kudos to Huff Post for acknowledging that this is a twin. http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/archive/segment/baby-born-with-4-feet-4-hands/534fee2078c90a6ea600026f

Sunday, April 6, 2014

A Hearing Miracle and Womb Twin Loss

Because our earliest sensory ability to develop is hearing, even those who lost a twin in the womb very early will have sensed their twin thru their ears and skin, before they even have a heart or brain. The perception of sounds of blood, fluid, movement, and later heartbeats (twins/multiples, mother) are where the primary relationships begin. When a twin dies at this stage it can be such a shock to the surviving twin they become deaf as a way to shut down this channel of communication. Sometimes deafness occurs on the side where the twin was positioned in relation to the survivor. One day I was approached by a living identical twin who had mild separation anxiety about his twin, which the other twin didn't seem to have, and on this particular day he seemed to be having a bit of an existential crisis so we went to his safe place in the park and sat under a tree. He was mourning who they would have been if their egg hadn't split and they had remained one omnipotent human being! This was an unusual sense of loss for a living twin so we did some work to discover there had been another one, a triplet male, who he had been closer to. We arranged leaves in a pattern on the grass to resemble where each was positioned in the womb and identified that this was behind his crisis, he went back to work feeling better. Over the next couple days a miracle happened via technology and this person, who had always been deaf in his right ear, was suddenly able to hear with the help of Google Glass. Please read the incredible story (featured with his permission) here: http://www.fastcompany.com/3015749/voices-in-your-head-how-google-glass-lets-a-half-deaf-person-hear It is worth considering that by acknowledging the loss of this third one, just before his Google Glass experience, something moved him closer to hearing so that when the opportunity presented itself his defenses could allow this moment of hearing in. Or perhaps allowed him a happy rather than painful experience at the very least. When we release the repressed pain, it gives us new energy to make new possibilities in our lives. And this story continues to have a happy ending and new beginning…Congrats to David on his recent move to San Francisco. He has purchased 6 womb twin paintings to take with him as he thrives far away from his East Coast twin.

Althea's Last Wish: Therapist Training

Before Womb Twin founder Althea Hayton retires, she has one last wish on her list: to write an e-book for therapists to train them in womb twin syndrome healing techniques. To this end, a core group was assembled in the UK recently for a 3-day brainstorming session which will help in the development of the training guide. The group consisted of representatives from the US, the UK, Ireland, Canada and Germany. In learning about how far ahead of the US Europe is about embracing this epidemic and doing something about it was a real eye opener to me as the leader of this work in the US. We need more awareness and more solutions and support but we also need to systematically create a training format that can be rolled out to therapists as they see more cases in their practice who need this specialized care. There is lots of work to be done. Voluneteers are welcome!

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Hey Womb Twin Survivors - Help Us Help You!

Please Give us your feedback! Do you have an opinion (good or bad) or suggestion about womb twin healing and techniques? Have you completed the womb twin healing path? If not, why? If yes, share more! Do you have an idea about womb twin healing that hasn't been thought of yet? Please send your feedback to twindividual1@gmail.com quickly, as this feedback could be helpful in the development of a womb twin training path for therapists. Deadline: March 15 2014 Thank you all, Monica

Sunday, February 23, 2014

How to Help Very Young Womb Twin Survivors? Thank You for Asking!

To Womb Twin US - Monica,

My husband and I have two sons, a 3 year old and a 19 month old. Our youngest is a twin, and unfortunately we lost his brother 6 months into the pregnancy.

I have often wondered if the difficulties he is facing is linked to losing his brother. After today and reading blogs and information, I am almost sure of it.

For the most part he is a happy and healthy child. He laughs and runs and does everything little boys do. He isn't saying as many words as the "typical" child his age, but I am not worried as I know he understands a lot.

The "problems" are with his sleep and moods on some days. He will not fall asleep without me next to him. There have been times he has taken a nap on his own, but that is rare. He has now dropped his nap altogether. He still wakes up every 2-3 hours at night, and cannot sooth himself back to sleep. It takes me laying with him again to get him to go back to sleep. Frequently he wakes up screaming and is hard to sooth.

He is also very attached to me. Which is fine. But he wants to be held all day long or be right next to me. He will go off and explore around the house, or play with his brother, or play on his own, but it seems like he "checks in" with me a lot more frequently and intensely than his brother did.

I know he is only 19 months old. I know he can't go to therapy. But I was wondering if you had any advice or knew of anything I could do to help him.

Anything you can provide or any direction you can point me in would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much,

WTS Mom
---------

Dear WTS Mom,

First of all, let me say that being the kind of Mother you are to research this is validating to your son and to us all. In fact, it heralds a new day for WTS (womb twin survivors) and their families everywhere. For you to have the inquisitiveness and courage to ask what you can do to help your son, regardless of your own feelings about this loss, is hugely rare and I can’t thank you enough for contacting us.

Baby WTS are in extreme twin replacement mode. In order to manage the shock of living on earth without their twin, mother becomes “m(ain)other” as do the primary relationships in succession of their twin. The pain of loss is buried in adapting to making these relations their twin since that’s all they know. They are here so they must cling to survival but they have already learned it is a perilous journey and people cannot be trusted because they disappear and cause pain in ways too big for a tiny baby to navigate.

Toddlers get worn out with separation anxiety, checking to make sure the world is reliable. Trust and consistency are huge in a world where things come and go without saying goodbye. Where mastery of the universe is hard-won but empty without their twin. Incessant crying and irritability, seeking mom out, unable to self soothe are all signs that a WTS needs assurance that the people with whom they are bonding, won’t disappear forever. They are frustrated with good reason, they are vulnerable, insecure and limited and must cling to life. They often feel their twin got the better end of the deal as they learn to navigate solo. They need constant assurance that they will be ok, others will be ok, life is ok.

Sleep becomes a regressive womb time when babies can feel the watery world of their twin memory, not bound by air, time or light or people who aren’t their twin. This regression to their true nature is important for their replenishment as they sleep, it soothes them from the shock of living solo. On the other hand, this can be the time when PTSD-charged memories are accessed – where the baby relives the unspeakable horror they experienced during, and following, the demise of their twin. Depending on when and how this happened, all details will shape the complex which continually gets laid down as the brain develops, since much of the original trauma is stored in body memory due to timing of the trauma against limbic embryonic development. Your son was already 6 months a twin before they were separated (to put this in perspective, I was born at 6 months and am a fully functioning person developmentally.) The key is to download it into the brain as it develops, so that it can be expressed and healed, rather than repressed and buried. What you resist persists, ignoring it won’t make it go away, it will most likely make it worse.

Thus begins a lifetime of synchronistic extreme duality, which is also an expression of his twoness.

Although nighttime/dreamtime is synonymous with the subconscious, and can be scary for all little ones learning to be conscious, it sounds as though your son may have lost his twin at night and may be waking up in terror at that time for this reason. The realization that he is alone while suffering the PTSD loss of his twin causes him to need a twin replacement and mother more than normal. You are doing the right thing by being this "twin surrogate" and bless you for having the courage to face this in light of the fact that you suffered the loss of a child and have your own grief process. On that note, any info you can share about how the twin went at 6 mos would be helpful in understanding the dynamics of the womb imprint. I strongly encourage you to stick it out – you must walk through the flames to get to the other side, not around them. Avoidance, ignorance, separation only adds fuel to the fire. Meanwhile here are some tips:

-Give in to being the twin replacement as much possible, in order to ease his transition to trusting relationships again. Play peek-a-boo games to remind him that people disappear but come back smiling.

-Leave your scented scarf in his crib at night to ease the pain of sleeping alone. Sleep with him as needed (no Ferber Method) knowing this is a surrogate bonding time that helps your son, which you both will outgrow when it’s right for you.

-Teach boundaries, yes, by all means this is crucial to WTS who have little/none, but give in to them without beating yourself up for it. WTS need constant duality as an expression of their twin nature, so don’t feel hypocritical, tune in to their flip-flop game so you can honor their alpha/beta duality and not get worn out in confusion.

-Give him several twin replacements so that he learns to rely on more than one, this will give you a break and allow you both to transition from each other – it also provides an all-important back up if one gets lost. On that note, whatever symbols you use as twin replacements should be replaceable, this means buy several and store them away so that if ever one is lost there is another to avoid retriggering the trauma of loss.

-Allow your son to put his favorite stuffed animal into a pillowcase (or cover it with a laundry basket) and then reveal it, this control over such events will go a long way in helping him feel secure following the uncontrollable disappearance of his twin.

-Use the power of symbol over words and engage all senses: sight, sound, smell, space. Recognize his hypersensitivity and brilliance.

-Use aromatherapy: lavender and marjoram in baths, in room at night, will calm his separation anxiety and promote sleep.

-Recognize your own grief/loss and keep it separate from his; when appropriate, bring it together with his so that he isn’t alone with his loss.

-Elicit info about his womb story while it’s fresh, figuring out the dynamics of the intrauterine imprint will help us help him. Talk about what you remember of his twin too, commiserating may seem like bringing up pain but it has the opposite effect to a WTS who always feels pain, it helps them feel less alone with it which is a huge comfort when being alone is the problem to begin with. Identifying details that will help guide his course of treatment: was his twin identical or fraternal? male or female? how did his twin perish? how long was the twin in distress? what name shall be given to this lost twin? birth details? premature/nicu/incubator? (provide timing) IVF/ART? other complications/circumstances?

-Be the vehicle of expression for the unspeakable, encourage him to talk thru you and then speak very matter of factly about his twin, the WTS energy and verbal reactions will guide you and you will be amazed at what he knows.

-Read “Two Little Birds” and “Koko’s Magical Gift” to your son, it will go a long way toward bridging his inner and outer realities. See more age appropriate info and resources by going to Womb Twin Kids: http://www.wombtwin.com/womb-twin-kids/4578498382

-Read the work of Allesandra Piontelli. John Bowlby’s work on Attachment & Loss, Louise Kaplan Oneness to Separateness: From Infant to Individual. Consider contacting Claudia Pinheiro of Womb Twin Portugal, she has extensive knowledge about working with babies and is a WTS as well as the mother of a WTS.

What you are already doing for your son is on track and beyond what any of us could hope for. Thank you for this tremendous gift. I look forward to advising you as your little WTS grows, so do keep us posted. This work can begin at any age, in fact it already has so let’s keep our blinders off as we walk the road of preventative healing together.

Please feel free to share more about your son and how these techniques may have worked for you both.


Monica - Womb Twin US

Friday, January 24, 2014

A Play on Words from a Twin/WTS

I just received this poignant little play on punctuation & spacing from an identical twin who is also a womb twin survivor triplet: I CAN'T WIN - I CAN, TWIN This sums up the journey of how self-sabotage robs womb twin survivors of their life until they reclaim their inner twin so that they can live truthfully and become strong enough to win the individuality game! Bravo & Thanks David!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Womb Twin Healing and Therapy - Althea's Final Project

It is clear that womb twin survivors need appropriate and specialist help from any therapist they may seek out for help. Some womb twin survivors spend a great deal of money on therapies that don't help with therapists who don't understand. As her last task on behalf of the womb twin survivors project, Althea is putting together a PDF ebook, which will provide a simple set of healing steps which every womb twin survivor must make, regardless of the way their twin (or other womb mates) died and regardless of the kind of therapy that is being employed to help them. As a reader of this page, you are probably a womb twin survivor yourself, and have probably tried some forms of therapy which have helped to a certain extent. You may also be some kind of therapist yourself, or at least have some ideas about how therapy should be delivered to womb twin survivors as a distinct group. Whatever your experiences and opinions, Althea would like to hear them. Here is a form to enable you to do this: http://form.jotformeu.com/form/40043942563350

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy New Year! twindr.com is coming in 2014!

Dear Womb Twin Survivors, I'm excited to announce that a new healing portal called twindr.com will soon be available to Womb Twin Survivors who want to connect, heal and share their process interactively online. Harnessing technology, this new modality will provide a tool for Womb Twin Survivors to be guided along the healing path, with a rating scale of the techniques so they can be measured for effectiveness, and a place for expression which documents healing journeys. It’s like a personal scrapbook of transformation which continually helps others on the path and reserves your spot in Womb Twin History! Here are the preliminary details: Site name: twindr.com ~where former twins and multiples connect and heal~ • 12 Healing Steps will be presented via video featuring proven techniques presented by Monica Hudson based on Althea Hayton's Steps to Healing • Members will document & share their personal healing process for each step via posting of text/photos/video • Members will give each step an effectiveness rating upon completion at their own pace • Upon finishing the 12 steps, members graduate to Twindividual status What is a Twindividual? A former twin/multiple who has healed the grief of their in-utero/post-birth loss and reclaimed their life as an individual who will always be a twin at their core. Twindividuals can stay in the community via continued interaction providing guidance to help other Womb Twin Survivors become Twindividuals Other features include: • Question of the Month - with answer board • Discussion Topics Board - click to connect on specific issues organized by topic which are of interest to Womb Twin Survivors • Resources – Find practioners around the world who are adept at understanding/treating our special needs Here you will interact/share/post and see/read what others around the world are doing along the healing path! (don’t worry - this is a private community, the general public won’t have access) You Can Heal! You Can Reclaim Your Life! You can go at your own pace! You Can Heal Others! Our natural selflessness and shared experience make us the best candidates to help ourselves and each other so let’s stop wasting time waiting for the world to get it and do what we can, it really is up to us! The target date is Feb 2014 of the initial test program which will be offered to 25 people before becoming widely available. If you are interested, please sign up immediately to secure your place by sending your responses to the MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION questions below to twindr.com@gmail.com. If you are not interested in twindr.com but would like to be added to my contact list, please email me! As the only healer in the world trained directly by Althea Hayton (who has just retired as Chairman) I am keen to build my own database so please do send me a quick email so I know how to reach all you magical and amazing Womb Twins. Meanwhile, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask. Happy New Year! Monica Hudson twindr.com@gmail.com 347 683 4063 *** MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION*** Make history by applying for the first on-line interactive healing portal for womb twin survivors created by Monica Hudson based on Althea Hayton’s Healing Steps. Don’t delay – space is limited! NAME / EMAIL ADDRESS / CITY/STATE/COUNTRY / GENDER M _ F _ OTHER _ / YOUR WOMB MATES: # SUSPECTED # CONFIRMED NOT SURE (?) / TWIN _ TRIPLET _ QUADRUPLET _ + _ ADDITIONAL INFO ABOUT ME: WHY YOU ARE A GOOD CANDIDATE TO JOIN THE TWINDR HEALING COMMUNITY: HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT TWINDR? I acknowledge that my membership in Twindr.com is not guaranteed and will be confirmed via email. Once confirmed, I understand my membership is completely voluntary and I am free to revoke membership at my own will at any time and twindr.com may revoke my membership at any time. When membership is granted, I will do my best to complete the healing program at my own pace and contribute as an active member of this community. *PLEASE EMAIL YOUR ANSWERS TO TWINDR.COM@GMAIL.COM ASAP TO RESERVE YOUR SPACE – THE FIRST 25 APPLICANTS WHO QUALIFY WILL BEGIN THE TEST ROLL OUT FEB 2014. ONCE TESTED, TWINDR.COM WILL BE WIDELY AVAILABLE AT A LATER DATE TBD* (apologies for the lack of spacing, it's typical that our blog even has separation anxiety!)

