Opening on February 1, 2012, a group art show on the subject of "Diversity" will be on exhibition for one month at Madison Avenue + 50th Street in NYC. One of the artists, womb twin survivor Monica Hudson, will show a body of work entitled, "Lost Twin Souls" made up of 60 9"x9" abstract oil paintings.
"These 'portraits' of lost twin souls channeled through me onto each canvas. I became a conduit through which the unique energy of lost twins who never made it to our world flowed, rebirthing themselves into abstract/ethereal forms - via oil paint, mineral 'spirits' and glitter - which could be recognized and revered, rather than ignored and unseen. Each portrait has its own personality which informed my choices of color, shape, layering, manipulation and completion. Since many lost womb twins go undetected, these paintings almost serve as family portraits belonging to any of us. The simultaneous use of oil paint and paint remover imparts into the work the duality of existing and not existing, much like the life of a wombtwin survivor. The visual articulation of this process was in itself deeply satisfying to me, not to mention the communion of twinship experienced by having these souls around."
Could one of these portraits be your twin?
For a sneak peek of the work, visit www.twindividual.com - "Monica's Art"
In addition to the paintings, Monica will exhibit a 9-photo collage on the subject of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
To get more details or an invitation to the show, please email: moniglam@gmail.com
Cheers,
Monica
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Womb Twin Loss at Birth -or- Baby Stealing???
This is a story about twin/baby stealing in Spain, but when you think about it, this could have gone on anywhere at anytime. It sounds just like my story which took place in Michigan, USA in 1963 - my parents were told my twin died at birth but years later I was unable to locate any information about what happened to her. Although they donated her to science, there was no record of where she ended up. That may be customary for science donations, as I was told by the hospital and nearby university that she may have ended up in a mass grave or cremated. She could even be floating in a jar as a specimen for all I know. But reading this story made me think perhaps they could have falsified or exaggerated her condition to increase the chances of a science donation so that there would be less of a trail...I will never know if this is just a fantasy about looking for my twin or if this could really be the case. In any event, my heart goes out to the Vega family and I am thrilled they care enough to search for their son in case they can tell him he wasn't abandoned by them. They are wonderful parents!
Families fight to find children stolen as infants in Spain
Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:50 PM EST
By Kate Snow and Jessica Hopper
Rock Center
Luis Vega is on a mission to meet every man born in Madrid, Spain on Nov. 20, 1977. That's the day doctors told him that his baby son was stillborn, but he and his wife, Ines, believe their child was in fact stolen from the hospital.
“We have a son somewhere out there,” Luis Vega said.
The Vega family isn’t alone in believing their child was stolen. This year, more than a thousand families have come forward with claims that they were victims of baby trafficking committed by a variety of networks from the 1940s until as recently as the early 1990s.
Armed with a list of the 61 names of boys born in Madrid on the same day he lost his son, Vega is making calls and knocking on doors because he is convinced his son is alive.
“What we just want only, is to tell him, ‘You have not been abandoned,’” Vega said.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For Vega, the memory of his son’s birth is still fresh. He and his wife went to a hospital in Madrid on a Sunday in November 1977. They were already parents to one son and believed they were expecting just one more child when they received surprising news: they were having twins.
“I started to think, I got two,” Vega said. “So, I was absolutely excited, astonished.”
The excitement faded when doctors came to Vega and told him that one of the twins, a boy, was dead.
“I felt frozen,” he said.
Vega said the doctor told him, “I recommend you not see him.”
At that time in Spain, doctors were authority figures who were virtually unapproachable. Vega simply didn’t question that the doctor was telling the truth.
The doctor told Vega that the hospital would handle the burial of the baby boy. His wife, Ines, was under anesthesia and was unaware of what had happened. Vega ultimately told her the sad news.
The couple comforted one another and did their best to move on with their lives, raising their newborn daughter, Ana, and their older son.
Every year on Ana’s birthday, Luis and Ines talked about her twin, the boy they lost.
This January, Vega and his wife were eating lunch and watching TV when a news report stopped them cold and made them think that the son they’d lost 33 years ago might actually be alive.
An unbelievable story was exploding in the press, allegations that for decades, organized networks stole newborn babies from their mothers and sold the babies to other families. On January 27, more than 250 families filed cases with Spain’s attorney general. That number has since risen to nearly 1500 cases.
Vega and his wife requested documentation from the cemetery where they believed their son had been buried and sent a letter to the hospital where he had been born. Cemetery officials told them that no one had been buried at the cemetery with their family’s last name.
When Vega told his daughter, Ana, that her twin brother might be alive after all, she was shocked.
“I spent like a month with a knot in my stomach. I couldn’t eat,” she said.
Ana Vega created a blog to help in the search for her lost twin.
“We are not looking, you know, for revenge,” she said. “We just want to find him and that’s it and to, if he wants to, you know, be part of our family, great. If he doesn’t, well, you know, that’s his choice as well.”
If anyone is responsible for prompting the discovery of this dark part of Spain’s history, it is documentary filmmaker and author Montse Armengou. Armengou was among the very first to report on systematic baby stealing.
“In Spain, from a long period of time, from the ‘40s until ‘80s as a minimum, we can talk about children that were kidnapped from their families, from their mothers,” Armengou said.
It started as a form of political repression under Fascist dictator Francisco Franco. Franco seized power during the Spanish Civil War in the 1930s. Under his leadership, the government would remove children from mothers who were political prisoners and give them to families who supported the regime.
“[In] the beginning, [it] was a political repression and after became a moral and ideological repression against single mothers. You have to know that during the Franco’s regime, the power of Catholic Church was very, very strong,” Armengou said.
Doctors, often with the help of nuns, would tell young single mothers that their child was dead or force single mothers to give their children up for adoption. At the time, single young women were still considered minors until they were 26 years old.
“It’s impossible to ask for help because you are nothing,” Armengou said. “You are only a single mother. That means that you are nothing, you are garbage, you are waste.”
The political and moral repression became a booming business with families paying the equivalent of what it would cost for an apartment, in order to obtain a child.
For those who believe they are victims of the now defunct organized networks of baby stealing, the legal process has been frustratingly slow. Despite the hundreds of cases filed, no one has been charged with any crime.
“We’re moving as fast as we can. We’re dealing with cases that are incredibly difficult,” said prosecutor Pedro Crespo who has been tasked by Spain’s attorney general to coordinate the hundreds of official investigations across Spain.
Crespo said that the passage of time, incomplete records and the fact that many of those involved are already dead has hampered the investigations.
For some, like the Vega family, the doctor they hold responsible for stealing their child is still alive.
“This bastard has taken our life,” said an emotional Luis Vega.
Vega recently became the president of S.O.S. Bebes Robados Madrid, one of the organizations helping those who think they might be victims.
Vega said that he doesn’t expect he’ll ever truly get justice, but hopes ultimately he’ll find his son.
“I’m convinced,” Vega said. “Otherwise, why [am I] going to fight…I’m fighting for this and everything.”
Editor’s Note: Kate Snow’s full report, “Stolen At Birth,” airs on Rock Center with Brian Williams on Monday, Dec. 19 at 10 p.m./9 c.
Families fight to find children stolen as infants in Spain
Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:50 PM EST
By Kate Snow and Jessica Hopper
Rock Center
Luis Vega is on a mission to meet every man born in Madrid, Spain on Nov. 20, 1977. That's the day doctors told him that his baby son was stillborn, but he and his wife, Ines, believe their child was in fact stolen from the hospital.
“We have a son somewhere out there,” Luis Vega said.
The Vega family isn’t alone in believing their child was stolen. This year, more than a thousand families have come forward with claims that they were victims of baby trafficking committed by a variety of networks from the 1940s until as recently as the early 1990s.
Armed with a list of the 61 names of boys born in Madrid on the same day he lost his son, Vega is making calls and knocking on doors because he is convinced his son is alive.
“What we just want only, is to tell him, ‘You have not been abandoned,’” Vega said.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For Vega, the memory of his son’s birth is still fresh. He and his wife went to a hospital in Madrid on a Sunday in November 1977. They were already parents to one son and believed they were expecting just one more child when they received surprising news: they were having twins.
“I started to think, I got two,” Vega said. “So, I was absolutely excited, astonished.”
The excitement faded when doctors came to Vega and told him that one of the twins, a boy, was dead.
“I felt frozen,” he said.
Vega said the doctor told him, “I recommend you not see him.”
At that time in Spain, doctors were authority figures who were virtually unapproachable. Vega simply didn’t question that the doctor was telling the truth.
The doctor told Vega that the hospital would handle the burial of the baby boy. His wife, Ines, was under anesthesia and was unaware of what had happened. Vega ultimately told her the sad news.
The couple comforted one another and did their best to move on with their lives, raising their newborn daughter, Ana, and their older son.
Every year on Ana’s birthday, Luis and Ines talked about her twin, the boy they lost.
This January, Vega and his wife were eating lunch and watching TV when a news report stopped them cold and made them think that the son they’d lost 33 years ago might actually be alive.
An unbelievable story was exploding in the press, allegations that for decades, organized networks stole newborn babies from their mothers and sold the babies to other families. On January 27, more than 250 families filed cases with Spain’s attorney general. That number has since risen to nearly 1500 cases.
Vega and his wife requested documentation from the cemetery where they believed their son had been buried and sent a letter to the hospital where he had been born. Cemetery officials told them that no one had been buried at the cemetery with their family’s last name.
When Vega told his daughter, Ana, that her twin brother might be alive after all, she was shocked.
“I spent like a month with a knot in my stomach. I couldn’t eat,” she said.
Ana Vega created a blog to help in the search for her lost twin.
“We are not looking, you know, for revenge,” she said. “We just want to find him and that’s it and to, if he wants to, you know, be part of our family, great. If he doesn’t, well, you know, that’s his choice as well.”
If anyone is responsible for prompting the discovery of this dark part of Spain’s history, it is documentary filmmaker and author Montse Armengou. Armengou was among the very first to report on systematic baby stealing.
“In Spain, from a long period of time, from the ‘40s until ‘80s as a minimum, we can talk about children that were kidnapped from their families, from their mothers,” Armengou said.
It started as a form of political repression under Fascist dictator Francisco Franco. Franco seized power during the Spanish Civil War in the 1930s. Under his leadership, the government would remove children from mothers who were political prisoners and give them to families who supported the regime.
“[In] the beginning, [it] was a political repression and after became a moral and ideological repression against single mothers. You have to know that during the Franco’s regime, the power of Catholic Church was very, very strong,” Armengou said.
Doctors, often with the help of nuns, would tell young single mothers that their child was dead or force single mothers to give their children up for adoption. At the time, single young women were still considered minors until they were 26 years old.
“It’s impossible to ask for help because you are nothing,” Armengou said. “You are only a single mother. That means that you are nothing, you are garbage, you are waste.”
The political and moral repression became a booming business with families paying the equivalent of what it would cost for an apartment, in order to obtain a child.
For those who believe they are victims of the now defunct organized networks of baby stealing, the legal process has been frustratingly slow. Despite the hundreds of cases filed, no one has been charged with any crime.
“We’re moving as fast as we can. We’re dealing with cases that are incredibly difficult,” said prosecutor Pedro Crespo who has been tasked by Spain’s attorney general to coordinate the hundreds of official investigations across Spain.
Crespo said that the passage of time, incomplete records and the fact that many of those involved are already dead has hampered the investigations.
For some, like the Vega family, the doctor they hold responsible for stealing their child is still alive.
“This bastard has taken our life,” said an emotional Luis Vega.
Vega recently became the president of S.O.S. Bebes Robados Madrid, one of the organizations helping those who think they might be victims.
Vega said that he doesn’t expect he’ll ever truly get justice, but hopes ultimately he’ll find his son.
“I’m convinced,” Vega said. “Otherwise, why [am I] going to fight…I’m fighting for this and everything.”
Editor’s Note: Kate Snow’s full report, “Stolen At Birth,” airs on Rock Center with Brian Williams on Monday, Dec. 19 at 10 p.m./9 c.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Womb Twin Art Exhibition Coming to NYC!
Opening on January 26, 2012, this group art show on the subject of "Diversity" will be on exhibition for one month at Madison Avenue + 50th Street in NYC. One of the artists, womb twin survivor Monica Hudson, will show a body of work entitled, "Lost Twin Souls" made up of 60 9"x9" abstract oil paintings.
"These 'portraits' of lost twin souls channeled through me onto each canvas. I became a conduit through which the unique energy of lost twins who never made it to our world flowed, rebirthing themselves into abstract/ethereal forms - via oil paint, mineral 'spirits' and glitter - which could be recognized and revered, rather than ignored and unseen. Each portrait has its own personality which informed my choices of color, shape, layering, manipulation and completion. Since many lost womb twins go undetected, these paintings almost serve as family portraits belonging to any of us. The simultaneous use of oil paint and paint remover imparts into the work the duality of existing and not existing, much like the life of a wombtwin survivor. The visual articulation of this process was in itself deeply satisfying to me, not to mention the communion of twinship experienced by having these souls around."
Could one of these portraits be your twin?
For a sneak peek of the work, visit www.twindividual.com - "Monica's Art"
To get more details or an invitation to the show, please email: moniglam@gmail.com
Cheers,
Monica
"These 'portraits' of lost twin souls channeled through me onto each canvas. I became a conduit through which the unique energy of lost twins who never made it to our world flowed, rebirthing themselves into abstract/ethereal forms - via oil paint, mineral 'spirits' and glitter - which could be recognized and revered, rather than ignored and unseen. Each portrait has its own personality which informed my choices of color, shape, layering, manipulation and completion. Since many lost womb twins go undetected, these paintings almost serve as family portraits belonging to any of us. The simultaneous use of oil paint and paint remover imparts into the work the duality of existing and not existing, much like the life of a wombtwin survivor. The visual articulation of this process was in itself deeply satisfying to me, not to mention the communion of twinship experienced by having these souls around."
Could one of these portraits be your twin?
For a sneak peek of the work, visit www.twindividual.com - "Monica's Art"
To get more details or an invitation to the show, please email: moniglam@gmail.com
Cheers,
Monica
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Today is International Womb Twin Day!
Today is the official day of recognition for us Womb Twin Survivors around the world.
This year I haven't done a private celebration but instead have been reflecting on all of us survivors who care so deeply about the twin lives that didn't come to fruition here and how they impacted us forever. Despite our pain and struggles, womb twin survivors are special people and now that I have taken the healing journey, I feel so blessed to be one! Even better, to know others who have walked the path has changed my life.
We are remarkable survivors and it truly is special that we have this day of connection and remembrance. I am grateful for being understood and for understanding myself and my hidden story, thanks to Womb Twin.
Hoping all the womb twin survivors of the world, and their lost womb mates, had a meaningful day today. If you'd like to share your story about your celebration, please email to moniglam@gmail.com and it will be posted here.
Blessings,
Monica
This year I haven't done a private celebration but instead have been reflecting on all of us survivors who care so deeply about the twin lives that didn't come to fruition here and how they impacted us forever. Despite our pain and struggles, womb twin survivors are special people and now that I have taken the healing journey, I feel so blessed to be one! Even better, to know others who have walked the path has changed my life.
We are remarkable survivors and it truly is special that we have this day of connection and remembrance. I am grateful for being understood and for understanding myself and my hidden story, thanks to Womb Twin.
Hoping all the womb twin survivors of the world, and their lost womb mates, had a meaningful day today. If you'd like to share your story about your celebration, please email to moniglam@gmail.com and it will be posted here.
Blessings,
Monica
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Report on the Annual Womb Twin Conference 2011
I just attended my first ever Womb Twin Conference in England and can't imagine missing out on such an amazing opportunity to meet almost 30 other womb twins and spend the day immersed in topics of interest. Contrary to our usual mode of fitting into a singleton world, it was a unique experience to be in our own womb twin space where there was instant recognition and everything was custom-tailored.
The entire day was relevant, a rarity for womb twins!
To experience that alone was huge.
The presentations I attended were informative and validating. There were workshops in Art and Drama Therapy and plenty of breaks for connecting and sharing. The pastoral center where the conference was held was gorgeous with lovely landscaping. During the lunchbreak I went outside with Petra from Germany who taught me her new technique called Human Straightness Training. It was developed with horses but she has translated it for human benefit and is now making it available to womb twins. We spent 15 minutes doing it and my shoulder pain (where I was affected by the absorption of my identical twin) was gone for the rest of the day (with continued relief as I do it).
I gave a presentation entitled "Making Our Lost Twins Real and Letting Them Go" using several examples from North American Womb Twins of how to use symbols and rituals for healing. Thanks again to everyone who allowed me to feature a bit of their story.
Best of all was the chance to meet all the womb twins from different parts of the world and feel we are so much the same. I really enjoyed getting to know in-person those who I correspond with on the yahoo chat group and meeting new-to-the-scene womb twins too. It warmed my heart that we even had a non-womb twin among us, she had to live in our world rather than the other way around for a change! And let's not forget the twins who volunteered their time and brought womb twin cupcakes, I give them so much credit for being there. Such blessings!
The following day there was a small intimate workshop lead by Althea Hayton at another venue. There were 10 of us who worked hard processing our womb material all day in a perfect amalgam of Womb Twin Healing, Family Constellation, Gestalt and Psychodrama. Our fearless leader took us to very deep places to shake us into transformation, our fellow womb twins who shared the space made it so safe. I am still integrating it a couple weeks later which is why it's taken so long to write about. Powerful stuff!!
Next year the conference will be at the Friends Meeting House in London, November 17, 2012.
http://www.friendshouse.co.uk/
And check this out - there's a twin/triplet/twinless deal:
If you and 2 others register and pay, you get 50% off your registration fee.
Do yourself a favor - GO!
The entire day was relevant, a rarity for womb twins!
To experience that alone was huge.
The presentations I attended were informative and validating. There were workshops in Art and Drama Therapy and plenty of breaks for connecting and sharing. The pastoral center where the conference was held was gorgeous with lovely landscaping. During the lunchbreak I went outside with Petra from Germany who taught me her new technique called Human Straightness Training. It was developed with horses but she has translated it for human benefit and is now making it available to womb twins. We spent 15 minutes doing it and my shoulder pain (where I was affected by the absorption of my identical twin) was gone for the rest of the day (with continued relief as I do it).
I gave a presentation entitled "Making Our Lost Twins Real and Letting Them Go" using several examples from North American Womb Twins of how to use symbols and rituals for healing. Thanks again to everyone who allowed me to feature a bit of their story.
Best of all was the chance to meet all the womb twins from different parts of the world and feel we are so much the same. I really enjoyed getting to know in-person those who I correspond with on the yahoo chat group and meeting new-to-the-scene womb twins too. It warmed my heart that we even had a non-womb twin among us, she had to live in our world rather than the other way around for a change! And let's not forget the twins who volunteered their time and brought womb twin cupcakes, I give them so much credit for being there. Such blessings!
The following day there was a small intimate workshop lead by Althea Hayton at another venue. There were 10 of us who worked hard processing our womb material all day in a perfect amalgam of Womb Twin Healing, Family Constellation, Gestalt and Psychodrama. Our fearless leader took us to very deep places to shake us into transformation, our fellow womb twins who shared the space made it so safe. I am still integrating it a couple weeks later which is why it's taken so long to write about. Powerful stuff!!
Next year the conference will be at the Friends Meeting House in London, November 17, 2012.
http://www.friendshouse.co.uk/
And check this out - there's a twin/triplet/twinless deal:
If you and 2 others register and pay, you get 50% off your registration fee.
Do yourself a favor - GO!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
'Tis The Season...for Womb Twin Day!
It's December...among the celebrations this time of year, let's remember WOMB TWIN DAY on December 21st.
December 21st is a special day set aside to remember and honour our womb
twins. You can create a special online memorial to your twin, make a
donation to Womb Twin, or even get a group of womb twin survivors together
and carry out a joint ritual of memorial.
The date of December 21st was chosen for Womb Twin day for three reasons:
1) We need one day in the year when we think especially about our womb
twins, and we do so on the same day, to make it more important and
memorable, and so we can give support to each other on that day.
2) December 21st is the winter solstice in the Northern hemisphere. It is
the darkest day of the year, but thereafter the day begin to lengthen
towards the coming summer, so it is a time for new hope in the midst of
darkness.
3) December 21st is the Christian feast day of St Thomas. His special day is now celebrated on July 3rd, but traditionally it
used to be 21st December, so we can reclaim that day for our womb twins.
See more here:
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=525b3eb65d&e=e27d2206b5
Find out more about Womb Twin day
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=3b2b589434&e=e27d2206b5
During this charitable time, do remember to encourage much needed donations to Womb Twin.
With thanks and Twin Wishes for Two Turtle Doves!
December 21st is a special day set aside to remember and honour our womb
twins. You can create a special online memorial to your twin, make a
donation to Womb Twin, or even get a group of womb twin survivors together
and carry out a joint ritual of memorial.
The date of December 21st was chosen for Womb Twin day for three reasons:
1) We need one day in the year when we think especially about our womb
twins, and we do so on the same day, to make it more important and
memorable, and so we can give support to each other on that day.
2) December 21st is the winter solstice in the Northern hemisphere. It is
the darkest day of the year, but thereafter the day begin to lengthen
towards the coming summer, so it is a time for new hope in the midst of
darkness.
3) December 21st is the Christian feast day of St Thomas. His special day is now celebrated on July 3rd, but traditionally it
used to be 21st December, so we can reclaim that day for our womb twins.
See more here:
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=525b3eb65d&e=e27d2206b5
Find out more about Womb Twin day
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=3b2b589434&e=e27d2206b5
During this charitable time, do remember to encourage much needed donations to Womb Twin.
With thanks and Twin Wishes for Two Turtle Doves!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Twin Identity Show on Oprah Winfrey Network tomorrow
Our America with Lisa Ling
Twin Lives
It's something no "singleton" could understand - the mysterious bond between identical twins. From the world's largest meeting of multiples, to sisters separated at birth, we'll explore the age-old question of what shapes our identity: nature or nurture?
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/own/tv-schedule/index.html?date=2011-11-13#ixzz1dYCv72G7
Twin Lives
It's something no "singleton" could understand - the mysterious bond between identical twins. From the world's largest meeting of multiples, to sisters separated at birth, we'll explore the age-old question of what shapes our identity: nature or nurture?
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/own/tv-schedule/index.html?date=2011-11-13#ixzz1dYCv72G7
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Conference Registration still open but not for long!
The Womb Twin Conference, St Albans UK
----------------------------------------------------------------
There are no more residential places available for the conference
on November 19th, but there are still 3 places left for day visitors.
Registration will close on November 3rd.
So if you want to come this year, act now!
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=9897683262&e=e27d2206b5
----------------------------------------------------------------
There are no more residential places available for the conference
on November 19th, but there are still 3 places left for day visitors.
Registration will close on November 3rd.
So if you want to come this year, act now!
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=9897683262&e=e27d2206b5
Friday, October 21, 2011
About Twin Absorption
Very interesting & informative article by a mother who carried a vanishing twin pregnancy. It explains two different ways a twin can be absorbed and disappear.
Vanishing Twin Syndrome
By Deborah Bohn
The rise in early-term ultrasounds has brought the Vanishing Twin Syndrome to light, revealing that a surprising number of twin pregnancies result in the birth of only one baby.
�We won the conception lottery!�
That�s what I wrote in my online journal when I found out that my husband and I were expecting twins. After months of hormone injections, blood tests, ultrasounds, pills, ovulation test kits and egg extraction procedures, plus a heartbreaking miscarriage, we had finally hit the baby jackpot with the help of a fertility specialist and in vitro fertilization. The ultrasound image at my eight-week check-up showed two shrimp-like embryos and two little heartbeats flashing on the screen. My gynecologist gave me the phone number for a twins support group and told me to get ready for a wild ride!
Imagine my shock and horror when the next ultrasound, a mere two weeks later, showed one fat, wriggly embryo and one tiny bean-shaped one with no heartbeat. We were devastated. Grief stricken. How could this have happened? What went wrong? And what was going to happen to the surviving fetus?
The doctor said I was experiencing Vanishing Twin Syndrome, a common occurrence in the early stages of a multiple pregnancy. I might feel some cramping and possibly a tiny bit of bleeding, but the healthy baby would most likely survive and the �little one,� as we called it, would be reabsorbed by my body over time and simply�vanish.
He was right. Although we were emotionally devastated by the loss of our tiny unborn baby, there was no discomfort or bleeding. My 20-week ultrasound revealed a healthy fetus and an empty amniotic sac, but no sign of the little twin. Our daughter was delivered healthy and on time, but we still think about what it would have been like to raise twins. We still sometimes miss the baby that came and went like a little ghost.
Freak of Nature? As strange as it sounds, vanishing twins are pretty common. Before the advent of early ultrasounds, women didn�t realize they were carrying multiple babies until the heartbeats could be heard at 12 weeks or until their regular five-month ultrasound. If two embryos had been conceived and one lost during the first trimester, a mother would never have known it.
Experts currently estimate that one-eighth of pregnancies begin as twins. But of course, the percentage of pregnancies that make it to term is smaller. Fertility specialist Dr. Carolyn Givens of the Pacific Fertility Center estimates that between 15 and 20 percent of all twin pregnancies will miscarry one fetus. �That�s what happens what happens with a vanishing twin,� she says, �You have an early miscarriage of the twin.� Those estimates are supported by a 1986 sonogram study of 1,000 pregnancies. Exactly 21.9% of the women carrying twins in the first trimester experienced a �vanishing twin" event. Due to the increased use of fertility drugs and assisted fertility techniques like in vitro fertilization, there�s been a spike in multiple pregnancies and an accompanying rise in early gestation ultrasounds, so what used to be an almost unheard of phenomenon is rapidly becoming a hot topic among mothers.
What Happens? When our twin disappeared, I found myself wondering if I�d done something wrong to cause the embryo to die. Did I sleep in the wrong side? Inhale someone�s second-hand smoke? Lug my heavy one-year-old daughter around too much? The fact is that most of the time a twin vanishes during the first trimester for the same reason a single baby miscarries: There�s a fatal genetic problem with the embryo and it couldn�t continue developing into a full-fledged fetus. Dr. Givens explains, �This usually happens within the first eight weeks because that�s when the organs form, and if there�s a problem, this is when it will occur. If there�s a chromosomal problem, some important gene doesn�t turn on or do what it�s supposed to do and the heart will stop developing.�
However, older mothers tend to experience vanishing twin losses more frequently. �Spontaneous fraternal twins are more common in older moms because they ovulate more than one egg more often. And older women have a higher rate of miscarriage because of chromosomal abnormalities,� Givens says.
Unlike the miscarriage of a singleton, a woman is less likely to have bleeding with a vanishing twin because the healthy embryo keeps generating hormones to keep the placental lining in place for nourishment and protection. That�s why many women have no idea the second twin even existed. There were no obvious signs that it was ever there and no physical indications of a problem when it died. While there is �minimum physical risk to the mother if it happens in the first trimester,� according to Dr. Givens, there is a small (less than 10%) chance that the healthy baby will be lost at the same time. In that event, both embryos would be washed away in the blood of what appears to be a heavy period, but is actually an early stage miscarriage.
Late-Term Loss Tragically, just like some singleton babies are lost in the second or even third trimesters, the same goes for twins. But the risks to the mother and surviving baby are much greater in the case of a multiple pregnancy. When a single baby stops growing, the body either expels the fetus, resulting in a miscarriage or a stillborn baby, or a doctor removes the tissue for the safety of the mother. But when a twin is lost late in a pregnancy a few different things can happen.
�If you lose a twin after 20 weeks, you are at a much higher risk to lose the other one. There�s so much tissue present that the body wants to expel it and take the live one with it,� Dr Givens explains, �The major risk to losing a twin when the other isn�t ready to be delivered, is the prematurity of the surviving twin.�
On the other hand, if non-living tissue remains in the uterus, the mother is at risk for coagulation problems caused by proteins from the tissue releasing into the mother�s bloodstream. This can cause a condition called Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation that can kill the mother and always results in the death of the remaining baby.
In extremely rare cases, a late-term twin actually vanishes too. Sometimes the water from the dead fetus is reabsorbed into the mother�s body, but the weight of the surviving twin compresses the remaining fetal tissue and forms a fetus papyraceus�a flattened and "mummified" fetus that can block the vaginal opening and require a cesarean delivery. Occasionally the tissue from the perished twin is absorbed by the surviving fetus and forms a tumor, called a teratoma, filled with its missing sibling�s bone, teeth or hair. There have been cases in which part of a twin projects from the body of the surviving twin, sometimes resulting in extra limbs or other duplicated body parts like organs or bones, only discovered later in life by an x-ray or CAT scan.
Stranger than Fiction In extremely rare cases of vanishing twin syndrome, two early stage embryos fuse into a single embryo containing two unique sets of DNA. The surviving twin becomes what�s known as a chimera�essentially two people in one body. Chimeras can have different sets of DNA in different body parts. For instance a male chimera can have one type of DNA in his skin cells but what appears to be an entirely different person�s DNA in his sperm cells.
A 2003 study in the New England Journal of Medicine by Dr Margot Kruskall of the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, Massachusetts, reported the case of a mother who required a kidney transplant. All three of her natural sons were tested as potential donors, but only one appeared to be her biological son, although she gave birth to all of them. Genetic tests revealed that the patient was a chimera�a physical blend of fraternal twin sisters�and her ovaries produced eggs belonging to both twins, thus she could give birth to three sons who were genetic half-brothers; one of them sharing DNA with his mother and two sons sharing DNA with their vanished �aunt.�
According to the November 2003 New Scientist magazine, �Some chimeras do have unusual physical features. For example, one girl was discovered to be a chimera because her eyes were different colors, one brown, the other hazel. Others have come to light when doctors investigated problems with their reproductive systems, and found that they had structures from both male and female reproductive organs as a result of having cells of both sexes in their bodies. But most probably go through life utterly unaware of their unusual constitution.�
The Emotional Toll In my experience�and everyone�s is different�Vanishing Twin Syndrome is like simultaneously hosting a birthday party and a funeral in the same room. You�re thrilled and relieved that you�ve got a healthy baby growing bigger and stronger, while you�re mortified that you�re carrying a dead baby in your belly and heartbroken by the loss of a child you longed for so desperately. As a fertility specialist, Dr. Givens sees a large number of initial multiple pregnancies that ultimately result in a single live birth. She says, �Prospective parents generally have mixed feelings when they lose a twin. In the fertility world, a lot of times people don�t have kids, this is their first pregnancy, and the loss is almost universally a sad thing for them. But it depends on whether they really wanted twins to begin with. Sometimes couples are a little relieved if they already have children and don�t want twins. Either way we tell them that the twin wasn�t healthy, so the loss was actually a positive thing, although it might not feel that way at the time.�
Could You Be a Twin? Could you be the surviving half of a twin pregnancy? Could you have been pregnant with twins and not known it? As reported by Lawrence Wright in The New Yorker, Professor Charles E. Boklage, a developmental biologist at the East Carolina University School of Medicine and a well-known twinning expert says that Vanishing Twin Syndrome �is much too common to be considered phenomenal, and it occurs for too many reasons to be considered any kind of syndrome.� He contends that since most pregnancies fail in the early weeks�often unbeknownst to the mother�the early loss or disappearance of a twin is to be expected. Dr. Boklage estimates that for every set of live twins there are at least six singletons who are survivors of twin conceptions. He says, "Somewhere in the vicinity of ten to fifteen percent of us�and that's a minimum estimate�are walking around thinking we're singletons when in fact we're only the big half!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm adding this content September 11, 2009
I am an absorbed twin. I'm 52 years old as of this writing in 2009 and I did not discover the fact of my birth condition until I was in my forties. While I was growing up I had two sets of most of my baby teeth, and I've had three sets of adult molars; they matured and decayed and replaced themselves. I was also born with ovaries and testes, vagina and penis, have feminine skin and hair, masculine skeletal structure, and a capacity to multi-task between the female and male perspectives. I believed myself to be a girl until I started puberty, then accepted that I was a boy until I was in my mid-thirties, and then re-identified as a woman. By the way, the differences between the female and male perspectives are astoundingly different, and I see life from both when I want to.
I have younger twin sisters. I fathered 4 sets of twins, none of whom went full term. And the two sons we created are healthy and well adjusted, and have families of their own.
My genetic profile is all over the place; so much so that the last testing facility has yet to release my profile to me because they can not figure it out. I've been three times by them. It's the VA, and they are not all that up-to-date when it comes to medicine "outside the box". In fact, when I seek health care as a woman they tell me I cannot have certain things because one doctor things I am male, yet they deny other things I need to support male health because I am a woman. Go figure!
So, here you have an open and sincere account of an abosrbed twin life.
Cheers,
Megan
Vanishing Twin Syndrome
By Deborah Bohn
The rise in early-term ultrasounds has brought the Vanishing Twin Syndrome to light, revealing that a surprising number of twin pregnancies result in the birth of only one baby.
�We won the conception lottery!�
That�s what I wrote in my online journal when I found out that my husband and I were expecting twins. After months of hormone injections, blood tests, ultrasounds, pills, ovulation test kits and egg extraction procedures, plus a heartbreaking miscarriage, we had finally hit the baby jackpot with the help of a fertility specialist and in vitro fertilization. The ultrasound image at my eight-week check-up showed two shrimp-like embryos and two little heartbeats flashing on the screen. My gynecologist gave me the phone number for a twins support group and told me to get ready for a wild ride!
Imagine my shock and horror when the next ultrasound, a mere two weeks later, showed one fat, wriggly embryo and one tiny bean-shaped one with no heartbeat. We were devastated. Grief stricken. How could this have happened? What went wrong? And what was going to happen to the surviving fetus?
The doctor said I was experiencing Vanishing Twin Syndrome, a common occurrence in the early stages of a multiple pregnancy. I might feel some cramping and possibly a tiny bit of bleeding, but the healthy baby would most likely survive and the �little one,� as we called it, would be reabsorbed by my body over time and simply�vanish.
He was right. Although we were emotionally devastated by the loss of our tiny unborn baby, there was no discomfort or bleeding. My 20-week ultrasound revealed a healthy fetus and an empty amniotic sac, but no sign of the little twin. Our daughter was delivered healthy and on time, but we still think about what it would have been like to raise twins. We still sometimes miss the baby that came and went like a little ghost.
Freak of Nature? As strange as it sounds, vanishing twins are pretty common. Before the advent of early ultrasounds, women didn�t realize they were carrying multiple babies until the heartbeats could be heard at 12 weeks or until their regular five-month ultrasound. If two embryos had been conceived and one lost during the first trimester, a mother would never have known it.
Experts currently estimate that one-eighth of pregnancies begin as twins. But of course, the percentage of pregnancies that make it to term is smaller. Fertility specialist Dr. Carolyn Givens of the Pacific Fertility Center estimates that between 15 and 20 percent of all twin pregnancies will miscarry one fetus. �That�s what happens what happens with a vanishing twin,� she says, �You have an early miscarriage of the twin.� Those estimates are supported by a 1986 sonogram study of 1,000 pregnancies. Exactly 21.9% of the women carrying twins in the first trimester experienced a �vanishing twin" event. Due to the increased use of fertility drugs and assisted fertility techniques like in vitro fertilization, there�s been a spike in multiple pregnancies and an accompanying rise in early gestation ultrasounds, so what used to be an almost unheard of phenomenon is rapidly becoming a hot topic among mothers.
What Happens? When our twin disappeared, I found myself wondering if I�d done something wrong to cause the embryo to die. Did I sleep in the wrong side? Inhale someone�s second-hand smoke? Lug my heavy one-year-old daughter around too much? The fact is that most of the time a twin vanishes during the first trimester for the same reason a single baby miscarries: There�s a fatal genetic problem with the embryo and it couldn�t continue developing into a full-fledged fetus. Dr. Givens explains, �This usually happens within the first eight weeks because that�s when the organs form, and if there�s a problem, this is when it will occur. If there�s a chromosomal problem, some important gene doesn�t turn on or do what it�s supposed to do and the heart will stop developing.�
However, older mothers tend to experience vanishing twin losses more frequently. �Spontaneous fraternal twins are more common in older moms because they ovulate more than one egg more often. And older women have a higher rate of miscarriage because of chromosomal abnormalities,� Givens says.
Unlike the miscarriage of a singleton, a woman is less likely to have bleeding with a vanishing twin because the healthy embryo keeps generating hormones to keep the placental lining in place for nourishment and protection. That�s why many women have no idea the second twin even existed. There were no obvious signs that it was ever there and no physical indications of a problem when it died. While there is �minimum physical risk to the mother if it happens in the first trimester,� according to Dr. Givens, there is a small (less than 10%) chance that the healthy baby will be lost at the same time. In that event, both embryos would be washed away in the blood of what appears to be a heavy period, but is actually an early stage miscarriage.