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Celebrate Womb Twin Day Today!

Today is international Womb Twin Day - a day of remembrance in honor of our lost twins who didn't make it to this world. This day was chosen because it is also Winter Solstice, the darkest day before the light. I know that I didn't even know how dark my world was until I found this work, healed, and got to the light...so it is a very fitting day to symbolize our journey. This month also marks a notable time in Womb Twin history with the announcement of Althea Hayton's retirement. Our fearless leader is moving out of her role as Chairman of Womb Twin, so her passage also signifies transition...how can we make this time of darkness a time of light and hope for our community? We all need to step up and be the champions and leaders of this cause, it's up to us now and let us be grateful that we found this path at a time when Althea was so available to us. THANK YOU ALTHEA, we will forever be grateful to you for your genius to think of this, your dedication and courage to see it through and your love, caring support and supreme generosity of spirit. We got Althea's spark and now it's up to us to go light fires in the world and not let the embers die out. Don't let all her hard work fade at a time when more womb twins in need are coming to fruition every day. To do my part, as the only healer in the world trained under Althea's supervision, I realize I can't do it alone so I have decided to harness technology to create a healing portal to allow womb twins all over the world to heal themselves and each other. Twindr.com will be rolled out in early 2014 so if you're interested in joining please email me your contact info at moniglam@gmail.com. More info to come soon. This year I feel so far down the healing path that I don't feel any particular rituals are needed, I remember my womb twins in my heart all the time. And my twin appears in the form of pennies, though not as often anymore because I've healed, but last night there were two on the subway platform where I stood, she included one for her identical twin she lost (we were fraternals who each absorbed identicals very early) so that was her way to tell me she was celebrating womb twin day too! I am celebrating womb twin day today, me and my twins' birthday tomorrow, my twin's death the following day so that takes me right to Christmas Eve and Christmas. But my holidays will be spent working on Twindr.com because I'm so inspired to get it going, particularly after a an amazing session this week with a new womb twin survivor from Texas who found in this work the miracle he prayed for and that makes it all worthwhile. Happy Holidays starting with Womb Twin Day!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Twin Visitations

We all have the sense somehow or other that our departed twins are around us. Lately I’ve been hearing a lot about womb twin survivors and twinless twins having dreams featuring their twin where the feelings are so real it is as though they really did experience the content of the dream. They remember vividly having contact with their twin and they wake up with chilling, overwhelming feeling that they actually visited with their twin. One dream involved a womb twin survivor being told by an authority figure that the holographic image on the screen was indeed her twin, that her twin was real and this person should never listen to anyone who says any different. How validating! (this dream was had after achieving peace from the womb twin healing path, following years of misdiagnoses and mistreatment including hospitalization and shock treatments) Another dream had by a twinless twin ten years after the death of her identical twin was so real, her twin whispered into her ear “Pray for me because I can’t” She woke up feeling the dream was so real, her twin was pleading with her to be her vehicle because she no longer had a body. (Coincidentally, several years ago this same person reported receiving her twins' memories after she died. Meaning, she'd be doing dishes then suddenly recall going down the stairs to talk to her daughter, only she was in her twins' body having a conversation with her niece as if she'd had it herself. She distinctly felt as though she were reliving a memory of her twins, of which she never actually experienced herself until now). I once had a similar experience of twin visitation while I was awake. Suddenly, I could feel my twin next to me, to my left, for the first time ever. I turned to face her and could feel her spirit face to face with mine. It was so overwhelming, intimidating, omnipotent that I gasped with tears in my eyes while trying to stay present to experience this precious moment I had yearned for and remembered from the womb. It was a quick moment of visitation which only happened once and I know with every cell of my being that it was the presence of my twin who died at birth. These are not twin fantasies of wanting to be together, these are episodes where the distinct energy of the lost being is sensed by the surviving twin, and a new experience happens in the here and now. Another phenomena happens where you play out your twin/womb story via dreams symbolically. In these, the twin can show up in many forms so you cannot be too literal and must sense the energy behind the symbol. In other words, your twin may show up in a various guises (which can morph) but you know it’s them, it’s just the packaging they choose to communicate to you what is needed. And it’s not just our womb mates that visit for night time dreams, it’s the dynamics of our womb story. For months I have had travel dreams where I’m with 1, 2 or 3 people (I’m a quadruplet survivor so this resort is our womb story) and I’m always forgetting that breakfast is included! Every night for months I dreamt I was in this hotel reminding myself to get the free breakfast or on checking out I regret I never had the breakfast. In reality, I have a hard time eating breakfast and I feel it is an imprint from my mother/womb/birth that I have struggled with for years to understand. The only conclusion I have arrived at just now in the process of writing this piece, has finally made the dreams go away and it is because I became aware of this: my mother’s breakfast growing up was a cigarette, cup of instant coffee and glazed donut. This probably jeopardized our accidental/unknown pregnancy in the beginning which may have caused the demise of my twin (as well as the two we lost very early) thus I dream for both of us: my needing to remind myself to eat breakfast as a living person on earth, and her regret that she didn’t get any breakfast but must leave without it. The breakfast dreams stopped but I am still traveling, sometimes to the same place, in my dreams - this time me + 1 stay and 2 others go (mirroring my womb story of me +1 born, 2 lost early). More womb visits to remember... If you have any twin visitations to share, please email to moniglam@gmail.com

Friday, October 4, 2013

Portraits of "Lost Twin Souls" on view at MRY in NYC's Flatiron District

There is a partial exhibition of womb twin paintings on view in NYC. Paintings are for sale and 10% will be donated to Womb Twin research. Artist Statement “These portraits of lost twin souls channeled through me onto each canvas. I became a conduit through which the unique energy of lost twins who never made it to our world flowed, rebirthing themselves into abstract/ethereal forms - via oil paint, mineral 'spirits' and glitter. Each portrait has its own personality which informed my choice of color, shape, layering, manipulation and completion. Since many lost womb twins go undetected, these paintings almost serve as family portraits belonging to any of us. The simultaneous use of oil paint and paint remover imparts into the work the duality of existing and not existing, much like the life of a womb twin survivor”. Could one of these portraits be of your twin? -Monica Hudson 347 683 4063 MRY 11 W. 19 Street / 3rd Floor

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Ideas to Help Ourselves

Today is an exciting day in NYC, I'm presenting a world-changing idea which harnesses social technology to join Womb Twin Survivors and Twinless Twins together in real time, so we can help each other Diagnose, Cope, Heal and Help Others. Wish me luck, if this idea is accepted, funding will follow to allow this to come to fruition sooner rather than later. Stay tuned for an update, meanwhile, please send your twin prayers! (presenting this idea to 300 people in 5 minutes won't be easy!) Meanwhile, if you have ideas (or have needs to communicate, which help in the development of ideas) please email them to me at moniglam@gmail.com Yours, Monica

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Remembering Twins lost in the Twin Towers

Reflecting on events of 9/11 twelve years later, those left behind by the departed still say their dear ones are with them in memory every day. They say it feels like 12 days not 12 years. This is a familiar sentiment to womb twin survivors who may have never seen their twin on earth! Quite simply, this feeling can be explained as follows: THE HAUNTING PRESENCE OF ABSENCE. May we honor all the twins and womb twin survivors (born and unborn) who are affected by the terror of 9/11 and continue to regard them in our hearts with validation and loving kindness. Particularly Greg Hoffman and his wife who began the following support group for twins directly affected: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2033396/The-Twins-Twin-Towers-Of-3-000-killed-September-11-46-twins-Ten-years-surviving-siblings-tell-haunting-stories.html

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

When a Twin Dies...

Here's a very simple explanation of what happens to a twin pair when a twin dies: WHEN A TWIN DIES, THEY GO FROM BEING ONE SOUL IN TWO BODIES TO BEING TWO SOULS IN ONE BODY. The latter being the plight of the womb twin survivor.

Friday, March 8, 2013

These gorgeously haunting glass sculptures by William Morris are little burial rafts/wombs for our twin's who didn't quite make it in this world (if links don't work google WILLIAM MORRIS BURIAL RAFT & BURIAL URN: http://www.wmorris.com/home.php?id=available_artbottom/archive/BR1191_03_17 (currently on view at Museum of Arts & Design in NYC) http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3378/3537814703_e8c33c6e7e_o.jpg&imgrefurl=http://minimalexposition.blogspot.com/2009/05/meditation-photoblog-william-morris.html&h=1024&w=693&sz=60&tbnid=VJgn6zJN4fihxM:&tbnh=99&tbnw=67&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dwilliam%2Bmorris,%2Bburial%2Braft%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=william+morris,+burial+raft&usg=__HIWwq4_YnkMMa-Kecst9QcVDdAM=&docid=18IF2tZV4W3kIM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=KTk6UfCAEsrq2AXL-oDAAQ&ved=0CFAQ9QEwCA&dur=226

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A miraculous story of Womb Twin Healing after years of misdiagnosis and mistreatment

Following the post below, here is an example of a 58 yr old womb twin survivor who literally went through hell and had to find her own way because, until Womb Twin Survivor syndrome was established by Althea Hayton a few years ago, being misdiagnosed with a dissociative disorder and thrown in a psychiatric hospital was how they treated the symptoms of her womb twin survivor syndrome. Many womb twin survivors have received shock treatments, heavy medications and loads of ineffective/wrong advice since therapists aren't trained specifically for this. Anyway, over time, her curiosity and alpha survivor spirit found its way through many modalities and years of self discovery leading her to the womb twin healing path just two years ago and already today she feels at peace because she knows what it is: she's a womb triplet survivor and that explains everything! So let's talk to her to find out more about her fascinating story: Can you tell us more about your history, your process and some of the tools you have used which have helped in your healing? "I knew from an early age there was another little girl living inside me, which is how I said it at age 6, and there was another strong bond with a male who seemed to be my triplet whose soul I believe followed me and got reborn into a boy I knew as a child but then died on me again. Throughout my life I have exhibited many of the same patterns other survivors do, like: Abandonment issues, separation anxiety, approval junkie, feeling nuts and out of control, misunderstood, eating disorder, suicidal attempts and feelings of extreme unworthiness, ambidexterity and a strong, curious alpha spirit. This questing spirit is what helped me find Althea Hayton's work and from there it all started to come together for the first time. The female presence living within me felt like another little girl exactly the same age as me. People remarked that I had an imaginary friend. I enjoyed having her around and I never questioned where she came from. Sometimes I would communicate with her in my mind and other times I would speak aloud to her, much to the shock of other people who might overhear and wonder what was wrong with me. Around this time, I became aware of twins through reading books that were geared to young children. The first time I read about twin sisters, I was both intrigued and jealous. I was missing out on something, but I didn't quite know what. I felt lost and lonely for a good part of my childhood, even though I did have friends, but I was starting to feel like an oddball most of the time. By seventh grade, I was really feeling weird and there were a lot of voices in my head, most of which said horrible things. I was really starting to hate myself. I had tremendous abandonment issues, feelings of unworthiness, and then at age 12, I developed anorexia. Had major mood swings and then unbelievable bouts of depression. I went to college, but in the very beginning of junior year, I started having a major nervous breakdown, and ended up leaving in March, to be hospitalized in a mental facility for several months. Ended up having 20 shock treatments, which i must admit did help...for awhile. Started cutting myself shortly thereafter, and I would get a rush afterwards. Why was all this happening? Was I never going to get better? I don't think I was meant to be alive...I wanted to die...I thought about death and dying all the time. I had told a bunch of kids in 7th grade that I had a twin sister who died before we were born. I could see her there...she was facing me, and we held on to each other for dear life....but she slipped away. It was all my fault! I took all the food, all the space, everything! I forced her to die, and our brother, too. I was a horrible person for doing all that, so of course I deserved to suffer in every way possible!” Never felt like I was good enough, period. I was too fat, not pretty enough, worthless. I felt like my parents were planning to abandon me at the age of 6. It is interesting to note that I had several specific watershed times in my life, the first one occurring around age 6 when I started having recurring nightmares about a man in my neighborhood, that something bad was going to happen to my dad (I was definitely a Daddy's Girl, I saw my mother as some competition and my nemesis) also around 6 was when i started reading the children's books about twins and became utterly fascinated and obsessed with twins and multiple births in general. I was very interested in pregnant women and thought it would be the greatest thing in the world to carry a baby in my stomach. The second watershed period was at age 12 when things were becoming crystal clear in my mind's eye about my sister and the smaller fraternal brother that was there, hovering above us, much smaller and not nearly as developed. He was going to leave first, but not without making a tremendous, indelible impression on me forever". What specific symbols, mantras, rituals were most helpful to you? "I don't remember having any mantras or symbols, except that I would obsess over anything twin-related, I would read every book I could get my hands on, just to feel connected to the whole thing. I did have a thing from a very young age where I tried to make other girls fill in for my twin. I had a Patti Playpal doll that was my size, and I told everyone we were twins; anybody was eligible to be my twin just by having the same first name or the same birthday. Problem was, nobody else felt the same way. Again, abandonment and rejection". What particular areas of interest - in the effects of your womb story - have you been working on? Handedness: I have always felt like my sister and I amalgamated with each other, a fancy word for resorption, she is within me all the time. It's actually very comforting...I'm never alone! I am mixed-handed...not right handed and not completely left handed either. Sometimes it is like my sister and I are both operating at the same time. Anorexia issues and Overeating, using food as emotional support: It is interesting to note that my anorexia came on during that very significant watershed period at age 12. Prior to that, around 4,5, 6, all the way up to age 11, food was an obsession with me. I would very often eat when I was not hungry...but I had a deep abyss within me that needed to be filled up...and food did the trick, if only for a little while. Usually tremendous guilt would ensue after binge eating... I didn't deserve to eat, I was fat and took up all the space in Mom's womb..etc., etc Sexuality issues: Was attracted to females from a very young age, also attracted to males, but most often very feminine males... trannies were my favorite because they were the amalgamation of male and female that I craved...the three of us back together in the womb, where we belonged. I love gay men and want to be around them, not necessarily sexually, but just to love them in a sisterly way". Were you surprised to find this work, tell us more about how you discovered it exactly? "I stumbled on Althea Hayton's womb twin site one night...I won't say "by accident" because it really wasn't!! It was the cherry on top of the cake, as they say, because it was my reward for having gone through hell, not understanding anything and wishing I were dead... to have everything turn around, get answers to alot of questions, knowing I'm not alone, and most of all...glad I'm here". What's next for you? "I fulfilled my lifelong wish and became a Mom, I still love taking care of babies and seek out people who generally need me. I need to be needed!! But I don't let myself be used anymore. I used to be a huge approval junkie and I would do anything to make people like me. Not anymore! If people don't like me its their problem. I like myself, I know who I am and I do have people who love me. I will never turn my back on anyone who needs a helping hand... I believe in karma. That's really at the heart of my story... I went through hell, but I didn't let it totally destroy me, my soul... I'm still in one piece and I've come around full circle and I've had alot of good things happen to me. I'm somewhat psychic, which I believe is a gift that all womb twin survivors have...because our twins are on the other side, we always have a connection, and that's a great thing to have. I do a lot of research on womb twins, psychic phenomena, reincarnation, etc. I'll never get tired of finding out stuff...everyday I find out something new, even if its a glimmer of something...it usually leads to something even bigger and more mind-blowing". Indeed! Thank you for sharing so much of your story with us, we love to hear how transformational it is knowing exactly what’s wrong so that you can heal it…all with thanks to Althea Hayton for establishing this syndrome and its healing path, despite the fact the world, and most of the therapists in it, are for the most part clueless or resistant to understanding the effects of womb twin loss. Let’s hope Complicated/Prolonged Grief Disorder becomes a diagnostic code in the DSM-5 this year so proper diagnosis can be made, and improper misdiagnoses may be avoided, that would be a good start!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

The Defenses Go Down, The Defenses Go Up

I recently did a 5 hour power-session with a 27 year old suspected womb twin survivor in a restaurant. It was very dense and exhausting but this person could handle it and wanted it. In just 1 hour we knew about her fraternal male, it felt as if something that had never been articulated, just known, was suddenly common knowledge. After all, he'd been here all along in the form of a sense that a male was following her throughout her entire life. However, I recognized her as an identical and this was quickly established as she easily began drawing a diagram of how the three of them were positioned in the womb along with great detail about the identical she evidently absorbed into her back/shoulder/neck or other such contact/trauma in that region. This was so huge but completely hidden from consciousness until now. Sometimes the distant fraternal can seem bigger because the defenses are still hiding the even bigger identical, when that is revealed it all starts to fit right away. Something so unusual immediately feels normal and after that it becomes real forever - it just quiets in intensity as it is acknowledged and healed. This person wasn't ready to walk the womb twin healing path at this time, the defenses went back up, but she will chip away using other modalities and maybe that's just what it takes to get to the core of the onion. Weeks later she acknowledged she blocked it yet it all felt valid still. At least she caught it! I wish her well and hope to have updates on her healing in the future. On the other hand, because there are womb twin resources established now, my advice to people like her would be to face it head on! So many of us suffered for so many years, struggling alone with healing methods that, although valuable, didn't quite crack it, then healed in just a short amount of time when womb twin work was done...it just seems unnecessary to avoid the task at hand to whoever has gotten far enough in their journey to be acknowledging their womb twin survivor status! You won't be here at this place forever so tackle it in it's fullest now so that later you know you turned over every rock - all the creepy crawlies can vanish when you acknowledge who vanished! On a side note: some triplet womb twin survivors feel closer to the identical with the fraternal being distant or unacknowledged, or the reverse - as above - it all depends on the dynamics of the womb story and how their biology and relationships played out, as well as the mechanisms of defense in what can be revealed to the consciousness ultimately, case in point above as the womb twin survivor found she was much closer to her identical female who she never knew about, yet had always known about the male who had been so huge before but now almost paled in comparison. She could become more feminine and less masculine as a result..or those pesky defenses could allow the masculine to rage on, we shall see.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Honoring the legacy of Althea Hayton

It's been two years since Womb Twin founder, Althea Hayton, passed from this realm in body - yet her spirit continues to infuse healing miracles all around the world because the work she developed is so effective. She dedicated the last seven years of her life to developing Womb Twin syndrome theories and healing path and we have since carried on the work with impressive results - it holds up for the older womb twin survivors as well as the new crop of IVF babies coming of age.
Today let us remember and give thanks to a great woman who dared to dream beyond the limits in order to carve out new territory for womb twin survivors to have a place to go for help and understanding, which the world is getting closer to embracing. She always said one day the world will get it and then it will be huge. We've gone from baby steps to toddler steps and continue to adapt the work to the needs of Womb Twins everywhere, no matter their age or womb story. We can help now, thanks to Althea.
Everyday she is very much alive in the Womb Twin realm and we couldn't be luckier to live in a time where she made this possible.
Blessings!

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

The Physical Challenges of Very Young Womb Twin Survivors

Question:
What physical challenges does a newborn Womb Twin Survivor face?
Answer:
Because mind body & spirit are interconnected, separating out physical symptoms is difficult because they include deeply emotional/psychospiritual components. All symptoms are a direct result of the what happened in the womb for the survivor and each womb story is unique, so how the symptoms manifest depends on the experience. Details such as when the twin was lost, how it was lost, gender, zygosity, etc. shape the outcome. There are trends seen among womb twin survivors such as:

-Newborns can be in shock not only from the trauma of losing their twin but having to navigate birth solo and thus separate from the mother, when separation already means death. They may be unable to sleep or unable to wake up, they may cry incessantly and be clingier than other babies.

-Sometimes symptoms arise from the NICU depending on the length of time & experience there. The baby, in shock, loses critical attachment bonding with mother due to the often lengthy stay - which is an important "twin replacement" bond that would ease the transition into born life alone but instead, being cared for by various nurses reinforces separation anxiety which can stress the baby and have all kinds of physical repercussions.

-They need to feel a physical barrier in their proprioception to remind them of the good time with their twin (when space was tighter), rather than feel the vulnerability of open space such as when their twin died leaving them alone in it, which they feel guilty about taking up by themselves. The baby will smash it's body into the corner of the crib or cling tightly to another object. (google "The Rescuing Hug" videoclip)

-The baby may appear despondent with inward eyes due to their intense inner nature and hypersensitivity. They may delay speech to hold on to the non-verbal relationship imprint of their twin.

-They may exhibit anomalies such as dermoid cyst, chimerism, 3rd nipple, extra digits or teeth or other unusual markings/features. Ambidexterity. Skin sensitivity/Hypersensitivity.

-All kinds of eating issues show up, from mild to severe, usually originating from feeling guilty about getting more food and surviving. WTS often want to stay small and not be bigger than anyone, not grow, so they can be like their twin or they will show up the size of two or three people, eating for them all. Alternating between the two (as in yoyo dieters) is wonderful way to express duality which is their twin nature. (Not all WTS have these issues, it depends on what happened in the womb).

-As toddlers they may follow/stay in close proximity to caregivers in order to bond and make sure their "twin replacement" doesn't disappear.

-They may exhibit twin confusion by treating a favorite pillow or blanket like a person and go into panic if the object is lost. (buy two of a favorite thing so you have a replacement to avoid this).

-They may have a different sense of boundaries and safety - both personally and interpersonally (usually lacking).

-They may express thoughts about death, dying, killing, etc. as a way to articulate the confusing, unspeakable death which they witnessed before birth.

What can you do to help a very young Womb Twin Survivor? Foster their brilliance while dialing down their triggers, this will help give them the energy to navigate the day and grow. Give them comfort and love. Pick and choose when to give in - they need alot of attention generally but proper boundaries shouldn't be compromised, they should be reinforced (WTS need to learn to navigate the world just like everyone else even though they are quite different). Disagreements, disapproval, separations of any kind are threatening to a WTS so be ready for an unusual amount of anger (too much or too little). Do your best not to judge, be consistent and authentic. Be patient when they flip flop from alpha to beta, they are often two people in one so it gets confusing! Awareness is key...and we can learn to bring out the best in our very special Womb Twin Survivors.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Womb Twin Presence for the Holidays


Holiday time is upon us...it can be a difficult time for those in grief, particularly Womb Twin Survivors who may feel sad or guilty celebrating without their twin or who feel different from their loved ones at times of "togetherness". It can be a busy time of comings and goings and symbolic representation, a reflective time and a depressing & disappointing time. So how can we get through another holiday successfully? What strategies might we use to get through the holidays, year to year and how does that change over time?


I spent many years in agony during this time because all in a row were big dates which were excruciatingly difficult yet I had to be "on" in a world that didn't understand:

Dec21- Womb Twin Day (reflection)
Dec22- My birthday (weird being celebrated without my born twin)
Dec23- My twin death date (she lived 24 hours)
Dec24&25- Christmas Eve & Christmas (rejoicing)
Dec31- New Years Eve & my son's birthday (renewal)

The balancing act between our inner and outer worlds, with all the triggers inherent in family gatherings, can be managed with a little care and foresight. The key is to not let your beta-sabotage take over your annual memory as a way to keep your twin alive. This is your holiday and you deserve to enjoy all the blessings of your life. You deserve to connect and share bonds of love with everyone dear to you, regardless of who is here or who is not. So here are some tips for staying in the alpha-present as you approach this tender time:

-Take control & don't get overwhelmed. Say no if it doesn't feel right and own your decision. Don't feel guilty about anything - it's up to you how you spend your time, who you spend it with, what you eat or drink, where you travel or stay, how active or restful you choose to be. So be sure to say yes to all you need to create for who you are now. It's all up to you, after all it's your holiday and these are your born memories to create.

-Don't have any expectations because you are bound to be disappointed - someone will say the wrong thing, you will get the wrong gift, or any other mechanism will come up to prove that nobody else can ever be your twin. Don't go down this road!

-Channel Emotions in Separate Buckets: use Womb Twin Day Dec 21 to have your twin reflection/ritual time, or do something to celebrate the upcoming holidays privately with your twin first so that the twin part of yourself is acknowledged. Then you can face the holidays without feeling like something is missing. It's ok to acknowledge the part of you that is a twin, if it helps you feel balanced going into the holidays as an individual. Delineate both identities in yourself and create appropriate holiday rituals for each.

-Prepare an out so you can easily get a break from the overstimulation - of lights, colors, shiny textures, laughter, gluttony. Remember to have some down time, this is your time to relax after a year full of hypersensitivity and navigating emotional landscapes just to feel "normal".

-Affirm "this is my memory to have and it's ok" - enjoy yourself!

-Give yourself a symbolic twin gift. Wrap it and open it. You can be the Self who gives a gift to their Twin AND you can be the Twin who receives a gift from their Twin as well as a Self who receives a gift from their Twin. Feel all the ways of being and allow them to resonate. (I thought I was a Self giving a gift to my Self all these years until I realized it was a twin ritual.)

-Be present, that's the best gift of all. Don't disappear or feel invisible just to feel close to your twin. Your twin is where your twin needs to be and you are where you need to be. Now be here!! You just have to give yourself permission...

Happy Holidays to all the special Womb Twins of the World! May your holidays be happy and free, allowing you to shine!