Late-Term Loss Tragically, just like some singleton babies are lost in the second or even third trimesters, the same goes for twins. But the risks to the mother and surviving baby are much greater in the case of a multiple pregnancy. When a single baby stops growing, the body either expels the fetus, resulting in a miscarriage or a stillborn baby, or a doctor removes the tissue for the safety of the mother. But when a twin is lost late in a pregnancy a few different things can happen.
�If you lose a twin after 20 weeks, you are at a much higher risk to lose the other one. There�s so much tissue present that the body wants to expel it and take the live one with it,� Dr Givens explains, �The major risk to losing a twin when the other isn�t ready to be delivered, is the prematurity of the surviving twin.�
On the other hand, if non-living tissue remains in the uterus, the mother is at risk for coagulation problems caused by proteins from the tissue releasing into the mother�s bloodstream. This can cause a condition called Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation that can kill the mother and always results in the death of the remaining baby.
In extremely rare cases, a late-term twin actually vanishes too. Sometimes the water from the dead fetus is reabsorbed into the mother�s body, but the weight of the surviving twin compresses the remaining fetal tissue and forms a fetus papyraceus�a flattened and "mummified" fetus that can block the vaginal opening and require a cesarean delivery. Occasionally the tissue from the perished twin is absorbed by the surviving fetus and forms a tumor, called a teratoma, filled with its missing sibling�s bone, teeth or hair. There have been cases in which part of a twin projects from the body of the surviving twin, sometimes resulting in extra limbs or other duplicated body parts like organs or bones, only discovered later in life by an x-ray or CAT scan.
Stranger than Fiction In extremely rare cases of vanishing twin syndrome, two early stage embryos fuse into a single embryo containing two unique sets of DNA. The surviving twin becomes what�s known as a chimera�essentially two people in one body. Chimeras can have different sets of DNA in different body parts. For instance a male chimera can have one type of DNA in his skin cells but what appears to be an entirely different person�s DNA in his sperm cells.
A 2003 study in the New England Journal of Medicine by Dr Margot Kruskall of the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, Massachusetts, reported the case of a mother who required a kidney transplant. All three of her natural sons were tested as potential donors, but only one appeared to be her biological son, although she gave birth to all of them. Genetic tests revealed that the patient was a chimera�a physical blend of fraternal twin sisters�and her ovaries produced eggs belonging to both twins, thus she could give birth to three sons who were genetic half-brothers; one of them sharing DNA with his mother and two sons sharing DNA with their vanished �aunt.�
According to the November 2003 New Scientist magazine, �Some chimeras do have unusual physical features. For example, one girl was discovered to be a chimera because her eyes were different colors, one brown, the other hazel. Others have come to light when doctors investigated problems with their reproductive systems, and found that they had structures from both male and female reproductive organs as a result of having cells of both sexes in their bodies. But most probably go through life utterly unaware of their unusual constitution.�
The Emotional Toll In my experience�and everyone�s is different�Vanishing Twin Syndrome is like simultaneously hosting a birthday party and a funeral in the same room. You�re thrilled and relieved that you�ve got a healthy baby growing bigger and stronger, while you�re mortified that you�re carrying a dead baby in your belly and heartbroken by the loss of a child you longed for so desperately. As a fertility specialist, Dr. Givens sees a large number of initial multiple pregnancies that ultimately result in a single live birth. She says, �Prospective parents generally have mixed feelings when they lose a twin. In the fertility world, a lot of times people don�t have kids, this is their first pregnancy, and the loss is almost universally a sad thing for them. But it depends on whether they really wanted twins to begin with. Sometimes couples are a little relieved if they already have children and don�t want twins. Either way we tell them that the twin wasn�t healthy, so the loss was actually a positive thing, although it might not feel that way at the time.�
Could You Be a Twin? Could you be the surviving half of a twin pregnancy? Could you have been pregnant with twins and not known it? As reported by Lawrence Wright in The New Yorker, Professor Charles E. Boklage, a developmental biologist at the East Carolina University School of Medicine and a well-known twinning expert says that Vanishing Twin Syndrome �is much too common to be considered phenomenal, and it occurs for too many reasons to be considered any kind of syndrome.� He contends that since most pregnancies fail in the early weeks�often unbeknownst to the mother�the early loss or disappearance of a twin is to be expected. Dr. Boklage estimates that for every set of live twins there are at least six singletons who are survivors of twin conceptions. He says, "Somewhere in the vicinity of ten to fifteen percent of us�and that's a minimum estimate�are walking around thinking we're singletons when in fact we're only the big half!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm adding this content September 11, 2009
I am an absorbed twin. I'm 52 years old as of this writing in 2009 and I did not discover the fact of my birth condition until I was in my forties. While I was growing up I had two sets of most of my baby teeth, and I've had three sets of adult molars; they matured and decayed and replaced themselves. I was also born with ovaries and testes, vagina and penis, have feminine skin and hair, masculine skeletal structure, and a capacity to multi-task between the female and male perspectives. I believed myself to be a girl until I started puberty, then accepted that I was a boy until I was in my mid-thirties, and then re-identified as a woman. By the way, the differences between the female and male perspectives are astoundingly different, and I see life from both when I want to.
I have younger twin sisters. I fathered 4 sets of twins, none of whom went full term. And the two sons we created are healthy and well adjusted, and have families of their own.
My genetic profile is all over the place; so much so that the last testing facility has yet to release my profile to me because they can not figure it out. I've been three times by them. It's the VA, and they are not all that up-to-date when it comes to medicine "outside the box". In fact, when I seek health care as a woman they tell me I cannot have certain things because one doctor things I am male, yet they deny other things I need to support male health because I am a woman. Go figure!
So, here you have an open and sincere account of an abosrbed twin life.
Cheers,
Megan
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Vanishing Twin on TV: Chimera Drama on CBS
This new medical supernatural drama, A GIFTED MAN, is about a "self absorbed" surgeon (was he a womb twin survivor who absorbed his other half?) and this particular episode features a chimera which they accurately call a twin. The medical profession used to say "it's a cyst with teeth and nail matter" and leave it at that. This is encouraging and I'm happy to see it on mainstream tv.
After the "twin" is surgically removed from this man's brain, the patient is still hearing the screaming of this voice in his head and tells the surgeon "you didn't get him out"...and that is where womb twin healing comes in. We do know how to exorcise twin voices!
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/cb-HM96yhfZgzxB7tICE_vHsi9pvjwBRbEB/a_gifted_man_the_vanishing_twin_season_1_episode_4/
Thank you CBS for saying it like it is!
After the "twin" is surgically removed from this man's brain, the patient is still hearing the screaming of this voice in his head and tells the surgeon "you didn't get him out"...and that is where womb twin healing comes in. We do know how to exorcise twin voices!
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/cb-HM96yhfZgzxB7tICE_vHsi9pvjwBRbEB/a_gifted_man_the_vanishing_twin_season_1_episode_4/
Thank you CBS for saying it like it is!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Womb Twin US goes to the UK!
I just can't contain my excitement so I have to tell you that my presentation at the Annual Womb Twin Conference in the UK next month will be JUICY!
The topic is "Making our Lost Twins Real and Letting Them Go" and I plan to review - and show (yes, visual delights await!) several examples from the womb twins in the U.S.
(thanks to those who gave me permission to use their stories!)
Only a few days left to register so if you haven't yet done so, I urge you to join us for a lifechanging experience. www.wombtwin.com
Another exciting development is the launch of my own personal website for womb twin healing in the U.S. at www.twindividual.com
Please visit to learn more and to see some of my artwork entitled "Lost Twin Souls."
I'm looking forward to meeting others just like me from around the world and with art & drama therapists on the roster it will no doubt be an amazing conference this year. That instant recognition twin-survivor-fix can't come soon enough!
Althea Hayton is doing a small group workshop the following day, which I'm also attending. If you can't do Saturday, come Sunday!
See you in November!!
The topic is "Making our Lost Twins Real and Letting Them Go" and I plan to review - and show (yes, visual delights await!) several examples from the womb twins in the U.S.
(thanks to those who gave me permission to use their stories!)
Only a few days left to register so if you haven't yet done so, I urge you to join us for a lifechanging experience. www.wombtwin.com
Another exciting development is the launch of my own personal website for womb twin healing in the U.S. at www.twindividual.com
Please visit to learn more and to see some of my artwork entitled "Lost Twin Souls."
I'm looking forward to meeting others just like me from around the world and with art & drama therapists on the roster it will no doubt be an amazing conference this year. That instant recognition twin-survivor-fix can't come soon enough!
Althea Hayton is doing a small group workshop the following day, which I'm also attending. If you can't do Saturday, come Sunday!
See you in November!!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
*Last 2 weeks to Register for Womb Twin Conference on Nov 19*
Looking forward to seeing everyone at the conference, be sure to register asap below if you are going.
I'm excited to be one of the presenters this year!
The subject of my talk is "Making Our Lost Twins Real and Letting Them Go" using symbol and ritual, a crucial step in the healing process.
The Womb Twin Conference, November 19th
----------------------------------------------------------------
**There is still time to register for the conference, but please do so by October 17th, which is the last day for bookings.**
Register online today:
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=cc08a7969a&e=e27d2206b5
I'm excited to be one of the presenters this year!
The subject of my talk is "Making Our Lost Twins Real and Letting Them Go" using symbol and ritual, a crucial step in the healing process.
The Womb Twin Conference, November 19th
----------------------------------------------------------------
**There is still time to register for the conference, but please do so by October 17th, which is the last day for bookings.**
Register online today:
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=cc08a7969a&e=e27d2206b5
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Left Handedness + Vanishing Twins correlated in news article
What a delight to read an article that includes one of our theories!
Finally the world is catching on to what we know...
Here's a news article which theorizes left handedness could be due to vanishing twin syndrome/mirror twinning...
http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/09/26/7885486-new-book-explores-the-mysteries-of-southpaws?gt1=43001
Finally the world is catching on to what we know...
Here's a news article which theorizes left handedness could be due to vanishing twin syndrome/mirror twinning...
http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/09/26/7885486-new-book-explores-the-mysteries-of-southpaws?gt1=43001
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Fetal Pain - When?
In the US there is a trend of some states banning abortions after 20 weeks conception, based on the theory that the fetus can feel pain at this point. A recent NY Times article states "Based on current knowledge, medical organizations generally reject the notion that a fetus can feel pain before 24 weeks."
"The suggestion that a fetus at 20 weeks can feel pain is inconsistent with the biological evidence" says David Grimes (a prominent researcher & professor of ob/gyn) "To suggest that pain can be perceived without a cerebral cortex is also inconsistent with the definition of pain."
The Royal College of Ob/Gyn in Britain said of the brain development of fetuses: "Connections from the periphery to the cortex are not intact before 24 weeks of gestation and, as most neuroscientists believe that the cortex is necessary for pain perception, it can be concluded that the fetus cannot experience pain in any sense prior to this gestation." The report goes on to say the physical recoiling and hormonal responses of younger fetuses to needle touches are reflexive and do not indicate pain awareness.
Abortion opponents are countering this by claiming that a functioning cortex is not necessary for the experience of pain. And I would have to agree based on my experience as a womb twin healer.
I've worked with womb twin survivors who remember and feel pain from the earliest moments of conception, and carried it their whole lifetime into adulthood. The details don't change and are consistent over time. I've gone back to those painful places with them and witnessed a tragedy so consistently painful it cannot be argued with. It may be a bigger psychic pain, an overwhelming all-encompassing, deep imprint on every cell kind of pain that could be similar or different from the lymbic system pain perception we know and refer to in the abortion controversy mentioned above. Regardless of the type of pain, it is truly there and it doesn't go away until it is acknowledged and expressed and then hopefully begins to lift.
What I'm declaring is: People distinctly, and with great detail, feel and recall/describe the pain of their egg splitting, their twin not implanting, their twin's cells being reabsorbed into their cells, their mother not wanting them, their mother's failed abortion attempts, their mother's successful abortion attempt on their twin, etc. And I believe it is pain, not just memory, because it gets triggered and needs release and dissipates with healing - you can't say that about memory. But could it be clairsentience that later became perceived as pain, since it was repressed and dramatic and was hard to identify? Perhaps pain is the catchword we gave it to explain the huge impact of this event.
In any case, I think there are some things that are beyond our current comprehension, probably this very subject among them. But when you see the truth in the eyes of the soul while describing their conception and the moments around it, steeped in pain so deep it can never be forgotten, there leaves no room for doubt. It just has to be accepted. And my feeling is - even if the mind made it all up - it's still a valid vehicle in which to move this energy out and express something so as to move toward healing, so all of it needs to be considered valid, regardless of the label we put on it.
As I always say, the proof is in the healing.
"The suggestion that a fetus at 20 weeks can feel pain is inconsistent with the biological evidence" says David Grimes (a prominent researcher & professor of ob/gyn) "To suggest that pain can be perceived without a cerebral cortex is also inconsistent with the definition of pain."
The Royal College of Ob/Gyn in Britain said of the brain development of fetuses: "Connections from the periphery to the cortex are not intact before 24 weeks of gestation and, as most neuroscientists believe that the cortex is necessary for pain perception, it can be concluded that the fetus cannot experience pain in any sense prior to this gestation." The report goes on to say the physical recoiling and hormonal responses of younger fetuses to needle touches are reflexive and do not indicate pain awareness.
Abortion opponents are countering this by claiming that a functioning cortex is not necessary for the experience of pain. And I would have to agree based on my experience as a womb twin healer.
I've worked with womb twin survivors who remember and feel pain from the earliest moments of conception, and carried it their whole lifetime into adulthood. The details don't change and are consistent over time. I've gone back to those painful places with them and witnessed a tragedy so consistently painful it cannot be argued with. It may be a bigger psychic pain, an overwhelming all-encompassing, deep imprint on every cell kind of pain that could be similar or different from the lymbic system pain perception we know and refer to in the abortion controversy mentioned above. Regardless of the type of pain, it is truly there and it doesn't go away until it is acknowledged and expressed and then hopefully begins to lift.
What I'm declaring is: People distinctly, and with great detail, feel and recall/describe the pain of their egg splitting, their twin not implanting, their twin's cells being reabsorbed into their cells, their mother not wanting them, their mother's failed abortion attempts, their mother's successful abortion attempt on their twin, etc. And I believe it is pain, not just memory, because it gets triggered and needs release and dissipates with healing - you can't say that about memory. But could it be clairsentience that later became perceived as pain, since it was repressed and dramatic and was hard to identify? Perhaps pain is the catchword we gave it to explain the huge impact of this event.
In any case, I think there are some things that are beyond our current comprehension, probably this very subject among them. But when you see the truth in the eyes of the soul while describing their conception and the moments around it, steeped in pain so deep it can never be forgotten, there leaves no room for doubt. It just has to be accepted. And my feeling is - even if the mind made it all up - it's still a valid vehicle in which to move this energy out and express something so as to move toward healing, so all of it needs to be considered valid, regardless of the label we put on it.
As I always say, the proof is in the healing.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
A Womb Twin Survivor 9/11
My inner 9/11 is a loss which looms just as large and digs just as deep to me as the outer 9/11...yet there is no coverage of the lone witness, made more so by society. Odd stares of judgement were my only funeral for decades. Such devastating alienation added to the aloneness incomprehensible to a twin and entirely inconceivable to a singleton, whose death rituals and symbols need no explanation among the rows of shoulders to cry on for lesser losses.
As the world mourns 10 years since 9/11/01 with all its remembrance pageantry and public acknowledgement of sorrow, it is painfully clear to me that memorials are only for certain deaths.
The lone tower standing without its twin, ready to fall down and die at any moment, is me.
The tower jumpers mirror the death of a twin who couldn’t implant and fell away to an unknown abyss, to its surviving twins' horror.
The sickening vagueness in the lack of evidence and desperate need for closure by 9/11 survivors is the birthright for womb twin survivors who can’t even remember any different.
Although the tragedy of 9/11 feels equal to my inner loss, the difference is that my Ground Zero is Ground One – Individuality. Instead of a grim void littered with smoldering wreckage, my aftermath is a lifetime of being without my twin/triplet/quadruplet.
Here at Ground One there are no ambulances or camera crews, just a lonely incubator and the pressure to function in a world that didn’t welcome my cherished others. Here at Ground One, any kind of non-self-made ceremony would’ve helped yet nothing would’ve ever been enough.
The aching indelibility of this inner tragedy makes me a walker between worlds, never able to be a twin or a singleton, forever trapped falling from my twin tower with no place to land, among the oblivious who could be witnesses.
Imagine a world where 9/11 happened and nobody paid attention or cared. It just happened and then it was no longer happening and nobody was affected but you. And every Sept 11 you had to put on your birthday hat and smile to fool the world you weren’t dead inside, unable to articulate because there was nobody to hear. You had to be the keeper of this memory inside and if you ever said a peep, others would look at you strangely and think you should be over it by now while judging you for being affected in the first place. Now imagine those same people invite you to their dog’s funeral so you can witness a tree-planting in a dog’s memory and you must comfort their loss and not mention 9/11. This is the life of a womb twin survivor and we thought it was normal because we knew no different.
My 10 second fall lasted 44 years until I’d had enough of the ghostly invisibility of silence. Now I won’t shut up. Coming out of the closet, finding wombtwin.com and connecting with other survivors has been my anti-terrorist task force.
Recognize my glory, I am a newly constructed tower that gleams and cannot be ignored, standing taller and taller all on my own.
* * * * *
The tragedy of 9/11 resulted in 2,976 deaths – 40 of which were twins who perished and left their twins twinless.
By comparison, the tragedy of womb twin loss affects 600,000 people - most of whom don’t even know but are walking around with an inner 9/11.
As the world mourns 10 years since 9/11/01 with all its remembrance pageantry and public acknowledgement of sorrow, it is painfully clear to me that memorials are only for certain deaths.
The lone tower standing without its twin, ready to fall down and die at any moment, is me.
The tower jumpers mirror the death of a twin who couldn’t implant and fell away to an unknown abyss, to its surviving twins' horror.
The sickening vagueness in the lack of evidence and desperate need for closure by 9/11 survivors is the birthright for womb twin survivors who can’t even remember any different.
Although the tragedy of 9/11 feels equal to my inner loss, the difference is that my Ground Zero is Ground One – Individuality. Instead of a grim void littered with smoldering wreckage, my aftermath is a lifetime of being without my twin/triplet/quadruplet.
Here at Ground One there are no ambulances or camera crews, just a lonely incubator and the pressure to function in a world that didn’t welcome my cherished others. Here at Ground One, any kind of non-self-made ceremony would’ve helped yet nothing would’ve ever been enough.
The aching indelibility of this inner tragedy makes me a walker between worlds, never able to be a twin or a singleton, forever trapped falling from my twin tower with no place to land, among the oblivious who could be witnesses.
Imagine a world where 9/11 happened and nobody paid attention or cared. It just happened and then it was no longer happening and nobody was affected but you. And every Sept 11 you had to put on your birthday hat and smile to fool the world you weren’t dead inside, unable to articulate because there was nobody to hear. You had to be the keeper of this memory inside and if you ever said a peep, others would look at you strangely and think you should be over it by now while judging you for being affected in the first place. Now imagine those same people invite you to their dog’s funeral so you can witness a tree-planting in a dog’s memory and you must comfort their loss and not mention 9/11. This is the life of a womb twin survivor and we thought it was normal because we knew no different.
My 10 second fall lasted 44 years until I’d had enough of the ghostly invisibility of silence. Now I won’t shut up. Coming out of the closet, finding wombtwin.com and connecting with other survivors has been my anti-terrorist task force.
Recognize my glory, I am a newly constructed tower that gleams and cannot be ignored, standing taller and taller all on my own.
* * * * *
The tragedy of 9/11 resulted in 2,976 deaths – 40 of which were twins who perished and left their twins twinless.
By comparison, the tragedy of womb twin loss affects 600,000 people - most of whom don’t even know but are walking around with an inner 9/11.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
"Twins of the Twin Towers" Special on Oprah Winfrey Network
Some womb twin survivors are also twinless twins - regardless of when your twin was lost, this special show will be of interest:
TWINS OF THE TWIN TOWERS
The untold stories of twins who were left twinless on September 11, 2001 when the Twin Towers collapsed.
Tune in to OPRAH WINFREY NETWORK
9pm EST on September 11
I had the pleasure of meeting Gregory Hoffman, one of the leaders of the twin towers twinless, not too long after 9/11. His adult twin was lost because he worked in one of the towers and they actually spoke by phone just before the second tower was hit and then contact was lost. There were approximately 40 twinless made so by the fallen towers.
In remembrance, with love and respect, of the special twins who perished in the twin towers. Wishing their surviving twins much strength and peace as they remember their separation 10 years ago.
TWINS OF THE TWIN TOWERS
The untold stories of twins who were left twinless on September 11, 2001 when the Twin Towers collapsed.
Tune in to OPRAH WINFREY NETWORK
9pm EST on September 11
I had the pleasure of meeting Gregory Hoffman, one of the leaders of the twin towers twinless, not too long after 9/11. His adult twin was lost because he worked in one of the towers and they actually spoke by phone just before the second tower was hit and then contact was lost. There were approximately 40 twinless made so by the fallen towers.
In remembrance, with love and respect, of the special twins who perished in the twin towers. Wishing their surviving twins much strength and peace as they remember their separation 10 years ago.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Multiple Womb Twin's visit Greenwood Cemetery
A gathering of womb twin survivors toured Brooklyn's Greenwood Cemetery recently, home to many famous graves belonging notables such as Jean-Michel Basquiat, Louis Comfort Tiffany, even the Wizard from Oz. The scenic landscape includes a giant nest of parrots at the entrance gate. They escaped a shipping crate at the airport in the 1960's and have thrived here ever since despite the climate - survivors!
Interestingly, the four people on this tour were once a total of fifteen people!
3 were originally quadruplets (two: 2 females/2 males; one: 2 females/2 females) and 1 was a triplet (2 males/1 female). Two of us had born twins thus aren't just womb twin survivors but also twinless twins: one female died just after birth and the other male at 3 months.
On this occasion, not only were the unseen in marked graves, there were also unseen in unmarked graves held in the souls of us surviving twins. What a meaningful day it was for us to be together and instantly feel understood and in the company of other multiples who've walked the singleton path.
Of the 1 in 10 people who are womb twin survivors, there is an even smaller percentage of natural (pre fertility treatment) multiple survivors so it was significant that the four of were able to be together. We felt a distinction in how our multipleness differs from womb twin loss. Similar but a whole lot more. Not only were there more losses but there were multiple dynamics set up between the losses. So nice to share with others who get it.
May we all rest in peace, not only our womb twins/triplets/quads, but also those of us living and carrying the memory of our departed ones who never made it here.
In loving memory of Lawrence, Leslie Glen, Lilly, Jennifer, Jude, Momo, Finn, Molly, Sarah, Patrick, and Samuel.
Interestingly, the four people on this tour were once a total of fifteen people!
3 were originally quadruplets (two: 2 females/2 males; one: 2 females/2 females) and 1 was a triplet (2 males/1 female). Two of us had born twins thus aren't just womb twin survivors but also twinless twins: one female died just after birth and the other male at 3 months.
On this occasion, not only were the unseen in marked graves, there were also unseen in unmarked graves held in the souls of us surviving twins. What a meaningful day it was for us to be together and instantly feel understood and in the company of other multiples who've walked the singleton path.
Of the 1 in 10 people who are womb twin survivors, there is an even smaller percentage of natural (pre fertility treatment) multiple survivors so it was significant that the four of were able to be together. We felt a distinction in how our multipleness differs from womb twin loss. Similar but a whole lot more. Not only were there more losses but there were multiple dynamics set up between the losses. So nice to share with others who get it.
May we all rest in peace, not only our womb twins/triplets/quads, but also those of us living and carrying the memory of our departed ones who never made it here.
In loving memory of Lawrence, Leslie Glen, Lilly, Jennifer, Jude, Momo, Finn, Molly, Sarah, Patrick, and Samuel.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
NY Times Article on In Vitro/Selective Reduction = Twin Loss
Here is the kind of disturbing story we hear everyday about womb twin survivors in the making due to lack of awareness about the effects of these parental choices. A good lesson in DON'T DO IT JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN AND JUST BECAUSE TECHNOLOGY WILL ALLOW IT! For the most part, it is pure selfishness for these women to seek motherhood at any cost in my opinion. Disturbing that noone is considering the negative effects on the surviving offspring, while fooling themselves that this is actually in their best interests (how convenient).
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/14/magazine/the-two-minus-one-pregnancy.html?_r=3&pagewanted=7&smid=fb-nytimes
Not only will these womb twin survivors remember the traumas experienced from the womb including the controlled yet random murder of their twin, these embryos may already be grieving the others that weren't implanted in addition to those "selectively reduced"! They may even carry the pain of being conceived in a petri dish on a cold table under tremendous pressure to come to being rather than coming into a warm organic host environment.
At what point, and how many thousands of dollars and damaged lives later, does it take to arrive at the conclusion "There’s a point where you just have to let nature take its course.” as this woman says? "We all think we can conquer the world, but then reality hits you, and you realize you have limitations"
The limitations were always there!
See them for what they are and stop playing "god" people!!
It's very difficult reading these careless stories but best for now to know the stories behind the womb twin survivors we may meet and heal someday in the future. We know their pain and we're here for them.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/14/magazine/the-two-minus-one-pregnancy.html?_r=3&pagewanted=7&smid=fb-nytimes
Not only will these womb twin survivors remember the traumas experienced from the womb including the controlled yet random murder of their twin, these embryos may already be grieving the others that weren't implanted in addition to those "selectively reduced"! They may even carry the pain of being conceived in a petri dish on a cold table under tremendous pressure to come to being rather than coming into a warm organic host environment.
At what point, and how many thousands of dollars and damaged lives later, does it take to arrive at the conclusion "There’s a point where you just have to let nature take its course.” as this woman says? "We all think we can conquer the world, but then reality hits you, and you realize you have limitations"
The limitations were always there!
See them for what they are and stop playing "god" people!!
It's very difficult reading these careless stories but best for now to know the stories behind the womb twin survivors we may meet and heal someday in the future. We know their pain and we're here for them.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
On Twin Replacements & Unconditionalism to the Extreme...Meet Dave Cat
So often womb twin survivors find twin replacements in other things or relationships in born life. Due to our womb loss(es), we crave the unconditional love we once shared with our twin, and sometimes go to great lengths to feel it again.
Here's a possible wombtwin named Dave Cat who seems to have found a way to satisfy this need for unconditional presence to the exreme in his love relationship with a realistic doll or synthetic spouse.
(view article on this link)
http://www.asylum.com/2010/10/28/real-love-doll-sidore-gets-reincarnated/
He seems to be expressing/living/quenching aspects of his in-utero bond through Sidore (his twin replacement) such as non-verbal communication, one brain/two bodies, sibling play time and the dreaded part when the twin transitions from beginning life to no longer being viable.
I would guess that his most traumatic womb memory is when his twin ceased and no longer responded. He may be stuck in that moment with Sidore...regressing and compensating...but this time he has complete control over the situation. He seems to delight in the fact she has no pulse and how gratifying that he was able to "save" her when she needed repair. This may be the happiest he can arrive at without knowing the underlying story.
My concern for him, though, like womb twins who take this path - is that he will alienate himself from others at the expense of himself to keep this dream of the womb alive. Because he hasn't brought it to awareness, the complex may take over his life so that he too becomes obliterated and sabotaged exactly like his twin, out of survivor guilt.
I wish he and Sidore well and would certainly welcome his phone call if he should ever want to explore this further!
Monica
www.twindividual.com
Here's a possible wombtwin named Dave Cat who seems to have found a way to satisfy this need for unconditional presence to the exreme in his love relationship with a realistic doll or synthetic spouse.
(view article on this link)
http://www.asylum.com/2010/10/28/real-love-doll-sidore-gets-reincarnated/
He seems to be expressing/living/quenching aspects of his in-utero bond through Sidore (his twin replacement) such as non-verbal communication, one brain/two bodies, sibling play time and the dreaded part when the twin transitions from beginning life to no longer being viable.
I would guess that his most traumatic womb memory is when his twin ceased and no longer responded. He may be stuck in that moment with Sidore...regressing and compensating...but this time he has complete control over the situation. He seems to delight in the fact she has no pulse and how gratifying that he was able to "save" her when she needed repair. This may be the happiest he can arrive at without knowing the underlying story.
My concern for him, though, like womb twins who take this path - is that he will alienate himself from others at the expense of himself to keep this dream of the womb alive. Because he hasn't brought it to awareness, the complex may take over his life so that he too becomes obliterated and sabotaged exactly like his twin, out of survivor guilt.
I wish he and Sidore well and would certainly welcome his phone call if he should ever want to explore this further!
Monica
www.twindividual.com
Sunday, July 31, 2011
The ultimate womb twin band: BETA PLUS EMBRYO
I recently came across this band called Beta Plus Embryo!
Their lyrics are quite fitting to the womb twin cause...check it out:
(instead of cranking it up, you may want to lower your volume before clicking)
http://www.betaplusembryo.com/
New York's Beta Plus Embryo coalesces heaving grooves with hypnotic soundscapes to create an experience that delves deep into the darkness of human existence while searching for universal truths. Drawing musical influence from such diverse acts as Cocteau Twins, Skinny Puppy, Joy Division, and The Melvins, Beta Plus Embryo has creatively developed a distinct and versatile sound, complex with emotion that appeals to a wide range of psyches and tastes.
Maybe they are multiples...
Enjoy!
Their lyrics are quite fitting to the womb twin cause...check it out:
(instead of cranking it up, you may want to lower your volume before clicking)
http://www.betaplusembryo.com/
New York's Beta Plus Embryo coalesces heaving grooves with hypnotic soundscapes to create an experience that delves deep into the darkness of human existence while searching for universal truths. Drawing musical influence from such diverse acts as Cocteau Twins, Skinny Puppy, Joy Division, and The Melvins, Beta Plus Embryo has creatively developed a distinct and versatile sound, complex with emotion that appeals to a wide range of psyches and tastes.
Maybe they are multiples...
Enjoy!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Evidence of Twin Absorption
When a twin absorbs its twin very early, the lost twin can be evident in the form of physical anomaly's in the surviving twin, such as this: the Guinness Book of World Records winner for most fingers and toes!
This boy in India (a hotbed of fertility treatments, which can cause twinning to go right or wrong) was born with 10 toes on each foot and 7 fingers on each hand.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/22/most-fingers-and-toes-baby_n_907384.html#s307565&title=Foot_Carpenter_Sintayehu
Wonder if this boy felt his twin being separated as his extra digits were removed...
Monica
This boy in India (a hotbed of fertility treatments, which can cause twinning to go right or wrong) was born with 10 toes on each foot and 7 fingers on each hand.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/22/most-fingers-and-toes-baby_n_907384.html#s307565&title=Foot_Carpenter_Sintayehu
Wonder if this boy felt his twin being separated as his extra digits were removed...
Monica
Friday, July 8, 2011
Vanishing Twin Syndrome increases chance of Birth Defects in Co-Twins
Here is proof that not only did we survive emotional and spiritual effects from being a lone twin, but also endured or avoided physical effects as well:
http://topnews.us/content/241652-vanishing-twin-syndrome-increases-co-twins-chances-birth-defects
http://topnews.us/content/241652-vanishing-twin-syndrome-increases-co-twins-chances-birth-defects
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Social before Birth: Twins Interact Purposefully with Each Other as Fetuses
Although this is no surprise to womb twins, it's reassuring that the rest of the world is catching up to what we know to be true about our in-utero bonds. Check out this research finding:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=social-before-birth
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=social-before-birth
Thursday, June 30, 2011
"TWINTUITION" show broadcasted, if you missed it here's a recap
Primetime Nightline: Beyond Belief Episode: "Twintuition"
Season 1, Episode 1
Episode Synopsis: A five-part series from the producers of "Nightline" on spirituality and ESP opens by exploring possible extrasensory links between identical twins that are said to enable them to share emotions and physical sensations when they're not together. Juju Chang reports. Original Air Date: Jun 29, 2011
_____________________________________________________
The show opens with Nancy Segal conducting a twin communication study where the twins stated it was less about sending/receiving messages and more about tuning in to how the other thinks.
They showed twins who were separated at birth yet experienced similar illnessses synchronistically. They said there exists a mystical bond that can't be explained by science.
I AGREE!
Next they featured twin tennis stars Bob & Mike Bryan, showing footage of them on the court where they made the exact same movements at the same time like one mind was controlling both bodies. They said it is better if they don't talk and let it be intuitive. They also said it was more about familiarity than about telepathy, much like an old married couple becomes familiar with the other. After a period of separation, the twins began training together to "ramp up the twin thing" and get familiar again to help with the magic on the court.
I DISAGREE! THESE GUYS HAD MORE THAN FAMILIARITY BUT PERHAPS THEY ARE TOO "FAMILIAR" WITH IT TO SEE IT!
The narrator stated Twins are either hyper competitive or hyper cooperative.
The show continued with Terry and Linda Jamison, twin psychic's who model/perform and consider themselves one organism sharing one soul. They coined the term "twintuition" and channel messages from beyond via automatic writing which is how they predicted 9/11 etc. When asked with skepticism how they could be so accurate with stocks etc. and not use if for their own profit, they replied "The gift is for other people." These twins were often very sickly earlier in their lives because they took on other people's pain.
THIS INDICATES TWIN PSYCHICNESS ISN'T ABOUT FAMILIARITY, IT IS ABOUT BOUNDARIES (LACK OF) AND TELEPATHY.
The show closes with a study on 4 sets of twins conducted by Guy Lyon Playfair, author of Twin Telepathy, whereby twins were separated and hooked up to monitors to measure responses to startling activities like a balloon popping. Interestingly, the twins who showed the most similar responses, were the only twin set who chose to separate early in their lives and live independently!
THIS FINDING DEMONSTRATES MORE OF A GENETIC IDENTICALNESS THAN REASONS OF FAMILIARITY.
MY PERSONAL OPINION AS SOMEONE WHO ONCE ADOPTED A TWIN AND BECAME "TWIN PSYCHIC" LONG DISTANCE, AND WHO IS QUITE PSYCHIC ON A REGULAR BASIS, IS THAT THESE ABILITIES ARE TELEPATHICALLY SOURCED FROM TWIN WIRING PICKING UP ENERGY (WHICH FITS MORE INTO THE "SENDING/RECEIVING MESSAGES" CAMP) HOWEVER IT DOES INTENSIFY WITH FAMILIARITY.
CERTAINLY WOMB TWINS WHO LOST TWINS SO EARLY THERE WASN'T TIME FOR MUCH FAMILIARITY CONTINUE TO BE TWIN PSYCHIC.
Season 1, Episode 1
Episode Synopsis: A five-part series from the producers of "Nightline" on spirituality and ESP opens by exploring possible extrasensory links between identical twins that are said to enable them to share emotions and physical sensations when they're not together. Juju Chang reports. Original Air Date: Jun 29, 2011
_____________________________________________________
The show opens with Nancy Segal conducting a twin communication study where the twins stated it was less about sending/receiving messages and more about tuning in to how the other thinks.
They showed twins who were separated at birth yet experienced similar illnessses synchronistically. They said there exists a mystical bond that can't be explained by science.
I AGREE!
Next they featured twin tennis stars Bob & Mike Bryan, showing footage of them on the court where they made the exact same movements at the same time like one mind was controlling both bodies. They said it is better if they don't talk and let it be intuitive. They also said it was more about familiarity than about telepathy, much like an old married couple becomes familiar with the other. After a period of separation, the twins began training together to "ramp up the twin thing" and get familiar again to help with the magic on the court.
I DISAGREE! THESE GUYS HAD MORE THAN FAMILIARITY BUT PERHAPS THEY ARE TOO "FAMILIAR" WITH IT TO SEE IT!
The narrator stated Twins are either hyper competitive or hyper cooperative.
The show continued with Terry and Linda Jamison, twin psychic's who model/perform and consider themselves one organism sharing one soul. They coined the term "twintuition" and channel messages from beyond via automatic writing which is how they predicted 9/11 etc. When asked with skepticism how they could be so accurate with stocks etc. and not use if for their own profit, they replied "The gift is for other people." These twins were often very sickly earlier in their lives because they took on other people's pain.
THIS INDICATES TWIN PSYCHICNESS ISN'T ABOUT FAMILIARITY, IT IS ABOUT BOUNDARIES (LACK OF) AND TELEPATHY.
The show closes with a study on 4 sets of twins conducted by Guy Lyon Playfair, author of Twin Telepathy, whereby twins were separated and hooked up to monitors to measure responses to startling activities like a balloon popping. Interestingly, the twins who showed the most similar responses, were the only twin set who chose to separate early in their lives and live independently!
THIS FINDING DEMONSTRATES MORE OF A GENETIC IDENTICALNESS THAN REASONS OF FAMILIARITY.
MY PERSONAL OPINION AS SOMEONE WHO ONCE ADOPTED A TWIN AND BECAME "TWIN PSYCHIC" LONG DISTANCE, AND WHO IS QUITE PSYCHIC ON A REGULAR BASIS, IS THAT THESE ABILITIES ARE TELEPATHICALLY SOURCED FROM TWIN WIRING PICKING UP ENERGY (WHICH FITS MORE INTO THE "SENDING/RECEIVING MESSAGES" CAMP) HOWEVER IT DOES INTENSIFY WITH FAMILIARITY.
CERTAINLY WOMB TWINS WHO LOST TWINS SO EARLY THERE WASN'T TIME FOR MUCH FAMILIARITY CONTINUE TO BE TWIN PSYCHIC.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Womb Twins to Connect this Fall 2011
!!!We Need to Connect!!!
There are so many womb twins in the US suddenly, East Coast in particular. I'm hearing mostly of multiples - those who thought they were a twin only to discover there were more.
It's gratifying that so many are coming forward and finding a place to go with this syndrome. So on that note, it's time to plan a gathering in NYC of womb twins who would like to connect with other womb twins.
The day can be planned around the needs of the group, so please feel free to provide feedback based on the information below - you may do so by "commenting" on the blog or emailing me privately at moniglam@gmail.com.
1) What kind of meeting would you prefer:
a) a structured full day - seminar style with some exercises built-in
b) an informal gathering where womb twins can share and socialize
c) participation in exercises/rituals with intensive personal processing
2) What day is best for you to travel to NYC and share sacred space with other womb twins? Let us know so that we may schedule according to the groups respective availability.
Although it is a Friday, we may want to consider November 11 for its powerful symbolism as 11/11/11..per below from numerologist Alison Baughman:
The 11's message is always associated with humanity; to awaken, to uplift, to inspire, to enlighten.
This year on 11/11/11, be aware that it is a high vibrational day and your connection to the spiritual realm is heightened. It certainly is within the realm of possibility to have insightful, if not prophetic dreams and even a strong spiritual experience. You may find clarity about something that eluded you previously.
Meditate and connect to the Divine, however you define your Higher Power, and be open to receive your own personal message of the day. Be sure to also look at the news events of the day for special meaning.
So let me hear from YOU about what type of connection would serve you best.
There is great comfort in community...you don't have to suffer alone.
Just ask another womb twin, they'll get it.
Their perspective could give you the answer to a question you could never ask.
And you can do the same simply by sharing your reality.
There are lots of you out there, speak up and tell me what you need! And When!!
Yours,
Monica
There are so many womb twins in the US suddenly, East Coast in particular. I'm hearing mostly of multiples - those who thought they were a twin only to discover there were more.
It's gratifying that so many are coming forward and finding a place to go with this syndrome. So on that note, it's time to plan a gathering in NYC of womb twins who would like to connect with other womb twins.
The day can be planned around the needs of the group, so please feel free to provide feedback based on the information below - you may do so by "commenting" on the blog or emailing me privately at moniglam@gmail.com.
1) What kind of meeting would you prefer:
a) a structured full day - seminar style with some exercises built-in
b) an informal gathering where womb twins can share and socialize
c) participation in exercises/rituals with intensive personal processing
2) What day is best for you to travel to NYC and share sacred space with other womb twins? Let us know so that we may schedule according to the groups respective availability.
Although it is a Friday, we may want to consider November 11 for its powerful symbolism as 11/11/11..per below from numerologist Alison Baughman:
The 11's message is always associated with humanity; to awaken, to uplift, to inspire, to enlighten.
This year on 11/11/11, be aware that it is a high vibrational day and your connection to the spiritual realm is heightened. It certainly is within the realm of possibility to have insightful, if not prophetic dreams and even a strong spiritual experience. You may find clarity about something that eluded you previously.
Meditate and connect to the Divine, however you define your Higher Power, and be open to receive your own personal message of the day. Be sure to also look at the news events of the day for special meaning.
So let me hear from YOU about what type of connection would serve you best.
There is great comfort in community...you don't have to suffer alone.
Just ask another womb twin, they'll get it.
Their perspective could give you the answer to a question you could never ask.
And you can do the same simply by sharing your reality.
There are lots of you out there, speak up and tell me what you need! And When!!
Yours,
Monica
Thursday, June 16, 2011
IMPORTANT NEWS: DSM may include new category in 2013 - Complicated Grief Disorder
Call to Action - What can womb twin survivors do to help make this diagnostic code a reality - this validation would open the doors for our cause and its treatment:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=shades-of-grief
Home » Scientific American Magazine » June 2011
The Science of Health | Mind & Brain
See Inside Shades of Grief: When Does Mourning Become a Mental Illness?
The new edition of a psychiatric manual called DSM-5 tackles what to do when mourning becomes complicated or leads to depression
By Virginia Hughes | June 7, 2011 | 3
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MORTAL TOLL: For most people, extreme grief subsides with time. For some, however, it may continue unabated or lead to depression.
Image: Michael Blann Getty Images
Sooner or later most of us suffer deep grief over the death of someone we love. The experience often causes people to question their sanity—as when they momentarily think they have caught sight of their loved one on a crowded street. Many mourners ponder, even if only abstractedly, their reason for living. But when are these disturbing thoughts and emotions normal—that is to say, they become less consuming and intense with the passage of time—and when do they cross the line to pathology, requiring ongoing treatment with powerful antidepressants or psychotherapy, or both?
Two proposed changes in the “bible” of psychiatric disorders—the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)—aim to answer that question when the book’s fifth edition comes out in 2013. One change expected to appear in the DSM-5 reflects a growing consensus in the mental health field; the other has provoked great controversy.
In the less controversial change, the manual would add a new category: Complicated Grief Disorder, also known as traumatic or prolonged grief. The new diagnosis refers to a situation in which many of grief’s common symptoms—such as powerful pining for the deceased, great difficulty moving on, a sense that life is meaningless, and bitterness or anger about the loss—last longer than six months. The controversial change focuses on the other end of the time spectrum: it allows medical treatment for depression in the first few weeks after a death. Currently the DSM specifically bars a bereaved person from being diagnosed with full-blown depression until at least two months have elapsed from the start of mourning.
Those changes matter to patients and mental health professionals because the manual’s definitions of mental illness determine how people are treated and, in many cases, whether the therapy is paid for by insurance. The logic behind the proposed revisions, therefore, merits a further look.
Abnormal Grief
The concept of pathological mourning has been around since Sigmund Freud, but it began receiving formal attention more recently. In several studies of widows with severe, long-lasting grief in the 1980s and 1990s, researchers noticed that antidepressant medications relieved such depressive feelings as sadness and worthlessness but did nothing for other aspects of grief, such as pining and intrusive thoughts about the deceased. The finding suggested that complicated grief and depression arise from different circuits in the brain, but the work was not far enough along to make it into the current, fourth edition of the DSM, published in 1994. In the 886-page book, bereavement is relegated to just one paragraph and is described as a symptom that “may be a focus of clinical attention.” Complicated grief is not mentioned.
Over the next few years other studies revealed that persistent, consuming grief may, in and of itself, increase the risk of other illnesses, such as heart problems, high blood pressure and cancer. Holly G. Prigerson, one of the pioneers of grief research, organized a meeting of loss experts in Pittsburgh in 1997 to hash out preliminary criteria for what she and her colleagues saw as an emerging condition, which they termed traumatic grief. Their view of its defining features: an intense daily yearning and preoccupation with the deceased. In essence, it is the inability to adjust to life without that person, notes Mardi J. Horowitz, professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, and another early researcher of the condition. Prigerson, then an assistant professor at the Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic in Pittsburgh, hoped the meeting would begin the process of finding enough evidence to support changing the DSM. “We knew that grief predicted a lot of bad outcomes—over and above depression and anxiety—and thought it was worthy of clinical attention in its own right,” says Prigerson, now a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.
Monica
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=shades-of-grief
Home » Scientific American Magazine » June 2011
The Science of Health | Mind & Brain
See Inside Shades of Grief: When Does Mourning Become a Mental Illness?
The new edition of a psychiatric manual called DSM-5 tackles what to do when mourning becomes complicated or leads to depression
By Virginia Hughes | June 7, 2011 | 3
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MORTAL TOLL: For most people, extreme grief subsides with time. For some, however, it may continue unabated or lead to depression.
Image: Michael Blann Getty Images
Sooner or later most of us suffer deep grief over the death of someone we love. The experience often causes people to question their sanity—as when they momentarily think they have caught sight of their loved one on a crowded street. Many mourners ponder, even if only abstractedly, their reason for living. But when are these disturbing thoughts and emotions normal—that is to say, they become less consuming and intense with the passage of time—and when do they cross the line to pathology, requiring ongoing treatment with powerful antidepressants or psychotherapy, or both?
Two proposed changes in the “bible” of psychiatric disorders—the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)—aim to answer that question when the book’s fifth edition comes out in 2013. One change expected to appear in the DSM-5 reflects a growing consensus in the mental health field; the other has provoked great controversy.
In the less controversial change, the manual would add a new category: Complicated Grief Disorder, also known as traumatic or prolonged grief. The new diagnosis refers to a situation in which many of grief’s common symptoms—such as powerful pining for the deceased, great difficulty moving on, a sense that life is meaningless, and bitterness or anger about the loss—last longer than six months. The controversial change focuses on the other end of the time spectrum: it allows medical treatment for depression in the first few weeks after a death. Currently the DSM specifically bars a bereaved person from being diagnosed with full-blown depression until at least two months have elapsed from the start of mourning.
Those changes matter to patients and mental health professionals because the manual’s definitions of mental illness determine how people are treated and, in many cases, whether the therapy is paid for by insurance. The logic behind the proposed revisions, therefore, merits a further look.
Abnormal Grief
The concept of pathological mourning has been around since Sigmund Freud, but it began receiving formal attention more recently. In several studies of widows with severe, long-lasting grief in the 1980s and 1990s, researchers noticed that antidepressant medications relieved such depressive feelings as sadness and worthlessness but did nothing for other aspects of grief, such as pining and intrusive thoughts about the deceased. The finding suggested that complicated grief and depression arise from different circuits in the brain, but the work was not far enough along to make it into the current, fourth edition of the DSM, published in 1994. In the 886-page book, bereavement is relegated to just one paragraph and is described as a symptom that “may be a focus of clinical attention.” Complicated grief is not mentioned.
Over the next few years other studies revealed that persistent, consuming grief may, in and of itself, increase the risk of other illnesses, such as heart problems, high blood pressure and cancer. Holly G. Prigerson, one of the pioneers of grief research, organized a meeting of loss experts in Pittsburgh in 1997 to hash out preliminary criteria for what she and her colleagues saw as an emerging condition, which they termed traumatic grief. Their view of its defining features: an intense daily yearning and preoccupation with the deceased. In essence, it is the inability to adjust to life without that person, notes Mardi J. Horowitz, professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, and another early researcher of the condition. Prigerson, then an assistant professor at the Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic in Pittsburgh, hoped the meeting would begin the process of finding enough evidence to support changing the DSM. “We knew that grief predicted a lot of bad outcomes—over and above depression and anxiety—and thought it was worthy of clinical attention in its own right,” says Prigerson, now a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.
Monica
Womb Twin Thought For The Day: YOU
Commit an act of SELF ish ness (the kind version)
Then notice that the world doesn't fall apart, it continues on just fine.
In fact, people don't even notice - they think it's normal!
(while you secretly think you are being mean)
Allow yourself at least a moment of being SELFish every day, then work your way up to more and more moments.
It's ok...really!
You are here to be a SELF, you just forgot due to reliving your dream of the womb.
Enjoy today, it is YOURS
Monica
Then notice that the world doesn't fall apart, it continues on just fine.
In fact, people don't even notice - they think it's normal!
(while you secretly think you are being mean)
Allow yourself at least a moment of being SELFish every day, then work your way up to more and more moments.
It's ok...really!
You are here to be a SELF, you just forgot due to reliving your dream of the womb.
Enjoy today, it is YOURS
Monica
Saturday, June 11, 2011
In-Utero Birthday Cake + conception/split cupcakes
Click on this link to see these amazing cakes:
http://flavorwire.com/185630/pic-of-the-day-kim-and-kelley-deals-twins-in-utero-birthday-cake
http://flavorwire.com/185630/pic-of-the-day-kim-and-kelley-deals-twins-in-utero-birthday-cake
Monday, June 6, 2011
Could Conjoined Twins Share a Mind?
Hi Friends,
I found this article titled, Could Conjoined Twins Share a Mind?, from the New York Times to be of interest and you might too. This is empathy to the max! I was fascinated by the shared vision and taste experiences. There is also mention of Christopher, a 6-year-old who has been told that he had a twin who died in the womb. The remnants of the twin, the doctors told his mother, were absorbed into his body, leaving only an unusual hairy patch on his back that still remains, the soft fuzzy shadow of a life that might have been. “If I don’t feel like being me, I can switch to how my twin feels,” Christopher told the author once, as he was playing a video game. “And if I’m mad, I can switch to how my twin feels. Then I can switch back to being me.” Heavy stuff for a 6-year-old, don’t you think? I sure hope they don’t do the reality show. I must warn you that the article is quite long. Here’s the link to it:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/29/magazine/could-conjoined-twins-share-a-mind.html
Barbara M
I found this article titled, Could Conjoined Twins Share a Mind?, from the New York Times to be of interest and you might too. This is empathy to the max! I was fascinated by the shared vision and taste experiences. There is also mention of Christopher, a 6-year-old who has been told that he had a twin who died in the womb. The remnants of the twin, the doctors told his mother, were absorbed into his body, leaving only an unusual hairy patch on his back that still remains, the soft fuzzy shadow of a life that might have been. “If I don’t feel like being me, I can switch to how my twin feels,” Christopher told the author once, as he was playing a video game. “And if I’m mad, I can switch to how my twin feels. Then I can switch back to being me.” Heavy stuff for a 6-year-old, don’t you think? I sure hope they don’t do the reality show. I must warn you that the article is quite long. Here’s the link to it:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/29/magazine/could-conjoined-twins-share-a-mind.html
Barbara M
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Adele - a womb twin survivor?
Singer Adele talks about anxiety attacks and how twin-like the pining for her ex-boyfriend admittedly is...could her husky voice and alpha talent/stardom be further indication that she survived a male twin?
In Huffington Post:
In an era marked by electronic, sexed up pop-art "statements" and superstardom for its own sake, Adele stands out by slumping back, the unplugged organ in the neon glow room, silent if not for the entrancing call she croons out, hooking into the hearts of suddenly self-aware crowd.
The unlikely popstar, the genius poet of heartbreak, has taken the music world by storm, her throwback sound and soul capturing the hearts of listeners worldwide. Her first album, "19," and hit single, "Chasing Pavements," won her two Grammys, and her new record, "21," filled with the smoothed and cradled anger that resulted from a failed relationship, have her dominating the Billboard charts like few artists have done before.
But here's the catch-22 of success: this new level of fame comes as a result of the great art that came from heartbreak, and as her lyrics show, she'd have done anything to avoid that pain. And those words don't just capture a moment in time, not just the immediate regret of a failed relationship. As she tells Out Magazine, she'd still do anything for that relationship, that love of her life to have worked out -- even give up the resulting fame.
"I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for not making my relationship with my ex on 21 work, because he's the love of my life," she says, before adding that she would have been willing to give up everything for him. Everything? "Well, I would still be singing in the shower, of course, but yeah -- my career, my friendships, my hobbies. I would have given up trying to be the best."
If Adele writes best when she's confused about love, or upset that what she has is not working, it seems there could a lot more hit records on the way, as it may be tough to find what she had with her ex-boyfriend.
"He was my soul mate. We had everything -- on every level we were totally right. We'd finish each other's sentences, and he could just pick up how I was feeling by the look in my eye, down to a T, and we loved the same things, and hated the same things, and we were brave when the other was brave and weak when the other one was weak -- almost like twins, you know--and I think that's rare when you find the full circle in one person, and I think that's what I'll always be looking for in other men."
In Rolling Stone magazine she says:
"I'm scared of audiences," she tells the magazine. "One show in Amsterdam I was so nervous I escaped out the fire exit. I've thrown up a couple of times. Once in Brussels I projectile vomited on someone. I just gotta bear it. But I don't like touring. I have anxiety attacks a lot."
In Huffington Post:
In an era marked by electronic, sexed up pop-art "statements" and superstardom for its own sake, Adele stands out by slumping back, the unplugged organ in the neon glow room, silent if not for the entrancing call she croons out, hooking into the hearts of suddenly self-aware crowd.
The unlikely popstar, the genius poet of heartbreak, has taken the music world by storm, her throwback sound and soul capturing the hearts of listeners worldwide. Her first album, "19," and hit single, "Chasing Pavements," won her two Grammys, and her new record, "21," filled with the smoothed and cradled anger that resulted from a failed relationship, have her dominating the Billboard charts like few artists have done before.
But here's the catch-22 of success: this new level of fame comes as a result of the great art that came from heartbreak, and as her lyrics show, she'd have done anything to avoid that pain. And those words don't just capture a moment in time, not just the immediate regret of a failed relationship. As she tells Out Magazine, she'd still do anything for that relationship, that love of her life to have worked out -- even give up the resulting fame.
"I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for not making my relationship with my ex on 21 work, because he's the love of my life," she says, before adding that she would have been willing to give up everything for him. Everything? "Well, I would still be singing in the shower, of course, but yeah -- my career, my friendships, my hobbies. I would have given up trying to be the best."
If Adele writes best when she's confused about love, or upset that what she has is not working, it seems there could a lot more hit records on the way, as it may be tough to find what she had with her ex-boyfriend.
"He was my soul mate. We had everything -- on every level we were totally right. We'd finish each other's sentences, and he could just pick up how I was feeling by the look in my eye, down to a T, and we loved the same things, and hated the same things, and we were brave when the other was brave and weak when the other one was weak -- almost like twins, you know--and I think that's rare when you find the full circle in one person, and I think that's what I'll always be looking for in other men."
In Rolling Stone magazine she says:
"I'm scared of audiences," she tells the magazine. "One show in Amsterdam I was so nervous I escaped out the fire exit. I've thrown up a couple of times. Once in Brussels I projectile vomited on someone. I just gotta bear it. But I don't like touring. I have anxiety attacks a lot."
Monday, May 16, 2011
MUST WATCH FILM CLIP: Ere Ibeji + Twin Loss Beliefs of the Yoruba (click on blue link)
http://www.learner.org/courses/globalart/theme/6/index.html
Within this extraordinary half hour show on the subject of Death, there is a segment about the Yoruba culture in SW Nigeria which has the highest twinning rate in the world. Tune in to this film clip from 19:50 - 21:11, as transcribed below:
"Every individual has a spirit partner in heaven. In the case of twins, the bond between the two before birth was so close that one could not live without the other. Now, if one of the twins should die the belief is that the other might follow unless certain measures are taken. As a result, Ere Ibeji - twin memorials - were created into which the soul of the deceased would be invoked. If the second twin should die, they create another memorial in their memory and the mother of the twins keeps both and it is believed the spirits of these twins will continue to bless their parents"
With thanks to the Annenberg Foundation for bringing thoughtful, important culture to the masses through beautiful programming.
Within this extraordinary half hour show on the subject of Death, there is a segment about the Yoruba culture in SW Nigeria which has the highest twinning rate in the world. Tune in to this film clip from 19:50 - 21:11, as transcribed below:
"Every individual has a spirit partner in heaven. In the case of twins, the bond between the two before birth was so close that one could not live without the other. Now, if one of the twins should die the belief is that the other might follow unless certain measures are taken. As a result, Ere Ibeji - twin memorials - were created into which the soul of the deceased would be invoked. If the second twin should die, they create another memorial in their memory and the mother of the twins keeps both and it is believed the spirits of these twins will continue to bless their parents"
With thanks to the Annenberg Foundation for bringing thoughtful, important culture to the masses through beautiful programming.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Part 2 - Interview with a Well-Adjusted Womb Twin Survivor - they do exist!
As a follow up to Part 1 of this interview (posted below on April 6), here concludes this very special interview with a womb twin survivor who lost his female twin at birth, and is quite fine with it. He is convinced he was spared traumatic affect due to his mother's early acknowledgment and constant communication about the loss of his twin.
Consider what he shares - about a subject never spoken about with people other than his mom - an early Mother's Day tribute to the incredible instincts his mother had not to repress the loss. Let this also be a tribute to the current & future mother's of womb twins to overcome their apprehension and fears and learn to talk about it with their children. When you handle it well, your child will too. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away, it makes it much worse.
What advice would you give parents of womb twin survivors on how to handle this well for their children?
I wouldn’t evade it or negate it, I’d definitely talk about it. It’s something that did happen.
How early would you bring it up?
I would talk about it from when you brought the baby home. I remember it was a pretty early memory that I was a twin and my mother was talking to me about it, by doing that she comforted me and that’s what you want to do.
Do you feel that if she told you later in life that it would’ve been shocking rather than always growing up with that knowledge?
Sure because you set a tone with a child in exposing it to any kind of information or knowledge. If you do it later, it could be more of a shock and less embraceable. You might have difficulties developing that knowledge.
Whereas if you get it earlier, it’s just integrated into who you are?
Yes and then you have more of a possibility of developing that knowledge and nurturing it into a positive manifestation.
For instance, my mother was a great artist and she chose not to teach me that when I was very young. She taught me when I was 9 or 10 and it was hard for me to assimilate that information and I was kind of upset because I wish she did teach me earlier. To use an example, prodigies like Mozart who are taught & exposed to information at a young age can assimilate that information much easier, you don’t have to think about it too much. You’re just doing it. It’s like walking and reading and talking.
How would you suggest the subject be brought up?
Just talk. There’s no right way or wrong way…but the wrong way is not doing anything about it all. If parents are fearful and apprehensive… look, a child only wants to share with you and other people, the more sharing and conversing is done, the more adulation and love is created. And the more love and adulation, the more intelligence is developed and the greater the perception. And that’s all that beings want is that comeraderie, all species, that is the first act of communication. Just going through the motions of eating and getting up in the morning, they emulate those things. So when you start talking about things, they’re going to emulate those things.
When you do it while their young, as a parent to a child, you’re going to do it in a positive way for the most part because you’re enamored by this new being. You make it up as you go, there are no instructions on how to rear children even though there should be, but you know there are right ways and wrong ways of doing things and anything that is done in a positive, loving manner can’t be bad.
If you don’t know what you’re doing and you think you’re doing it wrong, it still can’t be bad because you figure it out as you go. And not only do you figure it out, the child figures it out, you help each other. It goes back & forth. It’s a given that the teacher learns more or just as much from the student. The master really learns from the student if he’s a good teacher. And that is a very high acknowledgment in a very sagely manner, it’s not easy to do and people who are masters and have acquired that sagely manner are aware of that. That’s what you want to manifest in and it can take a lifetime to learn to do that. Or you can just do it…as your biological being tells you to do. And if you follow those things, sometimes you can learn a lot more than you knew you could.
Did your mother ever tell you things about your twin that you didn’t like hearing - did she ever vent or say anything that wasn’t as palatable to you but served her more? Anything negative? Or was it all positive sharing?
Pretty much, I was fortunate that she didn’t - but she did vent about her mother. Even that wasn’t accusatory, just venting issues. I remember she would say things like “there’s no such thing as better, there are just different applications or different ways of looking at things.” It instilled in me not to be judgmental.
Do you think you and your mother shared the same level of grief for your twin? Did you feel on par or that there were different intensities?
I guess the grief that she was dealing with, she dealt with by acknowledging it and speaking to me about it. So I was aware of it and I could acknowledge it and in doing so, that was dealing with the grief. Now, when I got older and dealt with grief with the passing of relatives, I learned a lot about grief. You have to confront grief. You have to deal with grief. If you don’t, it manifests into disease and creates illness and ill manners and ill ways. Dis-ease.
I think that by her talking to me about it, she was dealing with her grief and I was acknowledging this information but I didn’t necessarily grieve. That’s why I brought up the family grief, it’s a different type of grief…
So was that a delayed channeling of the grief of your twin to these other later outlets?
No I don’t think so, it’s just different.
Then, would you say that you grieved at the time your mother shared knowledge of your twin’s death and it was just taken care of then? As you went along?
Right, exactly. That’s why I said I didn’t grieve. I think the initiation of this knowledge and the fact that this individual was no longer with us but we were discussing it – this is the acknowledgement of this information but also the embracing of the grief. Dealing with it and diminishing it at the same time. Working in tandem.
To make an analogy, a relative got sick and almost died but didn’t and it was so traumatic that I grieved a real sense of loss. So later, when this person eventually died, it wasn’t as hard as it would’ve been if I hadn’t dealt with that grief earlier. I think of you deal with loss, at that time, in the moment - it creates less of a dramatic situation later, no matter what.
Right, if a parent handles it well, the child can handle it well, no matter what it is.
You don’t even have to handle it all that well but dealing with it is much better than not dealing with it.
Even if it gets messy?
Even if it gets messy because then you’ll deal with it again and it will get easier. You’re still dealing with it as opposed to not dealing with it, because you never get over the death of someone very important to you. Time is kind of irrelevant about that, it could’ve happened yesterday or twenty years ago but depending on how great that individual was in your life, you’re still going to feel that hurt and sense of loss and emotional trauma. But that’s all grief is, it’s like oh we ‘memorialize this person’ but it’s not for them it’s all for us and how we deal with these things emotionally. It’s not for the people who passed. They are wherever they go, we’re still here and it’s us that are emotionally struck by these things and a lot of times these things are not dealt with. That’s why we recreate all these stories about being haunted, we create all these things in our psyche because they’re not dealt with, all this emotional baggage turns into all these diseases whether they’re physical or psychic or psychological, they’re very real and they become very real things. They can become very psychotic, either individually or communally.
So no – it just needs to be dealt with. It doesn’t matter how, it doesn’t matter if it’s the right approach or not. There’s no right way or wrong of way of dealing with this, as long as it is dealt with.
This question may not be appropriate, since you haven’t been aware of Womb Twin Syndrome, but answer it if you like: What advice would you give others who lost a twin around birth to cope?
Other twins who lost twins themselves? It’s an odd question since I never really even knew this was an issue…
Now that I know that it is an issue, and I never knew about it personally myself, I think the best thing to do is to speak about it with other people who have gone through these experiences and to share with one another and talk about it. If you didn’t have that chance when you were a child or baby, I don’t think it’s ever too late to actually try to deal with these things. But do it with people of like mind and maybe you’ll acquire a rest in the trauma and maybe a bit of understanding on how to deal with that and try to heal. What more could you ask for? That’s what I would try to do.
Consider what he shares - about a subject never spoken about with people other than his mom - an early Mother's Day tribute to the incredible instincts his mother had not to repress the loss. Let this also be a tribute to the current & future mother's of womb twins to overcome their apprehension and fears and learn to talk about it with their children. When you handle it well, your child will too. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away, it makes it much worse.
What advice would you give parents of womb twin survivors on how to handle this well for their children?
I wouldn’t evade it or negate it, I’d definitely talk about it. It’s something that did happen.
How early would you bring it up?
I would talk about it from when you brought the baby home. I remember it was a pretty early memory that I was a twin and my mother was talking to me about it, by doing that she comforted me and that’s what you want to do.
Do you feel that if she told you later in life that it would’ve been shocking rather than always growing up with that knowledge?
Sure because you set a tone with a child in exposing it to any kind of information or knowledge. If you do it later, it could be more of a shock and less embraceable. You might have difficulties developing that knowledge.
Whereas if you get it earlier, it’s just integrated into who you are?
Yes and then you have more of a possibility of developing that knowledge and nurturing it into a positive manifestation.
For instance, my mother was a great artist and she chose not to teach me that when I was very young. She taught me when I was 9 or 10 and it was hard for me to assimilate that information and I was kind of upset because I wish she did teach me earlier. To use an example, prodigies like Mozart who are taught & exposed to information at a young age can assimilate that information much easier, you don’t have to think about it too much. You’re just doing it. It’s like walking and reading and talking.
How would you suggest the subject be brought up?
Just talk. There’s no right way or wrong way…but the wrong way is not doing anything about it all. If parents are fearful and apprehensive… look, a child only wants to share with you and other people, the more sharing and conversing is done, the more adulation and love is created. And the more love and adulation, the more intelligence is developed and the greater the perception. And that’s all that beings want is that comeraderie, all species, that is the first act of communication. Just going through the motions of eating and getting up in the morning, they emulate those things. So when you start talking about things, they’re going to emulate those things.
When you do it while their young, as a parent to a child, you’re going to do it in a positive way for the most part because you’re enamored by this new being. You make it up as you go, there are no instructions on how to rear children even though there should be, but you know there are right ways and wrong ways of doing things and anything that is done in a positive, loving manner can’t be bad.
If you don’t know what you’re doing and you think you’re doing it wrong, it still can’t be bad because you figure it out as you go. And not only do you figure it out, the child figures it out, you help each other. It goes back & forth. It’s a given that the teacher learns more or just as much from the student. The master really learns from the student if he’s a good teacher. And that is a very high acknowledgment in a very sagely manner, it’s not easy to do and people who are masters and have acquired that sagely manner are aware of that. That’s what you want to manifest in and it can take a lifetime to learn to do that. Or you can just do it…as your biological being tells you to do. And if you follow those things, sometimes you can learn a lot more than you knew you could.
Did your mother ever tell you things about your twin that you didn’t like hearing - did she ever vent or say anything that wasn’t as palatable to you but served her more? Anything negative? Or was it all positive sharing?
Pretty much, I was fortunate that she didn’t - but she did vent about her mother. Even that wasn’t accusatory, just venting issues. I remember she would say things like “there’s no such thing as better, there are just different applications or different ways of looking at things.” It instilled in me not to be judgmental.
Do you think you and your mother shared the same level of grief for your twin? Did you feel on par or that there were different intensities?
I guess the grief that she was dealing with, she dealt with by acknowledging it and speaking to me about it. So I was aware of it and I could acknowledge it and in doing so, that was dealing with the grief. Now, when I got older and dealt with grief with the passing of relatives, I learned a lot about grief. You have to confront grief. You have to deal with grief. If you don’t, it manifests into disease and creates illness and ill manners and ill ways. Dis-ease.
I think that by her talking to me about it, she was dealing with her grief and I was acknowledging this information but I didn’t necessarily grieve. That’s why I brought up the family grief, it’s a different type of grief…
So was that a delayed channeling of the grief of your twin to these other later outlets?
No I don’t think so, it’s just different.
Then, would you say that you grieved at the time your mother shared knowledge of your twin’s death and it was just taken care of then? As you went along?
Right, exactly. That’s why I said I didn’t grieve. I think the initiation of this knowledge and the fact that this individual was no longer with us but we were discussing it – this is the acknowledgement of this information but also the embracing of the grief. Dealing with it and diminishing it at the same time. Working in tandem.
To make an analogy, a relative got sick and almost died but didn’t and it was so traumatic that I grieved a real sense of loss. So later, when this person eventually died, it wasn’t as hard as it would’ve been if I hadn’t dealt with that grief earlier. I think of you deal with loss, at that time, in the moment - it creates less of a dramatic situation later, no matter what.
Right, if a parent handles it well, the child can handle it well, no matter what it is.
You don’t even have to handle it all that well but dealing with it is much better than not dealing with it.
Even if it gets messy?
Even if it gets messy because then you’ll deal with it again and it will get easier. You’re still dealing with it as opposed to not dealing with it, because you never get over the death of someone very important to you. Time is kind of irrelevant about that, it could’ve happened yesterday or twenty years ago but depending on how great that individual was in your life, you’re still going to feel that hurt and sense of loss and emotional trauma. But that’s all grief is, it’s like oh we ‘memorialize this person’ but it’s not for them it’s all for us and how we deal with these things emotionally. It’s not for the people who passed. They are wherever they go, we’re still here and it’s us that are emotionally struck by these things and a lot of times these things are not dealt with. That’s why we recreate all these stories about being haunted, we create all these things in our psyche because they’re not dealt with, all this emotional baggage turns into all these diseases whether they’re physical or psychic or psychological, they’re very real and they become very real things. They can become very psychotic, either individually or communally.
So no – it just needs to be dealt with. It doesn’t matter how, it doesn’t matter if it’s the right approach or not. There’s no right way or wrong of way of dealing with this, as long as it is dealt with.
This question may not be appropriate, since you haven’t been aware of Womb Twin Syndrome, but answer it if you like: What advice would you give others who lost a twin around birth to cope?
Other twins who lost twins themselves? It’s an odd question since I never really even knew this was an issue…
Now that I know that it is an issue, and I never knew about it personally myself, I think the best thing to do is to speak about it with other people who have gone through these experiences and to share with one another and talk about it. If you didn’t have that chance when you were a child or baby, I don’t think it’s ever too late to actually try to deal with these things. But do it with people of like mind and maybe you’ll acquire a rest in the trauma and maybe a bit of understanding on how to deal with that and try to heal. What more could you ask for? That’s what I would try to do.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
"Womb Twin Survivors" Book Orders on Amazon
If you are trying to order Althea Hayton's newest book "Womb Twin Survivors" from Amazon, please note we are working to resolve issues so that orders can be filled as soon as possible. Althea is aware of the snag and is working on resolving it so that you won't have to wait longer than necessary. So if you experience any problems, be patient for another week or two while they correct the hold up.
Meanwhile, of course, you can always order direct from Althea at Wren Publications...or see snippets from the book on her website.
Feel free to share any feedback so we can stay on top of the book fulfillment process. We've waited long enough for Althea to write this book, and certainly don't want you to experience any more delays! It is her most comprehensive book yet, jam packed with useful information...I can't help but wonder how different my life would've been to have had this information sooner and that makes me so excited for young womb twin survivors today. Get this book and shave years of suffering off your life! Heartfelt gratitude to Althea Hayton for figuring this out!!
Meanwhile, of course, you can always order direct from Althea at Wren Publications...or see snippets from the book on her website.
Feel free to share any feedback so we can stay on top of the book fulfillment process. We've waited long enough for Althea to write this book, and certainly don't want you to experience any more delays! It is her most comprehensive book yet, jam packed with useful information...I can't help but wonder how different my life would've been to have had this information sooner and that makes me so excited for young womb twin survivors today. Get this book and shave years of suffering off your life! Heartfelt gratitude to Althea Hayton for figuring this out!!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
More on the Healing Path from Althea Hayton
A healing path (2) Resentment into reconciliation
When you decide to open yourself to healing, the most difficult thing is the decision to act: the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life. The procedure and the process is its own reward.
To awaken from the Dream of the Womb requires that you become aware of what keeps you asleep. Even when you don’t realise it, you are constantly re enacting your dream. If you don’t know if you are awake or asleep then you cannot know when you have awakened. The awakening is the healing: it is as simple as that.
Letting go of the Dream, which has been your way of being for so long, will be very difficult indeed. waking up will be hard. To awaken and heal, you will have to always choose to do the most difficult thing. If it is very, very difficult, then you can know that you are trying to wake up.
THE PRACTICE OF SELF-FORGIVENESS - resentment into reconciliation
The Dream of the Womb is a treadmill or prison where there must never be change or growth. Self-forgiveness can change all that. The power of self-forgiveness can stop the treadmill and let you get off. It gets you from resentment to reconciliation.
Resentment
When you are lost in the Dream, you begrudge others their ability to drink the cup of life to the dregs. You feel bitter about the hurts and abuses against you in some distant past. You bear a grudge against the people who have made you feel bad about yourself - anyone will do. You take exception to any perceived attack on your self esteem. Perhaps you secretly believe that there is much to be aggrieved and angry about, but no one seems to understand. Trivial things annoy you excessively and you feel indignant about injustice. You feel jaundiced by life in general and peeved by stupid, irritating people. You feel put out about being ignored.
You would love express your resentment by being spiteful, unfriendly, ungenerous or vindictive, but perhaps you have personal standards of good behaviour so you suppress these feelings in the name of charity and forbearance. If you do not hold these rigid standards, then you probably tend to get into a rage from time to time where spite and vindictiveness surface and explode from within you. If not, then it takes very little to send you into a rage......
Whenever you are surrounded by animosity, bitterness and discontent this makes you unhappy and you resent feeling unhappy. You try to distance yourself from people of ill-will by suppressing all indignation, irritation, jealousy, malevolence and malice towards them and being “nice.’ You are often offended but say nothing and just suffer inwardly.
Reconciliation
If you can forgive yourself of the sin of simply being the person you are, then you can cease to feel resentment. You can pardon yourself for the rancour you feel when you think of your wasted life; you can remit what you owe to the people you have let down. You can acquit yourself of your imagined mistakes; clear yourself of blame; excuse your fond fantasies, for how else could you have kept alive your Dream for so long?