Saturday, August 15, 2015

One Year since Althea left her Legacy to Us

It's been one year since Womb Twin founder, Althea Hayton, passed from this realm on Aug 13 2014 leaving a rich legacy that is being realized more and more with each passing day. To honor her life and work, I have made it my personal mission to do what I can on her behalf to push forward her ideas, raise awareness, practice the healing techniques, document findings via the blogs and continue to adapt what Althea started to fast-changing times in order to ensure relevancy to the younger womb twins coming forward - for the womb twins Althea based her foundational work on were different than those coming forward now. Early days included work with older womb twin survivors who often had no proof but found tremendous healing with this discovery/modality after years of other attempts not quite solving it. Today we see younger womb twin survivors who always knew because they had proof of Vanishing Twin Syndrome or knew they were conceived as a twin/multiple through methods of IVF/ART. Future work will need to facilitate the changing needs of survivors of Multi Fetal Pregnancy Reduction. And I'm seeing new synergies among Living Twins whose pre-natal imprints cause issues and how this work can help them get to the source. I'm seeing more people who are both Living Twins and Womb Twin Survivors. The walls between camps are coming down as we realize that people can be all: a living twin can be a womb twin survivor triplet who becomes a twinless twin who then must come to terms with their individuality. Although the landscape has become ever-more complicated, the healing set forth by Althea Hayton holds up through it all. Her development of this syndrome and healing path have been the extraordinary solution for some already but, in my opinion, the real power of what it's meant to transform is yet to come. I'm proud to say the work is proving effective in every type of scenario.


To recap the year, here are some highlights of the work I have been doing:

- Leading healing sessions by skype from NYC across Europe and US (one brave soul did her first womb regression while traveling by ferry from Finland to Sweden - a wi fi-enabled amniotic reenactment!)

- Two effective healing cases both involving womb triplets with eating disorders/body dismorphia/depression/suicide, others in progress

- Launch of new website Twindividual (still in progress) to broaden the scope of womb twin survivor syndrome to accommodate the new complexity discussed above

- Blog Posts linked to pop-culture events like 'Caitlyn Jenner's transformation' or 'Evil Twin removed from Brain' were placed on social media to insert Womb Twin into the mass conversation causing spikes in visits to our sites

- Our Blog & Womb Twin clip was quoted by a preeminent German prenatal psychologist at a lecture to psychologists, gynecologists, mid-wives, teachers, social workers etc. to make a broader public familiar with the effects of prenatal traumas one of which of course is the loss of a twin in the womb

- Developed a new womb regression technique utilizing float pods (a sensory deprivation saltwater tank) which can be used for anyone - the masses can access their potential 1 in 8 wombtwinness, womb twins can float safely with guidance to access and resolve womb trauma, any kind of womb/birth memory can be worked with in this state of relaxed regression.

- Documentary: shooting a film which will showcase Womb Twin Survivor syndrome featuring a 15 yr old Vanishing Twin Survivor who bravely speaks her truth and exposes her coping journey. After 3 therapists and psychiatric hospitals failed, just 5 months of womb twin work gave her a new level of comfort in life eliminating unwanted behaviors such as eating disorders & self harm, releasing survivor guilt and allowing her to step into her Alpha power. Several other subjects have been shot and will also be featured as smaller youtube segments (coming later this year) including: a revealing conversation with a transsexual who admits she was probably a twin as she discovers the idea for the first time and we trace her history to put the clues together and a state-of-the-union chat with twin psychologist Dr. Barbara Klein, author of Alone In The Mirror among other books, in her Beverly Hills office.

- Future Podcast: developing a live podcast in conjunction with twin psychologist Dr. Barbara Klein because we believe living twins, twinless twins and womb twin survivors all have the same stuff and can all help each other. Because people can fit more than one of these categories, synergy is needed across the board.

- Womb Twin seeds were planted at the Twin Days Festival in Twinsburg, OH in August. Any volunteers for next year?

- Beginning efforts to lobby legislation to make Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome listed as a risk/side effect of ART/IVF methods

There are more things in the works to keep the healing legacy alive, for Althea lit a flame that will continually be an inferno of transformation for those who need it & find it and have the diligence to see the work through, in order to reclaim their rightful inheritance to a comfortable, happy life! Passing the work on continues the healing, so feel free to volunteer time or help with donations for research by contacting us...please help pass Althea's torch! There's so much to do...

Friday, July 24, 2015

Twinning show helps the world understand Twin Bonds, sets foundation to understand the loss of them too, hopefully

Twinning show on VH1

The VH1 premiere of “Twinning” featured a whole bunch of twins who would be separated into two separate houses, then pit against their twin in challenges to test their twin psychicness when they are separated. When the twins are told they will be separating the whole mood of the show changes…faces look shocked, worried, confused. Some cry, one almost pee’s his pants, one says she would “lose her mind” without her twin, yet another says “Without my twin I’m nothing.”

Their strong reactions to twin separation demonstrate just how difficult it is for a twin to function without their twin. Why wouldn’t this be the case for womb twin survivors who must be born without their twin? Being born is the scariest thing we will do, aside from dying, a time when the comfort of familiarity would be extra important. Add to this the biggest death trauma possible (twin loss is bigger than losing a child or a spouse or a parent), not to mention the fact that newborn babies are extremely vulnerable, and you have a recipe for disaster. This emotional disaster is the birthright of a born-alone twin.

Back to Twinning, the show ended with the twins reuniting…one twin says it’s like “the whole is put back together, it’s amazing to be together again” – and so it goes that womb twin survivors must put the wholeness back together in themselves by reclaiming both their twin and individual identities.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Preemie 1 lb baby fights for life but life without her twin will be her biggest struggle

This is a gut-wrenching story that happens more than most people realize...the journey to become healthy twins is often perilous and frought with many hurdles which keep presenting themselves as quickly as they can be overcome.
Portugal Babymoon Couple Stranded Twins Article

Despite the tremendous fight Hayden Grace is up against, living life without her twin will be worse than all of it. It may even cause her to give up the fight. Most womb twins feel they got the raw end of the deal and, if given the choice, want to be with their twin - even more than life itself.

On a more positive note, Womb Twin Survivors are super-charged with fight-or-flight adrenalin so their "survival" instinct is in full gear, and they have the power of two in them, so hopefully this is enough to overcome the psychospiritual shock which has become their birthright - not to mention the medical/biological challenges of extreme prematurity.

I too was born at six months - 3 months premature with a twin (I was 3 lbs, she was 2 lbs), spending two months in NICU without attachment bonding, way before they knew the value of touch and light therapy. It took two months for me to gain the 2 lbs needed to go home a 5 pounder and the psychological impact of this ordeal has taken years to heal. What could've been 60 days and nights of breastfed bonding to help ease my twinloss turned into 60 days of abandonment and isolation on top of my twin loss but thankfully the nurses on duty got me through.

The knowledge we have gleaned in the past half-century since my birth is a blessing which allows many more preemies to survive, we know so much more about what to do (i.e. the "rescuing hug")but our continued ignorance prevents prevention. Every day we learn more about the mistakes we make, and how to manage them, but as the world continues scratching its head about the reality of womb twin survivors, we miss chances at prevention. We need to raise awareness so that people can make informed choices about their procreative decisions. What can we do? Here are some ideas

- Talk to people in their 20's and 30's about starting families earlier - delayed conception is risky
- Lobby Government to include Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome as one of the risks factors in choosing IVF/ART and Multiple Fetal Pregnancy Reduction
- Speak out about how you, as a Womb Twin Survivor, are affected
- Volunteer at your local NICU to help cuddle preemies which are often Womb Twin Survivors, the recognition Womb Twin Survivors feel with each other can only help these little ones thrive.

Don't miss all the opportunities which exist every day for Womb Twins to raise awareness, we are walking billboards for the cause because we live with the effects everyday. Sheer persistence alone can strengthen the case that we are not making this up (which is what the world conveniently wants us to believe).

Saturday, June 20, 2015

New: Inner/Outer Womb Twin Imagery on Facebook

One of the many frustrating things about being a womb twin survivor is that our inner reality does not match our outer reality because there is no way to express our true identity as twins when there is no twin there. It's like a man who is really a female inside before sex-reassignment was possible or an obese person who is really a thin person inside before lap-band surgery - there is nothing we can do to prove to the world who we truly are, as we identify ourselves to be twins & multiples. Because WTS are born alone we are somehow supposed to be ok with this and not talk about it, while singletons have their funerals and grief ceremonies for every type of loss, including pet loss, military loss, etc. complete with outpourings of comfort and sympathy from their friends, family and workplace.

Most of the time, people don't know what to say to someone who lost a twin in-utero and usually consider the survivor wrong to be "stuck" or talking about it, surprised that someone would be affected by such an early loss, or downright judging them as crazy - resulting in behavior which is unintentionally dismissive causing the survivor to feel even more alienated and alone than they already are. This is extremely painful because twin loss is the biggest grief loss there is because it means a part of the surviving twin dies too, further, they still trade places and pick up the thoughts and feelings of their twin - even though their twin has died, so the grief is loaded with identity confusion and survivor guilt.

This lack of comfort and expression causes the grief to remain repressed resulting in a sense of turmoil and identity confusion for the survivor who does not feel "normal" and does not know how to articulate it and does not find many places to go for it. The discrepancy between their inner world and outer world widens unless proper channels are made to express the trauma and affirm & heal the ego identity of the survivor.

One tool I found useful during my healing journey was a technique called "picture letters" - my adopted twin and I would send each other letters in the mail of images torn out of magazines which we would write over in our own twin-loss language. It gave us so much joy to make the outer world match our inner world and also to know someone else saw the same things and felt the same way, we felt less alone with our thoughts and feelings and had a safe place to poke fun at our own anger and bitterness about life and the constant irony and duality we felt.

I recently decided to use Facebook the same way - to share the mental imagery of the mind of a Womb Twin Survivor with the world, in hopes that other WTS will have a-ha moments of wonder that someone sees things like they do, that they are not alone, that our condition can even be fun if we embrace it! They can also make comments back to make it an interactive experience which can be instantly gratifying because lone-twins find great comfort in seeing eye to eye with each other the way they would have with their twin.

Please friend Twindividual to view regular womb twin images on Facebook.
Thanks & don't forget to join and comment!

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Bruce Jenner: Caitlyn may not be your ticket out of Manhood

If Bruce Jenner is keeping an opposite-gender female twin alive by becoming Caitlyn - will he really be "free" once he transitions?  Sure, being a male who repressed his inner female all his life makes it seem like becoming "her" will be the solution to suddenly liberate him from the chains of identity repression, however, what if he is a womb twin survivor?

If he's a womb twin survivor, he might be happiest keeping both the male and female alive in order to live his "dream of the womb" - if so, being "her" won't be everything.  It will still be half of who he is.  He will still be a little bit male, but this time he will feel more comfortable because he will be giving "her" a turn to be the alpha.  Where will his new male beta side go?  Unless he resolves his inner womb twin conflict, even transitioning genders won't solve it.  He will still feel incomplete, like something is missing, that being Caitlyn alone cannot resolve.  

It could come crashing down on the other side, once the media spotlight settles down, that waking up as a she everyday isn't the final answer.  Then it will be too late.  Hopefully, his post-op version will give him the comfort he hopes for, if not we will be here for him ready to explain his next steps on how to heal this inner conflict no matter what gender or number of bodies he chooses to house his soul in, in order to express who he needs to be. We need to make Womb Twin Counseling part of the psychological prep gender-transition candidates undergo to ensure thorough clarity because they may need to do inner work rather than outer work. If they still choose outer work, we can help them better own their decision either way.

If there are any transgender readers out there, please share your thoughts and let us know if you have ever questioned your decision or comfort level post-transition.


Click here for more details on my theory about Bruce AND Rob Kardashian being
Womb Twin Survivors.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

CARL(A) - "Transgender" or "Bigender Womb Twin"?

The cause(s) of transgenderism are still unknown. There are currently a few suspected factors, like Genetics, but none are conclusive, among them "Biological and Environmental Factors" - like losing an opposite-gender twin in the womb, perhaps? Check out this new film on the subject and you will notice many familiar themes that Womb Twin Survivors share: dual identity, family alienation, feeling misunderstood, quest for authenticity, alpha/beta struggles, etc. In fact, one of the stars of the film, Laverne Cox, is a twin to a male, could there have been a female triplet lost that Laverne is keeping alive by being both genders?

I recently interviewed a transgender MTF, who was also at the opening of this film, who admitted she thinks this theory could be true for her, she said it could be the explanation for why, as a small boy, she dreamt of women having penises. Where would that come from at age 5 when she had no recollection of seeing such body parts on other people to know? Further examination revealed many twins in the family (genetic component confirmed) and 4 older brothers (which increases the chances for transgenderism due to Androgen exposure). Perhaps all these factors and the timing of how they were laid down caused her to be born male yet need the fluidity of both genders to feel complete. So much research is needed to confirm this theory but it seems this person has many of the known factors. Maybe science can't confirm the cause conclusively for each hunch because it's the combination of all these factors together that make a transgenderperson really a bigender person at their core who needs their outer packaging to reflect this duality, we just happen to call it transgenderism for now. To be continued...

Please donate to Womb Twin in order to support much needed research on this topic - and please support this film to raise awareness:
This link allows you to donate and gain access to view film online thru June 4th
www.carlathemovie.com

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

What is the correlation between Personality Disorders and Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome?

This question often comes up due to the common occurrence of misdiagnosis that happens for Womb Twin Survivors who are wrongly labeled/treated until they find the Womb Twin Healing Path as a solution which allows them a comfort level with living not previously achieved with other methods.

First, let’s look at the PD’s and their descriptions:

Millon's brief description of personality disorders

Paranoid

Guarded, defensive, distrustful and suspiciousness. Hypervigilant to the motives of others to undermine or do harm. Always seeking confirmatory evidence of hidden schemes. Feel righteous, but persecuted. People with paranoid personality disorder are characterized by a pattern of pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others which last for a long time. They are generally difficult to work with.

Schizoid

Apathetic, indifferent, remote, solitary, distant, humorless. Neither desire nor need human attachments. Withdrawn from relationships and prefer to be alone. Little interest in others, often seen as a loner. Minimal awareness of the feelings of themself or others. Few drives or ambitions, if any. Is an uncommon condition in which people avoid social activities and consistently shy away from interaction with others. It affects more males than females. To others, they may appear somewhat dull or humorless. Because they don't tend to show emotion, they may appear as though they don't care about what's going on around them.