You can exonerate your self from self-imposed obligations. You can begin to indulge yourself and meet your emotional needs. You can feel pardoned for the things you did not do. You can excuse the way you have often taken on more than was your due. You can be spared the inner condemnation that you always feel; make allowances for the foolish things you have believed about yourself. You can overlook the minor blemishes on your character.
The reward for doing the difficult thing
Truly, the process of self-forgiveness is its own reward. As you forgive yourself, than you will be better at compassion to others. You will give in gracefully, be lenient to others when they make mistakes. You can become the forbearing person you always dreamed of being. You will be generous and understanding of yourself and others, as we all struggle on through life.
By deciding to use the power of forgiveness, you are allowing yourself to acknowledge your existing gifts. These are:
strength, potency, efficacy and stamina to get a job done;
guts, fortitude and endurance to solve problems;
forcefulness, assertiveness and aggression to fight wrong-doing;
the ability to be constructive in thought and deed.
vitality, cogency and adequacy
The ability to take responsibility for your own life and your part in relationships.
All these gifts will be there for you when you awaken from the Dream, so start today!
This may seem like the final stage of healing, but in fact it is only the first stage in making a beginning - there is much, much more to come, but without this first stage completed, none of that can be yours.
When you decide to open yourself to healing, the most difficult thing is the decision to act: the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life. The procedure and the process is its own reward.
To awaken from the Dream of the Womb requires that you become aware of what keeps you asleep. Even when you don’t realise it, you are constantly re enacting your dream. If you don’t know if you are awake or asleep then you cannot know when you have awakened. The awakening is the healing: it is as simple as that.
Letting go of the Dream, which has been your way of being for so long, will be very difficult indeed. waking up will be hard. To awaken and heal, you will have to always choose to do the most difficult thing. If it is very, very difficult, then you can know that you are trying to wake up.
THE PRACTICE OF SELF-FORGIVENESS - resentment into reconciliation
The Dream of the Womb is a treadmill or prison where there must never be change or growth. Self-forgiveness can change all that. The power of self-forgiveness can stop the treadmill and let you get off. It gets you from resentment to reconciliation.
Resentment
When you are lost in the Dream, you begrudge others their ability to drink the cup of life to the dregs. You feel bitter about the hurts and abuses against you in some distant past. You bear a grudge against the people who have made you feel bad about yourself - anyone will do. You take exception to any perceived attack on your self esteem. Perhaps you secretly believe that there is much to be aggrieved and angry about, but no one seems to understand. Trivial things annoy you excessively and you feel indignant about injustice. You feel jaundiced by life in general and peeved by stupid, irritating people. You feel put out about being ignored.
You would love express your resentment by being spiteful, unfriendly, ungenerous or vindictive, but perhaps you have personal standards of good behaviour so you suppress these feelings in the name of charity and forbearance. If you do not hold these rigid standards, then you probably tend to get into a rage from time to time where spite and vindictiveness surface and explode from within you. If not, then it takes very little to send you into a rage......
Whenever you are surrounded by animosity, bitterness and discontent this makes you unhappy and you resent feeling unhappy. You try to distance yourself from people of ill-will by suppressing all indignation, irritation, jealousy, malevolence and malice towards them and being “nice.’ You are often offended but say nothing and just suffer inwardly.
Reconciliation
If you can forgive yourself of the sin of simply being the person you are, then you can cease to feel resentment. You can pardon yourself for the rancour you feel when you think of your wasted life; you can remit what you owe to the people you have let down. You can acquit yourself of your imagined mistakes; clear yourself of blame; excuse your fond fantasies, for how else could you have kept alive your Dream for so long?
You can exonerate your self from self-imposed obligations. You can begin to indulge yourself and meet your emotional needs. You can feel pardoned for the things you did not do. You can excuse the way you have often taken on more than was your due. You can be spared the inner condemnation that you always feel; make allowances for the foolish things you have believed about yourself. You can overlook the minor blemishes on your character.
The reward for doing the difficult thing
Truly, the process of self-forgiveness is its own reward. As you forgive yourself, than you will be better at compassion to others. You will give in gracefully, be lenient to others when they make mistakes. You can become the forbearing person you always dreamed of being. You will be generous and understanding of yourself and others, as we all struggle on through life.
By deciding to use the power of forgiveness, you are allowing yourself to acknowledge your existing gifts. These are:
strength, potency, efficacy and stamina to get a job done;
guts, fortitude and endurance to solve problems;
forcefulness, assertiveness and aggression to fight wrong-doing;
the ability to be constructive in thought and deed.
vitality, cogency and adequacy
The ability to take responsibility for your own life and your part in relationships.
All these gifts will be there for you when you awaken from the Dream, so start today!
This may seem like the final stage of healing, but in fact it is only the first stage in making a beginning - there is much, much more to come, but without this first stage completed, none of that can be yours.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Interview with a Well Adjusted Womb Twin Survivor - They do exist!
How rare to meet a womb twin survivor who is well adjusted - I had to know more about his story ... what is his secret? He and his family handled it well and it made all the difference.
This is an interview with an adult male whose fraternal twin sister was lost during the birth process, although it was understood she would go from early on (most likely due to twin-to-twin transfusion) as she was undernourished. I just happened to meet this person and discover we both lost our twin sister at birth. He is not involved in the womb twin community and has no awareness of the healing path or that there are others like him who are on it.
He struck me as a rare example of a womb twin survivor who is well adjusted and accepting of the situation and therefore free of many problems associated with the syndrome, largely in part due to the healthy way he and his family embraced the loss. There were many generations of twins in the family and this was simply his version of the twin story which was acknowledged and had its place in the family history. Unlike so many families in our culture who repress lost twins, usually out of grief and ignorance which causes further damage due to mishandling, he and his family handled it well and therefore it sits well in him.
Tell us about your mother’s pregnancy while carrying you, whatever you may know, as well as your birth experience?
I think she didn’t know she was having twins at first, this was in the 1950’s when they didn’t have the technology, one was behind the other. Then towards the end they realized. I was 2 ½ months premature and my mom was going thru some weird stuff in her life and was suicidal. She told me she was on the verge of jumping in front of a subway train but she had stopped herself because of myself and my twin sister within her. That was always interesting later, there was a close bond thing between us. But during birth she told me this story about these three spiritual people, wise men, saying as she was giving birth “One has to go back” and I could sort of sense it when she was talking about it.
Do you think that was the first time she became aware that she was carrying twins?
I think so, I think it was pretty close in time.
I always thought about that – especially during teen/young adulthood, that my sister decided not to come onto this plane. This is a crazy world and there have been times I’ve been a little jealous that she went off onto great adventures, especially now, I mean, I’ve always known this intuitively before it was known in astrophysics, how huge the universe is and it gets bigger everyday as we see more into the great beyond. I think there’s a lot out there and I’ve always thought how ironic I can almost see us together sort of looking at planet earth coming in, as energy sources and she is sort of skidding off the atmosphere saying “No!”
So she was already skiddish before she even went in?
I wonder – it’s all so fast, the inception of life, so it’s questionable. They say you are an intelligent being at 8 weeks into conception, whether or not you are actually a part of this biosphere or not is to be questioned.
I had a friend who had a near death experience and left his body, he talked about this white cord that kept going in the atmosphere..so l don’t know if, as a spirit entity that tether comes toward the biosphere and hooks onto it, I don’t know but I always thought it was interesting that she didn’t…when I was young I missed her [referring to his twin]. My aunt had fraternal twins male/female a year older than me, also when I was a teenager she told me my grandmother had a twin also but lost it before birth.
So you had a mirror image of a fraternal twin pair growing up?
Not really – she had a foot/skeletal problem and was frail, and the boy was fine, he was big – bigger than me.
Do you know who was born first?
I don’t know, I assume she was because she was more mature but she was physically frail so it’s hard to tell.
Anyway, back to my mom and the three men during my birth, so the story was my mom would have to put one [twin] back and I have a hard time remembering her decision (she’s deceased now) but I sort of pushed myself out. I had a want to come out here. My sister wasn’t born alive, I don’t know when she died but it was during the birth.
What happened was, my mom didn’t know she was having twins and she wasn’t eating enough food for two and apparently I was eating all the food and my sister wasn’t nourished properly. I don’t think she knew there were twins until she went into labor. It’s hard for me to recall all of it exactly but I was 3 lbs 8 ozs and in an incubator for a good 2 months and it was kind of odd because they realized about a month before I was born, because I was born in February, that the oxygen had been blinding kids. They figured out how to do it right – that’s what happened to Stevie Wonder, the oxygen was too strong and it burned his eyes out. That’s what I kind of remember, my mom was struck by that and it was sort of a premonition that she was going to have to put one back.
So she knew in her soul that she’d have to put one back even though the medical doctors hadn’t yet confirmed she was carrying twins?
Yes.
Do you have any pre-birth memories you can personally recall?
I remember things very vividly from 2-3 years old whereas most people don’t.
But I don’t know, I remember her and I took it as a given – because these stories I didn’t know til later like age 9 or 10 (even though I was always told I was a twin from the beginning).
I always took it as a given and wasn’t really upset about it, I missed her and there was curiosity.
My mom used to talk about it a lot, so I guess any of the trauma that might have occurred she subdued by acknowledging it, talking about it. It would be a curious thing if I had a mother who negated it and tried to act like it didn’t happen and I could definitely see that as being a very traumatic experience. But I took it as a given, that everything was more or less ok and that this was just something that happened and was part of the experience of Being. My mom was very good at that – embracing this experience of Being. She always referred to us as Human Beings, and that concept of Being had a profound understanding.
(I refer to the “Be” heart image I posted on this blog this past Valentine’s Day as it relates to Being a Self)
Yes, but it’s not just a Be, it’s the act of Be-ing.
It’s not just a noun, it’s an adjective, it’s an act. It’s very much this living expression. With humans there is some kind of weird difference from animals, and that difference is Human Being. This presence of now. Not only now, but the linear time frame. Animals are mostly in the present and really don’t have a huge concept of linear time, I don’t necessarily agree with that I think it’s shorter maybe, I know from my experience of dealing with animals they do have a history of understanding but they don’t have this act of Being that we have.
What I was once told about this is, that humans differ in that they have capability of Story. They have a sense of story, and ability to pass that on, that animals don’t.
That’s an interesting way of putting it, yes, my mother was very much an oracle, a storyteller and that was a very big part of learning from her – through the stories. Anyway, she quelled the trauma that might have been superceded…
So you know that in your bones?
That how she handled it definitely affected how you handled it?
Yes it’s that weird innate connection/bond that we had, because when she said she didn’t jump in front of that subway (train) it was because I was helping her, and we maintained that throughout our lives. This camaraderie, nurturing and helping the sustainability between us.
Would you say she was like a twin to you in a way?
That maternal bond is extremely strong – no, my mom wasn’t my sibling or my friend, we were very close but she was my mother. She wasn’t your stereotypical mother but she was my mother and she made that clear. I sense my twin and her being is a different entity. It’s a distinct character.
So you never saw your mother as sort of like a twin consolation prize?
Never, never. I always sensed my [twin] sister’s presence, sometimes even now.
Going back to the subway incident, can you personally recall that in utero?
It’s hard to tell…here’s a sidebar analogy:
He then recounts a memory from the age of 3 in Mexico where he was standing on the bay intrigued by the small island in the distance. One day a woman came and put him on her back and attempted to swim out to the island to fulfill his dream of going there. On the way she grew tired and frightened that she would not make it. He calmed her down and told her it was going to be ok. Then a boat came and rescued them, but he connected this to being a similar situation to his mom in the subway where they comforted each other to survive.
I wonder if this could be a repeat of your womb story with your twin? Sometimes these dynamics repeat in order to bring them to awareness.
Yes. That’s why this was such a profound moment in my life.
You had to trust a stranger!
Well, no, she was actually trusting me!
But you were only 3 and that’s amazing a woman would take a 3 year old out into the ocean…
But she got tranced into what I was doing with this thing (meaning his wanting to go to the island) and then she got scared and this boat came and pulled us out of the water. The boat literally came out of nowhere from my perspective, all of a sudden it just appeared.
Do you have that in other parts of your life, this comforting other women to get where you need to go?
Yes with my mother, my younger sister, my nephews as babies, when they’re babies there’s no gender really. So in that sense it sort of repeated many times.
How much younger was your sister and were you always clear she was your sister and not your twin?
Yes, she was 10 years younger and always my sister. To her I was kind of a father also, because of the age difference.
Did your twin have a name and if not, what name would you give her?
Before my sister was born, my mom would talk about my twin sister, and she was going to name my sister Afrika and she said that was the name she wanted to give my twin [chuckling happily] so I guess that was her name.
So for you, that’s her name too?
Yes.
Getting back to when you were coming in and seeing earth, and this tether thing..
Did you and your twin have an agreement or pact between you and if you could put that into words how would you say it?
I don’t know, you know, yes…I guess there was this unity in the womb. We were spiritually going into this form of living, this – what do you call it – you know when you come into this plane and you go into a womb and you become a living entity, I seem to remember we were doing it together and I kind of sense that…
It was always a curiosity when my mom said I was the one who was nurtured the most, it was really hard to figure out how that happened but in a way I kind of sensed that if one wasn’t gonna get it then both of us would’ve probably died. If we split the nutrition, we probably both would’ve died. I don’t think there was enough for two so one had to get the greater amount and I get the sense that she [my twin] said “ok”…
Did you ever feel guilty about that?
No, not at all.
Thankful?
Yeah, but sort of beyond that though…
How did you feel?
It was sort of like a given, it was something that needed to be done and maybe because I was the one. I mean, if she was the one, then I would’ve probably died. So it wasn’t really like a sense of obli…I don’t know, not like a material thing, like “it’s mine, I’m going to take it” you know but this obligation because of nature and nurture, survival. I sort of sense her moving on, and that was a given too, she went back to the continuum.
Do you have a sense of when that was?
I do, it was during birth…and it was a given. It was what was supposed to be done. There was no hierarchy involved but later as I got older I got a sense of jealousy towards her that she…in a way it’s kind of strange, I always had a sense of her being the stronger spirit. I don’t know if that’s the influence of the matriarchal bond and knowledge, not only from my mom but my grandmother and women in general and just as females in general, as a gender with the species. I don’t know if that was the case or if it was just that she, I always had reverence towards her because of that, that strength. Even though she was the weaker one, there was a great deal of strength for her to make that move and sacrifice. There have been many times that I’ve missed her and thought she would help me through these weird situations. She would have a clear stable mind and give me advice and understand.
This is kind of weird, these feelings are old feelings that haven’t really been talked out…but as I’m expressing them, I know them instinctually to be very old feelings.
So how often to do you think about your twin?
A lot actually.
Would you say daily or more than daily, weekly, monthly….?
I don’t know, maybe weekly, bi weekly, sometimes daily. I’d say frequent, often. I’d say more often than not.
So she’s really still very much a part of you?
Yeah, yeah.
So can you distinguish between her energy and your energy as a twin?
Oh yeah. Not only that, but the sub-entities within myself. I guess there are one or two of them. But that’s separate than her also. It’s a distinct entity that I’ve always sensed, it’s not me, you know.
So about the sub-entities within… Do you feel like you have a dual personality yourself? Do you feel an alpha/beta thing or how would you describe it?
I wouldn’t call it like a dual personality per se, I would say there is some kind of weird polarization and I think that’s pretty common in most clear healthy human beings. You know in mythology, I was very enamored by Pinocchio and Jiminy Crickit and this other entity within yourself speaking to you and when I was younger it was very loud. Very loud.
Was it masculine or feminine?
It’s masculine I guess.
So it was you, it’s coming from you?
Yeah, yeah, definitely. You know, it was me but it was very separate at the same time.
So there’s a duality right there.
Yeah, but I remember I would have these dreams when I was young that started around 6 or 7, maybe earlier but I started having these dreams of flying and I could never really do it. I was afraid, I wouldn’t get too much lift and this would go on for years. Then I’d get a little more lift, I could get to the 2nd floor of the library on 10th Street between A& B. I was a little scared of flying, this would go on for years and I wouldn’t get much higher than the second floor. Then later, I’d get a little higher and get a little more control. This went on for decades. Then I might’ve been in my 20’s…
My life in the outside world prior to 6 or 7 yrs old, 1st grade was ok but in 2nd grade I was in an inferior school and the teacher thought I was smart so assigned me to a smarter class. My mom transferred me to another school where the learning curve was way too high and I didn’t have academic training even though I was with people at the same intelligence level. The point being, it turned out I had dyslexia and when I got to 2nd grade I cheated on a spelling test to avoid embarrassment and she humiliated me in front of the whole class. That left a really bad…it was a really bad experience. My school experience with other people and friends – I lived on the East Side/they lived on the West Side, rich people/poor people, hipsters/straight and all these dualities..in that environment with friends & relatives, brilliant brilliant people, I was on par with them but in the normal social environs & activities were exceedingly uncomfortable. I didn’t live in the same neighborhood, but I understand why my mom did it and I don’t necessarily regret it, but it was very difficult to navigate through.
So you had a lot of anxiety?
A lot of anxiety. And then they took me out of the smart class and put me in the lower class because I cheated on that test and was put with the inferior people that weren’t as smart and I was bored to tears but I didn’t have the academic wherewithal and luckily I went to some private schools for dyslexia. But I could do a lot of things that no one else could do plus my mom was always teaching me things and I was always learning things so it was a weird dichotomy and I didn’t know til much later – I didn’t read my first cover to cover book til I was 16 or 17 and it was Hesse – and I remember reading ‘A Stranger In A Strange Land’ and I identify with that stranger so much, I still do, feeling like on this planet and not being able to fit in properly. Being a person with a big heart and kind and other people not understanding it and even castigating you behind it. Anyway, I really identified with that. I thought about my sister again and if she were around, I mean, my mom helped a lot but it took a really long time until I had friends per se. There were always interruptions for a lot of different reasons. It would get really good and then something would happen and they would get taken away or move or all these pretty heavy scenes.
Did you feel lonely?
No, I was never lonely per se but was very disheartened because of these interruptions.
I remember we moved around a lot and we didn’t have a steady continual environ until 5 or 6 yrs old and we stayed in that place until I was 13. Best friends would move, another came to live with us then he was taken away and we were really close and that was a huge break up.
Is it repeated abandonment?
Not only abandonment but you find somebody you gel with and then it almost gets to a point of familiarity, a comfort level, where you’re not guessing anymore and it’s this nice comeraderie and you start to work on that kind of magic - which is a whole other thing to perpetuate and when it gets interrupted, it’s like you’re suddenly floundering in the ocean, you know.
I would try to connect with fellow pupils and it was very difficult. I was always kind of an outsider.
So you’ve always felt different?
Always. I mean, yeah, always. It’s always been hard, I’ve led a very difficult life. I’ve always feigned a sense of complacency or chill or whatever…to fit in and not call attention to how different I am and also to maintain a level of sanity. I used to make these really deep reflections and go through thoroughly what happened over the past 6 months or year, biannually maybe more, thorough inspections of what I had done. I did that for 15-20 years but it hasn’t happened in a really long time but I used to sort of be my own therapist. That’s why I have had trouble with therapists, I am my own therapist because I do a better job.
As we conclude Part I of II of this interview, I offer some information about being a womb twin re: boundaries, navigating the world as an individual, hypersensitivity, Self awareness, duality, black holes – all which he agress with and finds very interesting. He said:
Talking about this like we’re doing is not only airing it out but bringing it back up so you can see it and identify with it, relate with it, embrace it and be part of it again. I always refer to this act of Being as Nativity. It’s a word I got in a weird altered state, my mother was very much a visionary, a seer, an oracle, an untrained shaman. She didn’t like it sometimes, she didn’t want to know, it was a burden. She didn’t have a lot of control because she wasn’t trained at it and it would scare her. My level of perception is acute in many ways, I don’t call it an extrasensory perception, I call is an intelligence, i.e. intelligence = perception. The keener your perception the more intelligent you are. I’m not necessarily academically intellectual in all levels I’m not a master of math but I understand physics. My friends, who are brilliant, say “It’s ok, you communicate that anyway” without knowing the language of mathematics. Talking about this starts to open up the perception and, as you said, dealing with these uncomfortable navigations.
It’s all about maintaining the species, Darwin called it survival of the fittest. But it’s like, life wants to live and if one has to die for it to live, that’s what it does and that’s not an act of violence it’s an act of kindness actually. That’s what I see. For some reason, human beings get it confused, I don’t know exactly why.
I look forward to Part II of our interview and beyond!
Thanks for reading...
Monica
This is an interview with an adult male whose fraternal twin sister was lost during the birth process, although it was understood she would go from early on (most likely due to twin-to-twin transfusion) as she was undernourished. I just happened to meet this person and discover we both lost our twin sister at birth. He is not involved in the womb twin community and has no awareness of the healing path or that there are others like him who are on it.
He struck me as a rare example of a womb twin survivor who is well adjusted and accepting of the situation and therefore free of many problems associated with the syndrome, largely in part due to the healthy way he and his family embraced the loss. There were many generations of twins in the family and this was simply his version of the twin story which was acknowledged and had its place in the family history. Unlike so many families in our culture who repress lost twins, usually out of grief and ignorance which causes further damage due to mishandling, he and his family handled it well and therefore it sits well in him.
Tell us about your mother’s pregnancy while carrying you, whatever you may know, as well as your birth experience?
I think she didn’t know she was having twins at first, this was in the 1950’s when they didn’t have the technology, one was behind the other. Then towards the end they realized. I was 2 ½ months premature and my mom was going thru some weird stuff in her life and was suicidal. She told me she was on the verge of jumping in front of a subway train but she had stopped herself because of myself and my twin sister within her. That was always interesting later, there was a close bond thing between us. But during birth she told me this story about these three spiritual people, wise men, saying as she was giving birth “One has to go back” and I could sort of sense it when she was talking about it.
Do you think that was the first time she became aware that she was carrying twins?
I think so, I think it was pretty close in time.
I always thought about that – especially during teen/young adulthood, that my sister decided not to come onto this plane. This is a crazy world and there have been times I’ve been a little jealous that she went off onto great adventures, especially now, I mean, I’ve always known this intuitively before it was known in astrophysics, how huge the universe is and it gets bigger everyday as we see more into the great beyond. I think there’s a lot out there and I’ve always thought how ironic I can almost see us together sort of looking at planet earth coming in, as energy sources and she is sort of skidding off the atmosphere saying “No!”
So she was already skiddish before she even went in?
I wonder – it’s all so fast, the inception of life, so it’s questionable. They say you are an intelligent being at 8 weeks into conception, whether or not you are actually a part of this biosphere or not is to be questioned.
I had a friend who had a near death experience and left his body, he talked about this white cord that kept going in the atmosphere..so l don’t know if, as a spirit entity that tether comes toward the biosphere and hooks onto it, I don’t know but I always thought it was interesting that she didn’t…when I was young I missed her [referring to his twin]. My aunt had fraternal twins male/female a year older than me, also when I was a teenager she told me my grandmother had a twin also but lost it before birth.
So you had a mirror image of a fraternal twin pair growing up?
Not really – she had a foot/skeletal problem and was frail, and the boy was fine, he was big – bigger than me.
Do you know who was born first?
I don’t know, I assume she was because she was more mature but she was physically frail so it’s hard to tell.
Anyway, back to my mom and the three men during my birth, so the story was my mom would have to put one [twin] back and I have a hard time remembering her decision (she’s deceased now) but I sort of pushed myself out. I had a want to come out here. My sister wasn’t born alive, I don’t know when she died but it was during the birth.
What happened was, my mom didn’t know she was having twins and she wasn’t eating enough food for two and apparently I was eating all the food and my sister wasn’t nourished properly. I don’t think she knew there were twins until she went into labor. It’s hard for me to recall all of it exactly but I was 3 lbs 8 ozs and in an incubator for a good 2 months and it was kind of odd because they realized about a month before I was born, because I was born in February, that the oxygen had been blinding kids. They figured out how to do it right – that’s what happened to Stevie Wonder, the oxygen was too strong and it burned his eyes out. That’s what I kind of remember, my mom was struck by that and it was sort of a premonition that she was going to have to put one back.
So she knew in her soul that she’d have to put one back even though the medical doctors hadn’t yet confirmed she was carrying twins?
Yes.
Do you have any pre-birth memories you can personally recall?
I remember things very vividly from 2-3 years old whereas most people don’t.
But I don’t know, I remember her and I took it as a given – because these stories I didn’t know til later like age 9 or 10 (even though I was always told I was a twin from the beginning).
I always took it as a given and wasn’t really upset about it, I missed her and there was curiosity.
My mom used to talk about it a lot, so I guess any of the trauma that might have occurred she subdued by acknowledging it, talking about it. It would be a curious thing if I had a mother who negated it and tried to act like it didn’t happen and I could definitely see that as being a very traumatic experience. But I took it as a given, that everything was more or less ok and that this was just something that happened and was part of the experience of Being. My mom was very good at that – embracing this experience of Being. She always referred to us as Human Beings, and that concept of Being had a profound understanding.
(I refer to the “Be” heart image I posted on this blog this past Valentine’s Day as it relates to Being a Self)
Yes, but it’s not just a Be, it’s the act of Be-ing.
It’s not just a noun, it’s an adjective, it’s an act. It’s very much this living expression. With humans there is some kind of weird difference from animals, and that difference is Human Being. This presence of now. Not only now, but the linear time frame. Animals are mostly in the present and really don’t have a huge concept of linear time, I don’t necessarily agree with that I think it’s shorter maybe, I know from my experience of dealing with animals they do have a history of understanding but they don’t have this act of Being that we have.
What I was once told about this is, that humans differ in that they have capability of Story. They have a sense of story, and ability to pass that on, that animals don’t.
That’s an interesting way of putting it, yes, my mother was very much an oracle, a storyteller and that was a very big part of learning from her – through the stories. Anyway, she quelled the trauma that might have been superceded…
So you know that in your bones?
That how she handled it definitely affected how you handled it?
Yes it’s that weird innate connection/bond that we had, because when she said she didn’t jump in front of that subway (train) it was because I was helping her, and we maintained that throughout our lives. This camaraderie, nurturing and helping the sustainability between us.
Would you say she was like a twin to you in a way?
That maternal bond is extremely strong – no, my mom wasn’t my sibling or my friend, we were very close but she was my mother. She wasn’t your stereotypical mother but she was my mother and she made that clear. I sense my twin and her being is a different entity. It’s a distinct character.
So you never saw your mother as sort of like a twin consolation prize?
Never, never. I always sensed my [twin] sister’s presence, sometimes even now.
Going back to the subway incident, can you personally recall that in utero?
It’s hard to tell…here’s a sidebar analogy:
He then recounts a memory from the age of 3 in Mexico where he was standing on the bay intrigued by the small island in the distance. One day a woman came and put him on her back and attempted to swim out to the island to fulfill his dream of going there. On the way she grew tired and frightened that she would not make it. He calmed her down and told her it was going to be ok. Then a boat came and rescued them, but he connected this to being a similar situation to his mom in the subway where they comforted each other to survive.
I wonder if this could be a repeat of your womb story with your twin? Sometimes these dynamics repeat in order to bring them to awareness.
Yes. That’s why this was such a profound moment in my life.
You had to trust a stranger!
Well, no, she was actually trusting me!
But you were only 3 and that’s amazing a woman would take a 3 year old out into the ocean…
But she got tranced into what I was doing with this thing (meaning his wanting to go to the island) and then she got scared and this boat came and pulled us out of the water. The boat literally came out of nowhere from my perspective, all of a sudden it just appeared.
Do you have that in other parts of your life, this comforting other women to get where you need to go?
Yes with my mother, my younger sister, my nephews as babies, when they’re babies there’s no gender really. So in that sense it sort of repeated many times.
How much younger was your sister and were you always clear she was your sister and not your twin?
Yes, she was 10 years younger and always my sister. To her I was kind of a father also, because of the age difference.
Did your twin have a name and if not, what name would you give her?
Before my sister was born, my mom would talk about my twin sister, and she was going to name my sister Afrika and she said that was the name she wanted to give my twin [chuckling happily] so I guess that was her name.
So for you, that’s her name too?
Yes.
Getting back to when you were coming in and seeing earth, and this tether thing..
Did you and your twin have an agreement or pact between you and if you could put that into words how would you say it?
I don’t know, you know, yes…I guess there was this unity in the womb. We were spiritually going into this form of living, this – what do you call it – you know when you come into this plane and you go into a womb and you become a living entity, I seem to remember we were doing it together and I kind of sense that…
It was always a curiosity when my mom said I was the one who was nurtured the most, it was really hard to figure out how that happened but in a way I kind of sensed that if one wasn’t gonna get it then both of us would’ve probably died. If we split the nutrition, we probably both would’ve died. I don’t think there was enough for two so one had to get the greater amount and I get the sense that she [my twin] said “ok”…
Did you ever feel guilty about that?
No, not at all.
Thankful?
Yeah, but sort of beyond that though…
How did you feel?
It was sort of like a given, it was something that needed to be done and maybe because I was the one. I mean, if she was the one, then I would’ve probably died. So it wasn’t really like a sense of obli…I don’t know, not like a material thing, like “it’s mine, I’m going to take it” you know but this obligation because of nature and nurture, survival. I sort of sense her moving on, and that was a given too, she went back to the continuum.
Do you have a sense of when that was?
I do, it was during birth…and it was a given. It was what was supposed to be done. There was no hierarchy involved but later as I got older I got a sense of jealousy towards her that she…in a way it’s kind of strange, I always had a sense of her being the stronger spirit. I don’t know if that’s the influence of the matriarchal bond and knowledge, not only from my mom but my grandmother and women in general and just as females in general, as a gender with the species. I don’t know if that was the case or if it was just that she, I always had reverence towards her because of that, that strength. Even though she was the weaker one, there was a great deal of strength for her to make that move and sacrifice. There have been many times that I’ve missed her and thought she would help me through these weird situations. She would have a clear stable mind and give me advice and understand.
This is kind of weird, these feelings are old feelings that haven’t really been talked out…but as I’m expressing them, I know them instinctually to be very old feelings.
So how often to do you think about your twin?
A lot actually.
Would you say daily or more than daily, weekly, monthly….?
I don’t know, maybe weekly, bi weekly, sometimes daily. I’d say frequent, often. I’d say more often than not.
So she’s really still very much a part of you?
Yeah, yeah.
So can you distinguish between her energy and your energy as a twin?
Oh yeah. Not only that, but the sub-entities within myself. I guess there are one or two of them. But that’s separate than her also. It’s a distinct entity that I’ve always sensed, it’s not me, you know.
So about the sub-entities within… Do you feel like you have a dual personality yourself? Do you feel an alpha/beta thing or how would you describe it?
I wouldn’t call it like a dual personality per se, I would say there is some kind of weird polarization and I think that’s pretty common in most clear healthy human beings. You know in mythology, I was very enamored by Pinocchio and Jiminy Crickit and this other entity within yourself speaking to you and when I was younger it was very loud. Very loud.
Was it masculine or feminine?
It’s masculine I guess.
So it was you, it’s coming from you?
Yeah, yeah, definitely. You know, it was me but it was very separate at the same time.
So there’s a duality right there.
Yeah, but I remember I would have these dreams when I was young that started around 6 or 7, maybe earlier but I started having these dreams of flying and I could never really do it. I was afraid, I wouldn’t get too much lift and this would go on for years. Then I’d get a little more lift, I could get to the 2nd floor of the library on 10th Street between A& B. I was a little scared of flying, this would go on for years and I wouldn’t get much higher than the second floor. Then later, I’d get a little higher and get a little more control. This went on for decades. Then I might’ve been in my 20’s…
My life in the outside world prior to 6 or 7 yrs old, 1st grade was ok but in 2nd grade I was in an inferior school and the teacher thought I was smart so assigned me to a smarter class. My mom transferred me to another school where the learning curve was way too high and I didn’t have academic training even though I was with people at the same intelligence level. The point being, it turned out I had dyslexia and when I got to 2nd grade I cheated on a spelling test to avoid embarrassment and she humiliated me in front of the whole class. That left a really bad…it was a really bad experience. My school experience with other people and friends – I lived on the East Side/they lived on the West Side, rich people/poor people, hipsters/straight and all these dualities..in that environment with friends & relatives, brilliant brilliant people, I was on par with them but in the normal social environs & activities were exceedingly uncomfortable. I didn’t live in the same neighborhood, but I understand why my mom did it and I don’t necessarily regret it, but it was very difficult to navigate through.
So you had a lot of anxiety?
A lot of anxiety. And then they took me out of the smart class and put me in the lower class because I cheated on that test and was put with the inferior people that weren’t as smart and I was bored to tears but I didn’t have the academic wherewithal and luckily I went to some private schools for dyslexia. But I could do a lot of things that no one else could do plus my mom was always teaching me things and I was always learning things so it was a weird dichotomy and I didn’t know til much later – I didn’t read my first cover to cover book til I was 16 or 17 and it was Hesse – and I remember reading ‘A Stranger In A Strange Land’ and I identify with that stranger so much, I still do, feeling like on this planet and not being able to fit in properly. Being a person with a big heart and kind and other people not understanding it and even castigating you behind it. Anyway, I really identified with that. I thought about my sister again and if she were around, I mean, my mom helped a lot but it took a really long time until I had friends per se. There were always interruptions for a lot of different reasons. It would get really good and then something would happen and they would get taken away or move or all these pretty heavy scenes.
Did you feel lonely?
No, I was never lonely per se but was very disheartened because of these interruptions.
I remember we moved around a lot and we didn’t have a steady continual environ until 5 or 6 yrs old and we stayed in that place until I was 13. Best friends would move, another came to live with us then he was taken away and we were really close and that was a huge break up.
Is it repeated abandonment?
Not only abandonment but you find somebody you gel with and then it almost gets to a point of familiarity, a comfort level, where you’re not guessing anymore and it’s this nice comeraderie and you start to work on that kind of magic - which is a whole other thing to perpetuate and when it gets interrupted, it’s like you’re suddenly floundering in the ocean, you know.
I would try to connect with fellow pupils and it was very difficult. I was always kind of an outsider.
So you’ve always felt different?
Always. I mean, yeah, always. It’s always been hard, I’ve led a very difficult life. I’ve always feigned a sense of complacency or chill or whatever…to fit in and not call attention to how different I am and also to maintain a level of sanity. I used to make these really deep reflections and go through thoroughly what happened over the past 6 months or year, biannually maybe more, thorough inspections of what I had done. I did that for 15-20 years but it hasn’t happened in a really long time but I used to sort of be my own therapist. That’s why I have had trouble with therapists, I am my own therapist because I do a better job.
As we conclude Part I of II of this interview, I offer some information about being a womb twin re: boundaries, navigating the world as an individual, hypersensitivity, Self awareness, duality, black holes – all which he agress with and finds very interesting. He said:
Talking about this like we’re doing is not only airing it out but bringing it back up so you can see it and identify with it, relate with it, embrace it and be part of it again. I always refer to this act of Being as Nativity. It’s a word I got in a weird altered state, my mother was very much a visionary, a seer, an oracle, an untrained shaman. She didn’t like it sometimes, she didn’t want to know, it was a burden. She didn’t have a lot of control because she wasn’t trained at it and it would scare her. My level of perception is acute in many ways, I don’t call it an extrasensory perception, I call is an intelligence, i.e. intelligence = perception. The keener your perception the more intelligent you are. I’m not necessarily academically intellectual in all levels I’m not a master of math but I understand physics. My friends, who are brilliant, say “It’s ok, you communicate that anyway” without knowing the language of mathematics. Talking about this starts to open up the perception and, as you said, dealing with these uncomfortable navigations.
It’s all about maintaining the species, Darwin called it survival of the fittest. But it’s like, life wants to live and if one has to die for it to live, that’s what it does and that’s not an act of violence it’s an act of kindness actually. That’s what I see. For some reason, human beings get it confused, I don’t know exactly why.
I look forward to Part II of our interview and beyond!
Thanks for reading...
Monica
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Sunday, January 22, 2012
Feb 1 - New Opening Date for Womb Twin Art Exhibition in NYC
Opening on February 1, 2012, a group art show on the subject of "Diversity" will be on exhibition for one month at Madison Avenue + 50th Street in NYC. One of the artists, womb twin survivor Monica Hudson, will show a body of work entitled, "Lost Twin Souls" made up of 60 9"x9" abstract oil paintings.