Schizotypal

Eccentric, self-estranged, bizarre, absent. Exhibit peculiar mannerisms and behaviors. Think they can read thoughts of others. Preoccupied with odd daydreams and beliefs. Blur line between reality and fantasy. Magical thinking and strange beliefs. People with schizotypal personality disorder are often described as odd or eccentric and usually have few, if any, close relationships. They generally don't understand how relationships form or the impact of their behavior on others.

Antisocial

Impulsive, irresponsible, deviant, unruly. Act without due consideration. Meet social obligations only when self-serving. Disrespect societal customs, rules, and standards. See themself as free and independent. People with antisocial personality disorder depict a long pattern of disregard for other people's rights. They often cross the line and violate these rights.

Borderline

Unpredictable, manipulative, unstable. Frantically fears abandonment and isolation. Experience rapidly fluctuating moods. Shift rapidly between loving and hating. See themself and others alternatively as all-good and all-bad. Unstable and frequently changing moods. People with borderline personality disorder have a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships.

Histrionic

Dramatic, seductive, shallow, stimulus-seeking, vain. Overreact to minor events. Exhibitionistic as a means of securing attention and favors. See themself as attractive and charming. Constantly seeking others' attention. Disorder is characterized by constant attention-seeking, emotional overreaction, and suggestibility. Their tendency to over-dramatize may impair relationships and lead to depression, but they are often high-functioning.

Narcissistic

Egotistical, arrogant, grandiose, insouciant. Preoccupied with fantasies of success, beauty, or achievement. See themself as admirable and superior, and therefore entitled to special treatment. Is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings.

Avoidant

Hesitant, self-conscious, embarrassed, anxious. Tense in social situations due to fear of rejection. Plagued by constant performance anxiety. See themself as inept, inferior, or unappealing. They experience long-standing feelings of inadequacy and are very sensitive of what others think about them.

Dependent

Helpless, incompetent, submissive, immature. Withdrawn from adult responsibilities. See themself as weak or fragile. Seek constant reassurance from stronger figures. They have the need to be taken care of by a person. They fear being abandoned or separated from important people in their life.

Obsessive–compulsive

Restrained, conscientious, respectful, rigid. Maintain a rule-bound lifestyle. Adhere closely to social conventions. See the world in terms of regulations and hierarchies. See themself as devoted, reliable, efficient, and productive.

Depressive

Somber, discouraged, pessimistic, brooding, fatalistic. Present themself as vulnerable and abandoned. Feel valueless, guilty, and impotent. Judge themself as worthy only of criticism and contempt. Hopeless, Suicidal, Restless. This disorder can lead to aggressive acts and hallucinations.

Passive–aggressive (Negativistic)

Resentful, contrary, skeptical, discontented. Resist fulfilling others’ expectations. Deliberately inefficient. Vent anger indirectly by undermining others’ goals. Alternately moody and irritable, then sullen and withdrawn. Withhold emotions. Will not communicate when there is something problematic to discuss.

Sadistic

Explosively hostile, abrasive, cruel, dogmatic. Liable to sudden outbursts of rage. Gain satisfaction through dominating, intimidating and humiliating others. They are opinionated and close-minded. Enjoy performing brutal acts on others. Find pleasure is abusing others. Would likely engage in a sadomasochist relationship, but will not play the role of a masochist.

Self-defeating (Masochistic)

Deferential, pleasure-phobic, servile, blameful, self-effacing. Encourage others to take advantage of them. Deliberately defeat own achievements. Seek condemning or mistreatful partners. They are suspect of people who treat them well. Would likely engage in a sadomasochist relationship.


These descriptions read like classic Womb Twin Survivor symptoms/feelings/traits – the remarkably high incidence of similarities makes it plausible to ascertain that Personality Disorders (PDs) are clusters of womb twin phenomena previously characterized as such due to lack of Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome (WTSS) knowledge (established in 2007).

To single out one of the PD’s, Borderline Personality Disorder, its description sounds exactly like the inner life of a Womb Twin Survivor. If this were true, and they are indeed the same thing, then these Symptoms of Disorder would actually be An Appropriate Reaction to Womb Trauma related to Twin Loss. When we look at them that way, we dial-down the “crazy” aspect and dial-in the fascinating understanding of how the psyche copes with trauma, pre and post limbic.

So what are the chances these are the same thing? When we look at research, it shows that BPD does appear to be a distinct diagnostic entity, although it co-occurs frequently with other mental disorders such as major depressive and bipolar II disorders, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), substance use disorders, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and with several other personality disorders.3 Being that these are also textbook symptoms of Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome, this seems to further the case.

Going further into the correlation between the two, we must not only look at the symptoms – we must look at the cause. It is generally held that biological and environmental risk factors interact to reach a critical level of brain dysfunction resulting in symptoms of BPD. Further, it appears that this critical degree of disturbance of brain function can be achieved by a large amount of biological risk, sometimes combined with a low amount of environmental risk, or as low biological risk coupled with high environmental risk, or intermediate levels of both.

I can’t think of a bigger explanation of Biological Risk than the pre-natal loss of a twin and the grief trauma suffered by the surviving twin, who may also have suffered Environmental Risk factors in utero.

It makes sense that a twin without a twin, who has nowhere to put their twin identity or express the unknown trauma their body memory holds, would show up with a label like

Multiple Personality Disorder because they are truly more than one person, who lost a twin or multiple in the womb. Unaware singletons in charge of writing diagnostic codes and ordering courses of treatment can only do their best, but unfortunately it’s not enough given the twin/multiple epidemic we are facing… which brings us to the the real issue: there aren’t enough practitoners in the know about pre-natal psychology and Womb Twin Healing.

According to Theodore Millon, Ph.D., D.Sc. "PDs's are inflexible and pervasive due to the fact that such behavior may be ego-syntonic (i.e. the patterns are consistent with the ego integrity of the individual). This behavior can result in maladaptive coping skills, which may lead to personal problems that induce anxiety, distress or depression". I would like to put forth the question: What if the ego-integrity of the individual is already compromised/damaged at birth due to womb twin loss, resulting in anxiety, distress, depression which is then exacerbated as life continues without acknowledgement or remedy? Are we sure we are putting the right horse before the right cart?

It’s my belief we can use Womb Twin healing techniques to get to the cause of the problem for many sufferers of PD’s who are wrongly labeled and mistreated because they are being misdiagnosed due to lack of a better explanation – until now. Perhaps not all of them are WT’s, but based on my research and work in the field, I would guess many of these people are Womb Twin Survivors who don’t know they are.

The quickest way to confirm the relationship between WTSS and PD’s would be to treat these personality orders with the Womb Twin Healing Path, preferably without traditional medicine/psychotherapeutic approaches, in order to assess whether symptoms are alleviated. If lessening or diminishment of symptoms is achieved, then we can prove a relationship exists between WTS and PD’s and perhaps help people alleviate these symptoms, which may really just be manifestations of keeping their ‘dream of the womb’ alive (as well as expressing their twin nature, who uses these devices to make itself known until we can know it consciously).

With open minds, we can see these symptoms as an innocent reaction, which need acknowledgment and release - rather than a label or disease to be medicated or institutionalized. We can go beyond asking What If? to What Now? and strive to provide proper treatment. The proof of the correlation will be in the healing and of course, this work may need to augment some traditional approaches in some cases, but at this writing too much research and support is needed to crack the true answer to this question, even though we probably already have the answer.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Bruce Jenner's Gender isn't such a Bender when seen through a Womb Twin Lens

This evening is Bruce Jenner’s big reveal to the world about his upcoming Gender Reassignment Surgery on ABC. While the world awaits a mysterious explanation about this surprising and personal choice, I would like to offer a possible explanation in advance, one which perhaps not even Bruce has considered about himself.

Seen through a womb-twin lens, I can intuit exactly what’s going on for Bruce, as well as Rob Kardashian. I can offer a theory as to why their relationship is strained now that Rob is clearly against this gender change while all his other siblings endorse it and support Bruce.

I believe they are both Womb Twin Survivors! And this is what makes them similar yet at odds, perhaps a subconscious competition between them. I believe Bruce had a female twin in the womb (most likely, 2 identicals - making him a triplet) and Rob had a male twin in the womb (most likely identical). Here’s my guess:

If Bruce is a male to 2 twin identical females, he would’ve been alone in his own sac. Could this be why it felt natural for him to create an off-site residence for only him, separate from the girls nearby? When his twins disappeared, he needed to keep their feminine energy alive inside him, but being an alpha male athlete he couldn’t admit that. So instead he finds fulfillment in marrying a woman who has lots of girl children, their union producing twin daughters. He would’ve felt natural to be around all that feminine energy but also left-out in his maleness (matching his womb dynamic). Could it be that seeing his twin daughters bond and come of age triggered an internal jealousy & sadness in Bruce, which, when combined with his switch from alpha male to beta male (thanks to his wife Kris being all business) was too much for his psyche to endure? The isolation/abandonment he felt could have caused him to fall deep into his black hole of needing his twin and all the identity and gender confusion which comes with it, needing to feel close to the girls inside him.

With no awareness that such a complex exists within him, his goal would be to remedy his sadness & confusion by keeping his dream of the womb alive - indeed, surpassing it - and trading places with his girl twin who was closest to him in the next sac. That would alleviate survivor guilt and merge him with his twin, heaven! If there was another identical, perhaps, more distant to Bruce, but closer to the other female, he could have picked up her desire to be with her twin and it would come out as him becoming a ‘she who is close to another she’ - the perfect amalgamation to recapture his original womb story. He wants to become a woman who is a lesbian, that way his maleness will be diminished (eliminating survivor guilt) and he’ll be reunited, actually merged, with the girls who are such a part of him. The alternative is so painful, he will suffer public humiliation in order to get his twin/triplet fix.

Then there’s Rob, the only Kardashian son, who has been depressed, isolated from the family and less successful than the rest. All typical womb twin traits. Poor Rob seems to have fallen deep into his black hole and no amount of money or fame can get him out of it. I believe Rob lost a male twin, likely identical - he and his father would’ve been the ‘two boys’ among all those girls, until his father died rendering Rob abandoned and grief stricken again. As all the girls around him rose to alpha fame, Rob slipped further into his black hole beta-space, becoming invisible.

The girls attempts to rescue him (with career, dieting and well-being help) made it worse because he wasn’t meant to merge with females, he was looking for his male counterpart to rescue/be rescued by…but he was outnumbered and overshadowed and the only male. Could his weight gain be contributed to this need to increase the number of males in the family, or be a way to show the world there are two of him by doubling in size? Yo-yo dieting and the media-spotlit alpha/beta struggle would only exacerbate his depression in this endless cycle of failure. Being elevated to alpha fame didn’t match his womb story, so he may have subconsciously decided to stay stuck keeping his dream of the womb alive, looking for his male counterpart. As his sisters brought male suitors into the family, he may have bonded with them as twin replacements, particularly Lamar Odom - this is when Rob seemed happy and strong enough to launch his own business, until Lamar too disappeared sending Rob into weight gain/isolation mode. Now, the only male left in the family, his step-dad Bruce, has decided to change gender from male to female, committing yet another familiar betrayal - leaving Rob alone with all those girls and no male twin replacement. No wonder he is the only child who does not support Bruce’s decision.

These behaviors are perfectly explainable and logical when seen through a womb twin lens, they may be nothing more than an appropriate reaction to a series of prior in-utero events which look very odd & confusing without knowledge and belief in the everyday life of a womb twin survivor.

Now let’s tune in to hear what Bruce has to say about all this!….

Thursday, April 23, 2015

"Evil Twin" found in Woman's Brain - Admission that Teratoma is an Embryonic Twin

It's nice when they admit a teratoma is an absorbed twin. will Yamini feel the loss of her twin now that they have been separated via surgery, despite never knowing about her twin before?  We are here for you if you need us Yamini!

http://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/Embryonic-Twin-Discovered-in-Womans-Brain-During-Surgery-300891281.html

Monday, March 2, 2015

The world is getting better at acknowledging Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome

The world is acknowledging more and more that womb twin loss is a thing and has an impact - for years this point was missed or questioned & not easily believed, which has been extremely frustrating for Womb Twin Survivors whose lives are affected everyday. Not finding widespread help only compounds this feeling of isolation, given that we live in a cause-curated world. The tides are changing now that the masses can no longer look the other way due to headlines such as these:

http://www.parents.com/blogs/baby/2015/02/10/news/these-remarkable-babies-were-born-without-their-twins/?utm_source=scarymommy.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange

Sunday, March 1, 2015

The Unborn Ultimatum

This brand of humor speaks for itself, but it is interesting that the mass psyche is starting to wrap its head around intrauterine rights and twin absorption as seen in this skit about FETUS LAWYERS:

http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/ouq3mw/the-unborn-ultimatum

Rare birth: Born inside Amniotic Sac

This baby was born inside its amniotic sac three months premature...could he be a womb twin survivor?

http://www.cnn.com/2015/02/25/health/rare-en-caul-birth-amniontic-sac/index.html

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Twins Reunited on Facebook

Now that Womb Twin Survivor Syndrome is on the scene, I wonder of these twins would've diagnosed themselves with it....before finding their lost twin on Facebook. Instead, they get to live their true twin identity through a fairy tale ending which womb twin survivors will never experience..what a happy story!

http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/12/living/separated-at-birth-reunited-on-facebook-parents/index.html?hpt=us_t5

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The Twin Bond Remains..no matter what life brings or doesn't bring

A new film about the bond of twins separated and reunited, although they are growing up in different countries it will be a huge relief for them to know the other exists and to understand their twin identity. See NY Times Article "Twin Sisters from China Stay in Touch"

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/20/arts/twin-sisters-from-china-stay-in-touch.html?_r=1

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Womb Twin Is Alive and Flourishing!