"These 'portraits' of lost twin souls channeled through me onto each canvas. I became a conduit through which the unique energy of lost twins who never made it to our world flowed, rebirthing themselves into abstract/ethereal forms - via oil paint, mineral 'spirits' and glitter - which could be recognized and revered, rather than ignored and unseen. Each portrait has its own personality which informed my choices of color, shape, layering, manipulation and completion. Since many lost womb twins go undetected, these paintings almost serve as family portraits belonging to any of us. The simultaneous use of oil paint and paint remover imparts into the work the duality of existing and not existing, much like the life of a wombtwin survivor. The visual articulation of this process was in itself deeply satisfying to me, not to mention the communion of twinship experienced by having these souls around."
Could one of these portraits be your twin?
For a sneak peek of the work, visit www.twindividual.com - "Monica's Art"
In addition to the paintings, Monica will exhibit a 9-photo collage on the subject of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
To get more details or an invitation to the show, please email: moniglam@gmail.com
Cheers,
Monica
"These 'portraits' of lost twin souls channeled through me onto each canvas. I became a conduit through which the unique energy of lost twins who never made it to our world flowed, rebirthing themselves into abstract/ethereal forms - via oil paint, mineral 'spirits' and glitter - which could be recognized and revered, rather than ignored and unseen. Each portrait has its own personality which informed my choices of color, shape, layering, manipulation and completion. Since many lost womb twins go undetected, these paintings almost serve as family portraits belonging to any of us. The simultaneous use of oil paint and paint remover imparts into the work the duality of existing and not existing, much like the life of a wombtwin survivor. The visual articulation of this process was in itself deeply satisfying to me, not to mention the communion of twinship experienced by having these souls around."
Could one of these portraits be your twin?
For a sneak peek of the work, visit www.twindividual.com - "Monica's Art"
In addition to the paintings, Monica will exhibit a 9-photo collage on the subject of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
To get more details or an invitation to the show, please email: moniglam@gmail.com
Cheers,
Monica
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Womb Twin Loss at Birth -or- Baby Stealing???
This is a story about twin/baby stealing in Spain, but when you think about it, this could have gone on anywhere at anytime. It sounds just like my story which took place in Michigan, USA in 1963 - my parents were told my twin died at birth but years later I was unable to locate any information about what happened to her. Although they donated her to science, there was no record of where she ended up. That may be customary for science donations, as I was told by the hospital and nearby university that she may have ended up in a mass grave or cremated. She could even be floating in a jar as a specimen for all I know. But reading this story made me think perhaps they could have falsified or exaggerated her condition to increase the chances of a science donation so that there would be less of a trail...I will never know if this is just a fantasy about looking for my twin or if this could really be the case. In any event, my heart goes out to the Vega family and I am thrilled they care enough to search for their son in case they can tell him he wasn't abandoned by them. They are wonderful parents!
Families fight to find children stolen as infants in Spain
Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:50 PM EST
By Kate Snow and Jessica Hopper
Rock Center
Luis Vega is on a mission to meet every man born in Madrid, Spain on Nov. 20, 1977. That's the day doctors told him that his baby son was stillborn, but he and his wife, Ines, believe their child was in fact stolen from the hospital.
“We have a son somewhere out there,” Luis Vega said.
The Vega family isn’t alone in believing their child was stolen. This year, more than a thousand families have come forward with claims that they were victims of baby trafficking committed by a variety of networks from the 1940s until as recently as the early 1990s.
Armed with a list of the 61 names of boys born in Madrid on the same day he lost his son, Vega is making calls and knocking on doors because he is convinced his son is alive.
“What we just want only, is to tell him, ‘You have not been abandoned,’” Vega said.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For Vega, the memory of his son’s birth is still fresh. He and his wife went to a hospital in Madrid on a Sunday in November 1977. They were already parents to one son and believed they were expecting just one more child when they received surprising news: they were having twins.
“I started to think, I got two,” Vega said. “So, I was absolutely excited, astonished.”
The excitement faded when doctors came to Vega and told him that one of the twins, a boy, was dead.
“I felt frozen,” he said.
Vega said the doctor told him, “I recommend you not see him.”
At that time in Spain, doctors were authority figures who were virtually unapproachable. Vega simply didn’t question that the doctor was telling the truth.
The doctor told Vega that the hospital would handle the burial of the baby boy. His wife, Ines, was under anesthesia and was unaware of what had happened. Vega ultimately told her the sad news.
The couple comforted one another and did their best to move on with their lives, raising their newborn daughter, Ana, and their older son.
Every year on Ana’s birthday, Luis and Ines talked about her twin, the boy they lost.
This January, Vega and his wife were eating lunch and watching TV when a news report stopped them cold and made them think that the son they’d lost 33 years ago might actually be alive.
An unbelievable story was exploding in the press, allegations that for decades, organized networks stole newborn babies from their mothers and sold the babies to other families. On January 27, more than 250 families filed cases with Spain’s attorney general. That number has since risen to nearly 1500 cases.
Vega and his wife requested documentation from the cemetery where they believed their son had been buried and sent a letter to the hospital where he had been born. Cemetery officials told them that no one had been buried at the cemetery with their family’s last name.
When Vega told his daughter, Ana, that her twin brother might be alive after all, she was shocked.
“I spent like a month with a knot in my stomach. I couldn’t eat,” she said.
Ana Vega created a blog to help in the search for her lost twin.
“We are not looking, you know, for revenge,” she said. “We just want to find him and that’s it and to, if he wants to, you know, be part of our family, great. If he doesn’t, well, you know, that’s his choice as well.”
If anyone is responsible for prompting the discovery of this dark part of Spain’s history, it is documentary filmmaker and author Montse Armengou. Armengou was among the very first to report on systematic baby stealing.
“In Spain, from a long period of time, from the ‘40s until ‘80s as a minimum, we can talk about children that were kidnapped from their families, from their mothers,” Armengou said.
It started as a form of political repression under Fascist dictator Francisco Franco. Franco seized power during the Spanish Civil War in the 1930s. Under his leadership, the government would remove children from mothers who were political prisoners and give them to families who supported the regime.
“[In] the beginning, [it] was a political repression and after became a moral and ideological repression against single mothers. You have to know that during the Franco’s regime, the power of Catholic Church was very, very strong,” Armengou said.
Doctors, often with the help of nuns, would tell young single mothers that their child was dead or force single mothers to give their children up for adoption. At the time, single young women were still considered minors until they were 26 years old.
“It’s impossible to ask for help because you are nothing,” Armengou said. “You are only a single mother. That means that you are nothing, you are garbage, you are waste.”
The political and moral repression became a booming business with families paying the equivalent of what it would cost for an apartment, in order to obtain a child.
For those who believe they are victims of the now defunct organized networks of baby stealing, the legal process has been frustratingly slow. Despite the hundreds of cases filed, no one has been charged with any crime.
“We’re moving as fast as we can. We’re dealing with cases that are incredibly difficult,” said prosecutor Pedro Crespo who has been tasked by Spain’s attorney general to coordinate the hundreds of official investigations across Spain.
Crespo said that the passage of time, incomplete records and the fact that many of those involved are already dead has hampered the investigations.
For some, like the Vega family, the doctor they hold responsible for stealing their child is still alive.
“This bastard has taken our life,” said an emotional Luis Vega.
Vega recently became the president of S.O.S. Bebes Robados Madrid, one of the organizations helping those who think they might be victims.
Vega said that he doesn’t expect he’ll ever truly get justice, but hopes ultimately he’ll find his son.
“I’m convinced,” Vega said. “Otherwise, why [am I] going to fight…I’m fighting for this and everything.”
Editor’s Note: Kate Snow’s full report, “Stolen At Birth,” airs on Rock Center with Brian Williams on Monday, Dec. 19 at 10 p.m./9 c.
Families fight to find children stolen as infants in Spain
Fri Dec 16, 2011 1:50 PM EST
By Kate Snow and Jessica Hopper
Rock Center
Luis Vega is on a mission to meet every man born in Madrid, Spain on Nov. 20, 1977. That's the day doctors told him that his baby son was stillborn, but he and his wife, Ines, believe their child was in fact stolen from the hospital.
“We have a son somewhere out there,” Luis Vega said.
The Vega family isn’t alone in believing their child was stolen. This year, more than a thousand families have come forward with claims that they were victims of baby trafficking committed by a variety of networks from the 1940s until as recently as the early 1990s.
Armed with a list of the 61 names of boys born in Madrid on the same day he lost his son, Vega is making calls and knocking on doors because he is convinced his son is alive.
“What we just want only, is to tell him, ‘You have not been abandoned,’” Vega said.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For Vega, the memory of his son’s birth is still fresh. He and his wife went to a hospital in Madrid on a Sunday in November 1977. They were already parents to one son and believed they were expecting just one more child when they received surprising news: they were having twins.
“I started to think, I got two,” Vega said. “So, I was absolutely excited, astonished.”
The excitement faded when doctors came to Vega and told him that one of the twins, a boy, was dead.
“I felt frozen,” he said.
Vega said the doctor told him, “I recommend you not see him.”
At that time in Spain, doctors were authority figures who were virtually unapproachable. Vega simply didn’t question that the doctor was telling the truth.
The doctor told Vega that the hospital would handle the burial of the baby boy. His wife, Ines, was under anesthesia and was unaware of what had happened. Vega ultimately told her the sad news.
The couple comforted one another and did their best to move on with their lives, raising their newborn daughter, Ana, and their older son.
Every year on Ana’s birthday, Luis and Ines talked about her twin, the boy they lost.
This January, Vega and his wife were eating lunch and watching TV when a news report stopped them cold and made them think that the son they’d lost 33 years ago might actually be alive.
An unbelievable story was exploding in the press, allegations that for decades, organized networks stole newborn babies from their mothers and sold the babies to other families. On January 27, more than 250 families filed cases with Spain’s attorney general. That number has since risen to nearly 1500 cases.
Vega and his wife requested documentation from the cemetery where they believed their son had been buried and sent a letter to the hospital where he had been born. Cemetery officials told them that no one had been buried at the cemetery with their family’s last name.
When Vega told his daughter, Ana, that her twin brother might be alive after all, she was shocked.
“I spent like a month with a knot in my stomach. I couldn’t eat,” she said.
Ana Vega created a blog to help in the search for her lost twin.
“We are not looking, you know, for revenge,” she said. “We just want to find him and that’s it and to, if he wants to, you know, be part of our family, great. If he doesn’t, well, you know, that’s his choice as well.”
If anyone is responsible for prompting the discovery of this dark part of Spain’s history, it is documentary filmmaker and author Montse Armengou. Armengou was among the very first to report on systematic baby stealing.
“In Spain, from a long period of time, from the ‘40s until ‘80s as a minimum, we can talk about children that were kidnapped from their families, from their mothers,” Armengou said.
It started as a form of political repression under Fascist dictator Francisco Franco. Franco seized power during the Spanish Civil War in the 1930s. Under his leadership, the government would remove children from mothers who were political prisoners and give them to families who supported the regime.
“[In] the beginning, [it] was a political repression and after became a moral and ideological repression against single mothers. You have to know that during the Franco’s regime, the power of Catholic Church was very, very strong,” Armengou said.
Doctors, often with the help of nuns, would tell young single mothers that their child was dead or force single mothers to give their children up for adoption. At the time, single young women were still considered minors until they were 26 years old.
“It’s impossible to ask for help because you are nothing,” Armengou said. “You are only a single mother. That means that you are nothing, you are garbage, you are waste.”
The political and moral repression became a booming business with families paying the equivalent of what it would cost for an apartment, in order to obtain a child.
For those who believe they are victims of the now defunct organized networks of baby stealing, the legal process has been frustratingly slow. Despite the hundreds of cases filed, no one has been charged with any crime.
“We’re moving as fast as we can. We’re dealing with cases that are incredibly difficult,” said prosecutor Pedro Crespo who has been tasked by Spain’s attorney general to coordinate the hundreds of official investigations across Spain.
Crespo said that the passage of time, incomplete records and the fact that many of those involved are already dead has hampered the investigations.
For some, like the Vega family, the doctor they hold responsible for stealing their child is still alive.
“This bastard has taken our life,” said an emotional Luis Vega.
Vega recently became the president of S.O.S. Bebes Robados Madrid, one of the organizations helping those who think they might be victims.
Vega said that he doesn’t expect he’ll ever truly get justice, but hopes ultimately he’ll find his son.
“I’m convinced,” Vega said. “Otherwise, why [am I] going to fight…I’m fighting for this and everything.”
Editor’s Note: Kate Snow’s full report, “Stolen At Birth,” airs on Rock Center with Brian Williams on Monday, Dec. 19 at 10 p.m./9 c.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Womb Twin Art Exhibition Coming to NYC!
Opening on January 26, 2012, this group art show on the subject of "Diversity" will be on exhibition for one month at Madison Avenue + 50th Street in NYC. One of the artists, womb twin survivor Monica Hudson, will show a body of work entitled, "Lost Twin Souls" made up of 60 9"x9" abstract oil paintings.
"These 'portraits' of lost twin souls channeled through me onto each canvas. I became a conduit through which the unique energy of lost twins who never made it to our world flowed, rebirthing themselves into abstract/ethereal forms - via oil paint, mineral 'spirits' and glitter - which could be recognized and revered, rather than ignored and unseen. Each portrait has its own personality which informed my choices of color, shape, layering, manipulation and completion. Since many lost womb twins go undetected, these paintings almost serve as family portraits belonging to any of us. The simultaneous use of oil paint and paint remover imparts into the work the duality of existing and not existing, much like the life of a wombtwin survivor. The visual articulation of this process was in itself deeply satisfying to me, not to mention the communion of twinship experienced by having these souls around."
Could one of these portraits be your twin?
For a sneak peek of the work, visit www.twindividual.com - "Monica's Art"
To get more details or an invitation to the show, please email: moniglam@gmail.com
Cheers,
Monica
"These 'portraits' of lost twin souls channeled through me onto each canvas. I became a conduit through which the unique energy of lost twins who never made it to our world flowed, rebirthing themselves into abstract/ethereal forms - via oil paint, mineral 'spirits' and glitter - which could be recognized and revered, rather than ignored and unseen. Each portrait has its own personality which informed my choices of color, shape, layering, manipulation and completion. Since many lost womb twins go undetected, these paintings almost serve as family portraits belonging to any of us. The simultaneous use of oil paint and paint remover imparts into the work the duality of existing and not existing, much like the life of a wombtwin survivor. The visual articulation of this process was in itself deeply satisfying to me, not to mention the communion of twinship experienced by having these souls around."
Could one of these portraits be your twin?
For a sneak peek of the work, visit www.twindividual.com - "Monica's Art"
To get more details or an invitation to the show, please email: moniglam@gmail.com
Cheers,
Monica
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Today is International Womb Twin Day!
Today is the official day of recognition for us Womb Twin Survivors around the world.
This year I haven't done a private celebration but instead have been reflecting on all of us survivors who care so deeply about the twin lives that didn't come to fruition here and how they impacted us forever. Despite our pain and struggles, womb twin survivors are special people and now that I have taken the healing journey, I feel so blessed to be one! Even better, to know others who have walked the path has changed my life.
We are remarkable survivors and it truly is special that we have this day of connection and remembrance. I am grateful for being understood and for understanding myself and my hidden story, thanks to Womb Twin.
Hoping all the womb twin survivors of the world, and their lost womb mates, had a meaningful day today. If you'd like to share your story about your celebration, please email to moniglam@gmail.com and it will be posted here.
Blessings,
Monica
This year I haven't done a private celebration but instead have been reflecting on all of us survivors who care so deeply about the twin lives that didn't come to fruition here and how they impacted us forever. Despite our pain and struggles, womb twin survivors are special people and now that I have taken the healing journey, I feel so blessed to be one! Even better, to know others who have walked the path has changed my life.
We are remarkable survivors and it truly is special that we have this day of connection and remembrance. I am grateful for being understood and for understanding myself and my hidden story, thanks to Womb Twin.
Hoping all the womb twin survivors of the world, and their lost womb mates, had a meaningful day today. If you'd like to share your story about your celebration, please email to moniglam@gmail.com and it will be posted here.
Blessings,
Monica
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Report on the Annual Womb Twin Conference 2011
I just attended my first ever Womb Twin Conference in England and can't imagine missing out on such an amazing opportunity to meet almost 30 other womb twins and spend the day immersed in topics of interest. Contrary to our usual mode of fitting into a singleton world, it was a unique experience to be in our own womb twin space where there was instant recognition and everything was custom-tailored.
The entire day was relevant, a rarity for womb twins!
To experience that alone was huge.
The presentations I attended were informative and validating. There were workshops in Art and Drama Therapy and plenty of breaks for connecting and sharing. The pastoral center where the conference was held was gorgeous with lovely landscaping. During the lunchbreak I went outside with Petra from Germany who taught me her new technique called Human Straightness Training. It was developed with horses but she has translated it for human benefit and is now making it available to womb twins. We spent 15 minutes doing it and my shoulder pain (where I was affected by the absorption of my identical twin) was gone for the rest of the day (with continued relief as I do it).
I gave a presentation entitled "Making Our Lost Twins Real and Letting Them Go" using several examples from North American Womb Twins of how to use symbols and rituals for healing. Thanks again to everyone who allowed me to feature a bit of their story.
Best of all was the chance to meet all the womb twins from different parts of the world and feel we are so much the same. I really enjoyed getting to know in-person those who I correspond with on the yahoo chat group and meeting new-to-the-scene womb twins too. It warmed my heart that we even had a non-womb twin among us, she had to live in our world rather than the other way around for a change! And let's not forget the twins who volunteered their time and brought womb twin cupcakes, I give them so much credit for being there. Such blessings!
The following day there was a small intimate workshop lead by Althea Hayton at another venue. There were 10 of us who worked hard processing our womb material all day in a perfect amalgam of Womb Twin Healing, Family Constellation, Gestalt and Psychodrama. Our fearless leader took us to very deep places to shake us into transformation, our fellow womb twins who shared the space made it so safe. I am still integrating it a couple weeks later which is why it's taken so long to write about. Powerful stuff!!
Next year the conference will be at the Friends Meeting House in London, November 17, 2012.
http://www.friendshouse.co.uk/
And check this out - there's a twin/triplet/twinless deal:
If you and 2 others register and pay, you get 50% off your registration fee.
Do yourself a favor - GO!
The entire day was relevant, a rarity for womb twins!
To experience that alone was huge.
The presentations I attended were informative and validating. There were workshops in Art and Drama Therapy and plenty of breaks for connecting and sharing. The pastoral center where the conference was held was gorgeous with lovely landscaping. During the lunchbreak I went outside with Petra from Germany who taught me her new technique called Human Straightness Training. It was developed with horses but she has translated it for human benefit and is now making it available to womb twins. We spent 15 minutes doing it and my shoulder pain (where I was affected by the absorption of my identical twin) was gone for the rest of the day (with continued relief as I do it).
I gave a presentation entitled "Making Our Lost Twins Real and Letting Them Go" using several examples from North American Womb Twins of how to use symbols and rituals for healing. Thanks again to everyone who allowed me to feature a bit of their story.
Best of all was the chance to meet all the womb twins from different parts of the world and feel we are so much the same. I really enjoyed getting to know in-person those who I correspond with on the yahoo chat group and meeting new-to-the-scene womb twins too. It warmed my heart that we even had a non-womb twin among us, she had to live in our world rather than the other way around for a change! And let's not forget the twins who volunteered their time and brought womb twin cupcakes, I give them so much credit for being there. Such blessings!
The following day there was a small intimate workshop lead by Althea Hayton at another venue. There were 10 of us who worked hard processing our womb material all day in a perfect amalgam of Womb Twin Healing, Family Constellation, Gestalt and Psychodrama. Our fearless leader took us to very deep places to shake us into transformation, our fellow womb twins who shared the space made it so safe. I am still integrating it a couple weeks later which is why it's taken so long to write about. Powerful stuff!!
Next year the conference will be at the Friends Meeting House in London, November 17, 2012.
http://www.friendshouse.co.uk/
And check this out - there's a twin/triplet/twinless deal:
If you and 2 others register and pay, you get 50% off your registration fee.
Do yourself a favor - GO!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
'Tis The Season...for Womb Twin Day!
It's December...among the celebrations this time of year, let's remember WOMB TWIN DAY on December 21st.
December 21st is a special day set aside to remember and honour our womb
twins. You can create a special online memorial to your twin, make a
donation to Womb Twin, or even get a group of womb twin survivors together
and carry out a joint ritual of memorial.
The date of December 21st was chosen for Womb Twin day for three reasons:
1) We need one day in the year when we think especially about our womb
twins, and we do so on the same day, to make it more important and
memorable, and so we can give support to each other on that day.
2) December 21st is the winter solstice in the Northern hemisphere. It is
the darkest day of the year, but thereafter the day begin to lengthen
towards the coming summer, so it is a time for new hope in the midst of
darkness.
3) December 21st is the Christian feast day of St Thomas. His special day is now celebrated on July 3rd, but traditionally it
used to be 21st December, so we can reclaim that day for our womb twins.
See more here:
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=525b3eb65d&e=e27d2206b5
Find out more about Womb Twin day
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=3b2b589434&e=e27d2206b5
During this charitable time, do remember to encourage much needed donations to Womb Twin.
With thanks and Twin Wishes for Two Turtle Doves!
December 21st is a special day set aside to remember and honour our womb
twins. You can create a special online memorial to your twin, make a
donation to Womb Twin, or even get a group of womb twin survivors together
and carry out a joint ritual of memorial.
The date of December 21st was chosen for Womb Twin day for three reasons:
1) We need one day in the year when we think especially about our womb
twins, and we do so on the same day, to make it more important and
memorable, and so we can give support to each other on that day.
2) December 21st is the winter solstice in the Northern hemisphere. It is
the darkest day of the year, but thereafter the day begin to lengthen
towards the coming summer, so it is a time for new hope in the midst of
darkness.
3) December 21st is the Christian feast day of St Thomas. His special day is now celebrated on July 3rd, but traditionally it
used to be 21st December, so we can reclaim that day for our womb twins.
See more here:
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=525b3eb65d&e=e27d2206b5
Find out more about Womb Twin day
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=3b2b589434&e=e27d2206b5
During this charitable time, do remember to encourage much needed donations to Womb Twin.
With thanks and Twin Wishes for Two Turtle Doves!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Twin Identity Show on Oprah Winfrey Network tomorrow
Our America with Lisa Ling
Twin Lives
It's something no "singleton" could understand - the mysterious bond between identical twins. From the world's largest meeting of multiples, to sisters separated at birth, we'll explore the age-old question of what shapes our identity: nature or nurture?
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/own/tv-schedule/index.html?date=2011-11-13#ixzz1dYCv72G7
Twin Lives
It's something no "singleton" could understand - the mysterious bond between identical twins. From the world's largest meeting of multiples, to sisters separated at birth, we'll explore the age-old question of what shapes our identity: nature or nurture?
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/own/tv-schedule/index.html?date=2011-11-13#ixzz1dYCv72G7
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Conference Registration still open but not for long!
The Womb Twin Conference, St Albans UK
----------------------------------------------------------------
There are no more residential places available for the conference
on November 19th, but there are still 3 places left for day visitors.
Registration will close on November 3rd.
So if you want to come this year, act now!
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=9897683262&e=e27d2206b5
----------------------------------------------------------------
There are no more residential places available for the conference
on November 19th, but there are still 3 places left for day visitors.
Registration will close on November 3rd.
So if you want to come this year, act now!
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=9897683262&e=e27d2206b5
Friday, October 21, 2011
About Twin Absorption
Very interesting & informative article by a mother who carried a vanishing twin pregnancy. It explains two different ways a twin can be absorbed and disappear.
Vanishing Twin Syndrome
By Deborah Bohn
The rise in early-term ultrasounds has brought the Vanishing Twin Syndrome to light, revealing that a surprising number of twin pregnancies result in the birth of only one baby.
�We won the conception lottery!�
That�s what I wrote in my online journal when I found out that my husband and I were expecting twins. After months of hormone injections, blood tests, ultrasounds, pills, ovulation test kits and egg extraction procedures, plus a heartbreaking miscarriage, we had finally hit the baby jackpot with the help of a fertility specialist and in vitro fertilization. The ultrasound image at my eight-week check-up showed two shrimp-like embryos and two little heartbeats flashing on the screen. My gynecologist gave me the phone number for a twins support group and told me to get ready for a wild ride!
Imagine my shock and horror when the next ultrasound, a mere two weeks later, showed one fat, wriggly embryo and one tiny bean-shaped one with no heartbeat. We were devastated. Grief stricken. How could this have happened? What went wrong? And what was going to happen to the surviving fetus?
The doctor said I was experiencing Vanishing Twin Syndrome, a common occurrence in the early stages of a multiple pregnancy. I might feel some cramping and possibly a tiny bit of bleeding, but the healthy baby would most likely survive and the �little one,� as we called it, would be reabsorbed by my body over time and simply�vanish.
He was right. Although we were emotionally devastated by the loss of our tiny unborn baby, there was no discomfort or bleeding. My 20-week ultrasound revealed a healthy fetus and an empty amniotic sac, but no sign of the little twin. Our daughter was delivered healthy and on time, but we still think about what it would have been like to raise twins. We still sometimes miss the baby that came and went like a little ghost.
Freak of Nature? As strange as it sounds, vanishing twins are pretty common. Before the advent of early ultrasounds, women didn�t realize they were carrying multiple babies until the heartbeats could be heard at 12 weeks or until their regular five-month ultrasound. If two embryos had been conceived and one lost during the first trimester, a mother would never have known it.
Experts currently estimate that one-eighth of pregnancies begin as twins. But of course, the percentage of pregnancies that make it to term is smaller. Fertility specialist Dr. Carolyn Givens of the Pacific Fertility Center estimates that between 15 and 20 percent of all twin pregnancies will miscarry one fetus. �That�s what happens what happens with a vanishing twin,� she says, �You have an early miscarriage of the twin.� Those estimates are supported by a 1986 sonogram study of 1,000 pregnancies. Exactly 21.9% of the women carrying twins in the first trimester experienced a �vanishing twin" event. Due to the increased use of fertility drugs and assisted fertility techniques like in vitro fertilization, there�s been a spike in multiple pregnancies and an accompanying rise in early gestation ultrasounds, so what used to be an almost unheard of phenomenon is rapidly becoming a hot topic among mothers.
What Happens? When our twin disappeared, I found myself wondering if I�d done something wrong to cause the embryo to die. Did I sleep in the wrong side? Inhale someone�s second-hand smoke? Lug my heavy one-year-old daughter around too much? The fact is that most of the time a twin vanishes during the first trimester for the same reason a single baby miscarries: There�s a fatal genetic problem with the embryo and it couldn�t continue developing into a full-fledged fetus. Dr. Givens explains, �This usually happens within the first eight weeks because that�s when the organs form, and if there�s a problem, this is when it will occur. If there�s a chromosomal problem, some important gene doesn�t turn on or do what it�s supposed to do and the heart will stop developing.�
However, older mothers tend to experience vanishing twin losses more frequently. �Spontaneous fraternal twins are more common in older moms because they ovulate more than one egg more often. And older women have a higher rate of miscarriage because of chromosomal abnormalities,� Givens says.
Unlike the miscarriage of a singleton, a woman is less likely to have bleeding with a vanishing twin because the healthy embryo keeps generating hormones to keep the placental lining in place for nourishment and protection. That�s why many women have no idea the second twin even existed. There were no obvious signs that it was ever there and no physical indications of a problem when it died. While there is �minimum physical risk to the mother if it happens in the first trimester,� according to Dr. Givens, there is a small (less than 10%) chance that the healthy baby will be lost at the same time. In that event, both embryos would be washed away in the blood of what appears to be a heavy period, but is actually an early stage miscarriage.
Late-Term Loss Tragically, just like some singleton babies are lost in the second or even third trimesters, the same goes for twins. But the risks to the mother and surviving baby are much greater in the case of a multiple pregnancy. When a single baby stops growing, the body either expels the fetus, resulting in a miscarriage or a stillborn baby, or a doctor removes the tissue for the safety of the mother. But when a twin is lost late in a pregnancy a few different things can happen.
�If you lose a twin after 20 weeks, you are at a much higher risk to lose the other one. There�s so much tissue present that the body wants to expel it and take the live one with it,� Dr Givens explains, �The major risk to losing a twin when the other isn�t ready to be delivered, is the prematurity of the surviving twin.�
On the other hand, if non-living tissue remains in the uterus, the mother is at risk for coagulation problems caused by proteins from the tissue releasing into the mother�s bloodstream. This can cause a condition called Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation that can kill the mother and always results in the death of the remaining baby.
In extremely rare cases, a late-term twin actually vanishes too. Sometimes the water from the dead fetus is reabsorbed into the mother�s body, but the weight of the surviving twin compresses the remaining fetal tissue and forms a fetus papyraceus�a flattened and "mummified" fetus that can block the vaginal opening and require a cesarean delivery. Occasionally the tissue from the perished twin is absorbed by the surviving fetus and forms a tumor, called a teratoma, filled with its missing sibling�s bone, teeth or hair. There have been cases in which part of a twin projects from the body of the surviving twin, sometimes resulting in extra limbs or other duplicated body parts like organs or bones, only discovered later in life by an x-ray or CAT scan.
Stranger than Fiction In extremely rare cases of vanishing twin syndrome, two early stage embryos fuse into a single embryo containing two unique sets of DNA. The surviving twin becomes what�s known as a chimera�essentially two people in one body. Chimeras can have different sets of DNA in different body parts. For instance a male chimera can have one type of DNA in his skin cells but what appears to be an entirely different person�s DNA in his sperm cells.
A 2003 study in the New England Journal of Medicine by Dr Margot Kruskall of the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, Massachusetts, reported the case of a mother who required a kidney transplant. All three of her natural sons were tested as potential donors, but only one appeared to be her biological son, although she gave birth to all of them. Genetic tests revealed that the patient was a chimera�a physical blend of fraternal twin sisters�and her ovaries produced eggs belonging to both twins, thus she could give birth to three sons who were genetic half-brothers; one of them sharing DNA with his mother and two sons sharing DNA with their vanished �aunt.�
According to the November 2003 New Scientist magazine, �Some chimeras do have unusual physical features. For example, one girl was discovered to be a chimera because her eyes were different colors, one brown, the other hazel. Others have come to light when doctors investigated problems with their reproductive systems, and found that they had structures from both male and female reproductive organs as a result of having cells of both sexes in their bodies. But most probably go through life utterly unaware of their unusual constitution.�
The Emotional Toll In my experience�and everyone�s is different�Vanishing Twin Syndrome is like simultaneously hosting a birthday party and a funeral in the same room. You�re thrilled and relieved that you�ve got a healthy baby growing bigger and stronger, while you�re mortified that you�re carrying a dead baby in your belly and heartbroken by the loss of a child you longed for so desperately. As a fertility specialist, Dr. Givens sees a large number of initial multiple pregnancies that ultimately result in a single live birth. She says, �Prospective parents generally have mixed feelings when they lose a twin. In the fertility world, a lot of times people don�t have kids, this is their first pregnancy, and the loss is almost universally a sad thing for them. But it depends on whether they really wanted twins to begin with. Sometimes couples are a little relieved if they already have children and don�t want twins. Either way we tell them that the twin wasn�t healthy, so the loss was actually a positive thing, although it might not feel that way at the time.�
Could You Be a Twin? Could you be the surviving half of a twin pregnancy? Could you have been pregnant with twins and not known it? As reported by Lawrence Wright in The New Yorker, Professor Charles E. Boklage, a developmental biologist at the East Carolina University School of Medicine and a well-known twinning expert says that Vanishing Twin Syndrome �is much too common to be considered phenomenal, and it occurs for too many reasons to be considered any kind of syndrome.� He contends that since most pregnancies fail in the early weeks�often unbeknownst to the mother�the early loss or disappearance of a twin is to be expected. Dr. Boklage estimates that for every set of live twins there are at least six singletons who are survivors of twin conceptions. He says, "Somewhere in the vicinity of ten to fifteen percent of us�and that's a minimum estimate�are walking around thinking we're singletons when in fact we're only the big half!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm adding this content September 11, 2009
I am an absorbed twin. I'm 52 years old as of this writing in 2009 and I did not discover the fact of my birth condition until I was in my forties. While I was growing up I had two sets of most of my baby teeth, and I've had three sets of adult molars; they matured and decayed and replaced themselves. I was also born with ovaries and testes, vagina and penis, have feminine skin and hair, masculine skeletal structure, and a capacity to multi-task between the female and male perspectives. I believed myself to be a girl until I started puberty, then accepted that I was a boy until I was in my mid-thirties, and then re-identified as a woman. By the way, the differences between the female and male perspectives are astoundingly different, and I see life from both when I want to.
I have younger twin sisters. I fathered 4 sets of twins, none of whom went full term. And the two sons we created are healthy and well adjusted, and have families of their own.
My genetic profile is all over the place; so much so that the last testing facility has yet to release my profile to me because they can not figure it out. I've been three times by them. It's the VA, and they are not all that up-to-date when it comes to medicine "outside the box". In fact, when I seek health care as a woman they tell me I cannot have certain things because one doctor things I am male, yet they deny other things I need to support male health because I am a woman. Go figure!
So, here you have an open and sincere account of an abosrbed twin life.
Cheers,
Megan
Vanishing Twin Syndrome
By Deborah Bohn
The rise in early-term ultrasounds has brought the Vanishing Twin Syndrome to light, revealing that a surprising number of twin pregnancies result in the birth of only one baby.
�We won the conception lottery!�
That�s what I wrote in my online journal when I found out that my husband and I were expecting twins. After months of hormone injections, blood tests, ultrasounds, pills, ovulation test kits and egg extraction procedures, plus a heartbreaking miscarriage, we had finally hit the baby jackpot with the help of a fertility specialist and in vitro fertilization. The ultrasound image at my eight-week check-up showed two shrimp-like embryos and two little heartbeats flashing on the screen. My gynecologist gave me the phone number for a twins support group and told me to get ready for a wild ride!
Imagine my shock and horror when the next ultrasound, a mere two weeks later, showed one fat, wriggly embryo and one tiny bean-shaped one with no heartbeat. We were devastated. Grief stricken. How could this have happened? What went wrong? And what was going to happen to the surviving fetus?
The doctor said I was experiencing Vanishing Twin Syndrome, a common occurrence in the early stages of a multiple pregnancy. I might feel some cramping and possibly a tiny bit of bleeding, but the healthy baby would most likely survive and the �little one,� as we called it, would be reabsorbed by my body over time and simply�vanish.
He was right. Although we were emotionally devastated by the loss of our tiny unborn baby, there was no discomfort or bleeding. My 20-week ultrasound revealed a healthy fetus and an empty amniotic sac, but no sign of the little twin. Our daughter was delivered healthy and on time, but we still think about what it would have been like to raise twins. We still sometimes miss the baby that came and went like a little ghost.
Freak of Nature? As strange as it sounds, vanishing twins are pretty common. Before the advent of early ultrasounds, women didn�t realize they were carrying multiple babies until the heartbeats could be heard at 12 weeks or until their regular five-month ultrasound. If two embryos had been conceived and one lost during the first trimester, a mother would never have known it.
Experts currently estimate that one-eighth of pregnancies begin as twins. But of course, the percentage of pregnancies that make it to term is smaller. Fertility specialist Dr. Carolyn Givens of the Pacific Fertility Center estimates that between 15 and 20 percent of all twin pregnancies will miscarry one fetus. �That�s what happens what happens with a vanishing twin,� she says, �You have an early miscarriage of the twin.� Those estimates are supported by a 1986 sonogram study of 1,000 pregnancies. Exactly 21.9% of the women carrying twins in the first trimester experienced a �vanishing twin" event. Due to the increased use of fertility drugs and assisted fertility techniques like in vitro fertilization, there�s been a spike in multiple pregnancies and an accompanying rise in early gestation ultrasounds, so what used to be an almost unheard of phenomenon is rapidly becoming a hot topic among mothers.
What Happens? When our twin disappeared, I found myself wondering if I�d done something wrong to cause the embryo to die. Did I sleep in the wrong side? Inhale someone�s second-hand smoke? Lug my heavy one-year-old daughter around too much? The fact is that most of the time a twin vanishes during the first trimester for the same reason a single baby miscarries: There�s a fatal genetic problem with the embryo and it couldn�t continue developing into a full-fledged fetus. Dr. Givens explains, �This usually happens within the first eight weeks because that�s when the organs form, and if there�s a problem, this is when it will occur. If there�s a chromosomal problem, some important gene doesn�t turn on or do what it�s supposed to do and the heart will stop developing.�
However, older mothers tend to experience vanishing twin losses more frequently. �Spontaneous fraternal twins are more common in older moms because they ovulate more than one egg more often. And older women have a higher rate of miscarriage because of chromosomal abnormalities,� Givens says.