With Althea's passing, it is important we all recognize the significance of carrying on her work so that future Womb Twin Survivors get the help she worked so hard to make available. While this marks the end of Althea's active participation, it is by no means an end, nor is it a slowing down, instead it heralds a new chapter to take her work forward based on seven years of refining and effectiveness so that her legacy can be realized and utilized - particularly since the in vitro/selective reduction babies are coming of age. So here's what's next:

- Womb Twin as a non-profit organization is alive and well in St Albans, UK with Celeste Hardingham as Chairman, appointed by Althea.

- Womb Twin will continue indefinitely as an administration with a board of directors, however, it relies on donations so we need help with fundraising. Write a letter of request to 20 people with the womb twin donation link (from website) so that they can make direct donations. It's that simple and you never know until you ask! Remember, We no longer have Althea's efforts to populate the donation pool, so all hands on deck!

- Wren Publications will be administered by Philip Hayton, Althea's son. What a blessing to have his help managing Althea's vast world of books which she published herself out of her determination to help womb twin survivors get the material they need, and which is available nowhere else.

- Monica Hudson is actively practicing the healing techniques taught to her by Althea from New York with new and existing womb twin survivors all over the world (in person & skype). Her Twindividual/Twindr initiatives are still in progress and will soon be launched as the next evolution of the womb twin work.

- Keep Spreading the word about this syndrome and Womb Twin organization in order to raise awareness, so that those who need help can get it, and hopefully to help prevent future cases.

-Expand the work in guiding Therapists, which was Althea's last effort "Ripples from the Womb" yet which was only the beginning of a much-needed way to bridge traditional therapy with the special needs of this under-the-radar population. In other words, if those who need help don't seek us out, we can at least prepare therapists to identify and then treat womb twin survivors.

Onward and Upward, it's time to reciprocate Althea for her generosity of spirit and pay her work forward into the world now...

Sunday, August 31, 2014

A dance for Althea on August 28, 2014

As requested by the Goddess of All Things Womb Twin, here is a special dance for Althea, may she rest in peace. At the time of her passing, I was in New York sharing her Healing Path with a new recruit - Nicholas is a young dancer who will benefit from finding this work early in his life. She would've liked that. Since I sadly couldn't attend her burial on Thursday, we chose to honor her spirit with the dance of life from Fifth Avenue. The ripple effect of your dance is alive and well, Althea!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Dance for Althea on Thurs August 28th

Our beloved Althea, will be laid to rest on Thursday in the UK, her burial will be well attended by her family, church and community. She asked for donations to be given ALS (isn't it just like her to pick a disease that is trending via Ice Bucket Challanges?) but isn't that also just like her to ask for something unselfish to the cause she worked so hard to make into a non-profit organization serving what turned out to be roughly 3000 womb twin survivors of which 1000 have proof. The truth is, Womb Twin needs donations more than ever, without her. So please give to one or both in Althea's memory. The other request Althea made, was that there be dancing. So, everyone in the USA, please do a dance for Althea when you wake up in the morning!

The need for her work in the world is invaluable to those who need it. Here is a letter from a womb twin on the East Coast which really sums it up:

I came to know Althea and the Wombtwin Community at one of the lowest points of my life. It was about 10 days after I had made a very serious suicide attempt. Somehow I survived and was placed in a mental hospital for about a week. They wanted me to stay longer, but it was almost Christmas Day and I wanted to go home.

A few days later, I happened to be on the internet and in the search bar I keyed in the words "I had a twin who disappeared" and it was like I rubbed the magic lamp, because immediately a plethora of things came up, most of them titled "Wombtwin Survivors". Wow!! I had never heard of that term before. For at least 50 years, I had felt like I should have been a twin, always felt the presence of another little girl, I had all the earmarks of a twin. I had been hospitalized in mental hospitals on and off my entire life. A lot of psychiatrists thought I had multiple personality disorder, I was delusional, etc. Nobody could tell me anything definite.

That was until December 30, 2008. That was the day the biggest light in the universe came on, and I found Althea and the world of Wombtwins. I wasn't alone! I wasn't delusional! I was part of a big, beautiful family all over the world.

Thank you, Althea, and God Bless you in heaven for showing all of us the way. I will be eternally grateful to you. Love Always, Kate

This is just one example of how Althea gave so much to others with her generous spirit, now go be still and rest in peace knowing you have given us a place to understand ourselves and learn how to do our dance.

Besides - If we don't Do Our Dance, who will?

Friday, August 15, 2014

Althea Hayton, founder of Womb Twin, leaves rich legacy

With great sadness, let it be known that pioneer and "Goddess of All Things Womb Twin" as I liked to call her, Althea Hayton, has left our little world for the great beyond. She passed peacefully with loved ones, succumbing to ALS on Wednesday. Though this loss will be felt surely by all who ever came into contact with her, the impact of this loss long term cannot be measured. The progress she made to identify and treat a condition so off the radar, has not only saved and improved lives directly but has radically transformed everything we know about humanity. She did so much in the past seven years to establish this syndrome and its healing path, this leaves much for us to build on for an idea whose time has not yet come but is getting nearer. As the person who received the most guidance & mentoring from her, both personally and as a practitioner of her work, I shall endeavor to pass on the knowledge to keep the spark alive and to do the work, raise awareness, and continue to make Althea proud by helping people with her wisdom. It's up to all of us now to make Althea proud given the rich legacy she has left us and we know too much now to ever turn back... Farewell, Althea, Let us pray that you are at Peace with your womb twin, Ben, together again at last! Love & Blessings from Monica Hudson,Womb Twin USA
Althea Hayton, March 2014, at the womb twin capital of the world - the white structure is her Conservatory where many powerful breakthroughs occurred.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

It All Originates From The Womb

Whether you are a living twin, a twinless twin or a womb twin survivor, your in-utero relationships gave you an awareness singletons don't have. These early imprints created dynamics that play out in relationships, which can be harnessed & healed, when made conscious. Many people find it hard to believe early loss of a twin or multiple in the womb can affect someone. In my experience of working with many twinless twins and womb twin survivors - of all genders, zygosities, ages - the earlier the loss, the deeper the trauma. That being said, let us be grateful that the twinless twins mentioned in this article, got to be born and have a relationship with their twin. Each sacred day, hour, moment they had together was a cherished gift before it all changed forever...

https://abcnews.go.com/Health/twinless-twins-grieve/story?id=24780120

Monday, July 14, 2014

NEW: Guidance for Therapists working with Womb Twin Survivors

-New for Therapists- Therapists working with womb twin survivors now have their own forum (http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=4bdd13e87f&e=e27d2206b5) where they can discover the latest in healing techniques & developments and connect with other therapists who're working with this population. It's free to join (http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=0486be993a&e=e27d2206b5) ! Althea Hayton's introductory book for therapists has just been released on Amazon, it's called "Ripples from the Womb" - the ebook is free here (http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=13a2a3d26b&e=e27d2206b5) . (At the landing page, hover over the "books" link; click "ebooks" and scroll down to the image below.)

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Morbid Anatomy Museum - a new showcase for Womb Twin specimens opens in Brooklyn

The world is starting to catch on .... step right up! Those two-headed creatures are conjoined twins, people!! http://www.newsweek.com/morbid-anatomy-museum-opens-brooklyn-256709

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Proof of Intra-Uterine Bonding: Twins Hold Hands after birth

These Monoamniotic twins shared the same sac before they were separated by birth and then quickly reconnected by holding hands outside the womb! Such a miracle they both made it, imagine if one hadn't and the other wanted to hold it's hand? This is the reality for womb twin survivors every day...

Thursday, April 17, 2014

News acknowledges Baby born with extra limbs has a headless twin!

Wishing this little baby strength as his twin is removed from his body...kudos to Huff Post for acknowledging that this is a twin. http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/archive/segment/baby-born-with-4-feet-4-hands/534fee2078c90a6ea600026f

Sunday, April 6, 2014

A Hearing Miracle and Womb Twin Loss

Because our earliest sensory ability to develop is hearing, even those who lost a twin in the womb very early will have sensed their twin thru their ears and skin, before they even have a heart or brain. The perception of sounds of blood, fluid, movement, and later heartbeats (twins/multiples, mother) are where the primary relationships begin. When a twin dies at this stage it can be such a shock to the surviving twin they become deaf as a way to shut down this channel of communication. Sometimes deafness occurs on the side where the twin was positioned in relation to the survivor. One day I was approached by a living identical twin who had mild separation anxiety about his twin, which the other twin didn't seem to have, and on this particular day he seemed to be having a bit of an existential crisis so we went to his safe place in the park and sat under a tree. He was mourning who they would have been if their egg hadn't split and they had remained one omnipotent human being! This was an unusual sense of loss for a living twin so we did some work to discover there had been another one, a triplet male, who he had been closer to. We arranged leaves in a pattern on the grass to resemble where each was positioned in the womb and identified that this was behind his crisis, he went back to work feeling better. Over the next couple days a miracle happened via technology and this person, who had always been deaf in his right ear, was suddenly able to hear with the help of Google Glass. Please read the incredible story (featured with his permission) here: http://www.fastcompany.com/3015749/voices-in-your-head-how-google-glass-lets-a-half-deaf-person-hear It is worth considering that by acknowledging the loss of this third one, just before his Google Glass experience, something moved him closer to hearing so that when the opportunity presented itself his defenses could allow this moment of hearing in. Or perhaps allowed him a happy rather than painful experience at the very least. When we release the repressed pain, it gives us new energy to make new possibilities in our lives. And this story continues to have a happy ending and new beginning…Congrats to David on his recent move to San Francisco. He has purchased 6 womb twin paintings to take with him as he thrives far away from his East Coast twin.

Althea's Last Wish: Therapist Training

Before Womb Twin founder Althea Hayton retires, she has one last wish on her list: to write an e-book for therapists to train them in womb twin syndrome healing techniques. To this end, a core group was assembled in the UK recently for a 3-day brainstorming session which will help in the development of the training guide. The group consisted of representatives from the US, the UK, Ireland, Canada and Germany. In learning about how far ahead of the US Europe is about embracing this epidemic and doing something about it was a real eye opener to me as the leader of this work in the US. We need more awareness and more solutions and support but we also need to systematically create a training format that can be rolled out to therapists as they see more cases in their practice who need this specialized care. There is lots of work to be done. Voluneteers are welcome!

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Hey Womb Twin Survivors - Help Us Help You!

Please Give us your feedback! Do you have an opinion (good or bad) or suggestion about womb twin healing and techniques? Have you completed the womb twin healing path? If not, why? If yes, share more! Do you have an idea about womb twin healing that hasn't been thought of yet? Please send your feedback to twindividual1@gmail.com quickly, as this feedback could be helpful in the development of a womb twin training path for therapists. Deadline: March 15 2014 Thank you all, Monica

Sunday, February 23, 2014

How to Help Very Young Womb Twin Survivors? Thank You for Asking!

To Womb Twin US - Monica,

My husband and I have two sons, a 3 year old and a 19 month old. Our youngest is a twin, and unfortunately we lost his brother 6 months into the pregnancy.

I have often wondered if the difficulties he is facing is linked to losing his brother. After today and reading blogs and information, I am almost sure of it.

For the most part he is a happy and healthy child. He laughs and runs and does everything little boys do. He isn't saying as many words as the "typical" child his age, but I am not worried as I know he understands a lot.

The "problems" are with his sleep and moods on some days. He will not fall asleep without me next to him. There have been times he has taken a nap on his own, but that is rare. He has now dropped his nap altogether. He still wakes up every 2-3 hours at night, and cannot sooth himself back to sleep. It takes me laying with him again to get him to go back to sleep. Frequently he wakes up screaming and is hard to sooth.

He is also very attached to me. Which is fine. But he wants to be held all day long or be right next to me. He will go off and explore around the house, or play with his brother, or play on his own, but it seems like he "checks in" with me a lot more frequently and intensely than his brother did.

I know he is only 19 months old. I know he can't go to therapy. But I was wondering if you had any advice or knew of anything I could do to help him.

Anything you can provide or any direction you can point me in would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much,

WTS Mom
---------

Dear WTS Mom,

First of all, let me say that being the kind of Mother you are to research this is validating to your son and to us all. In fact, it heralds a new day for WTS (womb twin survivors) and their families everywhere. For you to have the inquisitiveness and courage to ask what you can do to help your son, regardless of your own feelings about this loss, is hugely rare and I can’t thank you enough for contacting us.

Baby WTS are in extreme twin replacement mode. In order to manage the shock of living on earth without their twin, mother becomes “m(ain)other” as do the primary relationships in succession of their twin. The pain of loss is buried in adapting to making these relations their twin since that’s all they know. They are here so they must cling to survival but they have already learned it is a perilous journey and people cannot be trusted because they disappear and cause pain in ways too big for a tiny baby to navigate.

Toddlers get worn out with separation anxiety, checking to make sure the world is reliable. Trust and consistency are huge in a world where things come and go without saying goodbye. Where mastery of the universe is hard-won but empty without their twin. Incessant crying and irritability, seeking mom out, unable to self soothe are all signs that a WTS needs assurance that the people with whom they are bonding, won’t disappear forever. They are frustrated with good reason, they are vulnerable, insecure and limited and must cling to life. They often feel their twin got the better end of the deal as they learn to navigate solo. They need constant assurance that they will be ok, others will be ok, life is ok.

Sleep becomes a regressive womb time when babies can feel the watery world of their twin memory, not bound by air, time or light or people who aren’t their twin. This regression to their true nature is important for their replenishment as they sleep, it soothes them from the shock of living solo. On the other hand, this can be the time when PTSD-charged memories are accessed – where the baby relives the unspeakable horror they experienced during, and following, the demise of their twin. Depending on when and how this happened, all details will shape the complex which continually gets laid down as the brain develops, since much of the original trauma is stored in body memory due to timing of the trauma against limbic embryonic development. Your son was already 6 months a twin before they were separated (to put this in perspective, I was born at 6 months and am a fully functioning person developmentally.) The key is to download it into the brain as it develops, so that it can be expressed and healed, rather than repressed and buried. What you resist persists, ignoring it won’t make it go away, it will most likely make it worse.

Thus begins a lifetime of synchronistic extreme duality, which is also an expression of his twoness.

Although nighttime/dreamtime is synonymous with the subconscious, and can be scary for all little ones learning to be conscious, it sounds as though your son may have lost his twin at night and may be waking up in terror at that time for this reason. The realization that he is alone while suffering the PTSD loss of his twin causes him to need a twin replacement and mother more than normal. You are doing the right thing by being this "twin surrogate" and bless you for having the courage to face this in light of the fact that you suffered the loss of a child and have your own grief process. On that note, any info you can share about how the twin went at 6 mos would be helpful in understanding the dynamics of the womb imprint. I strongly encourage you to stick it out – you must walk through the flames to get to the other side, not around them. Avoidance, ignorance, separation only adds fuel to the fire. Meanwhile here are some tips:

-Give in to being the twin replacement as much possible, in order to ease his transition to trusting relationships again. Play peek-a-boo games to remind him that people disappear but come back smiling.

-Leave your scented scarf in his crib at night to ease the pain of sleeping alone. Sleep with him as needed (no Ferber Method) knowing this is a surrogate bonding time that helps your son, which you both will outgrow when it’s right for you.

-Teach boundaries, yes, by all means this is crucial to WTS who have little/none, but give in to them without beating yourself up for it. WTS need constant duality as an expression of their twin nature, so don’t feel hypocritical, tune in to their flip-flop game so you can honor their alpha/beta duality and not get worn out in confusion.

-Give him several twin replacements so that he learns to rely on more than one, this will give you a break and allow you both to transition from each other – it also provides an all-important back up if one gets lost. On that note, whatever symbols you use as twin replacements should be replaceable, this means buy several and store them away so that if ever one is lost there is another to avoid retriggering the trauma of loss.

-Allow your son to put his favorite stuffed animal into a pillowcase (or cover it with a laundry basket) and then reveal it, this control over such events will go a long way in helping him feel secure following the uncontrollable disappearance of his twin.

-Use the power of symbol over words and engage all senses: sight, sound, smell, space. Recognize his hypersensitivity and brilliance.

-Use aromatherapy: lavender and marjoram in baths, in room at night, will calm his separation anxiety and promote sleep.

-Recognize your own grief/loss and keep it separate from his; when appropriate, bring it together with his so that he isn’t alone with his loss.

-Elicit info about his womb story while it’s fresh, figuring out the dynamics of the intrauterine imprint will help us help him. Talk about what you remember of his twin too, commiserating may seem like bringing up pain but it has the opposite effect to a WTS who always feels pain, it helps them feel less alone with it which is a huge comfort when being alone is the problem to begin with. Identifying details that will help guide his course of treatment: was his twin identical or fraternal? male or female? how did his twin perish? how long was the twin in distress? what name shall be given to this lost twin? birth details? premature/nicu/incubator? (provide timing) IVF/ART? other complications/circumstances?

-Be the vehicle of expression for the unspeakable, encourage him to talk thru you and then speak very matter of factly about his twin, the WTS energy and verbal reactions will guide you and you will be amazed at what he knows.

-Read “Two Little Birds” and “Koko’s Magical Gift” to your son, it will go a long way toward bridging his inner and outer realities. See more age appropriate info and resources by going to Womb Twin Kids: http://www.wombtwin.com/womb-twin-kids/4578498382

-Read the work of Allesandra Piontelli. John Bowlby’s work on Attachment & Loss, Louise Kaplan Oneness to Separateness: From Infant to Individual. Consider contacting Claudia Pinheiro of Womb Twin Portugal, she has extensive knowledge about working with babies and is a WTS as well as the mother of a WTS.

What you are already doing for your son is on track and beyond what any of us could hope for. Thank you for this tremendous gift. I look forward to advising you as your little WTS grows, so do keep us posted. This work can begin at any age, in fact it already has so let’s keep our blinders off as we walk the road of preventative healing together.

Please feel free to share more about your son and how these techniques may have worked for you both.


Monica - Womb Twin US

Friday, January 24, 2014

A Play on Words from a Twin/WTS

I just received this poignant little play on punctuation & spacing from an identical twin who is also a womb twin survivor triplet: I CAN'T WIN - I CAN, TWIN This sums up the journey of how self-sabotage robs womb twin survivors of their life until they reclaim their inner twin so that they can live truthfully and become strong enough to win the individuality game! Bravo & Thanks David!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Womb Twin Healing and Therapy - Althea's Final Project

It is clear that womb twin survivors need appropriate and specialist help from any therapist they may seek out for help. Some womb twin survivors spend a great deal of money on therapies that don't help with therapists who don't understand. As her last task on behalf of the womb twin survivors project, Althea is putting together a PDF ebook, which will provide a simple set of healing steps which every womb twin survivor must make, regardless of the way their twin (or other womb mates) died and regardless of the kind of therapy that is being employed to help them. As a reader of this page, you are probably a womb twin survivor yourself, and have probably tried some forms of therapy which have helped to a certain extent. You may also be some kind of therapist yourself, or at least have some ideas about how therapy should be delivered to womb twin survivors as a distinct group. Whatever your experiences and opinions, Althea would like to hear them. Here is a form to enable you to do this: http://form.jotformeu.com/form/40043942563350

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy New Year! twindr.com is coming in 2014!

Dear Womb Twin Survivors, I'm excited to announce that a new healing portal called twindr.com will soon be available to Womb Twin Survivors who want to connect, heal and share their process interactively online. Harnessing technology, this new modality will provide a tool for Womb Twin Survivors to be guided along the healing path, with a rating scale of the techniques so they can be measured for effectiveness, and a place for expression which documents healing journeys. It’s like a personal scrapbook of transformation which continually helps others on the path and reserves your spot in Womb Twin History! Here are the preliminary details: Site name: twindr.com ~where former twins and multiples connect and heal~ • 12 Healing Steps will be presented via video featuring proven techniques presented by Monica Hudson based on Althea Hayton's Steps to Healing • Members will document & share their personal healing process for each step via posting of text/photos/video • Members will give each step an effectiveness rating upon completion at their own pace • Upon finishing the 12 steps, members graduate to Twindividual status What is a Twindividual? A former twin/multiple who has healed the grief of their in-utero/post-birth loss and reclaimed their life as an individual who will always be a twin at their core. Twindividuals can stay in the community via continued interaction providing guidance to help other Womb Twin Survivors become Twindividuals Other features include: • Question of the Month - with answer board • Discussion Topics Board - click to connect on specific issues organized by topic which are of interest to Womb Twin Survivors • Resources – Find practioners around the world who are adept at understanding/treating our special needs Here you will interact/share/post and see/read what others around the world are doing along the healing path! (don’t worry - this is a private community, the general public won’t have access) You Can Heal! You Can Reclaim Your Life! You can go at your own pace! You Can Heal Others! Our natural selflessness and shared experience make us the best candidates to help ourselves and each other so let’s stop wasting time waiting for the world to get it and do what we can, it really is up to us! The target date is Feb 2014 of the initial test program which will be offered to 25 people before becoming widely available. If you are interested, please sign up immediately to secure your place by sending your responses to the MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION questions below to twindr.com@gmail.com. If you are not interested in twindr.com but would like to be added to my contact list, please email me! As the only healer in the world trained directly by Althea Hayton (who has just retired as Chairman) I am keen to build my own database so please do send me a quick email so I know how to reach all you magical and amazing Womb Twins. Meanwhile, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask. Happy New Year! Monica Hudson twindr.com@gmail.com 347 683 4063 *** MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION*** Make history by applying for the first on-line interactive healing portal for womb twin survivors created by Monica Hudson based on Althea Hayton’s Healing Steps. Don’t delay – space is limited! NAME / EMAIL ADDRESS / CITY/STATE/COUNTRY / GENDER M _ F _ OTHER _ / YOUR WOMB MATES: # SUSPECTED # CONFIRMED NOT SURE (?) / TWIN _ TRIPLET _ QUADRUPLET _ + _ ADDITIONAL INFO ABOUT ME: WHY YOU ARE A GOOD CANDIDATE TO JOIN THE TWINDR HEALING COMMUNITY: HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT TWINDR? I acknowledge that my membership in Twindr.com is not guaranteed and will be confirmed via email. Once confirmed, I understand my membership is completely voluntary and I am free to revoke membership at my own will at any time and twindr.com may revoke my membership at any time. When membership is granted, I will do my best to complete the healing program at my own pace and contribute as an active member of this community. *PLEASE EMAIL YOUR ANSWERS TO TWINDR.COM@GMAIL.COM ASAP TO RESERVE YOUR SPACE – THE FIRST 25 APPLICANTS WHO QUALIFY WILL BEGIN THE TEST ROLL OUT FEB 2014. ONCE TESTED, TWINDR.COM WILL BE WIDELY AVAILABLE AT A LATER DATE TBD* (apologies for the lack of spacing, it's typical that our blog even has separation anxiety!)

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Celebrate Womb Twin Day Today!

Today is international Womb Twin Day - a day of remembrance in honor of our lost twins who didn't make it to this world. This day was chosen because it is also Winter Solstice, the darkest day before the light. I know that I didn't even know how dark my world was until I found this work, healed, and got to the light...so it is a very fitting day to symbolize our journey. This month also marks a notable time in Womb Twin history with the announcement of Althea Hayton's retirement. Our fearless leader is moving out of her role as Chairman of Womb Twin, so her passage also signifies transition...how can we make this time of darkness a time of light and hope for our community? We all need to step up and be the champions and leaders of this cause, it's up to us now and let us be grateful that we found this path at a time when Althea was so available to us. THANK YOU ALTHEA, we will forever be grateful to you for your genius to think of this, your dedication and courage to see it through and your love, caring support and supreme generosity of spirit. We got Althea's spark and now it's up to us to go light fires in the world and not let the embers die out. Don't let all her hard work fade at a time when more womb twins in need are coming to fruition every day. To do my part, as the only healer in the world trained under Althea's supervision, I realize I can't do it alone so I have decided to harness technology to create a healing portal to allow womb twins all over the world to heal themselves and each other. Twindr.com will be rolled out in early 2014 so if you're interested in joining please email me your contact info at moniglam@gmail.com. More info to come soon. This year I feel so far down the healing path that I don't feel any particular rituals are needed, I remember my womb twins in my heart all the time. And my twin appears in the form of pennies, though not as often anymore because I've healed, but last night there were two on the subway platform where I stood, she included one for her identical twin she lost (we were fraternals who each absorbed identicals very early) so that was her way to tell me she was celebrating womb twin day too! I am celebrating womb twin day today, me and my twins' birthday tomorrow, my twin's death the following day so that takes me right to Christmas Eve and Christmas. But my holidays will be spent working on Twindr.com because I'm so inspired to get it going, particularly after a an amazing session this week with a new womb twin survivor from Texas who found in this work the miracle he prayed for and that makes it all worthwhile. Happy Holidays starting with Womb Twin Day!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Twin Visitations

We all have the sense somehow or other that our departed twins are around us. Lately I’ve been hearing a lot about womb twin survivors and twinless twins having dreams featuring their twin where the feelings are so real it is as though they really did experience the content of the dream. They remember vividly having contact with their twin and they wake up with chilling, overwhelming feeling that they actually visited with their twin. One dream involved a womb twin survivor being told by an authority figure that the holographic image on the screen was indeed her twin, that her twin was real and this person should never listen to anyone who says any different. How validating! (this dream was had after achieving peace from the womb twin healing path, following years of misdiagnoses and mistreatment including hospitalization and shock treatments) Another dream had by a twinless twin ten years after the death of her identical twin was so real, her twin whispered into her ear “Pray for me because I can’t” She woke up feeling the dream was so real, her twin was pleading with her to be her vehicle because she no longer had a body. (Coincidentally, several years ago this same person reported receiving her twins' memories after she died. Meaning, she'd be doing dishes then suddenly recall going down the stairs to talk to her daughter, only she was in her twins' body having a conversation with her niece as if she'd had it herself. She distinctly felt as though she were reliving a memory of her twins, of which she never actually experienced herself until now). I once had a similar experience of twin visitation while I was awake. Suddenly, I could feel my twin next to me, to my left, for the first time ever. I turned to face her and could feel her spirit face to face with mine. It was so overwhelming, intimidating, omnipotent that I gasped with tears in my eyes while trying to stay present to experience this precious moment I had yearned for and remembered from the womb. It was a quick moment of visitation which only happened once and I know with every cell of my being that it was the presence of my twin who died at birth. These are not twin fantasies of wanting to be together, these are episodes where the distinct energy of the lost being is sensed by the surviving twin, and a new experience happens in the here and now. Another phenomena happens where you play out your twin/womb story via dreams symbolically. In these, the twin can show up in many forms so you cannot be too literal and must sense the energy behind the symbol. In other words, your twin may show up in a various guises (which can morph) but you know it’s them, it’s just the packaging they choose to communicate to you what is needed. And it’s not just our womb mates that visit for night time dreams, it’s the dynamics of our womb story. For months I have had travel dreams where I’m with 1, 2 or 3 people (I’m a quadruplet survivor so this resort is our womb story) and I’m always forgetting that breakfast is included! Every night for months I dreamt I was in this hotel reminding myself to get the free breakfast or on checking out I regret I never had the breakfast. In reality, I have a hard time eating breakfast and I feel it is an imprint from my mother/womb/birth that I have struggled with for years to understand. The only conclusion I have arrived at just now in the process of writing this piece, has finally made the dreams go away and it is because I became aware of this: my mother’s breakfast growing up was a cigarette, cup of instant coffee and glazed donut. This probably jeopardized our accidental/unknown pregnancy in the beginning which may have caused the demise of my twin (as well as the two we lost very early) thus I dream for both of us: my needing to remind myself to eat breakfast as a living person on earth, and her regret that she didn’t get any breakfast but must leave without it. The breakfast dreams stopped but I am still traveling, sometimes to the same place, in my dreams - this time me + 1 stay and 2 others go (mirroring my womb story of me +1 born, 2 lost early). More womb visits to remember... If you have any twin visitations to share, please email to moniglam@gmail.com