Unlike the miscarriage of a singleton, a woman is less likely to have bleeding with a vanishing twin because the healthy embryo keeps generating hormones to keep the placental lining in place for nourishment and protection. That�s why many women have no idea the second twin even existed. There were no obvious signs that it was ever there and no physical indications of a problem when it died. While there is �minimum physical risk to the mother if it happens in the first trimester,� according to Dr. Givens, there is a small (less than 10%) chance that the healthy baby will be lost at the same time. In that event, both embryos would be washed away in the blood of what appears to be a heavy period, but is actually an early stage miscarriage.
Late-Term Loss Tragically, just like some singleton babies are lost in the second or even third trimesters, the same goes for twins. But the risks to the mother and surviving baby are much greater in the case of a multiple pregnancy. When a single baby stops growing, the body either expels the fetus, resulting in a miscarriage or a stillborn baby, or a doctor removes the tissue for the safety of the mother. But when a twin is lost late in a pregnancy a few different things can happen.
�If you lose a twin after 20 weeks, you are at a much higher risk to lose the other one. There�s so much tissue present that the body wants to expel it and take the live one with it,� Dr Givens explains, �The major risk to losing a twin when the other isn�t ready to be delivered, is the prematurity of the surviving twin.�
On the other hand, if non-living tissue remains in the uterus, the mother is at risk for coagulation problems caused by proteins from the tissue releasing into the mother�s bloodstream. This can cause a condition called Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation that can kill the mother and always results in the death of the remaining baby.
In extremely rare cases, a late-term twin actually vanishes too. Sometimes the water from the dead fetus is reabsorbed into the mother�s body, but the weight of the surviving twin compresses the remaining fetal tissue and forms a fetus papyraceus�a flattened and "mummified" fetus that can block the vaginal opening and require a cesarean delivery. Occasionally the tissue from the perished twin is absorbed by the surviving fetus and forms a tumor, called a teratoma, filled with its missing sibling�s bone, teeth or hair. There have been cases in which part of a twin projects from the body of the surviving twin, sometimes resulting in extra limbs or other duplicated body parts like organs or bones, only discovered later in life by an x-ray or CAT scan.
Stranger than Fiction In extremely rare cases of vanishing twin syndrome, two early stage embryos fuse into a single embryo containing two unique sets of DNA. The surviving twin becomes what�s known as a chimera�essentially two people in one body. Chimeras can have different sets of DNA in different body parts. For instance a male chimera can have one type of DNA in his skin cells but what appears to be an entirely different person�s DNA in his sperm cells.
A 2003 study in the New England Journal of Medicine by Dr Margot Kruskall of the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, Massachusetts, reported the case of a mother who required a kidney transplant. All three of her natural sons were tested as potential donors, but only one appeared to be her biological son, although she gave birth to all of them. Genetic tests revealed that the patient was a chimera�a physical blend of fraternal twin sisters�and her ovaries produced eggs belonging to both twins, thus she could give birth to three sons who were genetic half-brothers; one of them sharing DNA with his mother and two sons sharing DNA with their vanished �aunt.�
According to the November 2003 New Scientist magazine, �Some chimeras do have unusual physical features. For example, one girl was discovered to be a chimera because her eyes were different colors, one brown, the other hazel. Others have come to light when doctors investigated problems with their reproductive systems, and found that they had structures from both male and female reproductive organs as a result of having cells of both sexes in their bodies. But most probably go through life utterly unaware of their unusual constitution.�
The Emotional Toll In my experience�and everyone�s is different�Vanishing Twin Syndrome is like simultaneously hosting a birthday party and a funeral in the same room. You�re thrilled and relieved that you�ve got a healthy baby growing bigger and stronger, while you�re mortified that you�re carrying a dead baby in your belly and heartbroken by the loss of a child you longed for so desperately. As a fertility specialist, Dr. Givens sees a large number of initial multiple pregnancies that ultimately result in a single live birth. She says, �Prospective parents generally have mixed feelings when they lose a twin. In the fertility world, a lot of times people don�t have kids, this is their first pregnancy, and the loss is almost universally a sad thing for them. But it depends on whether they really wanted twins to begin with. Sometimes couples are a little relieved if they already have children and don�t want twins. Either way we tell them that the twin wasn�t healthy, so the loss was actually a positive thing, although it might not feel that way at the time.�
Could You Be a Twin? Could you be the surviving half of a twin pregnancy? Could you have been pregnant with twins and not known it? As reported by Lawrence Wright in The New Yorker, Professor Charles E. Boklage, a developmental biologist at the East Carolina University School of Medicine and a well-known twinning expert says that Vanishing Twin Syndrome �is much too common to be considered phenomenal, and it occurs for too many reasons to be considered any kind of syndrome.� He contends that since most pregnancies fail in the early weeks�often unbeknownst to the mother�the early loss or disappearance of a twin is to be expected. Dr. Boklage estimates that for every set of live twins there are at least six singletons who are survivors of twin conceptions. He says, "Somewhere in the vicinity of ten to fifteen percent of us�and that's a minimum estimate�are walking around thinking we're singletons when in fact we're only the big half!"
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I'm adding this content September 11, 2009
I am an absorbed twin. I'm 52 years old as of this writing in 2009 and I did not discover the fact of my birth condition until I was in my forties. While I was growing up I had two sets of most of my baby teeth, and I've had three sets of adult molars; they matured and decayed and replaced themselves. I was also born with ovaries and testes, vagina and penis, have feminine skin and hair, masculine skeletal structure, and a capacity to multi-task between the female and male perspectives. I believed myself to be a girl until I started puberty, then accepted that I was a boy until I was in my mid-thirties, and then re-identified as a woman. By the way, the differences between the female and male perspectives are astoundingly different, and I see life from both when I want to.
I have younger twin sisters. I fathered 4 sets of twins, none of whom went full term. And the two sons we created are healthy and well adjusted, and have families of their own.
My genetic profile is all over the place; so much so that the last testing facility has yet to release my profile to me because they can not figure it out. I've been three times by them. It's the VA, and they are not all that up-to-date when it comes to medicine "outside the box". In fact, when I seek health care as a woman they tell me I cannot have certain things because one doctor things I am male, yet they deny other things I need to support male health because I am a woman. Go figure!
So, here you have an open and sincere account of an abosrbed twin life.
Cheers,
Megan
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Vanishing Twin on TV: Chimera Drama on CBS
This new medical supernatural drama, A GIFTED MAN, is about a "self absorbed" surgeon (was he a womb twin survivor who absorbed his other half?) and this particular episode features a chimera which they accurately call a twin. The medical profession used to say "it's a cyst with teeth and nail matter" and leave it at that. This is encouraging and I'm happy to see it on mainstream tv.
After the "twin" is surgically removed from this man's brain, the patient is still hearing the screaming of this voice in his head and tells the surgeon "you didn't get him out"...and that is where womb twin healing comes in. We do know how to exorcise twin voices!
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/cb-HM96yhfZgzxB7tICE_vHsi9pvjwBRbEB/a_gifted_man_the_vanishing_twin_season_1_episode_4/
Thank you CBS for saying it like it is!
After the "twin" is surgically removed from this man's brain, the patient is still hearing the screaming of this voice in his head and tells the surgeon "you didn't get him out"...and that is where womb twin healing comes in. We do know how to exorcise twin voices!
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/cb-HM96yhfZgzxB7tICE_vHsi9pvjwBRbEB/a_gifted_man_the_vanishing_twin_season_1_episode_4/
Thank you CBS for saying it like it is!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Womb Twin US goes to the UK!
I just can't contain my excitement so I have to tell you that my presentation at the Annual Womb Twin Conference in the UK next month will be JUICY!
The topic is "Making our Lost Twins Real and Letting Them Go" and I plan to review - and show (yes, visual delights await!) several examples from the womb twins in the U.S.
(thanks to those who gave me permission to use their stories!)
Only a few days left to register so if you haven't yet done so, I urge you to join us for a lifechanging experience. www.wombtwin.com
Another exciting development is the launch of my own personal website for womb twin healing in the U.S. at www.twindividual.com
Please visit to learn more and to see some of my artwork entitled "Lost Twin Souls."
I'm looking forward to meeting others just like me from around the world and with art & drama therapists on the roster it will no doubt be an amazing conference this year. That instant recognition twin-survivor-fix can't come soon enough!
Althea Hayton is doing a small group workshop the following day, which I'm also attending. If you can't do Saturday, come Sunday!
See you in November!!
The topic is "Making our Lost Twins Real and Letting Them Go" and I plan to review - and show (yes, visual delights await!) several examples from the womb twins in the U.S.
(thanks to those who gave me permission to use their stories!)
Only a few days left to register so if you haven't yet done so, I urge you to join us for a lifechanging experience. www.wombtwin.com
Another exciting development is the launch of my own personal website for womb twin healing in the U.S. at www.twindividual.com
Please visit to learn more and to see some of my artwork entitled "Lost Twin Souls."
I'm looking forward to meeting others just like me from around the world and with art & drama therapists on the roster it will no doubt be an amazing conference this year. That instant recognition twin-survivor-fix can't come soon enough!
Althea Hayton is doing a small group workshop the following day, which I'm also attending. If you can't do Saturday, come Sunday!
See you in November!!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
*Last 2 weeks to Register for Womb Twin Conference on Nov 19*
Looking forward to seeing everyone at the conference, be sure to register asap below if you are going.
I'm excited to be one of the presenters this year!
The subject of my talk is "Making Our Lost Twins Real and Letting Them Go" using symbol and ritual, a crucial step in the healing process.
The Womb Twin Conference, November 19th
----------------------------------------------------------------
**There is still time to register for the conference, but please do so by October 17th, which is the last day for bookings.**
Register online today:
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=cc08a7969a&e=e27d2206b5
I'm excited to be one of the presenters this year!
The subject of my talk is "Making Our Lost Twins Real and Letting Them Go" using symbol and ritual, a crucial step in the healing process.
The Womb Twin Conference, November 19th
----------------------------------------------------------------
**There is still time to register for the conference, but please do so by October 17th, which is the last day for bookings.**
Register online today:
http://wombtwin.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8265bdaa07f8ffa6092e863f1&id=cc08a7969a&e=e27d2206b5
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Left Handedness + Vanishing Twins correlated in news article
What a delight to read an article that includes one of our theories!
Finally the world is catching on to what we know...
Here's a news article which theorizes left handedness could be due to vanishing twin syndrome/mirror twinning...
http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/09/26/7885486-new-book-explores-the-mysteries-of-southpaws?gt1=43001
Finally the world is catching on to what we know...
Here's a news article which theorizes left handedness could be due to vanishing twin syndrome/mirror twinning...
http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/09/26/7885486-new-book-explores-the-mysteries-of-southpaws?gt1=43001
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Fetal Pain - When?
In the US there is a trend of some states banning abortions after 20 weeks conception, based on the theory that the fetus can feel pain at this point. A recent NY Times article states "Based on current knowledge, medical organizations generally reject the notion that a fetus can feel pain before 24 weeks."
"The suggestion that a fetus at 20 weeks can feel pain is inconsistent with the biological evidence" says David Grimes (a prominent researcher & professor of ob/gyn) "To suggest that pain can be perceived without a cerebral cortex is also inconsistent with the definition of pain."
The Royal College of Ob/Gyn in Britain said of the brain development of fetuses: "Connections from the periphery to the cortex are not intact before 24 weeks of gestation and, as most neuroscientists believe that the cortex is necessary for pain perception, it can be concluded that the fetus cannot experience pain in any sense prior to this gestation." The report goes on to say the physical recoiling and hormonal responses of younger fetuses to needle touches are reflexive and do not indicate pain awareness.
Abortion opponents are countering this by claiming that a functioning cortex is not necessary for the experience of pain. And I would have to agree based on my experience as a womb twin healer.
I've worked with womb twin survivors who remember and feel pain from the earliest moments of conception, and carried it their whole lifetime into adulthood. The details don't change and are consistent over time. I've gone back to those painful places with them and witnessed a tragedy so consistently painful it cannot be argued with. It may be a bigger psychic pain, an overwhelming all-encompassing, deep imprint on every cell kind of pain that could be similar or different from the lymbic system pain perception we know and refer to in the abortion controversy mentioned above. Regardless of the type of pain, it is truly there and it doesn't go away until it is acknowledged and expressed and then hopefully begins to lift.
What I'm declaring is: People distinctly, and with great detail, feel and recall/describe the pain of their egg splitting, their twin not implanting, their twin's cells being reabsorbed into their cells, their mother not wanting them, their mother's failed abortion attempts, their mother's successful abortion attempt on their twin, etc. And I believe it is pain, not just memory, because it gets triggered and needs release and dissipates with healing - you can't say that about memory. But could it be clairsentience that later became perceived as pain, since it was repressed and dramatic and was hard to identify? Perhaps pain is the catchword we gave it to explain the huge impact of this event.
In any case, I think there are some things that are beyond our current comprehension, probably this very subject among them. But when you see the truth in the eyes of the soul while describing their conception and the moments around it, steeped in pain so deep it can never be forgotten, there leaves no room for doubt. It just has to be accepted. And my feeling is - even if the mind made it all up - it's still a valid vehicle in which to move this energy out and express something so as to move toward healing, so all of it needs to be considered valid, regardless of the label we put on it.
As I always say, the proof is in the healing.
"The suggestion that a fetus at 20 weeks can feel pain is inconsistent with the biological evidence" says David Grimes (a prominent researcher & professor of ob/gyn) "To suggest that pain can be perceived without a cerebral cortex is also inconsistent with the definition of pain."
The Royal College of Ob/Gyn in Britain said of the brain development of fetuses: "Connections from the periphery to the cortex are not intact before 24 weeks of gestation and, as most neuroscientists believe that the cortex is necessary for pain perception, it can be concluded that the fetus cannot experience pain in any sense prior to this gestation." The report goes on to say the physical recoiling and hormonal responses of younger fetuses to needle touches are reflexive and do not indicate pain awareness.
Abortion opponents are countering this by claiming that a functioning cortex is not necessary for the experience of pain. And I would have to agree based on my experience as a womb twin healer.
I've worked with womb twin survivors who remember and feel pain from the earliest moments of conception, and carried it their whole lifetime into adulthood. The details don't change and are consistent over time. I've gone back to those painful places with them and witnessed a tragedy so consistently painful it cannot be argued with. It may be a bigger psychic pain, an overwhelming all-encompassing, deep imprint on every cell kind of pain that could be similar or different from the lymbic system pain perception we know and refer to in the abortion controversy mentioned above. Regardless of the type of pain, it is truly there and it doesn't go away until it is acknowledged and expressed and then hopefully begins to lift.
What I'm declaring is: People distinctly, and with great detail, feel and recall/describe the pain of their egg splitting, their twin not implanting, their twin's cells being reabsorbed into their cells, their mother not wanting them, their mother's failed abortion attempts, their mother's successful abortion attempt on their twin, etc. And I believe it is pain, not just memory, because it gets triggered and needs release and dissipates with healing - you can't say that about memory. But could it be clairsentience that later became perceived as pain, since it was repressed and dramatic and was hard to identify? Perhaps pain is the catchword we gave it to explain the huge impact of this event.
In any case, I think there are some things that are beyond our current comprehension, probably this very subject among them. But when you see the truth in the eyes of the soul while describing their conception and the moments around it, steeped in pain so deep it can never be forgotten, there leaves no room for doubt. It just has to be accepted. And my feeling is - even if the mind made it all up - it's still a valid vehicle in which to move this energy out and express something so as to move toward healing, so all of it needs to be considered valid, regardless of the label we put on it.
As I always say, the proof is in the healing.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
A Womb Twin Survivor 9/11
My inner 9/11 is a loss which looms just as large and digs just as deep to me as the outer 9/11...yet there is no coverage of the lone witness, made more so by society. Odd stares of judgement were my only funeral for decades. Such devastating alienation added to the aloneness incomprehensible to a twin and entirely inconceivable to a singleton, whose death rituals and symbols need no explanation among the rows of shoulders to cry on for lesser losses.
As the world mourns 10 years since 9/11/01 with all its remembrance pageantry and public acknowledgement of sorrow, it is painfully clear to me that memorials are only for certain deaths.
The lone tower standing without its twin, ready to fall down and die at any moment, is me.
The tower jumpers mirror the death of a twin who couldn’t implant and fell away to an unknown abyss, to its surviving twins' horror.
The sickening vagueness in the lack of evidence and desperate need for closure by 9/11 survivors is the birthright for womb twin survivors who can’t even remember any different.
Although the tragedy of 9/11 feels equal to my inner loss, the difference is that my Ground Zero is Ground One – Individuality. Instead of a grim void littered with smoldering wreckage, my aftermath is a lifetime of being without my twin/triplet/quadruplet.
Here at Ground One there are no ambulances or camera crews, just a lonely incubator and the pressure to function in a world that didn’t welcome my cherished others. Here at Ground One, any kind of non-self-made ceremony would’ve helped yet nothing would’ve ever been enough.
The aching indelibility of this inner tragedy makes me a walker between worlds, never able to be a twin or a singleton, forever trapped falling from my twin tower with no place to land, among the oblivious who could be witnesses.
Imagine a world where 9/11 happened and nobody paid attention or cared. It just happened and then it was no longer happening and nobody was affected but you. And every Sept 11 you had to put on your birthday hat and smile to fool the world you weren’t dead inside, unable to articulate because there was nobody to hear. You had to be the keeper of this memory inside and if you ever said a peep, others would look at you strangely and think you should be over it by now while judging you for being affected in the first place. Now imagine those same people invite you to their dog’s funeral so you can witness a tree-planting in a dog’s memory and you must comfort their loss and not mention 9/11. This is the life of a womb twin survivor and we thought it was normal because we knew no different.
My 10 second fall lasted 44 years until I’d had enough of the ghostly invisibility of silence. Now I won’t shut up. Coming out of the closet, finding wombtwin.com and connecting with other survivors has been my anti-terrorist task force.
Recognize my glory, I am a newly constructed tower that gleams and cannot be ignored, standing taller and taller all on my own.
* * * * *
The tragedy of 9/11 resulted in 2,976 deaths – 40 of which were twins who perished and left their twins twinless.
By comparison, the tragedy of womb twin loss affects 600,000 people - most of whom don’t even know but are walking around with an inner 9/11.
As the world mourns 10 years since 9/11/01 with all its remembrance pageantry and public acknowledgement of sorrow, it is painfully clear to me that memorials are only for certain deaths.
The lone tower standing without its twin, ready to fall down and die at any moment, is me.
The tower jumpers mirror the death of a twin who couldn’t implant and fell away to an unknown abyss, to its surviving twins' horror.
The sickening vagueness in the lack of evidence and desperate need for closure by 9/11 survivors is the birthright for womb twin survivors who can’t even remember any different.
Although the tragedy of 9/11 feels equal to my inner loss, the difference is that my Ground Zero is Ground One – Individuality. Instead of a grim void littered with smoldering wreckage, my aftermath is a lifetime of being without my twin/triplet/quadruplet.
Here at Ground One there are no ambulances or camera crews, just a lonely incubator and the pressure to function in a world that didn’t welcome my cherished others. Here at Ground One, any kind of non-self-made ceremony would’ve helped yet nothing would’ve ever been enough.
The aching indelibility of this inner tragedy makes me a walker between worlds, never able to be a twin or a singleton, forever trapped falling from my twin tower with no place to land, among the oblivious who could be witnesses.
Imagine a world where 9/11 happened and nobody paid attention or cared. It just happened and then it was no longer happening and nobody was affected but you. And every Sept 11 you had to put on your birthday hat and smile to fool the world you weren’t dead inside, unable to articulate because there was nobody to hear. You had to be the keeper of this memory inside and if you ever said a peep, others would look at you strangely and think you should be over it by now while judging you for being affected in the first place. Now imagine those same people invite you to their dog’s funeral so you can witness a tree-planting in a dog’s memory and you must comfort their loss and not mention 9/11. This is the life of a womb twin survivor and we thought it was normal because we knew no different.
My 10 second fall lasted 44 years until I’d had enough of the ghostly invisibility of silence. Now I won’t shut up. Coming out of the closet, finding wombtwin.com and connecting with other survivors has been my anti-terrorist task force.
Recognize my glory, I am a newly constructed tower that gleams and cannot be ignored, standing taller and taller all on my own.
* * * * *
The tragedy of 9/11 resulted in 2,976 deaths – 40 of which were twins who perished and left their twins twinless.
By comparison, the tragedy of womb twin loss affects 600,000 people - most of whom don’t even know but are walking around with an inner 9/11.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
"Twins of the Twin Towers" Special on Oprah Winfrey Network
Some womb twin survivors are also twinless twins - regardless of when your twin was lost, this special show will be of interest:
TWINS OF THE TWIN TOWERS
The untold stories of twins who were left twinless on September 11, 2001 when the Twin Towers collapsed.
Tune in to OPRAH WINFREY NETWORK
9pm EST on September 11
I had the pleasure of meeting Gregory Hoffman, one of the leaders of the twin towers twinless, not too long after 9/11. His adult twin was lost because he worked in one of the towers and they actually spoke by phone just before the second tower was hit and then contact was lost. There were approximately 40 twinless made so by the fallen towers.
In remembrance, with love and respect, of the special twins who perished in the twin towers. Wishing their surviving twins much strength and peace as they remember their separation 10 years ago.
TWINS OF THE TWIN TOWERS
The untold stories of twins who were left twinless on September 11, 2001 when the Twin Towers collapsed.
Tune in to OPRAH WINFREY NETWORK
9pm EST on September 11
I had the pleasure of meeting Gregory Hoffman, one of the leaders of the twin towers twinless, not too long after 9/11. His adult twin was lost because he worked in one of the towers and they actually spoke by phone just before the second tower was hit and then contact was lost. There were approximately 40 twinless made so by the fallen towers.
In remembrance, with love and respect, of the special twins who perished in the twin towers. Wishing their surviving twins much strength and peace as they remember their separation 10 years ago.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Multiple Womb Twin's visit Greenwood Cemetery
A gathering of womb twin survivors toured Brooklyn's Greenwood Cemetery recently, home to many famous graves belonging notables such as Jean-Michel Basquiat, Louis Comfort Tiffany, even the Wizard from Oz. The scenic landscape includes a giant nest of parrots at the entrance gate. They escaped a shipping crate at the airport in the 1960's and have thrived here ever since despite the climate - survivors!
Interestingly, the four people on this tour were once a total of fifteen people!
3 were originally quadruplets (two: 2 females/2 males; one: 2 females/2 females) and 1 was a triplet (2 males/1 female). Two of us had born twins thus aren't just womb twin survivors but also twinless twins: one female died just after birth and the other male at 3 months.
On this occasion, not only were the unseen in marked graves, there were also unseen in unmarked graves held in the souls of us surviving twins. What a meaningful day it was for us to be together and instantly feel understood and in the company of other multiples who've walked the singleton path.
Of the 1 in 10 people who are womb twin survivors, there is an even smaller percentage of natural (pre fertility treatment) multiple survivors so it was significant that the four of were able to be together. We felt a distinction in how our multipleness differs from womb twin loss. Similar but a whole lot more. Not only were there more losses but there were multiple dynamics set up between the losses. So nice to share with others who get it.
May we all rest in peace, not only our womb twins/triplets/quads, but also those of us living and carrying the memory of our departed ones who never made it here.
In loving memory of Lawrence, Leslie Glen, Lilly, Jennifer, Jude, Momo, Finn, Molly, Sarah, Patrick, and Samuel.
Interestingly, the four people on this tour were once a total of fifteen people!
3 were originally quadruplets (two: 2 females/2 males; one: 2 females/2 females) and 1 was a triplet (2 males/1 female). Two of us had born twins thus aren't just womb twin survivors but also twinless twins: one female died just after birth and the other male at 3 months.
On this occasion, not only were the unseen in marked graves, there were also unseen in unmarked graves held in the souls of us surviving twins. What a meaningful day it was for us to be together and instantly feel understood and in the company of other multiples who've walked the singleton path.
Of the 1 in 10 people who are womb twin survivors, there is an even smaller percentage of natural (pre fertility treatment) multiple survivors so it was significant that the four of were able to be together. We felt a distinction in how our multipleness differs from womb twin loss. Similar but a whole lot more. Not only were there more losses but there were multiple dynamics set up between the losses. So nice to share with others who get it.
May we all rest in peace, not only our womb twins/triplets/quads, but also those of us living and carrying the memory of our departed ones who never made it here.
In loving memory of Lawrence, Leslie Glen, Lilly, Jennifer, Jude, Momo, Finn, Molly, Sarah, Patrick, and Samuel.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
NY Times Article on In Vitro/Selective Reduction = Twin Loss
Here is the kind of disturbing story we hear everyday about womb twin survivors in the making due to lack of awareness about the effects of these parental choices. A good lesson in DON'T DO IT JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN AND JUST BECAUSE TECHNOLOGY WILL ALLOW IT! For the most part, it is pure selfishness for these women to seek motherhood at any cost in my opinion. Disturbing that noone is considering the negative effects on the surviving offspring, while fooling themselves that this is actually in their best interests (how convenient).
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/14/magazine/the-two-minus-one-pregnancy.html?_r=3&pagewanted=7&smid=fb-nytimes
Not only will these womb twin survivors remember the traumas experienced from the womb including the controlled yet random murder of their twin, these embryos may already be grieving the others that weren't implanted in addition to those "selectively reduced"! They may even carry the pain of being conceived in a petri dish on a cold table under tremendous pressure to come to being rather than coming into a warm organic host environment.
At what point, and how many thousands of dollars and damaged lives later, does it take to arrive at the conclusion "There’s a point where you just have to let nature take its course.” as this woman says? "We all think we can conquer the world, but then reality hits you, and you realize you have limitations"
The limitations were always there!
See them for what they are and stop playing "god" people!!
It's very difficult reading these careless stories but best for now to know the stories behind the womb twin survivors we may meet and heal someday in the future. We know their pain and we're here for them.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/14/magazine/the-two-minus-one-pregnancy.html?_r=3&pagewanted=7&smid=fb-nytimes
Not only will these womb twin survivors remember the traumas experienced from the womb including the controlled yet random murder of their twin, these embryos may already be grieving the others that weren't implanted in addition to those "selectively reduced"! They may even carry the pain of being conceived in a petri dish on a cold table under tremendous pressure to come to being rather than coming into a warm organic host environment.
At what point, and how many thousands of dollars and damaged lives later, does it take to arrive at the conclusion "There’s a point where you just have to let nature take its course.” as this woman says? "We all think we can conquer the world, but then reality hits you, and you realize you have limitations"
The limitations were always there!
See them for what they are and stop playing "god" people!!
It's very difficult reading these careless stories but best for now to know the stories behind the womb twin survivors we may meet and heal someday in the future. We know their pain and we're here for them.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
On Twin Replacements & Unconditionalism to the Extreme...Meet Dave Cat
So often womb twin survivors find twin replacements in other things or relationships in born life. Due to our womb loss(es), we crave the unconditional love we once shared with our twin, and sometimes go to great lengths to feel it again.
Here's a possible wombtwin named Dave Cat who seems to have found a way to satisfy this need for unconditional presence to the exreme in his love relationship with a realistic doll or synthetic spouse.
(view article on this link)
http://www.asylum.com/2010/10/28/real-love-doll-sidore-gets-reincarnated/
He seems to be expressing/living/quenching aspects of his in-utero bond through Sidore (his twin replacement) such as non-verbal communication, one brain/two bodies, sibling play time and the dreaded part when the twin transitions from beginning life to no longer being viable.
I would guess that his most traumatic womb memory is when his twin ceased and no longer responded. He may be stuck in that moment with Sidore...regressing and compensating...but this time he has complete control over the situation. He seems to delight in the fact she has no pulse and how gratifying that he was able to "save" her when she needed repair. This may be the happiest he can arrive at without knowing the underlying story.
My concern for him, though, like womb twins who take this path - is that he will alienate himself from others at the expense of himself to keep this dream of the womb alive. Because he hasn't brought it to awareness, the complex may take over his life so that he too becomes obliterated and sabotaged exactly like his twin, out of survivor guilt.
I wish he and Sidore well and would certainly welcome his phone call if he should ever want to explore this further!
Monica
www.twindividual.com
Here's a possible wombtwin named Dave Cat who seems to have found a way to satisfy this need for unconditional presence to the exreme in his love relationship with a realistic doll or synthetic spouse.
(view article on this link)
http://www.asylum.com/2010/10/28/real-love-doll-sidore-gets-reincarnated/
He seems to be expressing/living/quenching aspects of his in-utero bond through Sidore (his twin replacement) such as non-verbal communication, one brain/two bodies, sibling play time and the dreaded part when the twin transitions from beginning life to no longer being viable.
I would guess that his most traumatic womb memory is when his twin ceased and no longer responded. He may be stuck in that moment with Sidore...regressing and compensating...but this time he has complete control over the situation. He seems to delight in the fact she has no pulse and how gratifying that he was able to "save" her when she needed repair. This may be the happiest he can arrive at without knowing the underlying story.
My concern for him, though, like womb twins who take this path - is that he will alienate himself from others at the expense of himself to keep this dream of the womb alive. Because he hasn't brought it to awareness, the complex may take over his life so that he too becomes obliterated and sabotaged exactly like his twin, out of survivor guilt.
I wish he and Sidore well and would certainly welcome his phone call if he should ever want to explore this further!
Monica
www.twindividual.com
Sunday, July 31, 2011
The ultimate womb twin band: BETA PLUS EMBRYO
I recently came across this band called Beta Plus Embryo!
Their lyrics are quite fitting to the womb twin cause...check it out:
(instead of cranking it up, you may want to lower your volume before clicking)
http://www.betaplusembryo.com/
New York's Beta Plus Embryo coalesces heaving grooves with hypnotic soundscapes to create an experience that delves deep into the darkness of human existence while searching for universal truths. Drawing musical influence from such diverse acts as Cocteau Twins, Skinny Puppy, Joy Division, and The Melvins, Beta Plus Embryo has creatively developed a distinct and versatile sound, complex with emotion that appeals to a wide range of psyches and tastes.
Maybe they are multiples...
Enjoy!
Their lyrics are quite fitting to the womb twin cause...check it out:
(instead of cranking it up, you may want to lower your volume before clicking)
http://www.betaplusembryo.com/
New York's Beta Plus Embryo coalesces heaving grooves with hypnotic soundscapes to create an experience that delves deep into the darkness of human existence while searching for universal truths. Drawing musical influence from such diverse acts as Cocteau Twins, Skinny Puppy, Joy Division, and The Melvins, Beta Plus Embryo has creatively developed a distinct and versatile sound, complex with emotion that appeals to a wide range of psyches and tastes.
Maybe they are multiples...
Enjoy!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Evidence of Twin Absorption
When a twin absorbs its twin very early, the lost twin can be evident in the form of physical anomaly's in the surviving twin, such as this: the Guinness Book of World Records winner for most fingers and toes!
This boy in India (a hotbed of fertility treatments, which can cause twinning to go right or wrong) was born with 10 toes on each foot and 7 fingers on each hand.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/22/most-fingers-and-toes-baby_n_907384.html#s307565&title=Foot_Carpenter_Sintayehu
Wonder if this boy felt his twin being separated as his extra digits were removed...
Monica
This boy in India (a hotbed of fertility treatments, which can cause twinning to go right or wrong) was born with 10 toes on each foot and 7 fingers on each hand.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/22/most-fingers-and-toes-baby_n_907384.html#s307565&title=Foot_Carpenter_Sintayehu
Wonder if this boy felt his twin being separated as his extra digits were removed...
Monica
Friday, July 8, 2011
Vanishing Twin Syndrome increases chance of Birth Defects in Co-Twins
Here is proof that not only did we survive emotional and spiritual effects from being a lone twin, but also endured or avoided physical effects as well:
http://topnews.us/content/241652-vanishing-twin-syndrome-increases-co-twins-chances-birth-defects
http://topnews.us/content/241652-vanishing-twin-syndrome-increases-co-twins-chances-birth-defects
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Social before Birth: Twins Interact Purposefully with Each Other as Fetuses
Although this is no surprise to womb twins, it's reassuring that the rest of the world is catching up to what we know to be true about our in-utero bonds. Check out this research finding:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=social-before-birth
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=social-before-birth
Thursday, June 30, 2011
"TWINTUITION" show broadcasted, if you missed it here's a recap
Primetime Nightline: Beyond Belief Episode: "Twintuition"
Season 1, Episode 1
Episode Synopsis: A five-part series from the producers of "Nightline" on spirituality and ESP opens by exploring possible extrasensory links between identical twins that are said to enable them to share emotions and physical sensations when they're not together. Juju Chang reports. Original Air Date: Jun 29, 2011
_____________________________________________________
The show opens with Nancy Segal conducting a twin communication study where the twins stated it was less about sending/receiving messages and more about tuning in to how the other thinks.
They showed twins who were separated at birth yet experienced similar illnessses synchronistically. They said there exists a mystical bond that can't be explained by science.
I AGREE!
Next they featured twin tennis stars Bob & Mike Bryan, showing footage of them on the court where they made the exact same movements at the same time like one mind was controlling both bodies. They said it is better if they don't talk and let it be intuitive. They also said it was more about familiarity than about telepathy, much like an old married couple becomes familiar with the other. After a period of separation, the twins began training together to "ramp up the twin thing" and get familiar again to help with the magic on the court.
I DISAGREE! THESE GUYS HAD MORE THAN FAMILIARITY BUT PERHAPS THEY ARE TOO "FAMILIAR" WITH IT TO SEE IT!
The narrator stated Twins are either hyper competitive or hyper cooperative.
The show continued with Terry and Linda Jamison, twin psychic's who model/perform and consider themselves one organism sharing one soul. They coined the term "twintuition" and channel messages from beyond via automatic writing which is how they predicted 9/11 etc. When asked with skepticism how they could be so accurate with stocks etc. and not use if for their own profit, they replied "The gift is for other people." These twins were often very sickly earlier in their lives because they took on other people's pain.
THIS INDICATES TWIN PSYCHICNESS ISN'T ABOUT FAMILIARITY, IT IS ABOUT BOUNDARIES (LACK OF) AND TELEPATHY.
The show closes with a study on 4 sets of twins conducted by Guy Lyon Playfair, author of Twin Telepathy, whereby twins were separated and hooked up to monitors to measure responses to startling activities like a balloon popping. Interestingly, the twins who showed the most similar responses, were the only twin set who chose to separate early in their lives and live independently!
THIS FINDING DEMONSTRATES MORE OF A GENETIC IDENTICALNESS THAN REASONS OF FAMILIARITY.
MY PERSONAL OPINION AS SOMEONE WHO ONCE ADOPTED A TWIN AND BECAME "TWIN PSYCHIC" LONG DISTANCE, AND WHO IS QUITE PSYCHIC ON A REGULAR BASIS, IS THAT THESE ABILITIES ARE TELEPATHICALLY SOURCED FROM TWIN WIRING PICKING UP ENERGY (WHICH FITS MORE INTO THE "SENDING/RECEIVING MESSAGES" CAMP) HOWEVER IT DOES INTENSIFY WITH FAMILIARITY.
CERTAINLY WOMB TWINS WHO LOST TWINS SO EARLY THERE WASN'T TIME FOR MUCH FAMILIARITY CONTINUE TO BE TWIN PSYCHIC.
Season 1, Episode 1
Episode Synopsis: A five-part series from the producers of "Nightline" on spirituality and ESP opens by exploring possible extrasensory links between identical twins that are said to enable them to share emotions and physical sensations when they're not together. Juju Chang reports. Original Air Date: Jun 29, 2011
_____________________________________________________
The show opens with Nancy Segal conducting a twin communication study where the twins stated it was less about sending/receiving messages and more about tuning in to how the other thinks.
They showed twins who were separated at birth yet experienced similar illnessses synchronistically. They said there exists a mystical bond that can't be explained by science.
I AGREE!
Next they featured twin tennis stars Bob & Mike Bryan, showing footage of them on the court where they made the exact same movements at the same time like one mind was controlling both bodies. They said it is better if they don't talk and let it be intuitive. They also said it was more about familiarity than about telepathy, much like an old married couple becomes familiar with the other. After a period of separation, the twins began training together to "ramp up the twin thing" and get familiar again to help with the magic on the court.
I DISAGREE! THESE GUYS HAD MORE THAN FAMILIARITY BUT PERHAPS THEY ARE TOO "FAMILIAR" WITH IT TO SEE IT!
The narrator stated Twins are either hyper competitive or hyper cooperative.
The show continued with Terry and Linda Jamison, twin psychic's who model/perform and consider themselves one organism sharing one soul. They coined the term "twintuition" and channel messages from beyond via automatic writing which is how they predicted 9/11 etc. When asked with skepticism how they could be so accurate with stocks etc. and not use if for their own profit, they replied "The gift is for other people." These twins were often very sickly earlier in their lives because they took on other people's pain.
THIS INDICATES TWIN PSYCHICNESS ISN'T ABOUT FAMILIARITY, IT IS ABOUT BOUNDARIES (LACK OF) AND TELEPATHY.
The show closes with a study on 4 sets of twins conducted by Guy Lyon Playfair, author of Twin Telepathy, whereby twins were separated and hooked up to monitors to measure responses to startling activities like a balloon popping. Interestingly, the twins who showed the most similar responses, were the only twin set who chose to separate early in their lives and live independently!
THIS FINDING DEMONSTRATES MORE OF A GENETIC IDENTICALNESS THAN REASONS OF FAMILIARITY.
MY PERSONAL OPINION AS SOMEONE WHO ONCE ADOPTED A TWIN AND BECAME "TWIN PSYCHIC" LONG DISTANCE, AND WHO IS QUITE PSYCHIC ON A REGULAR BASIS, IS THAT THESE ABILITIES ARE TELEPATHICALLY SOURCED FROM TWIN WIRING PICKING UP ENERGY (WHICH FITS MORE INTO THE "SENDING/RECEIVING MESSAGES" CAMP) HOWEVER IT DOES INTENSIFY WITH FAMILIARITY.
CERTAINLY WOMB TWINS WHO LOST TWINS SO EARLY THERE WASN'T TIME FOR MUCH FAMILIARITY CONTINUE TO BE TWIN PSYCHIC.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Womb Twins to Connect this Fall 2011
!!!We Need to Connect!!!
There are so many womb twins in the US suddenly, East Coast in particular. I'm hearing mostly of multiples - those who thought they were a twin only to discover there were more.
It's gratifying that so many are coming forward and finding a place to go with this syndrome. So on that note, it's time to plan a gathering in NYC of womb twins who would like to connect with other womb twins.
The day can be planned around the needs of the group, so please feel free to provide feedback based on the information below - you may do so by "commenting" on the blog or emailing me privately at moniglam@gmail.com.
1) What kind of meeting would you prefer:
a) a structured full day - seminar style with some exercises built-in
b) an informal gathering where womb twins can share and socialize
c) participation in exercises/rituals with intensive personal processing
2) What day is best for you to travel to NYC and share sacred space with other womb twins? Let us know so that we may schedule according to the groups respective availability.
Although it is a Friday, we may want to consider November 11 for its powerful symbolism as 11/11/11..per below from numerologist Alison Baughman:
The 11's message is always associated with humanity; to awaken, to uplift, to inspire, to enlighten.
This year on 11/11/11, be aware that it is a high vibrational day and your connection to the spiritual realm is heightened. It certainly is within the realm of possibility to have insightful, if not prophetic dreams and even a strong spiritual experience. You may find clarity about something that eluded you previously.
Meditate and connect to the Divine, however you define your Higher Power, and be open to receive your own personal message of the day. Be sure to also look at the news events of the day for special meaning.
So let me hear from YOU about what type of connection would serve you best.
There is great comfort in community...you don't have to suffer alone.
Just ask another womb twin, they'll get it.
Their perspective could give you the answer to a question you could never ask.
And you can do the same simply by sharing your reality.
There are lots of you out there, speak up and tell me what you need! And When!!
Yours,
Monica
There are so many womb twins in the US suddenly, East Coast in particular. I'm hearing mostly of multiples - those who thought they were a twin only to discover there were more.
It's gratifying that so many are coming forward and finding a place to go with this syndrome. So on that note, it's time to plan a gathering in NYC of womb twins who would like to connect with other womb twins.
The day can be planned around the needs of the group, so please feel free to provide feedback based on the information below - you may do so by "commenting" on the blog or emailing me privately at moniglam@gmail.com.
1) What kind of meeting would you prefer:
a) a structured full day - seminar style with some exercises built-in
b) an informal gathering where womb twins can share and socialize
c) participation in exercises/rituals with intensive personal processing
2) What day is best for you to travel to NYC and share sacred space with other womb twins? Let us know so that we may schedule according to the groups respective availability.
Although it is a Friday, we may want to consider November 11 for its powerful symbolism as 11/11/11..per below from numerologist Alison Baughman:
The 11's message is always associated with humanity; to awaken, to uplift, to inspire, to enlighten.
This year on 11/11/11, be aware that it is a high vibrational day and your connection to the spiritual realm is heightened. It certainly is within the realm of possibility to have insightful, if not prophetic dreams and even a strong spiritual experience. You may find clarity about something that eluded you previously.
Meditate and connect to the Divine, however you define your Higher Power, and be open to receive your own personal message of the day. Be sure to also look at the news events of the day for special meaning.
So let me hear from YOU about what type of connection would serve you best.
There is great comfort in community...you don't have to suffer alone.
Just ask another womb twin, they'll get it.
Their perspective could give you the answer to a question you could never ask.
And you can do the same simply by sharing your reality.
There are lots of you out there, speak up and tell me what you need! And When!!
Yours,
Monica
Thursday, June 16, 2011
IMPORTANT NEWS: DSM may include new category in 2013 - Complicated Grief Disorder
Call to Action - What can womb twin survivors do to help make this diagnostic code a reality - this validation would open the doors for our cause and its treatment:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=shades-of-grief
Home » Scientific American Magazine » June 2011
The Science of Health | Mind & Brain
See Inside Shades of Grief: When Does Mourning Become a Mental Illness?
The new edition of a psychiatric manual called DSM-5 tackles what to do when mourning becomes complicated or leads to depression
By Virginia Hughes | June 7, 2011 | 3
Share Email Print 1 2 3 Next >
MORTAL TOLL: For most people, extreme grief subsides with time. For some, however, it may continue unabated or lead to depression.
Image: Michael Blann Getty Images
Sooner or later most of us suffer deep grief over the death of someone we love. The experience often causes people to question their sanity—as when they momentarily think they have caught sight of their loved one on a crowded street. Many mourners ponder, even if only abstractedly, their reason for living. But when are these disturbing thoughts and emotions normal—that is to say, they become less consuming and intense with the passage of time—and when do they cross the line to pathology, requiring ongoing treatment with powerful antidepressants or psychotherapy, or both?
Two proposed changes in the “bible” of psychiatric disorders—the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)—aim to answer that question when the book’s fifth edition comes out in 2013. One change expected to appear in the DSM-5 reflects a growing consensus in the mental health field; the other has provoked great controversy.
In the less controversial change, the manual would add a new category: Complicated Grief Disorder, also known as traumatic or prolonged grief. The new diagnosis refers to a situation in which many of grief’s common symptoms—such as powerful pining for the deceased, great difficulty moving on, a sense that life is meaningless, and bitterness or anger about the loss—last longer than six months. The controversial change focuses on the other end of the time spectrum: it allows medical treatment for depression in the first few weeks after a death. Currently the DSM specifically bars a bereaved person from being diagnosed with full-blown depression until at least two months have elapsed from the start of mourning.
Those changes matter to patients and mental health professionals because the manual’s definitions of mental illness determine how people are treated and, in many cases, whether the therapy is paid for by insurance. The logic behind the proposed revisions, therefore, merits a further look.
Abnormal Grief
The concept of pathological mourning has been around since Sigmund Freud, but it began receiving formal attention more recently. In several studies of widows with severe, long-lasting grief in the 1980s and 1990s, researchers noticed that antidepressant medications relieved such depressive feelings as sadness and worthlessness but did nothing for other aspects of grief, such as pining and intrusive thoughts about the deceased. The finding suggested that complicated grief and depression arise from different circuits in the brain, but the work was not far enough along to make it into the current, fourth edition of the DSM, published in 1994. In the 886-page book, bereavement is relegated to just one paragraph and is described as a symptom that “may be a focus of clinical attention.” Complicated grief is not mentioned.
Over the next few years other studies revealed that persistent, consuming grief may, in and of itself, increase the risk of other illnesses, such as heart problems, high blood pressure and cancer. Holly G. Prigerson, one of the pioneers of grief research, organized a meeting of loss experts in Pittsburgh in 1997 to hash out preliminary criteria for what she and her colleagues saw as an emerging condition, which they termed traumatic grief. Their view of its defining features: an intense daily yearning and preoccupation with the deceased. In essence, it is the inability to adjust to life without that person, notes Mardi J. Horowitz, professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, and another early researcher of the condition. Prigerson, then an assistant professor at the Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic in Pittsburgh, hoped the meeting would begin the process of finding enough evidence to support changing the DSM. “We knew that grief predicted a lot of bad outcomes—over and above depression and anxiety—and thought it was worthy of clinical attention in its own right,” says Prigerson, now a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.
Monica
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=shades-of-grief
Home » Scientific American Magazine » June 2011
The Science of Health | Mind & Brain
See Inside Shades of Grief: When Does Mourning Become a Mental Illness?
The new edition of a psychiatric manual called DSM-5 tackles what to do when mourning becomes complicated or leads to depression
By Virginia Hughes | June 7, 2011 | 3
Share Email Print 1 2 3 Next >
MORTAL TOLL: For most people, extreme grief subsides with time. For some, however, it may continue unabated or lead to depression.
Image: Michael Blann Getty Images
Sooner or later most of us suffer deep grief over the death of someone we love. The experience often causes people to question their sanity—as when they momentarily think they have caught sight of their loved one on a crowded street. Many mourners ponder, even if only abstractedly, their reason for living. But when are these disturbing thoughts and emotions normal—that is to say, they become less consuming and intense with the passage of time—and when do they cross the line to pathology, requiring ongoing treatment with powerful antidepressants or psychotherapy, or both?
Two proposed changes in the “bible” of psychiatric disorders—the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)—aim to answer that question when the book’s fifth edition comes out in 2013. One change expected to appear in the DSM-5 reflects a growing consensus in the mental health field; the other has provoked great controversy.
In the less controversial change, the manual would add a new category: Complicated Grief Disorder, also known as traumatic or prolonged grief. The new diagnosis refers to a situation in which many of grief’s common symptoms—such as powerful pining for the deceased, great difficulty moving on, a sense that life is meaningless, and bitterness or anger about the loss—last longer than six months. The controversial change focuses on the other end of the time spectrum: it allows medical treatment for depression in the first few weeks after a death. Currently the DSM specifically bars a bereaved person from being diagnosed with full-blown depression until at least two months have elapsed from the start of mourning.
Those changes matter to patients and mental health professionals because the manual’s definitions of mental illness determine how people are treated and, in many cases, whether the therapy is paid for by insurance. The logic behind the proposed revisions, therefore, merits a further look.
Abnormal Grief
The concept of pathological mourning has been around since Sigmund Freud, but it began receiving formal attention more recently. In several studies of widows with severe, long-lasting grief in the 1980s and 1990s, researchers noticed that antidepressant medications relieved such depressive feelings as sadness and worthlessness but did nothing for other aspects of grief, such as pining and intrusive thoughts about the deceased. The finding suggested that complicated grief and depression arise from different circuits in the brain, but the work was not far enough along to make it into the current, fourth edition of the DSM, published in 1994. In the 886-page book, bereavement is relegated to just one paragraph and is described as a symptom that “may be a focus of clinical attention.” Complicated grief is not mentioned.
Over the next few years other studies revealed that persistent, consuming grief may, in and of itself, increase the risk of other illnesses, such as heart problems, high blood pressure and cancer. Holly G. Prigerson, one of the pioneers of grief research, organized a meeting of loss experts in Pittsburgh in 1997 to hash out preliminary criteria for what she and her colleagues saw as an emerging condition, which they termed traumatic grief. Their view of its defining features: an intense daily yearning and preoccupation with the deceased. In essence, it is the inability to adjust to life without that person, notes Mardi J. Horowitz, professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, and another early researcher of the condition. Prigerson, then an assistant professor at the Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic in Pittsburgh, hoped the meeting would begin the process of finding enough evidence to support changing the DSM. “We knew that grief predicted a lot of bad outcomes—over and above depression and anxiety—and thought it was worthy of clinical attention in its own right,” says Prigerson, now a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.
Monica
Womb Twin Thought For The Day: YOU
Commit an act of SELF ish ness (the kind version)
Then notice that the world doesn't fall apart, it continues on just fine.
In fact, people don't even notice - they think it's normal!
(while you secretly think you are being mean)
Allow yourself at least a moment of being SELFish every day, then work your way up to more and more moments.
It's ok...really!
You are here to be a SELF, you just forgot due to reliving your dream of the womb.
Enjoy today, it is YOURS
Monica
Then notice that the world doesn't fall apart, it continues on just fine.
In fact, people don't even notice - they think it's normal!
(while you secretly think you are being mean)
Allow yourself at least a moment of being SELFish every day, then work your way up to more and more moments.
It's ok...really!
You are here to be a SELF, you just forgot due to reliving your dream of the womb.
Enjoy today, it is YOURS
Monica
Saturday, June 11, 2011
In-Utero Birthday Cake + conception/split cupcakes
Click on this link to see these amazing cakes:
http://flavorwire.com/185630/pic-of-the-day-kim-and-kelley-deals-twins-in-utero-birthday-cake
http://flavorwire.com/185630/pic-of-the-day-kim-and-kelley-deals-twins-in-utero-birthday-cake
Monday, June 6, 2011
Could Conjoined Twins Share a Mind?
Hi Friends,
I found this article titled, Could Conjoined Twins Share a Mind?, from the New York Times to be of interest and you might too. This is empathy to the max! I was fascinated by the shared vision and taste experiences. There is also mention of Christopher, a 6-year-old who has been told that he had a twin who died in the womb. The remnants of the twin, the doctors told his mother, were absorbed into his body, leaving only an unusual hairy patch on his back that still remains, the soft fuzzy shadow of a life that might have been. “If I don’t feel like being me, I can switch to how my twin feels,” Christopher told the author once, as he was playing a video game. “And if I’m mad, I can switch to how my twin feels. Then I can switch back to being me.” Heavy stuff for a 6-year-old, don’t you think? I sure hope they don’t do the reality show. I must warn you that the article is quite long. Here’s the link to it:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/29/magazine/could-conjoined-twins-share-a-mind.html
Barbara M
I found this article titled, Could Conjoined Twins Share a Mind?, from the New York Times to be of interest and you might too. This is empathy to the max! I was fascinated by the shared vision and taste experiences. There is also mention of Christopher, a 6-year-old who has been told that he had a twin who died in the womb. The remnants of the twin, the doctors told his mother, were absorbed into his body, leaving only an unusual hairy patch on his back that still remains, the soft fuzzy shadow of a life that might have been. “If I don’t feel like being me, I can switch to how my twin feels,” Christopher told the author once, as he was playing a video game. “And if I’m mad, I can switch to how my twin feels. Then I can switch back to being me.” Heavy stuff for a 6-year-old, don’t you think? I sure hope they don’t do the reality show. I must warn you that the article is quite long. Here’s the link to it:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/29/magazine/could-conjoined-twins-share-a-mind.html
Barbara M
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Adele - a womb twin survivor?
Singer Adele talks about anxiety attacks and how twin-like the pining for her ex-boyfriend admittedly is...could her husky voice and alpha talent/stardom be further indication that she survived a male twin?
In Huffington Post:
In an era marked by electronic, sexed up pop-art "statements" and superstardom for its own sake, Adele stands out by slumping back, the unplugged organ in the neon glow room, silent if not for the entrancing call she croons out, hooking into the hearts of suddenly self-aware crowd.
The unlikely popstar, the genius poet of heartbreak, has taken the music world by storm, her throwback sound and soul capturing the hearts of listeners worldwide. Her first album, "19," and hit single, "Chasing Pavements," won her two Grammys, and her new record, "21," filled with the smoothed and cradled anger that resulted from a failed relationship, have her dominating the Billboard charts like few artists have done before.
But here's the catch-22 of success: this new level of fame comes as a result of the great art that came from heartbreak, and as her lyrics show, she'd have done anything to avoid that pain. And those words don't just capture a moment in time, not just the immediate regret of a failed relationship. As she tells Out Magazine, she'd still do anything for that relationship, that love of her life to have worked out -- even give up the resulting fame.
"I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for not making my relationship with my ex on 21 work, because he's the love of my life," she says, before adding that she would have been willing to give up everything for him. Everything? "Well, I would still be singing in the shower, of course, but yeah -- my career, my friendships, my hobbies. I would have given up trying to be the best."
If Adele writes best when she's confused about love, or upset that what she has is not working, it seems there could a lot more hit records on the way, as it may be tough to find what she had with her ex-boyfriend.
"He was my soul mate. We had everything -- on every level we were totally right. We'd finish each other's sentences, and he could just pick up how I was feeling by the look in my eye, down to a T, and we loved the same things, and hated the same things, and we were brave when the other was brave and weak when the other one was weak -- almost like twins, you know--and I think that's rare when you find the full circle in one person, and I think that's what I'll always be looking for in other men."
In Rolling Stone magazine she says:
"I'm scared of audiences," she tells the magazine. "One show in Amsterdam I was so nervous I escaped out the fire exit. I've thrown up a couple of times. Once in Brussels I projectile vomited on someone. I just gotta bear it. But I don't like touring. I have anxiety attacks a lot."
In Huffington Post:
In an era marked by electronic, sexed up pop-art "statements" and superstardom for its own sake, Adele stands out by slumping back, the unplugged organ in the neon glow room, silent if not for the entrancing call she croons out, hooking into the hearts of suddenly self-aware crowd.
The unlikely popstar, the genius poet of heartbreak, has taken the music world by storm, her throwback sound and soul capturing the hearts of listeners worldwide. Her first album, "19," and hit single, "Chasing Pavements," won her two Grammys, and her new record, "21," filled with the smoothed and cradled anger that resulted from a failed relationship, have her dominating the Billboard charts like few artists have done before.
But here's the catch-22 of success: this new level of fame comes as a result of the great art that came from heartbreak, and as her lyrics show, she'd have done anything to avoid that pain. And those words don't just capture a moment in time, not just the immediate regret of a failed relationship. As she tells Out Magazine, she'd still do anything for that relationship, that love of her life to have worked out -- even give up the resulting fame.
"I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for not making my relationship with my ex on 21 work, because he's the love of my life," she says, before adding that she would have been willing to give up everything for him. Everything? "Well, I would still be singing in the shower, of course, but yeah -- my career, my friendships, my hobbies. I would have given up trying to be the best."
If Adele writes best when she's confused about love, or upset that what she has is not working, it seems there could a lot more hit records on the way, as it may be tough to find what she had with her ex-boyfriend.
"He was my soul mate. We had everything -- on every level we were totally right. We'd finish each other's sentences, and he could just pick up how I was feeling by the look in my eye, down to a T, and we loved the same things, and hated the same things, and we were brave when the other was brave and weak when the other one was weak -- almost like twins, you know--and I think that's rare when you find the full circle in one person, and I think that's what I'll always be looking for in other men."
In Rolling Stone magazine she says:
"I'm scared of audiences," she tells the magazine. "One show in Amsterdam I was so nervous I escaped out the fire exit. I've thrown up a couple of times. Once in Brussels I projectile vomited on someone. I just gotta bear it. But I don't like touring. I have anxiety attacks a lot."
Monday, May 16, 2011
MUST WATCH FILM CLIP: Ere Ibeji + Twin Loss Beliefs of the Yoruba (click on blue link)
http://www.learner.org/courses/globalart/theme/6/index.html
Within this extraordinary half hour show on the subject of Death, there is a segment about the Yoruba culture in SW Nigeria which has the highest twinning rate in the world. Tune in to this film clip from 19:50 - 21:11, as transcribed below:
"Every individual has a spirit partner in heaven. In the case of twins, the bond between the two before birth was so close that one could not live without the other. Now, if one of the twins should die the belief is that the other might follow unless certain measures are taken. As a result, Ere Ibeji - twin memorials - were created into which the soul of the deceased would be invoked. If the second twin should die, they create another memorial in their memory and the mother of the twins keeps both and it is believed the spirits of these twins will continue to bless their parents"
With thanks to the Annenberg Foundation for bringing thoughtful, important culture to the masses through beautiful programming.
Within this extraordinary half hour show on the subject of Death, there is a segment about the Yoruba culture in SW Nigeria which has the highest twinning rate in the world. Tune in to this film clip from 19:50 - 21:11, as transcribed below:
"Every individual has a spirit partner in heaven. In the case of twins, the bond between the two before birth was so close that one could not live without the other. Now, if one of the twins should die the belief is that the other might follow unless certain measures are taken. As a result, Ere Ibeji - twin memorials - were created into which the soul of the deceased would be invoked. If the second twin should die, they create another memorial in their memory and the mother of the twins keeps both and it is believed the spirits of these twins will continue to bless their parents"
With thanks to the Annenberg Foundation for bringing thoughtful, important culture to the masses through beautiful programming.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Part 2 - Interview with a Well-Adjusted Womb Twin Survivor - they do exist!
As a follow up to Part 1 of this interview (posted below on April 6), here concludes this very special interview with a womb twin survivor who lost his female twin at birth, and is quite fine with it. He is convinced he was spared traumatic affect due to his mother's early acknowledgment and constant communication about the loss of his twin.
Consider what he shares - about a subject never spoken about with people other than his mom - an early Mother's Day tribute to the incredible instincts his mother had not to repress the loss. Let this also be a tribute to the current & future mother's of womb twins to overcome their apprehension and fears and learn to talk about it with their children. When you handle it well, your child will too. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away, it makes it much worse.
What advice would you give parents of womb twin survivors on how to handle this well for their children?
I wouldn’t evade it or negate it, I’d definitely talk about it. It’s something that did happen.
How early would you bring it up?
I would talk about it from when you brought the baby home. I remember it was a pretty early memory that I was a twin and my mother was talking to me about it, by doing that she comforted me and that’s what you want to do.
Do you feel that if she told you later in life that it would’ve been shocking rather than always growing up with that knowledge?
Sure because you set a tone with a child in exposing it to any kind of information or knowledge. If you do it later, it could be more of a shock and less embraceable. You might have difficulties developing that knowledge.
Whereas if you get it earlier, it’s just integrated into who you are?
Yes and then you have more of a possibility of developing that knowledge and nurturing it into a positive manifestation.
For instance, my mother was a great artist and she chose not to teach me that when I was very young. She taught me when I was 9 or 10 and it was hard for me to assimilate that information and I was kind of upset because I wish she did teach me earlier. To use an example, prodigies like Mozart who are taught & exposed to information at a young age can assimilate that information much easier, you don’t have to think about it too much. You’re just doing it. It’s like walking and reading and talking.
How would you suggest the subject be brought up?
Just talk. There’s no right way or wrong way…but the wrong way is not doing anything about it all. If parents are fearful and apprehensive… look, a child only wants to share with you and other people, the more sharing and conversing is done, the more adulation and love is created. And the more love and adulation, the more intelligence is developed and the greater the perception. And that’s all that beings want is that comeraderie, all species, that is the first act of communication. Just going through the motions of eating and getting up in the morning, they emulate those things. So when you start talking about things, they’re going to emulate those things.
When you do it while their young, as a parent to a child, you’re going to do it in a positive way for the most part because you’re enamored by this new being. You make it up as you go, there are no instructions on how to rear children even though there should be, but you know there are right ways and wrong ways of doing things and anything that is done in a positive, loving manner can’t be bad.
If you don’t know what you’re doing and you think you’re doing it wrong, it still can’t be bad because you figure it out as you go. And not only do you figure it out, the child figures it out, you help each other. It goes back & forth. It’s a given that the teacher learns more or just as much from the student. The master really learns from the student if he’s a good teacher. And that is a very high acknowledgment in a very sagely manner, it’s not easy to do and people who are masters and have acquired that sagely manner are aware of that. That’s what you want to manifest in and it can take a lifetime to learn to do that. Or you can just do it…as your biological being tells you to do. And if you follow those things, sometimes you can learn a lot more than you knew you could.
Did your mother ever tell you things about your twin that you didn’t like hearing - did she ever vent or say anything that wasn’t as palatable to you but served her more? Anything negative? Or was it all positive sharing?
Pretty much, I was fortunate that she didn’t - but she did vent about her mother. Even that wasn’t accusatory, just venting issues. I remember she would say things like “there’s no such thing as better, there are just different applications or different ways of looking at things.” It instilled in me not to be judgmental.
Do you think you and your mother shared the same level of grief for your twin? Did you feel on par or that there were different intensities?
I guess the grief that she was dealing with, she dealt with by acknowledging it and speaking to me about it. So I was aware of it and I could acknowledge it and in doing so, that was dealing with the grief. Now, when I got older and dealt with grief with the passing of relatives, I learned a lot about grief. You have to confront grief. You have to deal with grief. If you don’t, it manifests into disease and creates illness and ill manners and ill ways. Dis-ease.
I think that by her talking to me about it, she was dealing with her grief and I was acknowledging this information but I didn’t necessarily grieve. That’s why I brought up the family grief, it’s a different type of grief…
So was that a delayed channeling of the grief of your twin to these other later outlets?
No I don’t think so, it’s just different.
Then, would you say that you grieved at the time your mother shared knowledge of your twin’s death and it was just taken care of then? As you went along?
Right, exactly. That’s why I said I didn’t grieve. I think the initiation of this knowledge and the fact that this individual was no longer with us but we were discussing it – this is the acknowledgement of this information but also the embracing of the grief. Dealing with it and diminishing it at the same time. Working in tandem.
To make an analogy, a relative got sick and almost died but didn’t and it was so traumatic that I grieved a real sense of loss. So later, when this person eventually died, it wasn’t as hard as it would’ve been if I hadn’t dealt with that grief earlier. I think of you deal with loss, at that time, in the moment - it creates less of a dramatic situation later, no matter what.
Right, if a parent handles it well, the child can handle it well, no matter what it is.
You don’t even have to handle it all that well but dealing with it is much better than not dealing with it.
Even if it gets messy?
Even if it gets messy because then you’ll deal with it again and it will get easier. You’re still dealing with it as opposed to not dealing with it, because you never get over the death of someone very important to you. Time is kind of irrelevant about that, it could’ve happened yesterday or twenty years ago but depending on how great that individual was in your life, you’re still going to feel that hurt and sense of loss and emotional trauma. But that’s all grief is, it’s like oh we ‘memorialize this person’ but it’s not for them it’s all for us and how we deal with these things emotionally. It’s not for the people who passed. They are wherever they go, we’re still here and it’s us that are emotionally struck by these things and a lot of times these things are not dealt with. That’s why we recreate all these stories about being haunted, we create all these things in our psyche because they’re not dealt with, all this emotional baggage turns into all these diseases whether they’re physical or psychic or psychological, they’re very real and they become very real things. They can become very psychotic, either individually or communally.
So no – it just needs to be dealt with. It doesn’t matter how, it doesn’t matter if it’s the right approach or not. There’s no right way or wrong of way of dealing with this, as long as it is dealt with.
This question may not be appropriate, since you haven’t been aware of Womb Twin Syndrome, but answer it if you like: What advice would you give others who lost a twin around birth to cope?
Other twins who lost twins themselves? It’s an odd question since I never really even knew this was an issue…
Now that I know that it is an issue, and I never knew about it personally myself, I think the best thing to do is to speak about it with other people who have gone through these experiences and to share with one another and talk about it. If you didn’t have that chance when you were a child or baby, I don’t think it’s ever too late to actually try to deal with these things. But do it with people of like mind and maybe you’ll acquire a rest in the trauma and maybe a bit of understanding on how to deal with that and try to heal. What more could you ask for? That’s what I would try to do.
Consider what he shares - about a subject never spoken about with people other than his mom - an early Mother's Day tribute to the incredible instincts his mother had not to repress the loss. Let this also be a tribute to the current & future mother's of womb twins to overcome their apprehension and fears and learn to talk about it with their children. When you handle it well, your child will too. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away, it makes it much worse.
What advice would you give parents of womb twin survivors on how to handle this well for their children?
I wouldn’t evade it or negate it, I’d definitely talk about it. It’s something that did happen.
How early would you bring it up?
I would talk about it from when you brought the baby home. I remember it was a pretty early memory that I was a twin and my mother was talking to me about it, by doing that she comforted me and that’s what you want to do.
Do you feel that if she told you later in life that it would’ve been shocking rather than always growing up with that knowledge?
Sure because you set a tone with a child in exposing it to any kind of information or knowledge. If you do it later, it could be more of a shock and less embraceable. You might have difficulties developing that knowledge.
Whereas if you get it earlier, it’s just integrated into who you are?
Yes and then you have more of a possibility of developing that knowledge and nurturing it into a positive manifestation.
For instance, my mother was a great artist and she chose not to teach me that when I was very young. She taught me when I was 9 or 10 and it was hard for me to assimilate that information and I was kind of upset because I wish she did teach me earlier. To use an example, prodigies like Mozart who are taught & exposed to information at a young age can assimilate that information much easier, you don’t have to think about it too much. You’re just doing it. It’s like walking and reading and talking.
How would you suggest the subject be brought up?
Just talk. There’s no right way or wrong way…but the wrong way is not doing anything about it all. If parents are fearful and apprehensive… look, a child only wants to share with you and other people, the more sharing and conversing is done, the more adulation and love is created. And the more love and adulation, the more intelligence is developed and the greater the perception. And that’s all that beings want is that comeraderie, all species, that is the first act of communication. Just going through the motions of eating and getting up in the morning, they emulate those things. So when you start talking about things, they’re going to emulate those things.
When you do it while their young, as a parent to a child, you’re going to do it in a positive way for the most part because you’re enamored by this new being. You make it up as you go, there are no instructions on how to rear children even though there should be, but you know there are right ways and wrong ways of doing things and anything that is done in a positive, loving manner can’t be bad.
If you don’t know what you’re doing and you think you’re doing it wrong, it still can’t be bad because you figure it out as you go. And not only do you figure it out, the child figures it out, you help each other. It goes back & forth. It’s a given that the teacher learns more or just as much from the student. The master really learns from the student if he’s a good teacher. And that is a very high acknowledgment in a very sagely manner, it’s not easy to do and people who are masters and have acquired that sagely manner are aware of that. That’s what you want to manifest in and it can take a lifetime to learn to do that. Or you can just do it…as your biological being tells you to do. And if you follow those things, sometimes you can learn a lot more than you knew you could.
Did your mother ever tell you things about your twin that you didn’t like hearing - did she ever vent or say anything that wasn’t as palatable to you but served her more? Anything negative? Or was it all positive sharing?
Pretty much, I was fortunate that she didn’t - but she did vent about her mother. Even that wasn’t accusatory, just venting issues. I remember she would say things like “there’s no such thing as better, there are just different applications or different ways of looking at things.” It instilled in me not to be judgmental.
Do you think you and your mother shared the same level of grief for your twin? Did you feel on par or that there were different intensities?
I guess the grief that she was dealing with, she dealt with by acknowledging it and speaking to me about it. So I was aware of it and I could acknowledge it and in doing so, that was dealing with the grief. Now, when I got older and dealt with grief with the passing of relatives, I learned a lot about grief. You have to confront grief. You have to deal with grief. If you don’t, it manifests into disease and creates illness and ill manners and ill ways. Dis-ease.
I think that by her talking to me about it, she was dealing with her grief and I was acknowledging this information but I didn’t necessarily grieve. That’s why I brought up the family grief, it’s a different type of grief…
So was that a delayed channeling of the grief of your twin to these other later outlets?
No I don’t think so, it’s just different.
Then, would you say that you grieved at the time your mother shared knowledge of your twin’s death and it was just taken care of then? As you went along?
Right, exactly. That’s why I said I didn’t grieve. I think the initiation of this knowledge and the fact that this individual was no longer with us but we were discussing it – this is the acknowledgement of this information but also the embracing of the grief. Dealing with it and diminishing it at the same time. Working in tandem.
To make an analogy, a relative got sick and almost died but didn’t and it was so traumatic that I grieved a real sense of loss. So later, when this person eventually died, it wasn’t as hard as it would’ve been if I hadn’t dealt with that grief earlier. I think of you deal with loss, at that time, in the moment - it creates less of a dramatic situation later, no matter what.
Right, if a parent handles it well, the child can handle it well, no matter what it is.
You don’t even have to handle it all that well but dealing with it is much better than not dealing with it.
Even if it gets messy?
Even if it gets messy because then you’ll deal with it again and it will get easier. You’re still dealing with it as opposed to not dealing with it, because you never get over the death of someone very important to you. Time is kind of irrelevant about that, it could’ve happened yesterday or twenty years ago but depending on how great that individual was in your life, you’re still going to feel that hurt and sense of loss and emotional trauma. But that’s all grief is, it’s like oh we ‘memorialize this person’ but it’s not for them it’s all for us and how we deal with these things emotionally. It’s not for the people who passed. They are wherever they go, we’re still here and it’s us that are emotionally struck by these things and a lot of times these things are not dealt with. That’s why we recreate all these stories about being haunted, we create all these things in our psyche because they’re not dealt with, all this emotional baggage turns into all these diseases whether they’re physical or psychic or psychological, they’re very real and they become very real things. They can become very psychotic, either individually or communally.
So no – it just needs to be dealt with. It doesn’t matter how, it doesn’t matter if it’s the right approach or not. There’s no right way or wrong of way of dealing with this, as long as it is dealt with.
This question may not be appropriate, since you haven’t been aware of Womb Twin Syndrome, but answer it if you like: What advice would you give others who lost a twin around birth to cope?
Other twins who lost twins themselves? It’s an odd question since I never really even knew this was an issue…
Now that I know that it is an issue, and I never knew about it personally myself, I think the best thing to do is to speak about it with other people who have gone through these experiences and to share with one another and talk about it. If you didn’t have that chance when you were a child or baby, I don’t think it’s ever too late to actually try to deal with these things. But do it with people of like mind and maybe you’ll acquire a rest in the trauma and maybe a bit of understanding on how to deal with that and try to heal. What more could you ask for? That’s what I would try to do.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
"Womb Twin Survivors" Book Orders on Amazon
If you are trying to order Althea Hayton's newest book "Womb Twin Survivors" from Amazon, please note we are working to resolve issues so that orders can be filled as soon as possible. Althea is aware of the snag and is working on resolving it so that you won't have to wait longer than necessary. So if you experience any problems, be patient for another week or two while they correct the hold up.
Meanwhile, of course, you can always order direct from Althea at Wren Publications...or see snippets from the book on her website.
Feel free to share any feedback so we can stay on top of the book fulfillment process. We've waited long enough for Althea to write this book, and certainly don't want you to experience any more delays! It is her most comprehensive book yet, jam packed with useful information...I can't help but wonder how different my life would've been to have had this information sooner and that makes me so excited for young womb twin survivors today. Get this book and shave years of suffering off your life! Heartfelt gratitude to Althea Hayton for figuring this out!!
Meanwhile, of course, you can always order direct from Althea at Wren Publications...or see snippets from the book on her website.
Feel free to share any feedback so we can stay on top of the book fulfillment process. We've waited long enough for Althea to write this book, and certainly don't want you to experience any more delays! It is her most comprehensive book yet, jam packed with useful information...I can't help but wonder how different my life would've been to have had this information sooner and that makes me so excited for young womb twin survivors today. Get this book and shave years of suffering off your life! Heartfelt gratitude to Althea Hayton for figuring this out!!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
More on the Healing Path from Althea Hayton
A healing path (2) Resentment into reconciliation
When you decide to open yourself to healing, the most difficult thing is the decision to act: the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life. The procedure and the process is its own reward.
To awaken from the Dream of the Womb requires that you become aware of what keeps you asleep. Even when you don’t realise it, you are constantly re enacting your dream. If you don’t know if you are awake or asleep then you cannot know when you have awakened. The awakening is the healing: it is as simple as that.
Letting go of the Dream, which has been your way of being for so long, will be very difficult indeed. waking up will be hard. To awaken and heal, you will have to always choose to do the most difficult thing. If it is very, very difficult, then you can know that you are trying to wake up.
THE PRACTICE OF SELF-FORGIVENESS - resentment into reconciliation
The Dream of the Womb is a treadmill or prison where there must never be change or growth. Self-forgiveness can change all that. The power of self-forgiveness can stop the treadmill and let you get off. It gets you from resentment to reconciliation.
Resentment
When you are lost in the Dream, you begrudge others their ability to drink the cup of life to the dregs. You feel bitter about the hurts and abuses against you in some distant past. You bear a grudge against the people who have made you feel bad about yourself - anyone will do. You take exception to any perceived attack on your self esteem. Perhaps you secretly believe that there is much to be aggrieved and angry about, but no one seems to understand. Trivial things annoy you excessively and you feel indignant about injustice. You feel jaundiced by life in general and peeved by stupid, irritating people. You feel put out about being ignored.
You would love express your resentment by being spiteful, unfriendly, ungenerous or vindictive, but perhaps you have personal standards of good behaviour so you suppress these feelings in the name of charity and forbearance. If you do not hold these rigid standards, then you probably tend to get into a rage from time to time where spite and vindictiveness surface and explode from within you. If not, then it takes very little to send you into a rage......