Friday, October 4, 2013

Portraits of "Lost Twin Souls" on view at MRY in NYC's Flatiron District

There is a partial exhibition of womb twin paintings on view in NYC. Paintings are for sale and 10% will be donated to Womb Twin research. Artist Statement “These portraits of lost twin souls channeled through me onto each canvas. I became a conduit through which the unique energy of lost twins who never made it to our world flowed, rebirthing themselves into abstract/ethereal forms - via oil paint, mineral 'spirits' and glitter. Each portrait has its own personality which informed my choice of color, shape, layering, manipulation and completion. Since many lost womb twins go undetected, these paintings almost serve as family portraits belonging to any of us. The simultaneous use of oil paint and paint remover imparts into the work the duality of existing and not existing, much like the life of a womb twin survivor”. Could one of these portraits be of your twin? -Monica Hudson 347 683 4063 MRY 11 W. 19 Street / 3rd Floor

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Ideas to Help Ourselves

Today is an exciting day in NYC, I'm presenting a world-changing idea which harnesses social technology to join Womb Twin Survivors and Twinless Twins together in real time, so we can help each other Diagnose, Cope, Heal and Help Others. Wish me luck, if this idea is accepted, funding will follow to allow this to come to fruition sooner rather than later. Stay tuned for an update, meanwhile, please send your twin prayers! (presenting this idea to 300 people in 5 minutes won't be easy!) Meanwhile, if you have ideas (or have needs to communicate, which help in the development of ideas) please email them to me at moniglam@gmail.com Yours, Monica

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Remembering Twins lost in the Twin Towers

Reflecting on events of 9/11 twelve years later, those left behind by the departed still say their dear ones are with them in memory every day. They say it feels like 12 days not 12 years. This is a familiar sentiment to womb twin survivors who may have never seen their twin on earth! Quite simply, this feeling can be explained as follows: THE HAUNTING PRESENCE OF ABSENCE. May we honor all the twins and womb twin survivors (born and unborn) who are affected by the terror of 9/11 and continue to regard them in our hearts with validation and loving kindness. Particularly Greg Hoffman and his wife who began the following support group for twins directly affected: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2033396/The-Twins-Twin-Towers-Of-3-000-killed-September-11-46-twins-Ten-years-surviving-siblings-tell-haunting-stories.html

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

When a Twin Dies...

Here's a very simple explanation of what happens to a twin pair when a twin dies: WHEN A TWIN DIES, THEY GO FROM BEING ONE SOUL IN TWO BODIES TO BEING TWO SOULS IN ONE BODY. The latter being the plight of the womb twin survivor.

Friday, March 8, 2013

These gorgeously haunting glass sculptures by William Morris are little burial rafts/wombs for our twin's who didn't quite make it in this world (if links don't work google WILLIAM MORRIS BURIAL RAFT & BURIAL URN: http://www.wmorris.com/home.php?id=available_artbottom/archive/BR1191_03_17 (currently on view at Museum of Arts & Design in NYC) http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3378/3537814703_e8c33c6e7e_o.jpg&imgrefurl=http://minimalexposition.blogspot.com/2009/05/meditation-photoblog-william-morris.html&h=1024&w=693&sz=60&tbnid=VJgn6zJN4fihxM:&tbnh=99&tbnw=67&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dwilliam%2Bmorris,%2Bburial%2Braft%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=william+morris,+burial+raft&usg=__HIWwq4_YnkMMa-Kecst9QcVDdAM=&docid=18IF2tZV4W3kIM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=KTk6UfCAEsrq2AXL-oDAAQ&ved=0CFAQ9QEwCA&dur=226

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A miraculous story of Womb Twin Healing after years of misdiagnosis and mistreatment

Following the post below, here is an example of a 58 yr old womb twin survivor who literally went through hell and had to find her own way because, until Womb Twin Survivor syndrome was established by Althea Hayton a few years ago, being misdiagnosed with a dissociative disorder and thrown in a psychiatric hospital was how they treated the symptoms of her womb twin survivor syndrome. Many womb twin survivors have received shock treatments, heavy medications and loads of ineffective/wrong advice since therapists aren't trained specifically for this. Anyway, over time, her curiosity and alpha survivor spirit found its way through many modalities and years of self discovery leading her to the womb twin healing path just two years ago and already today she feels at peace because she knows what it is: she's a womb triplet survivor and that explains everything! So let's talk to her to find out more about her fascinating story: Can you tell us more about your history, your process and some of the tools you have used which have helped in your healing? "I knew from an early age there was another little girl living inside me, which is how I said it at age 6, and there was another strong bond with a male who seemed to be my triplet whose soul I believe followed me and got reborn into a boy I knew as a child but then died on me again. Throughout my life I have exhibited many of the same patterns other survivors do, like: Abandonment issues, separation anxiety, approval junkie, feeling nuts and out of control, misunderstood, eating disorder, suicidal attempts and feelings of extreme unworthiness, ambidexterity and a strong, curious alpha spirit. This questing spirit is what helped me find Althea Hayton's work and from there it all started to come together for the first time. The female presence living within me felt like another little girl exactly the same age as me. People remarked that I had an imaginary friend. I enjoyed having her around and I never questioned where she came from. Sometimes I would communicate with her in my mind and other times I would speak aloud to her, much to the shock of other people who might overhear and wonder what was wrong with me. Around this time, I became aware of twins through reading books that were geared to young children. The first time I read about twin sisters, I was both intrigued and jealous. I was missing out on something, but I didn't quite know what. I felt lost and lonely for a good part of my childhood, even though I did have friends, but I was starting to feel like an oddball most of the time. By seventh grade, I was really feeling weird and there were a lot of voices in my head, most of which said horrible things. I was really starting to hate myself. I had tremendous abandonment issues, feelings of unworthiness, and then at age 12, I developed anorexia. Had major mood swings and then unbelievable bouts of depression. I went to college, but in the very beginning of junior year, I started having a major nervous breakdown, and ended up leaving in March, to be hospitalized in a mental facility for several months. Ended up having 20 shock treatments, which i must admit did help...for awhile. Started cutting myself shortly thereafter, and I would get a rush afterwards. Why was all this happening? Was I never going to get better? I don't think I was meant to be alive...I wanted to die...I thought about death and dying all the time. I had told a bunch of kids in 7th grade that I had a twin sister who died before we were born. I could see her there...she was facing me, and we held on to each other for dear life....but she slipped away. It was all my fault! I took all the food, all the space, everything! I forced her to die, and our brother, too. I was a horrible person for doing all that, so of course I deserved to suffer in every way possible!” Never felt like I was good enough, period. I was too fat, not pretty enough, worthless. I felt like my parents were planning to abandon me at the age of 6. It is interesting to note that I had several specific watershed times in my life, the first one occurring around age 6 when I started having recurring nightmares about a man in my neighborhood, that something bad was going to happen to my dad (I was definitely a Daddy's Girl, I saw my mother as some competition and my nemesis) also around 6 was when i started reading the children's books about twins and became utterly fascinated and obsessed with twins and multiple births in general. I was very interested in pregnant women and thought it would be the greatest thing in the world to carry a baby in my stomach. The second watershed period was at age 12 when things were becoming crystal clear in my mind's eye about my sister and the smaller fraternal brother that was there, hovering above us, much smaller and not nearly as developed. He was going to leave first, but not without making a tremendous, indelible impression on me forever". What specific symbols, mantras, rituals were most helpful to you? "I don't remember having any mantras or symbols, except that I would obsess over anything twin-related, I would read every book I could get my hands on, just to feel connected to the whole thing. I did have a thing from a very young age where I tried to make other girls fill in for my twin. I had a Patti Playpal doll that was my size, and I told everyone we were twins; anybody was eligible to be my twin just by having the same first name or the same birthday. Problem was, nobody else felt the same way. Again, abandonment and rejection". What particular areas of interest - in the effects of your womb story - have you been working on? Handedness: I have always felt like my sister and I amalgamated with each other, a fancy word for resorption, she is within me all the time. It's actually very comforting...I'm never alone! I am mixed-handed...not right handed and not completely left handed either. Sometimes it is like my sister and I are both operating at the same time. Anorexia issues and Overeating, using food as emotional support: It is interesting to note that my anorexia came on during that very significant watershed period at age 12. Prior to that, around 4,5, 6, all the way up to age 11, food was an obsession with me. I would very often eat when I was not hungry...but I had a deep abyss within me that needed to be filled up...and food did the trick, if only for a little while. Usually tremendous guilt would ensue after binge eating... I didn't deserve to eat, I was fat and took up all the space in Mom's womb..etc., etc Sexuality issues: Was attracted to females from a very young age, also attracted to males, but most often very feminine males... trannies were my favorite because they were the amalgamation of male and female that I craved...the three of us back together in the womb, where we belonged. I love gay men and want to be around them, not necessarily sexually, but just to love them in a sisterly way". Were you surprised to find this work, tell us more about how you discovered it exactly? "I stumbled on Althea Hayton's womb twin site one night...I won't say "by accident" because it really wasn't!! It was the cherry on top of the cake, as they say, because it was my reward for having gone through hell, not understanding anything and wishing I were dead... to have everything turn around, get answers to alot of questions, knowing I'm not alone, and most of all...glad I'm here". What's next for you? "I fulfilled my lifelong wish and became a Mom, I still love taking care of babies and seek out people who generally need me. I need to be needed!! But I don't let myself be used anymore. I used to be a huge approval junkie and I would do anything to make people like me. Not anymore! If people don't like me its their problem. I like myself, I know who I am and I do have people who love me. I will never turn my back on anyone who needs a helping hand... I believe in karma. That's really at the heart of my story... I went through hell, but I didn't let it totally destroy me, my soul... I'm still in one piece and I've come around full circle and I've had alot of good things happen to me. I'm somewhat psychic, which I believe is a gift that all womb twin survivors have...because our twins are on the other side, we always have a connection, and that's a great thing to have. I do a lot of research on womb twins, psychic phenomena, reincarnation, etc. I'll never get tired of finding out stuff...everyday I find out something new, even if its a glimmer of something...it usually leads to something even bigger and more mind-blowing". Indeed! Thank you for sharing so much of your story with us, we love to hear how transformational it is knowing exactly what’s wrong so that you can heal it…all with thanks to Althea Hayton for establishing this syndrome and its healing path, despite the fact the world, and most of the therapists in it, are for the most part clueless or resistant to understanding the effects of womb twin loss. Let’s hope Complicated/Prolonged Grief Disorder becomes a diagnostic code in the DSM-5 this year so proper diagnosis can be made, and improper misdiagnoses may be avoided, that would be a good start!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

The Defenses Go Down, The Defenses Go Up

I recently did a 5 hour power-session with a 27 year old suspected womb twin survivor in a restaurant. It was very dense and exhausting but this person could handle it and wanted it. In just 1 hour we knew about her fraternal male, it felt as if something that had never been articulated, just known, was suddenly common knowledge. After all, he'd been here all along in the form of a sense that a male was following her throughout her entire life. However, I recognized her as an identical and this was quickly established as she easily began drawing a diagram of how the three of them were positioned in the womb along with great detail about the identical she evidently absorbed into her back/shoulder/neck or other such contact/trauma in that region. This was so huge but completely hidden from consciousness until now. Sometimes the distant fraternal can seem bigger because the defenses are still hiding the even bigger identical, when that is revealed it all starts to fit right away. Something so unusual immediately feels normal and after that it becomes real forever - it just quiets in intensity as it is acknowledged and healed. This person wasn't ready to walk the womb twin healing path at this time, the defenses went back up, but she will chip away using other modalities and maybe that's just what it takes to get to the core of the onion. Weeks later she acknowledged she blocked it yet it all felt valid still. At least she caught it! I wish her well and hope to have updates on her healing in the future. On the other hand, because there are womb twin resources established now, my advice to people like her would be to face it head on! So many of us suffered for so many years, struggling alone with healing methods that, although valuable, didn't quite crack it, then healed in just a short amount of time when womb twin work was done...it just seems unnecessary to avoid the task at hand to whoever has gotten far enough in their journey to be acknowledging their womb twin survivor status! You won't be here at this place forever so tackle it in it's fullest now so that later you know you turned over every rock - all the creepy crawlies can vanish when you acknowledge who vanished! On a side note: some triplet womb twin survivors feel closer to the identical with the fraternal being distant or unacknowledged, or the reverse - as above - it all depends on the dynamics of the womb story and how their biology and relationships played out, as well as the mechanisms of defense in what can be revealed to the consciousness ultimately, case in point above as the womb twin survivor found she was much closer to her identical female who she never knew about, yet had always known about the male who had been so huge before but now almost paled in comparison. She could become more feminine and less masculine as a result..or those pesky defenses could allow the masculine to rage on, we shall see.