Whenever you are surrounded by animosity, bitterness and discontent this makes you unhappy and you resent feeling unhappy. You try to distance yourself from people of ill-will by suppressing all indignation, irritation, jealousy, malevolence and malice towards them and being “nice.’ You are often offended but say nothing and just suffer inwardly.
Reconciliation
If you can forgive yourself of the sin of simply being the person you are, then you can cease to feel resentment. You can pardon yourself for the rancour you feel when you think of your wasted life; you can remit what you owe to the people you have let down. You can acquit yourself of your imagined mistakes; clear yourself of blame; excuse your fond fantasies, for how else could you have kept alive your Dream for so long?
You can exonerate your self from self-imposed obligations. You can begin to indulge yourself and meet your emotional needs. You can feel pardoned for the things you did not do. You can excuse the way you have often taken on more than was your due. You can be spared the inner condemnation that you always feel; make allowances for the foolish things you have believed about yourself. You can overlook the minor blemishes on your character.
The reward for doing the difficult thing
Truly, the process of self-forgiveness is its own reward. As you forgive yourself, than you will be better at compassion to others. You will give in gracefully, be lenient to others when they make mistakes. You can become the forbearing person you always dreamed of being. You will be generous and understanding of yourself and others, as we all struggle on through life.
By deciding to use the power of forgiveness, you are allowing yourself to acknowledge your existing gifts. These are:
strength, potency, efficacy and stamina to get a job done;
guts, fortitude and endurance to solve problems;
forcefulness, assertiveness and aggression to fight wrong-doing;
the ability to be constructive in thought and deed.
vitality, cogency and adequacy
The ability to take responsibility for your own life and your part in relationships.
All these gifts will be there for you when you awaken from the Dream, so start today!
This may seem like the final stage of healing, but in fact it is only the first stage in making a beginning - there is much, much more to come, but without this first stage completed, none of that can be yours.
When you decide to open yourself to healing, the most difficult thing is the decision to act: the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life. The procedure and the process is its own reward.
To awaken from the Dream of the Womb requires that you become aware of what keeps you asleep. Even when you don’t realise it, you are constantly re enacting your dream. If you don’t know if you are awake or asleep then you cannot know when you have awakened. The awakening is the healing: it is as simple as that.
Letting go of the Dream, which has been your way of being for so long, will be very difficult indeed. waking up will be hard. To awaken and heal, you will have to always choose to do the most difficult thing. If it is very, very difficult, then you can know that you are trying to wake up.
THE PRACTICE OF SELF-FORGIVENESS - resentment into reconciliation
The Dream of the Womb is a treadmill or prison where there must never be change or growth. Self-forgiveness can change all that. The power of self-forgiveness can stop the treadmill and let you get off. It gets you from resentment to reconciliation.
Resentment
When you are lost in the Dream, you begrudge others their ability to drink the cup of life to the dregs. You feel bitter about the hurts and abuses against you in some distant past. You bear a grudge against the people who have made you feel bad about yourself - anyone will do. You take exception to any perceived attack on your self esteem. Perhaps you secretly believe that there is much to be aggrieved and angry about, but no one seems to understand. Trivial things annoy you excessively and you feel indignant about injustice. You feel jaundiced by life in general and peeved by stupid, irritating people. You feel put out about being ignored.
You would love express your resentment by being spiteful, unfriendly, ungenerous or vindictive, but perhaps you have personal standards of good behaviour so you suppress these feelings in the name of charity and forbearance. If you do not hold these rigid standards, then you probably tend to get into a rage from time to time where spite and vindictiveness surface and explode from within you. If not, then it takes very little to send you into a rage......
Whenever you are surrounded by animosity, bitterness and discontent this makes you unhappy and you resent feeling unhappy. You try to distance yourself from people of ill-will by suppressing all indignation, irritation, jealousy, malevolence and malice towards them and being “nice.’ You are often offended but say nothing and just suffer inwardly.
Reconciliation
If you can forgive yourself of the sin of simply being the person you are, then you can cease to feel resentment. You can pardon yourself for the rancour you feel when you think of your wasted life; you can remit what you owe to the people you have let down. You can acquit yourself of your imagined mistakes; clear yourself of blame; excuse your fond fantasies, for how else could you have kept alive your Dream for so long?
You can exonerate your self from self-imposed obligations. You can begin to indulge yourself and meet your emotional needs. You can feel pardoned for the things you did not do. You can excuse the way you have often taken on more than was your due. You can be spared the inner condemnation that you always feel; make allowances for the foolish things you have believed about yourself. You can overlook the minor blemishes on your character.
The reward for doing the difficult thing
Truly, the process of self-forgiveness is its own reward. As you forgive yourself, than you will be better at compassion to others. You will give in gracefully, be lenient to others when they make mistakes. You can become the forbearing person you always dreamed of being. You will be generous and understanding of yourself and others, as we all struggle on through life.
By deciding to use the power of forgiveness, you are allowing yourself to acknowledge your existing gifts. These are:
strength, potency, efficacy and stamina to get a job done;
guts, fortitude and endurance to solve problems;
forcefulness, assertiveness and aggression to fight wrong-doing;
the ability to be constructive in thought and deed.
vitality, cogency and adequacy
The ability to take responsibility for your own life and your part in relationships.
All these gifts will be there for you when you awaken from the Dream, so start today!
This may seem like the final stage of healing, but in fact it is only the first stage in making a beginning - there is much, much more to come, but without this first stage completed, none of that can be yours.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Interview with a Well Adjusted Womb Twin Survivor - They do exist!
How rare to meet a womb twin survivor who is well adjusted - I had to know more about his story ... what is his secret? He and his family handled it well and it made all the difference.
This is an interview with an adult male whose fraternal twin sister was lost during the birth process, although it was understood she would go from early on (most likely due to twin-to-twin transfusion) as she was undernourished. I just happened to meet this person and discover we both lost our twin sister at birth. He is not involved in the womb twin community and has no awareness of the healing path or that there are others like him who are on it.
He struck me as a rare example of a womb twin survivor who is well adjusted and accepting of the situation and therefore free of many problems associated with the syndrome, largely in part due to the healthy way he and his family embraced the loss. There were many generations of twins in the family and this was simply his version of the twin story which was acknowledged and had its place in the family history. Unlike so many families in our culture who repress lost twins, usually out of grief and ignorance which causes further damage due to mishandling, he and his family handled it well and therefore it sits well in him.
Tell us about your mother’s pregnancy while carrying you, whatever you may know, as well as your birth experience?
I think she didn’t know she was having twins at first, this was in the 1950’s when they didn’t have the technology, one was behind the other. Then towards the end they realized. I was 2 ½ months premature and my mom was going thru some weird stuff in her life and was suicidal. She told me she was on the verge of jumping in front of a subway train but she had stopped herself because of myself and my twin sister within her. That was always interesting later, there was a close bond thing between us. But during birth she told me this story about these three spiritual people, wise men, saying as she was giving birth “One has to go back” and I could sort of sense it when she was talking about it.
Do you think that was the first time she became aware that she was carrying twins?
I think so, I think it was pretty close in time.
I always thought about that – especially during teen/young adulthood, that my sister decided not to come onto this plane. This is a crazy world and there have been times I’ve been a little jealous that she went off onto great adventures, especially now, I mean, I’ve always known this intuitively before it was known in astrophysics, how huge the universe is and it gets bigger everyday as we see more into the great beyond. I think there’s a lot out there and I’ve always thought how ironic I can almost see us together sort of looking at planet earth coming in, as energy sources and she is sort of skidding off the atmosphere saying “No!”
So she was already skiddish before she even went in?
I wonder – it’s all so fast, the inception of life, so it’s questionable. They say you are an intelligent being at 8 weeks into conception, whether or not you are actually a part of this biosphere or not is to be questioned.
I had a friend who had a near death experience and left his body, he talked about this white cord that kept going in the atmosphere..so l don’t know if, as a spirit entity that tether comes toward the biosphere and hooks onto it, I don’t know but I always thought it was interesting that she didn’t…when I was young I missed her [referring to his twin]. My aunt had fraternal twins male/female a year older than me, also when I was a teenager she told me my grandmother had a twin also but lost it before birth.
So you had a mirror image of a fraternal twin pair growing up?
Not really – she had a foot/skeletal problem and was frail, and the boy was fine, he was big – bigger than me.
Do you know who was born first?
I don’t know, I assume she was because she was more mature but she was physically frail so it’s hard to tell.
Anyway, back to my mom and the three men during my birth, so the story was my mom would have to put one [twin] back and I have a hard time remembering her decision (she’s deceased now) but I sort of pushed myself out. I had a want to come out here. My sister wasn’t born alive, I don’t know when she died but it was during the birth.
What happened was, my mom didn’t know she was having twins and she wasn’t eating enough food for two and apparently I was eating all the food and my sister wasn’t nourished properly. I don’t think she knew there were twins until she went into labor. It’s hard for me to recall all of it exactly but I was 3 lbs 8 ozs and in an incubator for a good 2 months and it was kind of odd because they realized about a month before I was born, because I was born in February, that the oxygen had been blinding kids. They figured out how to do it right – that’s what happened to Stevie Wonder, the oxygen was too strong and it burned his eyes out. That’s what I kind of remember, my mom was struck by that and it was sort of a premonition that she was going to have to put one back.
So she knew in her soul that she’d have to put one back even though the medical doctors hadn’t yet confirmed she was carrying twins?
Yes.
Do you have any pre-birth memories you can personally recall?
I remember things very vividly from 2-3 years old whereas most people don’t.
But I don’t know, I remember her and I took it as a given – because these stories I didn’t know til later like age 9 or 10 (even though I was always told I was a twin from the beginning).
I always took it as a given and wasn’t really upset about it, I missed her and there was curiosity.
My mom used to talk about it a lot, so I guess any of the trauma that might have occurred she subdued by acknowledging it, talking about it. It would be a curious thing if I had a mother who negated it and tried to act like it didn’t happen and I could definitely see that as being a very traumatic experience. But I took it as a given, that everything was more or less ok and that this was just something that happened and was part of the experience of Being. My mom was very good at that – embracing this experience of Being. She always referred to us as Human Beings, and that concept of Being had a profound understanding.
(I refer to the “Be” heart image I posted on this blog this past Valentine’s Day as it relates to Being a Self)
Yes, but it’s not just a Be, it’s the act of Be-ing.
It’s not just a noun, it’s an adjective, it’s an act. It’s very much this living expression. With humans there is some kind of weird difference from animals, and that difference is Human Being. This presence of now. Not only now, but the linear time frame. Animals are mostly in the present and really don’t have a huge concept of linear time, I don’t necessarily agree with that I think it’s shorter maybe, I know from my experience of dealing with animals they do have a history of understanding but they don’t have this act of Being that we have.
What I was once told about this is, that humans differ in that they have capability of Story. They have a sense of story, and ability to pass that on, that animals don’t.
That’s an interesting way of putting it, yes, my mother was very much an oracle, a storyteller and that was a very big part of learning from her – through the stories. Anyway, she quelled the trauma that might have been superceded…
So you know that in your bones?
That how she handled it definitely affected how you handled it?
Yes it’s that weird innate connection/bond that we had, because when she said she didn’t jump in front of that subway (train) it was because I was helping her, and we maintained that throughout our lives. This camaraderie, nurturing and helping the sustainability between us.
Would you say she was like a twin to you in a way?
That maternal bond is extremely strong – no, my mom wasn’t my sibling or my friend, we were very close but she was my mother. She wasn’t your stereotypical mother but she was my mother and she made that clear. I sense my twin and her being is a different entity. It’s a distinct character.
So you never saw your mother as sort of like a twin consolation prize?
Never, never. I always sensed my [twin] sister’s presence, sometimes even now.
Going back to the subway incident, can you personally recall that in utero?
It’s hard to tell…here’s a sidebar analogy:
He then recounts a memory from the age of 3 in Mexico where he was standing on the bay intrigued by the small island in the distance. One day a woman came and put him on her back and attempted to swim out to the island to fulfill his dream of going there. On the way she grew tired and frightened that she would not make it. He calmed her down and told her it was going to be ok. Then a boat came and rescued them, but he connected this to being a similar situation to his mom in the subway where they comforted each other to survive.
I wonder if this could be a repeat of your womb story with your twin? Sometimes these dynamics repeat in order to bring them to awareness.
Yes. That’s why this was such a profound moment in my life.
You had to trust a stranger!
Well, no, she was actually trusting me!
But you were only 3 and that’s amazing a woman would take a 3 year old out into the ocean…
But she got tranced into what I was doing with this thing (meaning his wanting to go to the island) and then she got scared and this boat came and pulled us out of the water. The boat literally came out of nowhere from my perspective, all of a sudden it just appeared.
Do you have that in other parts of your life, this comforting other women to get where you need to go?
Yes with my mother, my younger sister, my nephews as babies, when they’re babies there’s no gender really. So in that sense it sort of repeated many times.
How much younger was your sister and were you always clear she was your sister and not your twin?
Yes, she was 10 years younger and always my sister. To her I was kind of a father also, because of the age difference.
Did your twin have a name and if not, what name would you give her?
Before my sister was born, my mom would talk about my twin sister, and she was going to name my sister Afrika and she said that was the name she wanted to give my twin [chuckling happily] so I guess that was her name.
So for you, that’s her name too?
Yes.
Getting back to when you were coming in and seeing earth, and this tether thing..
Did you and your twin have an agreement or pact between you and if you could put that into words how would you say it?
I don’t know, you know, yes…I guess there was this unity in the womb. We were spiritually going into this form of living, this – what do you call it – you know when you come into this plane and you go into a womb and you become a living entity, I seem to remember we were doing it together and I kind of sense that…
It was always a curiosity when my mom said I was the one who was nurtured the most, it was really hard to figure out how that happened but in a way I kind of sensed that if one wasn’t gonna get it then both of us would’ve probably died. If we split the nutrition, we probably both would’ve died. I don’t think there was enough for two so one had to get the greater amount and I get the sense that she [my twin] said “ok”…
Did you ever feel guilty about that?
No, not at all.
Thankful?
Yeah, but sort of beyond that though…
How did you feel?
It was sort of like a given, it was something that needed to be done and maybe because I was the one. I mean, if she was the one, then I would’ve probably died. So it wasn’t really like a sense of obli…I don’t know, not like a material thing, like “it’s mine, I’m going to take it” you know but this obligation because of nature and nurture, survival. I sort of sense her moving on, and that was a given too, she went back to the continuum.
Do you have a sense of when that was?
I do, it was during birth…and it was a given. It was what was supposed to be done. There was no hierarchy involved but later as I got older I got a sense of jealousy towards her that she…in a way it’s kind of strange, I always had a sense of her being the stronger spirit. I don’t know if that’s the influence of the matriarchal bond and knowledge, not only from my mom but my grandmother and women in general and just as females in general, as a gender with the species. I don’t know if that was the case or if it was just that she, I always had reverence towards her because of that, that strength. Even though she was the weaker one, there was a great deal of strength for her to make that move and sacrifice. There have been many times that I’ve missed her and thought she would help me through these weird situations. She would have a clear stable mind and give me advice and understand.
This is kind of weird, these feelings are old feelings that haven’t really been talked out…but as I’m expressing them, I know them instinctually to be very old feelings.
So how often to do you think about your twin?
A lot actually.
Would you say daily or more than daily, weekly, monthly….?
I don’t know, maybe weekly, bi weekly, sometimes daily. I’d say frequent, often. I’d say more often than not.
So she’s really still very much a part of you?
Yeah, yeah.
So can you distinguish between her energy and your energy as a twin?
Oh yeah. Not only that, but the sub-entities within myself. I guess there are one or two of them. But that’s separate than her also. It’s a distinct entity that I’ve always sensed, it’s not me, you know.
So about the sub-entities within… Do you feel like you have a dual personality yourself? Do you feel an alpha/beta thing or how would you describe it?
I wouldn’t call it like a dual personality per se, I would say there is some kind of weird polarization and I think that’s pretty common in most clear healthy human beings. You know in mythology, I was very enamored by Pinocchio and Jiminy Crickit and this other entity within yourself speaking to you and when I was younger it was very loud. Very loud.
Was it masculine or feminine?
It’s masculine I guess.
So it was you, it’s coming from you?
Yeah, yeah, definitely. You know, it was me but it was very separate at the same time.
So there’s a duality right there.
Yeah, but I remember I would have these dreams when I was young that started around 6 or 7, maybe earlier but I started having these dreams of flying and I could never really do it. I was afraid, I wouldn’t get too much lift and this would go on for years. Then I’d get a little more lift, I could get to the 2nd floor of the library on 10th Street between A& B. I was a little scared of flying, this would go on for years and I wouldn’t get much higher than the second floor. Then later, I’d get a little higher and get a little more control. This went on for decades. Then I might’ve been in my 20’s…
My life in the outside world prior to 6 or 7 yrs old, 1st grade was ok but in 2nd grade I was in an inferior school and the teacher thought I was smart so assigned me to a smarter class. My mom transferred me to another school where the learning curve was way too high and I didn’t have academic training even though I was with people at the same intelligence level. The point being, it turned out I had dyslexia and when I got to 2nd grade I cheated on a spelling test to avoid embarrassment and she humiliated me in front of the whole class. That left a really bad…it was a really bad experience. My school experience with other people and friends – I lived on the East Side/they lived on the West Side, rich people/poor people, hipsters/straight and all these dualities..in that environment with friends & relatives, brilliant brilliant people, I was on par with them but in the normal social environs & activities were exceedingly uncomfortable. I didn’t live in the same neighborhood, but I understand why my mom did it and I don’t necessarily regret it, but it was very difficult to navigate through.
So you had a lot of anxiety?
A lot of anxiety. And then they took me out of the smart class and put me in the lower class because I cheated on that test and was put with the inferior people that weren’t as smart and I was bored to tears but I didn’t have the academic wherewithal and luckily I went to some private schools for dyslexia. But I could do a lot of things that no one else could do plus my mom was always teaching me things and I was always learning things so it was a weird dichotomy and I didn’t know til much later – I didn’t read my first cover to cover book til I was 16 or 17 and it was Hesse – and I remember reading ‘A Stranger In A Strange Land’ and I identify with that stranger so much, I still do, feeling like on this planet and not being able to fit in properly. Being a person with a big heart and kind and other people not understanding it and even castigating you behind it. Anyway, I really identified with that. I thought about my sister again and if she were around, I mean, my mom helped a lot but it took a really long time until I had friends per se. There were always interruptions for a lot of different reasons. It would get really good and then something would happen and they would get taken away or move or all these pretty heavy scenes.
Did you feel lonely?
No, I was never lonely per se but was very disheartened because of these interruptions.
I remember we moved around a lot and we didn’t have a steady continual environ until 5 or 6 yrs old and we stayed in that place until I was 13. Best friends would move, another came to live with us then he was taken away and we were really close and that was a huge break up.
Is it repeated abandonment?
Not only abandonment but you find somebody you gel with and then it almost gets to a point of familiarity, a comfort level, where you’re not guessing anymore and it’s this nice comeraderie and you start to work on that kind of magic - which is a whole other thing to perpetuate and when it gets interrupted, it’s like you’re suddenly floundering in the ocean, you know.
I would try to connect with fellow pupils and it was very difficult. I was always kind of an outsider.
So you’ve always felt different?
Always. I mean, yeah, always. It’s always been hard, I’ve led a very difficult life. I’ve always feigned a sense of complacency or chill or whatever…to fit in and not call attention to how different I am and also to maintain a level of sanity. I used to make these really deep reflections and go through thoroughly what happened over the past 6 months or year, biannually maybe more, thorough inspections of what I had done. I did that for 15-20 years but it hasn’t happened in a really long time but I used to sort of be my own therapist. That’s why I have had trouble with therapists, I am my own therapist because I do a better job.
As we conclude Part I of II of this interview, I offer some information about being a womb twin re: boundaries, navigating the world as an individual, hypersensitivity, Self awareness, duality, black holes – all which he agress with and finds very interesting. He said:
Talking about this like we’re doing is not only airing it out but bringing it back up so you can see it and identify with it, relate with it, embrace it and be part of it again. I always refer to this act of Being as Nativity. It’s a word I got in a weird altered state, my mother was very much a visionary, a seer, an oracle, an untrained shaman. She didn’t like it sometimes, she didn’t want to know, it was a burden. She didn’t have a lot of control because she wasn’t trained at it and it would scare her. My level of perception is acute in many ways, I don’t call it an extrasensory perception, I call is an intelligence, i.e. intelligence = perception. The keener your perception the more intelligent you are. I’m not necessarily academically intellectual in all levels I’m not a master of math but I understand physics. My friends, who are brilliant, say “It’s ok, you communicate that anyway” without knowing the language of mathematics. Talking about this starts to open up the perception and, as you said, dealing with these uncomfortable navigations.
It’s all about maintaining the species, Darwin called it survival of the fittest. But it’s like, life wants to live and if one has to die for it to live, that’s what it does and that’s not an act of violence it’s an act of kindness actually. That’s what I see. For some reason, human beings get it confused, I don’t know exactly why.
I look forward to Part II of our interview and beyond!
Thanks for reading...
Monica
This is an interview with an adult male whose fraternal twin sister was lost during the birth process, although it was understood she would go from early on (most likely due to twin-to-twin transfusion) as she was undernourished. I just happened to meet this person and discover we both lost our twin sister at birth. He is not involved in the womb twin community and has no awareness of the healing path or that there are others like him who are on it.
He struck me as a rare example of a womb twin survivor who is well adjusted and accepting of the situation and therefore free of many problems associated with the syndrome, largely in part due to the healthy way he and his family embraced the loss. There were many generations of twins in the family and this was simply his version of the twin story which was acknowledged and had its place in the family history. Unlike so many families in our culture who repress lost twins, usually out of grief and ignorance which causes further damage due to mishandling, he and his family handled it well and therefore it sits well in him.
Tell us about your mother’s pregnancy while carrying you, whatever you may know, as well as your birth experience?
I think she didn’t know she was having twins at first, this was in the 1950’s when they didn’t have the technology, one was behind the other. Then towards the end they realized. I was 2 ½ months premature and my mom was going thru some weird stuff in her life and was suicidal. She told me she was on the verge of jumping in front of a subway train but she had stopped herself because of myself and my twin sister within her. That was always interesting later, there was a close bond thing between us. But during birth she told me this story about these three spiritual people, wise men, saying as she was giving birth “One has to go back” and I could sort of sense it when she was talking about it.
Do you think that was the first time she became aware that she was carrying twins?
I think so, I think it was pretty close in time.
I always thought about that – especially during teen/young adulthood, that my sister decided not to come onto this plane. This is a crazy world and there have been times I’ve been a little jealous that she went off onto great adventures, especially now, I mean, I’ve always known this intuitively before it was known in astrophysics, how huge the universe is and it gets bigger everyday as we see more into the great beyond. I think there’s a lot out there and I’ve always thought how ironic I can almost see us together sort of looking at planet earth coming in, as energy sources and she is sort of skidding off the atmosphere saying “No!”
So she was already skiddish before she even went in?
I wonder – it’s all so fast, the inception of life, so it’s questionable. They say you are an intelligent being at 8 weeks into conception, whether or not you are actually a part of this biosphere or not is to be questioned.
I had a friend who had a near death experience and left his body, he talked about this white cord that kept going in the atmosphere..so l don’t know if, as a spirit entity that tether comes toward the biosphere and hooks onto it, I don’t know but I always thought it was interesting that she didn’t…when I was young I missed her [referring to his twin]. My aunt had fraternal twins male/female a year older than me, also when I was a teenager she told me my grandmother had a twin also but lost it before birth.
So you had a mirror image of a fraternal twin pair growing up?
Not really – she had a foot/skeletal problem and was frail, and the boy was fine, he was big – bigger than me.
Do you know who was born first?
I don’t know, I assume she was because she was more mature but she was physically frail so it’s hard to tell.
Anyway, back to my mom and the three men during my birth, so the story was my mom would have to put one [twin] back and I have a hard time remembering her decision (she’s deceased now) but I sort of pushed myself out. I had a want to come out here. My sister wasn’t born alive, I don’t know when she died but it was during the birth.
What happened was, my mom didn’t know she was having twins and she wasn’t eating enough food for two and apparently I was eating all the food and my sister wasn’t nourished properly. I don’t think she knew there were twins until she went into labor. It’s hard for me to recall all of it exactly but I was 3 lbs 8 ozs and in an incubator for a good 2 months and it was kind of odd because they realized about a month before I was born, because I was born in February, that the oxygen had been blinding kids. They figured out how to do it right – that’s what happened to Stevie Wonder, the oxygen was too strong and it burned his eyes out. That’s what I kind of remember, my mom was struck by that and it was sort of a premonition that she was going to have to put one back.
So she knew in her soul that she’d have to put one back even though the medical doctors hadn’t yet confirmed she was carrying twins?
Yes.
Do you have any pre-birth memories you can personally recall?
I remember things very vividly from 2-3 years old whereas most people don’t.
But I don’t know, I remember her and I took it as a given – because these stories I didn’t know til later like age 9 or 10 (even though I was always told I was a twin from the beginning).
I always took it as a given and wasn’t really upset about it, I missed her and there was curiosity.
My mom used to talk about it a lot, so I guess any of the trauma that might have occurred she subdued by acknowledging it, talking about it. It would be a curious thing if I had a mother who negated it and tried to act like it didn’t happen and I could definitely see that as being a very traumatic experience. But I took it as a given, that everything was more or less ok and that this was just something that happened and was part of the experience of Being. My mom was very good at that – embracing this experience of Being. She always referred to us as Human Beings, and that concept of Being had a profound understanding.
(I refer to the “Be” heart image I posted on this blog this past Valentine’s Day as it relates to Being a Self)
Yes, but it’s not just a Be, it’s the act of Be-ing.
It’s not just a noun, it’s an adjective, it’s an act. It’s very much this living expression. With humans there is some kind of weird difference from animals, and that difference is Human Being. This presence of now. Not only now, but the linear time frame. Animals are mostly in the present and really don’t have a huge concept of linear time, I don’t necessarily agree with that I think it’s shorter maybe, I know from my experience of dealing with animals they do have a history of understanding but they don’t have this act of Being that we have.
What I was once told about this is, that humans differ in that they have capability of Story. They have a sense of story, and ability to pass that on, that animals don’t.
That’s an interesting way of putting it, yes, my mother was very much an oracle, a storyteller and that was a very big part of learning from her – through the stories. Anyway, she quelled the trauma that might have been superceded…
So you know that in your bones?
That how she handled it definitely affected how you handled it?
Yes it’s that weird innate connection/bond that we had, because when she said she didn’t jump in front of that subway (train) it was because I was helping her, and we maintained that throughout our lives. This camaraderie, nurturing and helping the sustainability between us.
Would you say she was like a twin to you in a way?
That maternal bond is extremely strong – no, my mom wasn’t my sibling or my friend, we were very close but she was my mother. She wasn’t your stereotypical mother but she was my mother and she made that clear. I sense my twin and her being is a different entity. It’s a distinct character.
So you never saw your mother as sort of like a twin consolation prize?
Never, never. I always sensed my [twin] sister’s presence, sometimes even now.
Going back to the subway incident, can you personally recall that in utero?
It’s hard to tell…here’s a sidebar analogy:
He then recounts a memory from the age of 3 in Mexico where he was standing on the bay intrigued by the small island in the distance. One day a woman came and put him on her back and attempted to swim out to the island to fulfill his dream of going there. On the way she grew tired and frightened that she would not make it. He calmed her down and told her it was going to be ok. Then a boat came and rescued them, but he connected this to being a similar situation to his mom in the subway where they comforted each other to survive.
I wonder if this could be a repeat of your womb story with your twin? Sometimes these dynamics repeat in order to bring them to awareness.
Yes. That’s why this was such a profound moment in my life.
You had to trust a stranger!
Well, no, she was actually trusting me!
But you were only 3 and that’s amazing a woman would take a 3 year old out into the ocean…
But she got tranced into what I was doing with this thing (meaning his wanting to go to the island) and then she got scared and this boat came and pulled us out of the water. The boat literally came out of nowhere from my perspective, all of a sudden it just appeared.
Do you have that in other parts of your life, this comforting other women to get where you need to go?
Yes with my mother, my younger sister, my nephews as babies, when they’re babies there’s no gender really. So in that sense it sort of repeated many times.
How much younger was your sister and were you always clear she was your sister and not your twin?
Yes, she was 10 years younger and always my sister. To her I was kind of a father also, because of the age difference.
Did your twin have a name and if not, what name would you give her?
Before my sister was born, my mom would talk about my twin sister, and she was going to name my sister Afrika and she said that was the name she wanted to give my twin [chuckling happily] so I guess that was her name.
So for you, that’s her name too?
Yes.
Getting back to when you were coming in and seeing earth, and this tether thing..
Did you and your twin have an agreement or pact between you and if you could put that into words how would you say it?
I don’t know, you know, yes…I guess there was this unity in the womb. We were spiritually going into this form of living, this – what do you call it – you know when you come into this plane and you go into a womb and you become a living entity, I seem to remember we were doing it together and I kind of sense that…
It was always a curiosity when my mom said I was the one who was nurtured the most, it was really hard to figure out how that happened but in a way I kind of sensed that if one wasn’t gonna get it then both of us would’ve probably died. If we split the nutrition, we probably both would’ve died. I don’t think there was enough for two so one had to get the greater amount and I get the sense that she [my twin] said “ok”…
Did you ever feel guilty about that?
No, not at all.
Thankful?
Yeah, but sort of beyond that though…
How did you feel?
It was sort of like a given, it was something that needed to be done and maybe because I was the one. I mean, if she was the one, then I would’ve probably died. So it wasn’t really like a sense of obli…I don’t know, not like a material thing, like “it’s mine, I’m going to take it” you know but this obligation because of nature and nurture, survival. I sort of sense her moving on, and that was a given too, she went back to the continuum.
Do you have a sense of when that was?
I do, it was during birth…and it was a given. It was what was supposed to be done. There was no hierarchy involved but later as I got older I got a sense of jealousy towards her that she…in a way it’s kind of strange, I always had a sense of her being the stronger spirit. I don’t know if that’s the influence of the matriarchal bond and knowledge, not only from my mom but my grandmother and women in general and just as females in general, as a gender with the species. I don’t know if that was the case or if it was just that she, I always had reverence towards her because of that, that strength. Even though she was the weaker one, there was a great deal of strength for her to make that move and sacrifice. There have been many times that I’ve missed her and thought she would help me through these weird situations. She would have a clear stable mind and give me advice and understand.
This is kind of weird, these feelings are old feelings that haven’t really been talked out…but as I’m expressing them, I know them instinctually to be very old feelings.
So how often to do you think about your twin?
A lot actually.
Would you say daily or more than daily, weekly, monthly….?
I don’t know, maybe weekly, bi weekly, sometimes daily. I’d say frequent, often. I’d say more often than not.
So she’s really still very much a part of you?
Yeah, yeah.
So can you distinguish between her energy and your energy as a twin?
Oh yeah. Not only that, but the sub-entities within myself. I guess there are one or two of them. But that’s separate than her also. It’s a distinct entity that I’ve always sensed, it’s not me, you know.
So about the sub-entities within… Do you feel like you have a dual personality yourself? Do you feel an alpha/beta thing or how would you describe it?
I wouldn’t call it like a dual personality per se, I would say there is some kind of weird polarization and I think that’s pretty common in most clear healthy human beings. You know in mythology, I was very enamored by Pinocchio and Jiminy Crickit and this other entity within yourself speaking to you and when I was younger it was very loud. Very loud.
Was it masculine or feminine?
It’s masculine I guess.
So it was you, it’s coming from you?
Yeah, yeah, definitely. You know, it was me but it was very separate at the same time.
So there’s a duality right there.
Yeah, but I remember I would have these dreams when I was young that started around 6 or 7, maybe earlier but I started having these dreams of flying and I could never really do it. I was afraid, I wouldn’t get too much lift and this would go on for years. Then I’d get a little more lift, I could get to the 2nd floor of the library on 10th Street between A& B. I was a little scared of flying, this would go on for years and I wouldn’t get much higher than the second floor. Then later, I’d get a little higher and get a little more control. This went on for decades. Then I might’ve been in my 20’s…
My life in the outside world prior to 6 or 7 yrs old, 1st grade was ok but in 2nd grade I was in an inferior school and the teacher thought I was smart so assigned me to a smarter class. My mom transferred me to another school where the learning curve was way too high and I didn’t have academic training even though I was with people at the same intelligence level. The point being, it turned out I had dyslexia and when I got to 2nd grade I cheated on a spelling test to avoid embarrassment and she humiliated me in front of the whole class. That left a really bad…it was a really bad experience. My school experience with other people and friends – I lived on the East Side/they lived on the West Side, rich people/poor people, hipsters/straight and all these dualities..in that environment with friends & relatives, brilliant brilliant people, I was on par with them but in the normal social environs & activities were exceedingly uncomfortable. I didn’t live in the same neighborhood, but I understand why my mom did it and I don’t necessarily regret it, but it was very difficult to navigate through.
So you had a lot of anxiety?
A lot of anxiety. And then they took me out of the smart class and put me in the lower class because I cheated on that test and was put with the inferior people that weren’t as smart and I was bored to tears but I didn’t have the academic wherewithal and luckily I went to some private schools for dyslexia. But I could do a lot of things that no one else could do plus my mom was always teaching me things and I was always learning things so it was a weird dichotomy and I didn’t know til much later – I didn’t read my first cover to cover book til I was 16 or 17 and it was Hesse – and I remember reading ‘A Stranger In A Strange Land’ and I identify with that stranger so much, I still do, feeling like on this planet and not being able to fit in properly. Being a person with a big heart and kind and other people not understanding it and even castigating you behind it. Anyway, I really identified with that. I thought about my sister again and if she were around, I mean, my mom helped a lot but it took a really long time until I had friends per se. There were always interruptions for a lot of different reasons. It would get really good and then something would happen and they would get taken away or move or all these pretty heavy scenes.
Did you feel lonely?
No, I was never lonely per se but was very disheartened because of these interruptions.
I remember we moved around a lot and we didn’t have a steady continual environ until 5 or 6 yrs old and we stayed in that place until I was 13. Best friends would move, another came to live with us then he was taken away and we were really close and that was a huge break up.
Is it repeated abandonment?
Not only abandonment but you find somebody you gel with and then it almost gets to a point of familiarity, a comfort level, where you’re not guessing anymore and it’s this nice comeraderie and you start to work on that kind of magic - which is a whole other thing to perpetuate and when it gets interrupted, it’s like you’re suddenly floundering in the ocean, you know.
I would try to connect with fellow pupils and it was very difficult. I was always kind of an outsider.
So you’ve always felt different?
Always. I mean, yeah, always. It’s always been hard, I’ve led a very difficult life. I’ve always feigned a sense of complacency or chill or whatever…to fit in and not call attention to how different I am and also to maintain a level of sanity. I used to make these really deep reflections and go through thoroughly what happened over the past 6 months or year, biannually maybe more, thorough inspections of what I had done. I did that for 15-20 years but it hasn’t happened in a really long time but I used to sort of be my own therapist. That’s why I have had trouble with therapists, I am my own therapist because I do a better job.
As we conclude Part I of II of this interview, I offer some information about being a womb twin re: boundaries, navigating the world as an individual, hypersensitivity, Self awareness, duality, black holes – all which he agress with and finds very interesting. He said:
Talking about this like we’re doing is not only airing it out but bringing it back up so you can see it and identify with it, relate with it, embrace it and be part of it again. I always refer to this act of Being as Nativity. It’s a word I got in a weird altered state, my mother was very much a visionary, a seer, an oracle, an untrained shaman. She didn’t like it sometimes, she didn’t want to know, it was a burden. She didn’t have a lot of control because she wasn’t trained at it and it would scare her. My level of perception is acute in many ways, I don’t call it an extrasensory perception, I call is an intelligence, i.e. intelligence = perception. The keener your perception the more intelligent you are. I’m not necessarily academically intellectual in all levels I’m not a master of math but I understand physics. My friends, who are brilliant, say “It’s ok, you communicate that anyway” without knowing the language of mathematics. Talking about this starts to open up the perception and, as you said, dealing with these uncomfortable navigations.
It’s all about maintaining the species, Darwin called it survival of the fittest. But it’s like, life wants to live and if one has to die for it to live, that’s what it does and that’s not an act of violence it’s an act of kindness actually. That’s what I see. For some reason, human beings get it confused, I don’t know exactly why.
I look forward to Part II of our interview and beyond!
Thanks for reading...
Monica
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